Name: Reclusive Dork

Age: between 18 and 50 years old

Gender: Male.

27 commandments of FanFiction

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. If thou breakest this rule, this displeases the masses.

3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. At beginnings and endings are fine.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8. Thou shalt not use smilies in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. This turns away the ones who taketh this business seriously.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character –– yes, we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speakest –– writing is an art.

20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on. It displeases the masses, causes thy readers to lose their vision, and makes angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before thou writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativity and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shalt use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

"A guy went to an Author and started to complain about how the book went. The author looked at the guy calmly and asked him, "How do you spell author?"

They looked at him for a few seconds, "A-U-T-H-O-R."

The author replied, "Wrong!! It's spelled G-O-D!!!"

They guy looked like he was struck, so the author continued, "I chose how the story started, I chose how it went, and I choose how it ends!! You don't have any right to complain about how it goes!!! Besides, no one FORCED you to read my story, you CHOSE ON YOUR OWN TO READ IT, SO WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING?!!!" After that the guy left disgruntled and the author was pretty happy."

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you hate whining and harassment from Flamers.

I don't normally like repost chains, but this is just, yes.

A Dork's Declaration

The World is my Ally, the Void my Foe. In my Hands I hold Fate, in my Heart I hold Hope. From my Mouth I give Truth, From my Eyes I give Love.

I am the Master of this Story, That is my Creed.

...Is that Dorky enough for you?

Repost chains can FUCK OFF! I don't need to be guilted into filling up my profile with useless stuff just because I'm scrolling across someones profile and I happen to read a short story that's posted on it. "REPOST IF YOU LOVE JESUS!" "REPOST OR YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!" "IF YOU READ THIS AND DON'T REPOST, YOU WILL SOON DIE AND GO TO HELL!" I'm not so insecure that if i see shit like this I will get down on my knees and repent to Lord Almighty so FUCK OFF!

(If you agree with me, and want to use this, go ahead. I won't guilt you into reposting, though)