I normally have Notes at the end of stories, but I feel as though I should address this beforehand to avoid confusion.
While this story does start in the smash universe (Specifically the world of light) it is largely a Persona 5 and Fire Emblem Awakening story with a Lucina and Joker entering a relationship (Eventually... knowing me, it'll be by chapter 7). Other characters may appear at the start and the end. I'm also not sure what category to put this fic under so Sorry.
Anyways, please enjoy.
Art by Hakuramen head to his twitter!
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Could he put tyrant-god killer on his resume?
It wasn't even a one-time thing if this last attack was successful then he'd have three gods under his belt, one of control, another of light, and one more hentai monster of pure blackness. Despite how different they were, they all seemed to really hate the idea of people with free will.
Well, he still wasn't quite sure if the little pink ball of murder that was called Kirby was technically a person, but even pink murder balls deserved free will! Especially the Pokèmon - Ann would be more than a little miffed he if didn't save Pichu - and that squid kid that looked a lot like Futaba. So as a champion of making terrible choices he was going to save them all so they could have right to fuck up their own lives.
And look damn good doing it!
He grabbed his mask, welcoming the pain it would bring to tear off, his mouth twitching into a smile as the sheer joy of the coming battle began to flood into him. It couldn't even blame Haru for this, his own battle mania had always been there, boiling just under the surface as his natural desire to show off with all eyes on him began to bleed through. Part of the reason why he started the Phantom Thieves was of course to do the right thing, but mostly, he just enjoyed it.
Below him, a group of fighters battled against a horde of zombie-like clones and a group of giant white gloves that assaulted them from above with a wide arrange of magical attacks or brutal strength, it was a miracle they had survived this long without him.
Among his supposed allies, he only really recognized one, the giant turtle dragon thing that Mario sometimes beat up, Bowser, who was taking the brunt of the assault using his large size to tear through the hordes. Behind him were two humans, one was a tall woman with long green hair that looked to be some greek goddess, and the other was a boy with a sword and long blue hair, wait, maybe that was a girl? Either way, they certainly knew how to use a sword.
Another group of hands, four in total, half of them twitching appeared and headed right for him.
"Well then, time to start the show!" He leaped forward, dodging the first twitching hand's attack as it slammed into the ground with enough force to destroy the platform. The glove was surprisingly smooth, almost like silk, and just as easy to cut.
With his knife buried between the hand's fingers, he slid downward, dragging his knife down with him, like how a pirate would slide down a ship sails for that extra bit of flair. A second hand, this one more in control barely missed him as it's attack flew overhead. That one was close, almost too close. Ahh, he'd missed this thrill.
Kicking off the hand and towards the other pair he twirled, if for no other reason than to look cool, hoping that someone was watching. He was the leader of the Phantom Thieves, he had a reputation to maintain. He blasted the spazzing hand with his gun while twisting his dagger to block a blow coming from the other. The attack came, he blocked it, twisting his dagger and using it to dive up onto the hand's back and emptying the rest of his clip into it. They saw him do that right?
Bowser had his mouth open in shock, even as it held a struggling zombie in his massive claws, the green haired greek nodded at him, her attention still focused on the battle, explosions coming from her magical staff. And the blue-haired woman - he was sure this time - was glaring at him.
They hadn't seen anything yet. He grabbed his mask, relishing the pain and blood that came from ripping it off and letting out his true self, his true power. "Arsene! Ravage them!"
It was good to be back.
XXXX
He was a show-off. A good for nothing show-off, that was a thousand times worse than her father when he was trying to impress mother. At least that made sense. That was love! It was sweet, this was just showing off to feed his own ego. Not that it wasn't impressive, it was just pointless.
If she felt like being a dumbass and breaking from formation she could easily do what he did.
"Lucina!" Palutena's voice was both booming and soothing as it projected in her mind, drawing her attention to the battle before them. A fake version of Pikachu charged at her, its fur grey and eyes red even as electricity sparked about it. She turned, swung, and vanquished the foe with a single hit. The lords of light and darkness were getting desperate it seemed.
"Who is that?" She asked cutting into another foe, vaguely aware of the explosions taking place above her. He was riding on top of a Master Hand now. Really, who does that? Why? There's no point! Such an infuriating show-off!
Bowser either didn't hear her or didn't care, focused only on pushing them forward to the middle point where the opposing forces of light and dark were clashing. They were supposed to be the stealth squad, to wait for the other two forces to force the Galeem and Darkron to fight each other, it was the best way to maintain balance. But here they were fighting an army of hands and fakes.
One of Palutena's barriers blocked an attack from the side before one of her fire blasts cleared a path. Her voice clear enough to get the message across, while not distracting her from the fight - and glaring. "That's Joker, leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, and it would appear he's our reinforcements."
"How's a thief supposed to help us?" She glared at Joker as he continued to leap from hand to hand, damaging them but not defeating them, at least he made a decent distraction, to say the least.
"Arsene!" She heard his voice for the first time. It made her want to punch him. Her eyes were torn to the sky as the sound of rattling chains descended down towards the battleground. Blue fire erupting from the top of a Master Hand, followed by hollow laughter. "Ravage them!"
A black and red angel with the mask of a smiling demon burst forth, chains falling about it as the blue flames burned brighter, consuming the Master Hand and lashing out to a nearby Crazy Hand. All three of them dropped from the sky, crashing down into the ground like a meteorite and bathing the remaining forces in flames.
Palutena's barrier shielded them from the flames and doubling it down upon the fakes, the sounds of their spirits being freed mixed with the roaring fires. Palutena stood next to her, lowering her staff and pushing a defiant strand of her long green hair back, offering a small nod and a bright smile. "You shouldn't underestimate him, Joker may be a thief but he also defeated a god through sheer force of will and freed the hearts of his entire world."
The angel rose up, cackling as the blue flames wrapped around it before vanishing into the air.
"Besides, he certainly knows how to make an entrance," Palutena's laugh was full of mirth.
More like he knew how to make an ass out of himself if he could do that then why didn't he do that at the start? And it wasn't even him, it was that angel thing! Arsene or whatever he shouted out. (That was a lesson she learned from her pokemon allies). Still, he was an ally and a capable one. Just one that was late.
Joker dusted off some of the soot from his shoulder and quickly reloaded his pistol. Now that she got a good look at him, he really wasn't that impressive, black clothes, black coat, red gloves, and white mask, complete with frizzy black hair. His primary weapon was that of a dagger. Aside from his height which was greater than her father's he just wasn't impressive.
"Those were the bad guys right?" His smile was so cocky she wanted to stab him. "I'm Joker by the way."
"Greetings Joker, I am the goddess Palutena," She pressed a hand to her chest before gesturing back towards them, her feet touched the ground when she stood before the young man, these are my companions, The Koopa King Bowser, and Princess Lucina,"
He gave her one of those over exaggerated bows with one hand on his chest, the other extended out to the side, he looked more like a butler than a thief. But that smile was anything but polite. "A goddess and royalty? I feel rather out of place."
"Your Modesty is not welcomed," Bowser, stomped forward, the ground shaking under his massive footfalls and the rumble of his voice. "Do you need us to explain what we're doing here or are you ready to fight?"
Something flashed across his eyes, a hidden danger that was a sharp as Bowser's claws. But there was a joy mixed in there as well. Oh, he was one of those, the kind of person that would welcome conflict with open arms, sword first, questions later. Not that there was much room for negotiations with their current foe. But tactics would go further than-
"Of course," Joker stood to his full height and readjusted his red gloves, before nodding towards Galeem and Darkron near the background. "We just gotta beat two gods at once, should be easy."
"Easy?" She turned towards him, the half foot he had on her did not intimidate her in the least. "I have fought dragons, demons, and other monstrosities since I could hold a sword and this was by far the greatest challenge, even with many strong allies, and you, some thief, have the audacity to say that it was easy?"
Just as she was not cowed by him, he did not flinch under her harsh stare. Instead, that damn smile that oozed confidence into a physical manifestation that made the very air around him he winked at her and she really wanted to punch him. But that could wait until after the worlds were saved.
"Just watch, and follow my orders." She was really hoping that Bowser would eat him.
"Oh, and why do you get to be in charge? We agreed that-"
He held up a hand, head cocked to the side. "I'm sorry do you have god-killing experience too? If so lead the way."
"Well no, but you can't just show up and start ordering us around, right Bowser?" Truth be told she had no idea how they managed to convince the lizard tyrant to follow Palutena's commands but his strength was much needed.
"Would you two lovebirds quit wasting time?" Bowser snorted flames, pressing forward. "The others are making their moves, and I will not let that punk Mario beat me!" The ground shook as he ran.
"Lovebirds!" She screeched her face heated. "We just met!"
If the giant fire breathing lizard heard her he did not stop.
And a good thing too, the two gods were starting to collide.
XXXX
"Alright Mr. Godkiller, now what?"
He was starting to think that Lucina didn't like him.
That and that she had no idea what stealth was, there was a reason why when it came to dividing them up he took her, Bowser could be heard a mile away, and Palutena had a habit of glowing and randomly exploding things, which for a stealth mission left him with a very angry princess with a very sharp sword.
They were supposed to be infiltrating this castle filled with Nasty undead to fight Fucking Dracula, not just some guy called Dracula, but the actual vampire lord of the night that was one of Ryuji's favorite movies. It was times like this where he really missed his team. Where was Futaba and her google-fu when he needed it?
Going unnoticed was a vital trick for trying to steal something, and in theory, it could be applied to assassination as well, in that cause he's really just stealing someone's life. Besides, Dracula was undead, so it technically wasn't- okay, it was slightly murder. Could he put Dracula killer on his resume?
An empty throne room illuminated by a full moon stretched out before them. Damn, the king wasn't home, this was why he sent a calling card, it pissed people off and made them want to fight him. Not that he'd ever tell Mona that, really it was only Haru that enjoyed fighting as much as he did. But she was a Psychopath.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and some blue hair fell from above. She was going to say it wasn't she? He really hoped that she wasn't that bad. "He's not even here."
Yep, she was that bad. Dammit. Didn't she know about jinxing things? Apparently, loud, opinionated, princesses that could actually fight were just not his type. Which was a shame, because she was actually pretty cute. "Well now that you've said that he's probably right behind us glaring down at us waiting for us to notice him before we start fighting."
She gasped, hand flying off his shoulder and the sound of her sword being drawn echoed throughout the room. "Could you stop being right and start fighting?"
To say Dracula was intimidating was to say that Shido was a prick, right, but just didn't do it any justice. He was tall, pale, had red eyes, and kind of looked like he wanted to murder the shit out of his entire family and whatever village he happened to be living in. Basically just murder, pure unadulterated murder.
Unfortunately for all parties involved his natural instincts when faced with so much murder was his natural response to just about everything; being a smart ass.
"So, do you greet all of your guests by standing there menacingly without saying hello?" He twirled his knife in one hand and aimed his gun at Dracula's pale face. Fortunately, it appeared as though the cognitive effects of his rubber dagger and toy gun still worked in this world, which meant he could probably get away with something clever. "I'll have you know I have this pistol loaded up with Silver Bullets so-"
"Silver?" Dracula asked, his thin lips breaking into a small smile. "You're aware that's for werewolves are you not?"
"Wait really?" He looked to Lucina who was holding her very fancy and very sharp sword at Dracula.
She noticed his stare and returned it with a glare. "Why are you looking at me? How was I supposed to know that?"
"You're from a fantasy world! Aren't vampires weak to silver?"
"I am not from a Fantasy world! As for the silver weakness, I'm afraid I normally just rely on Falchion to-" She was very good at running her mouth, which meant she was great for distracting Dracula just long enough to start shooting him. Repeatedly. In the face.
He wasn't technically alive, so it wasn't technically murder! Besides, he was fairly certain that laws didn't exactly cross dimensional boundaries.
"A bit of warning next time!" She dropped her guard, just in time for a fireball to appear before her. Apparently, Dracula was mildly bulletproof. Or just not killable. But that didn't stop him last time.
He dove forward, pushing her out of the way, and tumbling to the ground as the fireblast grazed his shoulder, nothing a bit of food or, a quick heal spell couldn't fix. But holy shit did it hurt. It was like when Shido's shadow punched him in the face, but with fire. Tumbling over her he landed on his feet, just in time to shoot Dracula and watch him turn into a swarm of bats.
Fantastic.
The bats swarmed him, dodging his slashes, and biting at his arms, preventing him from grabbing his mask to summon a persona that could deal with multiple enemies at once, like Thor with his thunder spells. Then they stopped, flying behind him and he found himself staring at what could only really be described as a giant demonic bat. A muscle-bound punch already flying towards him.
"Joker!" Lucina called, jumping in front of him, sword at the ready. With far more ease than he thought possible she blocked the blow meant for him, deflecting it with her sword and counter-attacking, her sword cutting a wide swath in Dracula's arm.
She swung her sword again, again, and again, screaming with every direct hit like it would increase its damage. Dracula recoiled trying to block against her assault. "Joker! Do something!"
Huh? Oh! He was staring. "Sorry, there's just something attractive about a woman fighting like that."
"Idiot!" She scuffed renewing her assault while dodging and blocking Dracula's assault.
His foe was distracted, which meant he had plenty of time to unleash himself and go all out. He swung around to the back of Dracula, leaping from ruined pillar to ruin pillar, with a leap he was above Dracula. He knew just the persona to put him on Ice. "King Cool!"
A giant blob of Ice and snow appeared below him, falling downwards and engulfing their foe in biting cold. The blob turned into a smiling snowman holding a rod and began to spin, turning into a blizzard that collapsed down onto itself. There was a snap and the blizzard expanded into ice, shattering and fading, leaving a dazed Dracula in the core.
So Vampires didn't like the cold, that was good to know.
"Lucina!" He landed, next to her, dagger in hand eyes still locked on Dracula. They only had a few moments to strike. "Together!"
She nodded, and they charged.
XXXX
Fighting a god was an experience he would never forget. And seeing two opposing gods, one of light and order, the other of darkness and chaos going at it was another thing entirely. Their clashes were violent, tearing at the fabric of the world, causing shockwaves that did not vanish.
"They're going to destroy everything," Palutena, goddess of stating the obvious, said when he and Lucina appeared. Bowser nowhere to be seen. "It's just us three for now, what's the plan?"
He couldn't help but smile, what was it called again, the arrogant pride to challenge a god? Ahh, yes, that was about right, maybe he really wasn't paying attention to that windbag. "Try to get their cores together, can you two manage that?"
"You can count on me," Palutena smiled, twirling her staff and arming herself with a shield that shined like a mirror, her clothing was torn and burned in some places but she still held herself with the grace of a goddess. Hopefully, she never became his enemy.
"What are you going to do?" Lucina glared him up and down, the usual scowl on her face, even after he saved her from getting a fireball to the face.
"I'm going to summon a devil that will shoot both of them with a bullet of sin, and hopefully wipe them out with one shot."
It sounded crazier when he said it like that.