To all those who are worried about me, I'm fine. Just hard to come up with new material with all that's been happening in the world lately.

And on that note, I have a few words to all the people hoarding items like toilet paper, hand sanitizer and other necessities. KNOCK IT OFF. You do NOT need an entire pallet's worth of toilet paper to survive this virus, and the cashiers certainly don't appreciate having to ring it all up and then be yelled at by customers later because we've run out. I get that hand sanitizer will make it easier to avoid being sick, but that is NO reason to buy more than one or two bottles out of paranoia.

The ENTIRE reason there's a shortage in the first place is because people are buying far too much at once, leaving none for the rest of us. It's beyond annoying for everyone having to wait TWO WEEKS just to buy something as basic as toilet paper when you actually NEED it all because someone went and bought more than they would possibly need for daily use.

Once this headache over the virus is over, you're going to feel really ridiculous because you have far too much in your house.

To my fans, sorry about the rant but I REALLY needed to get this off my chest. I work as a cashier at Dollar General and it's really irritating having to tell customers that we have no toilet paper or hand sanitizer because someone else came and bought it right after we got a new truck in. Our manger has to field several calls a day and she has to explain to multiple people that we have none left.

A small figure with a fedora and chameleon walked into a quiet town. He had been charged with training the last remaining heir of the Vongola famiglia, and he was intent on completing his contract, regardless of how the boy felt about it.

The problem? It took him five very long, annoying hours to track down where the boy was, and the kid had the most ridiculous disguise barring some of his own. He looked like someone of Chinese descent and even had the accent right, and wore sunglasses indoors.

"Welcome to Arashi Apothecary. What do you need?" he said with a distinct accent.

"I'm looking for Tsunayoshi Sawada."

The man behind the counter paused, before sighing.

"Registration or other?" he asked tiredly, accent gone completely.

"Registration?" repeated Reborn dumbly.

The boy tilted the sunglasses down and gave him an odd look.

"You do know what this store doubles as...right?" he asked slowly.

"All I know is that I spent five hours trying to find you because no one said what your part time job is," said Reborn impatiently. "I've been sent to train you into becoming a mafia boss."

"...Which family?" asked Tsuna.

"Vongola. Before you ask, there aren't any other heirs."

"Figures. I... oh what now?" said Tsuna in exasperation.

A girl ran into the shop trying to take deep breaths.

"Tsuna-kun, there's a new Blutbad in town and they're going after the Bauerschwein. Also, the Klaustreich are having fights in the alleys again. Kyouya is having his usual nap..." she reported.

"Dammit, why can't they give me one week of peace and quiet. And why the hell can't that damn idiot take his 'naps' when my shift is over?!" said Tsuna in exasperation, before reaching under the counter for something.

Reborn's eyes went wide when he saw the kid pull out an honest to god battle ax and calmly put it over his shoulder, before grabbing a well-worn armband. He also slung a belt around his waist that had multiple pockets strapped along the leather.

What. The. Hell.

"Celia, the store's yours until I get back."

She gave him a salute and sent him the coordinates of the last known locations. He took off running with more skill and speed than Reborn would have expected considering he was supposed to be sealed.

It took little time for Reborn to catch up, and he promptly took a spot on Tsuna's shoulder, careful to avoid the sharp edges of the ax.

Because seriously, who ran with an ax strapped to their back?

His day got really confusing and surreal as Tsuna calmly ran towards an adult man scaring two other men. Something about him shifted, but Reborn couldn't see what. But he took one look at Tsuna and snarled an odd word.

"Grimm!"

The man promptly ignored the other two (who seemed relieved to see Tsuna for some bizarre reason) before charging at the teen.

What happened made Reborn serious question Iemitsu's intelligence, because there was no way in hell Tsuna was a normal civilian. He fought like a pro, striking a particular spot in the man's back that sent him sprawling into the pavement with absolute agony, before calmly placing the ax to the man's neck.

"I'm not going to bother asking who you are because clearly you're new to town or just a tourist. Ergo you don't know the rules of Namimori at all. Fights over legitimate grievances are settled in the arena or the Tribunal only. We do not allow the 'species' bias between Wesen in this city, because it causes unnecessary disturbances to the peace. Be grateful I was the one sent to deal with you, because the other Grimm in town wouldn't have been so nice and would have bitten you to death for disturbing his nap," said Tsuna in a dead calm voice.

The man spat something in German, and Tsuna rolled his eyes.

"Screw you too, asshole. Now are you going to leave peacefully or do I have to have you removed by force?"

The German tried to twist around to rip Tsuna's leg. Too bad Tsuna was clearly prepared for such a thing, because he took out a vial and simply blew it in the man's face.

From the scent of it, Reborn would have to guess it was cayenne pepper powder. The man started screaming as his eyes watered from pain.

Two hits later and he was out cold.

Tsuna took out his phone and dialed a number.

"Kusakabe-san, we got an idiot Blutbad from out of town caught harassing Bauerschwein and I just knocked him out. Mind having some of the committee come and pick the fool up and see how Kyouya wants to handle it? Yeah, I have my cuffs. I also have to deal with some alley cats having a pissing contest."

Less than five minutes later, two teens with black armbands and pompadours appeared and took the man into custody. Tsuna was off to deal with the "alley cats"...who took one look at him and backed off immediately. Both were pretty scratched up, but evidently feared Tsuna enough to call it off.

"Gentlemen, you know the rules. If you want to have a pissing contest then schedule a match in the arena like everyone else, not in the alleyways where you might accidentally be seen," said Tsuna patiently.

The two looked rather chastised, before going off to cool their heads.

At this point Reborn couldn't contain himself any more.

"What. The. Fuck."

"What's wrong?" asked Tsuna. Then it hit him what the problem was. "Oh, right. You said something about the mafia didn't you. Which means any files you got would have come from the idiot or his friends."

"What the hell is going on here?!" demanded Reborn.

Tsuna took out a phone and dialed what was obviously a very familiar number to the teen. After a short conversation in Chinese, he handed it to Reborn.

"All questions should be directed to someone more informed about the Mafia than I am, and recognized enough to trust the source. I need to get back to the shop anyway."

Reborn took the phone...and the second he recognized the voice he stiffened, before directing his questions towards Fon.

What. The. Hell.

Fon POV

The Storm Arcobaleno...and secret Grimm...chuckled at the confusion and bafflement in Reborn's voice. From the sound of it, he had just gotten blindsided by the other world hidden under his nose and now he had to play catch up because no one told him of the rules.

He almost felt sorry for Reborn, but this was too funny not to enjoy a little amusement at his expense.

"Hello Reborn. From the sound of it I'm guessing that the Vongola have finally realized they need to bring Tsuna-kun in and you're stuck training him," said Fon. You could hear him trying desperately not to laugh at the obvious confusion Reborn had to be feeling.

Fon listened patiently, but you could easily hear his amusement as he explained things to Reborn.

"I can send you the actual file on Tsuna's skills, since I know for a fact the one the Vongola have is so off it's a joke. And before you ask, it was done deliberately because Iemitsu was an idiot. No, Tsuna doesn't have his Flames sealed, and I'm sure he'd be happy to explain to you the reason why they believe it was done as Iemitsu demanded. Oh, and before you try anything I'd learn the rules of the city, otherwise my grandson will be very angry with Tsuna."

He was going to enjoy this, and Reborn knew it.

Reborn stared at Tsuna, who hadn't bothered to put on his "disguise" (mostly for the "normal" adults who didn't like the idea of a fifteen year old shop owner without an actual adult) and kept his glasses on.

"Let me get this straight. Your grandfather on your mother's side is something called a 'Grimm', and your job is to keep these...Wesen... in line."

Tsuna cheerfully pointed at Celia, who's face seemed to ripple before actual feathers, golden eyes and... was that a beak... came on her face. She looked like some kind of humanoid bird thing with a slight bulge in her neck.

"Celia is a Seltenvogel, which is basically like a 'golden goose' in some sense. She helps run the shop, mostly because it's a known 'safe haven' for Wesen to do their shopping, recover from fights that might accidentally expose them to the normal, or to alert Kyouya that they're here and want the basic 'protection' we provide for the community."

"And the sunglasses? Do they help you see them or something?" asked Reborn.

"Actually they're to help hide the fact he's a Grimm. One of the easiest ways for Wesen to recognize a Grimm is by the eyes... they're like black coals that see right through our ability to hide when we Woge and it's rather disconcerting," supplied Celia.

Tsuna rolled his eyes.

"It's easier to hide when I wear these. I can pretend I'm not one of the idiots who make up the majority of my classmates."

"And why were you carrying an ax into that fight?"

"Because Kyouya is a territorial bastard, and decided rather than chasing out the errant Wesen in his territory he was going to enforce a common code of discipline that they all had to follow or he'd bite them to death. Once they realized he wasn't going to target them simply for being Wesen, and that I was more interested in running this apothecary, they pretty much accepted the new rules and things fell into place."

"What rules are those?" asked Reborn.

Tsuna pulled out a rather thick book in multiple languages, including Italian.

Rule one: all disputes have to be settled in either the communal arena or by a tribunal made of the same species or similar to the Wesen in question.

Rule two: any disputes between species have to be settled in the arena over legitimate grievances only. Hunting other Wesen for sport is not tolerated, ever.

Rule three: Obey the directions of the Special Disciplinary Committee during a crisis or else.

Rule four: no targeting the local Grimm for existing... outside Grimm are not to be attacked without previous provocation.

Rule five: any rites or ceremonies specific to certain Wesen must be either kept within acceptable means for 'human' activities or must be done outside the city and zero witnesses. Anything involving human hunting or sacrifice must be restricted to criminals or yakuza only.

Rule six: Hibari Kyouya hates people. Deal with it. If you want sympathy for your problems, go to Tsuna first.

Reborn's eyebrows went up with every rule he read.

"So let me get this straight. This... Hibari made the rules and makes damn sure that the local 'Wesen' follow them enough to keep the peace, but can't be bothered with actually helping them. Why are you selling herbs and spices, while dealing with the minor matters on the side?" asked Reborn baffled.

"Because I'm a Grimm too and actually happen to be sympathetic, and when the previous owner died no one wanted to step up and deal with the less savory Wesen who he had dealings with coming to bother them. Once they got used to the idea of a Grimm actually being nice instead of going after Wesen indiscriminately, business picked back up. I mostly wear the glasses as a courtesy to newcomers."

"And the registration thing?"

"That's mostly so I can keep track of what specific Wesen I'm dealing with, since some species have allergies or specific medical needs in the event they're injured. It's also so Kyouya can keep a census of how many Wesen are in the city and helps him eliminate problems when I'm having trouble finding the issue."

Namely in that he would make "home visits", scare the crap out of the Wesen in the process, and then tell Tsuna so he would deal with it instead. Most of the time it was an outsider, but it was nice to eliminate the locals first.

Generally speaking the locals had any hatred or anger towards Grimm beaten out of them by Kyouya by the time he came knocking. They respected him as a fellow predator, and that extended to Tsuna because he wasn't afraid to cut off heads if they were going to be unreasonable.

The ax was mostly for intimidation purposes at this point.

"I have no idea how to deal with this."

Tsuna shrugged helplessly.

"I know how to fight and to do a lot of basic healing, but no one said I couldn't be a mafia boss and a Grimm on the side. I mostly run the shop because I enjoy it and because I like to meet people who won't automatically think of me as Dame-Tsuna like the rest of them do."

The Wesen never called him Dame-Tsuna to his face, ever. They were too scared, or after they got to know him properly, respected him too much.

As such Tsuna was more inclined to be nicer to them than he was to humans. A sentiment Kyouya happened to firmly agree with. Hell, Celia was actually the rather grumpy teen's girlfriend!

(Tsuna fully suspected that had something to do with the fact Kyouya had a major soft spot for birds, and she felt like a smaller one when Woged. He didn't like it when people tried to kidnap her for some stupid egg-shaped rock in her neck.)

Seeing Reborn was still having trouble with the news there was more than just the underworld and the mafia that Tsuna dealt with, the teen cheerfully went into one of the back rooms which had a lock on it, disabled the trap, and brought out a massive, and very old book.

"Have fun reading. I mostly use them for reference these days," said Tsuna cheerfully.

"...This is in German. Old German, like the kind you'd only be able to hear in the really old country areas like the Black Forest. I wouldn't even know where to begin reading this," said Reborn flatly.

"You don't speak German?" said Tsuna, tilting his head. He spoke multiple languages, and could read even more. It was sort of a 'requirement' his grandfather had drilled into him, the same for Kyouya.

The older teen just didn't care for it... he'd bit any Wesen that caused trouble to death just fine without having to know or care what it was. If he did need to know, then he'd just make Tsuna research what it was and how to kill it.

The two had a very odd working relationship. One that had turned into an even stronger harmonization once Kyouya's Flames finally went active.

Fon had been pleased, since it meant his grandson would always have a partner he could rely on with the difficult ones. Tsuna was just a little annoyed he was stuck doing all the paperwork for the "Special Disciplinary Committee" and the regular one because Kyouya would simply ignore it until he had to deal with it.

Reborn gave Tsuna a very odd look.

"So just to clarify things... Your grandfather had a special gift that allows you to see animal people, your mother knew about it and helped dose Nono and Iemitsu when they were planning to seal you and made it look like they succeeded, and you run a spice shop slash apothecary slash safe house. Screw this, I need a damn drink!"

"What's your poison?" asked Tsuna without hesitation. Seeing the look Reborn shot him, he smirked. "Seriously, what brand do you drink? We have a well stocked liquor cabinet at home both for the really unpleasant cases and as a source of quick weaponry in the form of Molotov Cocktails that even Mama can use in a pinch. Just because she didn't inherit didn't mean she was oblivious to Wesen."

She was usually the one patching him up in the beginning, before he got good enough to handle himself. She just played the oblivious part because it made it easier for people to slip up and say things they shouldn't around her.

"...Got any liquor that goes well with high-quality coffee?" asked Reborn hopefully.

"White Russian, cinnamon liquor, or vodka?" he asked back.

"After today I might just try all three," said Reborn.

He would wake up with a monumental hangover, discover Fon had sent a digital copy of the files overnight and then nurse a very large amount of coffee while he sorted out the information and a hangover remedy Tsuna whipped up for him.

At least the situation wasn't as entirely hopeless as the last time. Tsuna seemed much more competent than Dino had been.