Loki: Will you stop pacing?

Ron-Pool: I CAN'T HELP IT. Sorry, Caps lock on. I can't help it.

Loki: Caps lock? Anyways, do not fret.

Darcy: Yeah Blond Choco-eyes. You'll do fine. So sit back and relax and let my Jötunn handle this.

Ron-Pool: Alright Alright. Handle it my fellow trickster.

Loki: *slow smirk*

Darcy: Enjoy the show everyone!

Ron-Pool: And Merry Christmas! Yeah, did not know we would post this on this day. Concidence?

Loki: Yes.

Summary: Ok, Long story short. I, Ron Stoppable, was hit with a mind altering machine that made me insane to the membrane like the glorious leader of DP-Ism, The Merc with a mouth, Deadpool. I doubt the world is ready for this twisted me but who cares?! Time for balls off the walls insanity, sick one-liners, constant harassment and awesome adventures. This is the Revamped and Re-Pooled Version of the timeless Classic UnStoppable with a Mouth: The Epitome of Awesome known as…Look at the title!

Pairings: Ron Stoppable and Harem?! Good Lord, I'm in trouble!

Genre: Humor, Romance and Action! The Triforce!

Rating: Rated Triple M for Mega Manly Mature!

Disclaimer: Eh...Don't own. Well I kinda...No...Don't own.

UnStoppable with a Mouth: The Epitome of Awesome Re-Pooled!

Chapter One: Mission from HFIL

"God, it's freezing up here," Ron stuttered out, his entire body shivering along the icy glacier he and Kim were currently climbing up. It had been five hours since their ride had dropped them off in Antarctica and Ron was freezing. Especially since his pants had fallen off before hand, leaving him in his Ferret-man boxers, much to Kim's amusement.

'Why did I choose to wear these today?" Ron thought to himself in disdain. Luckily, he had bought spare pants so he wasn't completely out of luck but it was those leather pants he had when he had that awesome hairdo of his and like Ron has pointed out many times, Leather doesn't breathe.

"Don't worry Ron," Kim told him as she looked down, her green eyes sparkling lightly in hidden amusement, "We're almost there. Why Drakken decided to bring his base up here, I will never understand…" Kim muttered the final part to herself as she turned away from the blond teen.

Rufus, the smart naked mole right he was, had placed himself in Ron's wool hat just in case Ron's pants had fallen off and said "Nnk, cold," while wrapping his little around his body, prompting Ron to take him out of his hat and place him in a large warm pocket in his large dark blue winter coat that his mom always made him take just in case.

"Good thing I listened," Ron noted with a smile as he reached the top of the glacier, taking Kim's out reached hand and letting her help him up to his feet.

"Thanks KP," Ron said when he got up to his feet and immediately took off his book bag and slipped on those leather pants, much to his annoyance but that annoyance changed into amazement when he saw Drakken's latest evil lair.

It was a pale blue fortress with tons of armed henchmen storming the place, silver outlines of the letter "D" on every side of the building, spikes at the top of the tower and a green and blue pair of flags soaring in the cold arctic wind. It looked very intimidating to Ron's eyes but he knew that Kim saw it more as a challenge to destroy than anything else.

"Come on Ron, let's foil Drakken's plans!" Kim exclaimed with authority in her voice, her eyes shining with determination before she charged forward, leaving Ron behind for a few seconds to stare at the fortress before charging in after her.

Secret Antarctica Fortress

Drakken

"Hey Boss, Princess and her frog have arrived. They found her scaling the left side of the mountain this place is built on."

Drakken turned around to face the grinning Shego with a hint of glee in his eyes.

"Very good Shego. The mind altering machine is ready to go. Tell the guards to go on break. I want this to be as easy as…Possible,"

He knew Shego had rolled her eyes at his little funny but that didn't matter. His plan was coming to completion and nothing or no one will get in his way.

Slowly, Drakken placed the glowing cube in a very dense silver briefcase and took it down the stairs to stare at the large container with a silver laser machine within it, a smirk on his face.

Kim Possible…How that name infuriated him to no end.

Every single time he's made a grand plan to take over the world, she's always there to stop him but this time…This time he counts on her to be here. To stop him from his plan to take over the world but little did she know…

This wasn't for world domination yet…

This plan was to have one of the world's greatest heroes under his command and it was a very simple plan and the key object that would help him was this glowing sky blue cube filled with untapped energy.

When Shego had bought this object back to him after stealing it from deep in the vaults of a destroyed base from some unknown agency, Drakken didn't know what to make of this odd cube and thought it useless at first…Until an agent of Global Justice, disguised as one of his men, had tried to take it and then the most peculiar thing happened.

The minute he touched it, the man had screamed in pure agonizing torture before his eyes turned into a pale, lifeless blue and yet he was alive. Drakken didn't know what exactly what was going on and asked the man what was his mission and to his shock, the man gave very detailed objectives about his mission.

This rather strange looking cube had the ability to mind control people!

After finding out this discovery, Drakken decided to study it and after a few days, he realized he had unknowingly found something that could change the world! This small cube would be able to form energy that the world had never seen as well as power any machine to maximum power as well as control people's mind.

It was then Drakken knew his plan…But he wanted to test it and that is where Kim Possible came in. She would be the ultimate test to see if this cube is successful in taking control of one's mind and if it was, not only would he have the best fighter in the form of Shego…But he would have Kim Possible under his command as well.

And it would only be a matter of time before he tested out the mind altering machine on a much larger scale.

Using the ladder, Drakken grabbed the small cube and placed it into the square slot and shut it and not a second sooner because Shego came running up towards him and said "She and her buffoon have finally made it."

Secret Antarctica Base

Team Possible

"The guards are leaving…" Kim whispered to Ron as they stealthily hid against the wall, peering over the corner as a Henchmen flicked his cigarette into the snow before entering the fortress but before the door could fully close, Kim tossed her back bag in between the door, stopping it from fully closing and with a look towards Ron, the two entered the fortress slowly and looked up to see all of the henchmen walking into the break room that resided upstairs.

"I have to say…" Ron started and with Kim knowing him so long, she knew what he was going to say and quickly covered his mouth. Ron shot her a look of confusion at why she suddenly covered his mouth and she gave a wry grin in response.

"Ron, you know in these types of situations, you can never say "That was pretty easy" because that's when things get worse…" Kim said with a stern look on her face, causing Ron to roll his eyes and take her hand from his mouth.

"Well it was pretty ea-" Whatever he was going to say died in his throat as Kim pushed him forward and back flipped from a green plasma blast, courtesy of Shego.

"For the record…I won't say I told you so," Kim said with a cheeky grin on her face, causing Ron's right brow to twitch lightly in annoyance but the two quickly steeled themselves when she saw Shego opening her mouth.

"Well hello princess, it's about time you got here and it's time for your daily dose of a beating from yours truly!" Shego shouted cockily while pointing at the two young teens.

Kim grinned and faced the emerald beauty and replied "Well if it isn't my arch nemesis. Ready for your all-expense paid ass kicking?"

"With a side of pain and misery!" Ron shouted out, wanting to hype up his partner and this time, Kim smiled at him before smirking at Shego, who was laughing at this.

Shego merely smirked and made a "Bring it" motion with her hands, making Kim grin and almost in unison, the two charged towards each other and leapt when they got close enough, each one trying for a flying kick but Shego's kick succeeding with hers landing on Kim's chin, sending her to the ground but Kim flipped to her feet and swept Shego's feet from under her the moment she landed on the ground.

Shego immediately flipped up and threw a right hook but Kim blocked it with her left arm and aimed a roundhouse kick to Shego's head but Shego ducked it and landed a solid blow to Kim's stomach, sending her staggering back but Kim caught Shego's kick, twisted her body and the side of right foot connected to Shego's face, sending her falling on her side but Shego kicked Kim's stomach and then her face, sending Kim onto her back but after a moment, the two got back on their feet and circled each other.

"I have to say Princess, you've gotten better," Shego complimented the red haired teen in front of her, wiping the blood that was trickling down the corner of her mouth away.

"I have to say Shego, you've gotten better as well…" Kim admitted while rubbing her left cheek. She wasn't lying either. She didn't know what Shego had done during their times not fighting because her hits had a lot more power behind them than before, and that's saying a lot because Shego was fairly strong to begin with.

"Well then…Enough of compliments, let's get to it!" Shego shouted, her hands lighting up with her plasma, instantly putting Kim on her guard.

Ron Stoppable

Ron watched on in worry as Kim and Shego returned to their fighting but he shook his head. Kim would be fine.

She always was.

"I should be more focused in finding Drakken's self-destruct button he installs on his lairs," Ron mumbled to himself as he began to search the normal spots the button would be in because knew that even when Drakken had new lairs, he built them all the same.

Why did a scientist born for world domination do this Ron had no idea but it helped him out a lot more but as he looked, he started to realize, the wires that would come together to the button was nowhere to be seen.

"I think Drakken finally smartened up and at the worst time too," Ron said with shock and annoyance in his voice at the fact that Drakken was getting smarter but then again, he was "Doctor" Drakken for a reason…But what was the reason? Ron shook his head.

He was getting off topic. He had to put his mad ninja skills to work and find another way to take this place down.

Ron ran up the stairs and looked in every room and entered a room with a command center-ish feel to it and that's when Ron noticed that in the middle of all these computers was a button.

A big red button.

A big red button that had "DO NOT TOUCH" sign on it, signaling to Ron one thing.

'A self-destruct button,' Ron thought to himself with a wide goofy grin on his face.

"Well, maybe we gave old Drakken too much credit Rufus old buddy," Ron said to his best friend that was leaning out of his coat pocket, nodding in agreement.

"Mhmm, press, press," Rufus said before hopping out of the cushy pocket and on to the button, making the lights in the area flash red immediately.

"I knew you would play into my hands one day Buffoon…" Ron turned around at this in surprise and saw the smirking Drakken stepping out from an area inside of the walls.

"Drakken…." Ron and Rufus hissed out, seeing the blue skinned man in front of them, the passageway disappearing between the sliding walls behind him.

"What are you still doing here Drakken? You usually escape when your lairs start to crumble," Ron gave a little grin at his own words which were also laced with a small bit of confusion within them but that confusion quickly grew when Drakken began to laugh cockily.

"Foolish Buffoon, do you really think that button was going to make my lair crumble?" Drakken said in amusement while Ron had a seriously confused look on his face but that's when he took in the sounds and the sights.

Usually when he pressed the button, things would start to fall apart but this time…There was nothing. No pieces of the ceiling crashing to the ground, no pillars falling, no sounds of explosions, not sounds of breaking glass. Nothing….

Something wasn't sitting right with Ron and he had a feeling deep down in his stomach that told him this as well.

Kim!

Suddenly, Ron headed to the door but to his shock, two large Henchmen were standing in front of it, completely trapping him inside and not a moment later, Drakken cackled.

"Not this time buffoon!" He heard Drakken yell behind him as the henchmen began to step into the door, making Ron walk back slowly. Things weren't looking so good now but Ron had an ace up his sleeve.

Literally.

"Get 'em Rufus!" At his master and best friend's command, Rufus leapt out from Ron's pocket and onto one of the large henchmen's glasses, completely blinding him.

"Get it off of me! Get it off!" The henchman cried out in alarm, causing the other henchmen to freak out gingerly try and get the naked mole rat off of his friend's face.

Ron saw his chance took a few steps back before running forward and sliding through the Henchmen's spread legs and crawled onto his feet while Rufus crawled away from the man's line of sight and hopped off his shoulder and landing in Ron's hands before the blond boy started to flee.

"Get him!" Ron heard Drakken scream and suddenly, Ron was out running extremely hot lasers that were heading his way, seemingly to make him a crispy snack in the making. 'Jeez…That was in terrible taste,' Ron thought with a sick feeling in his stomach from the rather dark joke that had sprung in his head.

Ron scrambled around the corner to where the stairs downstairs where and skidded to a stop when he saw ten to twenty armed henchmen in his way, all of their weapons pointed in his direction.

Ron was panicking something fierce.

He knew that whatever Drakken had planned, Kim was somehow involved and he had to save her so with a grab of the railing next to him, Ron pulled it and flung himself off of it railing and into the air much to everyone's shock.

Ron twisted his body in air and crashed into a bunch of discarded boxes on his back and slowly crawled out from out of it, in pain from the impacted of his fall but once again, it could've been worse had he not worn his coat which absorbed most of the impact.

Ron rolled to his stomach and through the haze of pain, he saw the large red and black laser beam shooting down to the ground with a container under it and saw Shego getting Kim closer to it.

"Oh no…." Ron whispered in horror before he scrambled to his feet and charged forward but as he continued to run forward, the sounds of lasers hitting the ground all around him became apparent but then, he was suddenly flung to the side as a laser hit him in his side, luckily for him, Rufus wasn't on that side and even luckier, the coat once again saved him from getting seriously wounded.

Ron saw that Kim had taken her eyes off her opponent at his shriek and was immediately punished for her distraction by a ruthless punch from Shego, which made Kim stumble back even closer to the laser and that's when Ron got to his feet and sped over there, doing everything he could to get to Kim before whatever Drakken was planning could work out.

Kim Possible

"Come on Princess, are you tired already? Don't tell me you've given up!" Shego said with an amused grin on her face as Kim wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, her breath coming out ragged.

Since their fight had started, Kim and Shego had been evenly tied but the moment she had taken her eyes off of Shego to see Ron tossed to the side thanks to a laser hitting him, she was immediately and brutally forced to pay attention and now, Shego was in control.

Kim held her side while blood trickled down the left corner of her mouth, parts of her black shirt and green cargo torn in several places and blood falling down the right side of her head.

She didn't need anyone to say it.

She looked beaten but she wasn't out.

"Well kitten, looks like this is the end," Shego said with a wide grin after landing a brutal axe kick to Kim's shoulder, sending the girl to her knees on the ground.

Kim looked up at the face of the smirking Shego and scowled heavily, her face red with anger as Shego stood above her, victorious. Shego knew that prolonging her victory would end up with Kim counterattacking so with a quick "See you on the other side," Shego lifted her right leg and aimed the kick that would effectively not only end their rivalry but would start the princess' start into darkness…

But when Shego forced her right leg into a kick aimed at Kim's face, there was a flash of red going to the floor and a mop of dirty blond hair that filled her vision before it was whipped back into the container and that was when the screams of torture had begun.

Shego hadn't even realized what happened at first.

Everything had moved so fast but as she looked into the container and saw Ron screaming in agony, it was at that moment that Shego started to realize what happened.

The idiot, the loser, the pathetic Ron Stoppable had taken her kick instead of Kim and now he was in that mind altering laser and now he was screaming in pure agony as the sky blue energy filled the container.

"Ron!" Kim screamed out in panic when she heard his screams of pain and quickly moved to her feet to try and open the container and when she didn't, Kim began to kick at it repeatedly but nothing was working! Luckily, the sounds of helicopters were heard from a distance and everyone in the area's heads snapped up.

"It's Global Justice!" A henchman screamed out and suddenly, everyone was scrambling to get out of there.

Hearing this announcement, Drakken yelled "Shego, get the cube!" Shego nodded and leapt over the panicking Kim and forcibly shut down the machine by slicing through the power cord with her energy covered hand and with a pull, Shego yanked out the cube and tossed it to Drakken who was riding in their hover car.

Shego leapt up into the car as Drakken put the cube within the thick silver briefcase and yelled "Until next time, Kim possible!" before the two flew out of a large overhead entrance of their lair.

Kim scowled but her attention was turned to her now unconscious best friend in the container.

"Hold on Ron!" Kim screamed out as she reached into her pocket and picked up her laser lipstick and burned the thick glass into a circular shape until the shape of a large hole was in the glass.

With three hard kicks, the container finally gave way and broke half way, leaving the lifeless Ron to fall forward, only for Kim to catch him and pull his limp body out the container and out of his pocket, and unconscious Rufus fell out his pocket lifelessly but still alive.

"Rufus…" Kim sighed out sadly as she picked up the naked mole rat and held him close, the noise of helicopters where right outside of the lair and the moment GJ's agents came pouring in, a battered Kim Possible and her unconscious sidekick was what awaited them.

After the agents fixed up Kim, she watched helplessly as they loaded up the unconscious Ron into the Medi-copter before she got into the copter herself and together, the battered Team Possible headed back to Middleton, all while Ron and Rufus tossed, turned and screamed in pain from whatever had happened to them, causing the immense guilt to continue to form in her heart.

'Ron…Rufus…Please be ok?'

Middleton Hospital

Two Weeks Later

It had been two weeks since Team Possible's ill-fated mission to stop Drakken and the weird duo of Ron and Rufus had still not awakened from their pain induced coma and by this time, the hospital room where the two were sleeping were filled with countless gifts, flowers and cards from his various classmates and even Barkin but the main people that came to visit him daily was not only his own family and the Possible clan was one Middleton cheerleader known as Tara Hardy and her best friend, Bonnie Rockwaller.

She had been in Ron and Rufus' room just as much as Kim had during his unconsciousness but everyone knew why she visited the unconscious sidekick so much.

Tara had an insane crush on the Stoppable teen but to her dismay, her crush didn't know of her feelings and while people knew she liked him, no one knew she often watched him in the shadows. She felt like Hyūga Hinata from that Manga she secretly read, Naruto.

Like Hinata viewed Naruto, Ron was her knight in shining armor, someone she admired, someone she could relate too, someone she wished she could be at times but like Naruto, Ron didn't notice her affections but the good part was that at least they were friends.

It was amazing how life imitated art sometimes.

So there she sat, spending another day by his side while a certain blue eyed, brunette, dark skinned cheerleader named Bonnie Rockwaller.

While Tara cared about Ron, Bonnie could care less about the dork on the bed but she knew very well that despite how she felt about the loser, Tara was her best friend since Pre-K and she would stay by her side no matter what. She may have been on top of the food chain but she would disown it in a moment for her friend so to Bonnie, visiting Ron was no biggie.

"Tara, we should get going. Cheer practice starts in an hour and I'm tired of seeing Kim's smug look when we come in late so let's leave this loser and get back to school," Bonnie complained harshly but Tara knew what she was trying to do.

Despite her friend's harsh words, Tara knew Bonnie wanted to make sure her friend got her out of the hospital room long enough for her to enjoy her life instead of wasting it within this room, waiting for her crush to wake up.

So with a sad sigh, Tara stood up and rose up from the chair but before she left, she would do what she always did before she would leave him. She would lean down and press a shy kiss on his forehead before wiping the lipstick off with a napkin to leave no evidence and after that, the two had left, not noticing Ron's eyes close tighter and a groan leaving his lips.

Outside Middleton Hospital

"I'm telling you Tara, the more time you spend with him, the more I'm starting to think you have more than a crush on him," Bonnie commented with a little smirk on her face when her friend's pale cheeks lit up with a blush.

Tara shook her head side to side in a fast motion while rapidly saying "No," but Bonnie knew when her friend was lying and was going to comment on it when the two girls bumped into Kim, causing the three of them to fall to the ground with a crash.

"Way to not be clumsy, Possible," Bonnie growled out while standing up off the ground and rubbing her butt lightly but internally, she was a bit surprised. Kim would usually be at the gym waiting for them and yet here she was, with a bundle of flowers, no doubt for her comatose friend.

Kim frowned and stood up before helping Tara off the ground before dusting herself off, saying "Well excuse me for walking. You guys just got through seeing Ron?"

"Well we weren't here to visit anyone else," Bonnie retorted nastily with a scowl on her face, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. Why did Possible have to show up and state the obvious so much? She should have known the two of them were here to visit the only person they knew in the entire damn place.

Tara nodded with a small frown on her face and replied "Be nice Bonnie…She was only asking a question." But truth be told, she couldn't help but be a little angry with the teen heroine herself.

Kim was supposed to have Ron's back during the mission and vice versa so for Ron to be in this place showed them that Kim did not have his back while he had hers but perhaps Tara was being a little unfair to Kim. She was obviously hurting over her friend being hurt but it still didn't make it easier for Tara to understand why Kim couldn't help him.

Kim leaned down and picked up her flowers and dusted them off and gave a small frown before whispering "Sorry for bumping into you guys…I'll see you at cheer practice later." And with that, Kim walked into the hospital, with a frowning Bonnie and Tara watching her enter the hospital.

Kim Possible

As the door opened, Kim found her awfully pale friend resting in the middle of his hospital bed and felt her frown deepen. It was her fault. It was her fault he was sitting in this bed in a coma.

She was supposed to be his partner. She was supposed to have his back and yet she wasn't quick enough to save him from that damn machine. She clenched the flowers in her hands as tears began to well up in her eyes.

Ever since that day, she could not get his screams of agony as he was being tortured in that thing out of her head. It invaded her mind at all times during the day but it was really more jarring when she was with him.

"R-Ron, I'm falling apart without you and Rufus here…I need my best friends back…Please w-wake up…" Kim whispered as tears freely flowed from her eyes and down her cheeks.

"Please…" Kim begged, any semblance of calm quickly shattering as tears began to fall down her cheeks faster, her head lowered while she squeezed the flowers harder which caused the thorns to cut through her hand, making them start to bleed.

"I just want you back…Please come back to me," Kim whispered while staring at the face of her best friend.

But little did she know…Ron would come back to her and nothing would ever be the same.

Ron-Pool: So…A few changes already in. I'm glad to see that is good.

Loki: Well of course. Already setting up a story arc here. So now we sit and relax…Well you sit and relax. Me and Darcy will be watching "Star Wars" whatever that will entail so until next time Midgardians.

Ron-Pool: Deuces!