So this was actually a challenge issued by a real life friend. Since I'm pretty well versed in writing Fem! variants of male protagonists and I actually enjoyed the first season of SAO why not try and create a different flavor of Kirito.

Now SAO has become a polarizing topic, either you're in the camp of 'Kirito is Jesus-kun' or you're with 'And who is the self insert hero adding to his harem this week?'. I admit, after season two, I leaned towards the latter and lost interest in the show.

So I figured, what's anti-harem material for a setting like this? Well simple, a straight female lead, will it stay that way? Hell if I know, this might just end up being a one shot, I couldn't sleep and this happened.

So enjoy this Fem!Kirito tale, and please remember with the changed sex she isn't going to have all of male Kirito's social issues and personality quirks...she'll have her own wonderful neurosis to deal with. The first chapter is entirely from Klein's perspective, and if there is to be a chapter two it will be from Kirito's. As always, hope you enjoy and please review!

EDIT-Shit, right, I directly quoted alot of Kayaba's speech but not all of it and there's a direct reference to the hilarious SAO Abridged from Klein, ok...I think that's it...

Tsuboi Ryōtarō stared at the character hovering before him mulling over what to name his avatar, eventually he just shrugged and chose 'Klein'. Hitting 'Create Avatar' he couldn't help letting out a whoop as he sped past a kaleidoscope of colors before everything went dark.

Shaking his head he opened his eyes and muttered, "Whoa," as he took in his first sight of the starting city of Aincrad, and much to his embarrassment he couldn't help pumping his fist into the air whilst cheering. Glancing about the red haired man sighed in relief as he realized most people were reacting in a similar manner, lightly coughing into his hand he wandered over to a vendor to take a look at the weapons offered.

He was contemplating on grabbing a starting katana, wanting very much to role play a wandering ronin when a tall man that looked scruffy and a bit disreputable approached him.

"Word of advice, don't buy any of that 'Grey' quality crap this early in the game, I guarantee you'll loot something better off the boars outside the city after a few hours of grinding."

Klein took in the young man before throwing him a lopsided grin, "You wouldn't happen to be trying to draw me out of a safe zone to gank me would you?"

The dark haired man blinked a few times then broke out laughing, "Haha! For real? PvP at level one? I mean yeah it could be fun a few times around spamming our two attacks, but I think I'd be better off grinding XP before the crowds get bored with staring at all the shineys and scour the area clean."

Klein snorted at that before pausing, "Say, you were in the beta test weren't you? Otherwise you wouldn't have known this starter gear was useless. I'm Klein by the way, would you mind giving me a few pointers?"

The man rolled his eyes as he accepted Klein's handshake, "So much for being wary of gankers, and yeah I was in the beta test. Name's Kirito, and sure I suppose it isn't that big of a deal, follow me."

As Kirito led Klein out of the city he pointed at roaming packs of blue furred red-eyed boars. "See those guys? They're none aggressive NPC's, hit them once and they'll aggro on you, otherwise they're harmless."

Klein nodded as he drew his short sword, "Right so pretty much like any other MMORPG starting area then." Kirito hummed his agreement as Klein charged one of the boars slashing it with his sword, jumping a few steps back he brandished the blade before him while yelling, "HA! Now you're facing the legendary-FUCK!" With a gasp Klein went flying backwards as the boar charged him directly in the crotch. Falling flat on his ass he began rolling around on the ground moaning in pain the entire time.

Eventually Kirito rolled his eyes for what felt like the tenth time today while giving Klein a gentle kick, "Come on man you can't feel pain in this game, quit playing up the drama and get back up cause seriously, you were just bested by a pig."

Grumbling Klein took to his feet while shooting the boar in question an anger laced glare, "No need to be a dick about it. Getting kicked in the balls hurts like nothing else, it's just an automatic reaction to groan in agony when it happens. You should know that, ugh... So how do I not suck at this?"

Kirito shuffled uncomfortably a moment before speaking, "Right, totally know how that goes, and it sucks... anyway you need to do an initial skill motion. Think of it as a hotkey or a macro combo, start the initial attack motion and pause, you'll feel it activate and as long as you're staring at your target you'll always hit it. Well, unless they have a saving roll but that's not something we need to worry about now."

Klein nodded and approached the 'Demon Pig' as he had dubbed it before slashing his sword forward and briefly paused the motion, a moment later his blade glowed red and he charged the boar. As the creature vanished in a cascade of bright colors he received an info box explaining all the XP, Col, and Items he'd received.

Klein cheered happily as Kirito let out an amused laugh, "Well done, give it a few more goes it's best to let it become second nature." Klein did just that, as he practiced Kirito explained how leveling gained you new attacks and about the non-combat skills like tailoring and blacksmithing. It was when he mentioned the game had no magic that Klein stopped prancing around like a fool to shoot his companion a confused look.

"A fantasy RPG without magic? That's...ballsy I suppose, weird though."

Kirito shrugged and motioned for Klein to follow him towards a largish group of boars as he replied, "I'd agree with you but keep in mind how this is the first Full Dive RPG available to the general public. They're probably saving it for the sequel."

Klein snorted, "Or DLC, I hate it when they do that."

Kirito laughed in turn, "Tell me about it, why I usually hold off on buying new games for a month or two, SAO was simply an exception to my rule."

As they spent most of the afternoon slaughtering the local wildlife the sun began to set and Kirito paused their campaign of porcine genocide to stare out at the orange and gold sky.

Klein plopped down on the ground next to him sighing as he took in the skyline, "Beautiful, it's hard to believe it's just a game you know?"

Kirito smiled sadly at that before nodding, "Yeah, spent nearly every free moment in the beta logged in. My sister was pretty upset with me for skipping so many kendo lessons since apparently 'But this is SAO!' wasn't a good excuse. She didn't understand, just called it a stupid game and made me promise I'd make up for it. Which I did and all buuut looks like we're back to square one now."

Klein's eyebrows rose at this, "Sister eh? She single?" Kirito shot him a withering glare that had Klein scratching the back of his head sheepishly, for the thirty-seventh time since meeting the redhead Kirito simply rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Klein she's thirteen," the man blanched turning a bit green causing Kirito to giggle, Klein ignored that oddity as he shook his head in denial.

"Oh god man I am so sorry, I'm so not a lolicon for real." He paused a moment looking contemplative before continuing, "Wait if your sister is thirteen how old are you?" Kirito coughed and mumbled causing Klein to quirk a single brow, he was secretly very pleased with this since he couldn't actually pull that off in the real world. "I didn't catch that Kirito."

The man in question sighed in exasperation as he threw his hands in the air, "I'm still in high school, can we just leave it at that?"

Klein laughed good naturedly as he sat up off the ground, "Of course man, you forget that I nearly hit on your jail bait sister and I'll forget that a kid completely schooled me at this game."

"Not a kid..." Kirito muttered before he coughed once again, "Right, anyway you wanna get going? Plenty more innocent critters begging for a short and painful death out there."

Klein snorted at Kirito's attempt to change the subject before letting out a dejected sigh, "I'd love to man really. Unfortunately I kinda skipped lunch and I'm getting pretty hungry."

Kirito 'hmmd' at that, "Yeah, pity eating in the game only makes you think you aren't hungry, the real world is such an inconvenience."

"Too true," Klein agreed. "Luckily I had the forethought to order a pizza to be delivered at 5:30, so I can pretty much chow down and be logged back on in a half hour."

"Damn I should have thought of that," Kirito muttered under his breath, "Moms probably not home yet and Suguha's cooking was banned under the Geneva Conventions..."

Klein just shook his head as he patted Kirito's shoulder, "So hey after I eat I'm hooking up with a few friends from another game and actually attempting to make some headway with them. I'll look like the big man on campus because of your help so I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you came along. That is if you want to?"

Kirito furrowed his brow a bit before shrugging, "Couldn't hurt I suppose. While we'd take a bit of an XP cut in a group we could definitely complete quests faster, and with the crap refresh rate after completion it would probably be a benefit."

"Sweet!" Klein stated while sending Kirito a friend request, accepting it they fist bumped and Klein opened the logout menu. Frowning he worried his lip before turning back to his new friend, "Err...Kirito, I can't log out..."

Kirito's expression basically screamed, 'Really?'

Sighing Klein gestured towards his screen, "I mean there isn't a logout icon, don't look at me like I'm a freaking noob. Inexperienced with NerveGear, not retarded."

Looking curious himself Kirito opened his own menu and after a moment his brow furrowed in confusion, "Well...that isn't right..." Klein rolled his eyes as he grabbed the sides of his head jerking his hands up, Kirito watched his antics for a solid thirty seconds before letting out a weary sigh. "What exactly are you trying to do?

"Remove the NerveGear obviously, it's 5:25 and the Game Moderators aren't responding to my reports sooo..."

Kirito tilted his head to the side slightly, "You really didn't research the equipment very well did you? It disables motor functions, my money is on it being a way to deny liability if some moron wanders off a flight of stairs...still I wonder what's going on? Nothing like this ever happened in the beta and trust me, it could get pretty buggy in the beginning."

Klein was about to respond when they were surrounded by glowing blue lights and suddenly found themselves back in the starting city, looking about in confusion he turned to Kirito who looked equally perplexed.

"Oh I have a bad feeling about this..." Kirito groaned out, a moment later the sky broke apart into countless glowing red hexagons...then it began bleeding.

"Kirito...next time you feel the urge to say that, please keep it to yourself."

"...Roger that..."

As the blood coalesced into a giant robed figure the grand majority of the gathered players simply stood their in shocked silence.

"Attention, players, I welcome you to My world. My name is Akihiko Kayaba and as of this moment I am the only person able to control this world"

"Ah...crap..." Kirito muttered, Klein patted the younger player on the shoulder reassuringly as the figure continued speaking.

"I'm sure you've already noticed that the logout button is missing from your main menu. Let me reassure you, this is not a defect in the game."

"Not reassuring at all, actually," Kirito muttered starting to panic. Klein didn't blame him in the slightest, he'd seen plenty of science fiction movies that had a similar premise, and they never ended well for anyone involved.

"Let me repeat, this is not a defect in the game," Kayaba continued. "This is actually a feature of Sword Art Online, you can no longer logout on your own free will."

Kirito let out a slight whimper that had Klein's brows raise a bit but he said nothing to the young man as he tuned back into what was hopefully a tasteless prank hovering above them.

"Nor can anyone else allow you to escape, and if they try to remove the NerveGear, a microwave transmitter inside the Gear will fry your brain."

Panic was setting in around them, Klein turned to Kirito taking in his friends panicked visage, "He's...he's full of it right? That can't really happen, can it?"

Kirito turned to Klein and met his gaze evenly, "Yes, it can, the NerveGear functions by sending out microwave signals to your brain, they're harmless with the safety on...with the safety off..."

Klein turned back to the hooded figure while hissing out, "Fuck."

"Despite my warning the friends and families of several players have attempted to remove the NerveGear, an unfortunate decision to say the least. As a result, the game now has 213 less players then it did before."

Kirito had switched from morose panic to fiery rage at that, "That sick bastard arranged for family and friends to kill their loved ones?! Oh...oh you mother..." Klein gulped a bit at that, suddenly very glad he was a bachelor that lived alone.

The madman went into depth about the news coverage, the very real deaths, and the likelihood of anyone trying to remove further NerveGear units being quite small, when he finally got to the crux of the matter.

"There is no longer a recovery system in the game, if your HP drops to zero your avatar will be deleted from the system permanently, and soon after your NerveGear will kill your brain."

"If I were physically capable of it at the moment I do believe I'd probably be throwing up right now," Kirito muttered.

"There is only one way to escape now, you must clear the game," Klein was drawn from his petrified shock at that declaration, beat an MMORPG? Really? Could you even do that? Once again Kayaba went into detail about how they were currently on level one and had to work their way up to level one hundred to clear the game.

No problem...Kirito and the other beta testers only took three months to make it to Floor Eight...They were so screwed...

"Last but not least, I placed a little present in the item storage of every player, take a look." Almost as if they were collectively hypnotized the gathered players did just that. Klein once again performed a nifty single eyebrow raise as he looked at the item labeled 'Mirror' and tapped it.

Staring at the small mirror that landed in his hand Klein gazed into it, his reflection looking rather unimpressed when he was enveloped in a blue light. He clearly heard Kirito yell out to him in fear but just as quickly as it appeared the light faded.

Shaking his head he approached Kirito who was currently turned away from him, oddly enough his hair now fell to the middle of his back and he was an awful lot shorter then he was before. Dropping a hand to his friends shoulder he shook him gently, "Hey Kirito are you all right?"

To his complete and utter shock a pretty teenage girl turned to stare up at him, she seemed to be confused for a few moments before focusing in on his red headband.

"Klein?" She asked in confusion, he gladly returned the favor.

"Kirito? You're a girl!?" The man...woman...teenage girl that he'd spent the better part of the day hanging out with let her shoulders slump.

"Oh hell...Suguha is going to kill me..."

I'm sure there is typos, but Nem is now very tired, nighters all, please review if you want more.