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Humon?

-Chapter 35-

-Last Time-

Naruto sighed in annoyance while pinching the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to stave off the coming headache. "Why does the universe love to fuck with me?"

"Yeah, I thought that was Mimi's job." Gomamon said with a coy grin.

*THWACK!*

…

"…Worth it."

-And Now-

"Okay, so just to be clear, the last crest we need and some guy begging for our help are somewhere within this pyramid thing, which just so happens to be Etemon's main base of operations," Naruto started as he and Izzy stood in the middle of the cavern with the rest of the group circled around them, the former pacing back and forth while the latter used some weird techno-BS to make a projection of Etemon's base appear in the air. "And assuming this isn't one huge elaborate trap… again, we have to somehow break in there, find both the crest and our mystery guy, and get the hell out of dodge before that annoying monkey realizes what we're up to. Did I miss anything?"

"The part where Etemon himself showed up a little while ago." Biyomon said in with a raised wing.

"That was a rhetorical question Biyomon."

"Oh, right, sorry."

"In all seriousness though, we need to come up with a plan of attack… or retreat… a plan for something." Naruto said unsurely, massaging the side of his head as he struggled to figure out the group's best course of action.

"Well duh, we storm in there, kick Etemon's butt, and get that crest." Tai said eagerly with Agumon cheering in agreement. "We finally have the drop on this guy instead of the other way around and we outnumber fifteen to one."

"More like fifteen to a hundred, we have no idea how many other goons could be hiding in that place," Joe stated pessimistically while wrapping some bandages around Gomamon's head, the seal digimon completely out cold on his lap with a growing lump on his noggin. "And win? We barely managed to get away from that guy by the skin of our teeth last time we faced him and you wanna try jumping him at his own place? I'm pretty sure jumping off a cliff would be considered less suicidal."

"Yeah, as much as I'd rather not agree with constant doom and gloom here, he has a point. Etemon has the homefield advantage," Matt said with a nod, instinctively standing slightly in front of his brother protectively. "And even if we waited for him to leave, I doubt he'll just leave the place totally unprotected."

"Who knows what kind of sick twisted surprises he's probably got lying around for unwanted guests," Sora chipped in, shivering as her mind pictured all sorts of dangerous traps and evil digimon that wanted to tear them apart. "We need to know what we're walking into before we… well walk into it."

"Good point," Naruto said, getting the groups full attention again as he stopped pacing. "Izzy, can you see if you can find a map or something like that of this place?"

"Already done," Izzy stated while typing something into his computer, causing the image of the pyramid to change into a full 3D model with various rooms and hallways highlighted. "The ship had some old blueprints of this place that I used to create this map. It's not much, but we have a basic idea where most everything is… I think."

"…You think?" Sora asked with a raised brow.

"Like I said, the blueprints were old, so statistically speaking there's a high chance that they aren't entirely accurate anymore," The computer whizz explained as he kept typing at his computer, highlighting a few different sections. "And that's assuming they are accurate to begin with, since for all we know Etemon planted those files for me to find to lull us into-

"So we'd still be going in blind basically, got it," Naruto cut in before Izzy could get caught up in one of his long drawn out explanations, the whiskered blonde pacing back and forth once more as he rubbed his chin in thought. After a minute or so though, his lips suddenly curled into a smile as he cracked his knuckles and neck dramatically. "Alright, I know what we're going to do."

-The Next Day, Inverted Pyramid-

"Uuuuugh, this is so boring," A Gazimon groaned out as he stood by the main entrance, idly tapping his claws against the wall as he enjoyed the riveting sight of sand, sand, and oh even MORE sand. "Stupid door duty, why do I even need to be here? It's not like anyone in their right mind would ever dare mess with Lord Etemon."

"Oh really? Are you sure about that?" Naruto asked while leaning against the wall next to the evil rabbit jackal digimon, getting a nod in response.

"Of course, it would be completely crazy… for… someone…" The Gazimon started to answer like it was the most obvious thing ever, only to trail off once his brain registered who asked the question. "Wait, whe-"

The digimon was cut off by a chop to the throat that caused him to choke and stumble back, swiftly followed up with a punch to the stomach that sent him crumbling to the floor in a heap completely out cold.

"I have been told I'm a few cards short of a full deck," Naruto quipped while rolling his shoulders and doing a few stretches, before smirking as he pulled out several improvised explosive tags, a wrench, and a can of paint. "Now, let's see what that dumb monkey thinks of this."

A few minutes later, the whiskered blonde was hauling ass as several explosions rocked the entire pyramid, blasting entire chunks of rock away while simultaneously spraying neon orange paint all over.

"Hey!? What in tarnation is going on!?" And not even five seconds after that, one very shocked and annoyed Etemon came bursting out, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist and a silly shower cap on his head.

The moment his eyes fell upon the devastation, his face contorted into one of pure shock and anger as he dropped his towel. That rage only grew once he saw that his trailer had been completely taken apart and what was left of it covered in some of the most offensive graffiti he'd ever laid his eyes on. "What the-Who did this!?"

"Who else you tone deaf rock wannabe!?" Naruto called back from atop a sand dune a few hundred yards away in his Teumesemon form, flipping the dark digimon the bird with both hands as he sat atop the equally ruined faceplate of Etemon's trailer.

The instant he saw this, Etemon's face turned pure red and several veins bulged all over his forehead, his whole body trembling with barely suppressed rage. "You."

"Yep, me," The blonde said with a smirk, idly twirling a grease covered wrench before stabbing it into the faceplate's eye. "What's wrong? Don't like the new paint job? I even did it free of charge."

"…Dark Network!"

*BOOM*

"Huh, guess not," Naruto said with a mocking sigh as he landed atop another dune, the one he'd been standing on previously blown to smithereens. Seeing the orange monkey getting ready to fire again, the foxified teen got into a ready position as his fist ignited in etheric flame. "Alright then, let's rock and roll shall we?"

"That's my line you little punk!" Etemon roared while charging, never once noticing Izzy, Tai, Sora, and their respective digimon sneaking along behind him into the pyramid.

-(`~Unfortunately Necessary Exposition~`) -

"I'll act as the diversion, with our history and some creative pranks from yours truly Etemon should be to blind to notice anything else," Naruto explained, "Then Izzy, while I have his attention, you'll sneak in with Tai and Sora."

"You got it!" Tai said eagerly while Sora nodded nervously and Izzy gave the blonde a curious look.

"May I ask why us specifically? And also what everyone else will be doing?"

"Simple, you got the map and tech knowhow, Sora has the crest, and Tai's the extra muscle just in case," The whiskered blonde explained while pointing to each of them, before gesturing to the rest of the group. "Everyone else will be waiting here as the back-up, in case something goes wrong and we need someone to pull our asses out of the fire."

"Which given our history, it probably will." Joe stated pessimistically.

-(`~~`)-

"Sheesh, this Etemon sure likes using Gazimon as henchmen, huh?" Biyomon said as she and Tentomon threw a bunch of said knocked out digimon into a closet before Agumon melted the door shut. "It's like he gets them in bulk or something."

"From where, Goons-R-Us?" Sora asked jokingly from across the room along with Tai and Izzy, the latter of which had hooked his computer up to the security system.

"Villain Henchmen Surplus actually," The computer whizz answered completely seriously as he typed away at high speed, not noticing the baffled expressions he got from everyone else as he tapped his ear. "I'm in Naruto, but there's way more data than I was expecting-"

-Outside-

"-it's gonna take a while to sieve through all these files."

'Fantastic,' Naruto thought to himself as he narrowly dodged punch to the gut, and responded with a elbow that sent Etemon stumbling back a few steps allowing the blonde to get some distance while creating a few clones, each fanning out their flaming tails. 'This guy's not pulling his punches this time.' "Shigo no ryūsei-gun!"

"Yeowch! That is hot! Hot! Hot! And not in the good way!" The Rock n Roll ape yelped in pain, before inhaling deeply. "DAAAAARK~ MUSICAL~! YEAH~!"

"AAAGH!" Naruto howled out as Etemon started singing very loudly and VERY terribly, creating a concussive blast of sound that sent him while dispersing all the flames and his clones. Crashing into a nearby dune, Naruto shook his ringing head with a groan before rolling to the side with a yelp as an orange fist smashed into the sand beneath him. 'Well Naruto, congratulations, this dumbass plan is probably what finally gets you killed!'

-(`~UNE~`)-

"We'll stay in contact with these." Naruto said while unsealing a couple of earpiece radios.

"That's oddly convenient." Izzy couldn't help but say while accepting one of the devices.

"Nah, Kakashi-sensei made me and my teammates carry a set each just in case," Naruto said with a wave of his hand while putting one in his own ear. "Your guy's first priority is hacking into Etemon's network, I bet you it'll be way faster than wandering around blindly looking for the crest and our mystery prisoner. And if my hunch is right, it might possibly be how we beat Etemon."

"And what makes you say that?" Matt asked with a raised brow.

"Well duh, think about when Etemon first attacked us, he clearly draws strength from his Dark Network, so if Izzy hacks into it-"

"I can either interface with the system directly and crash the entire network or locate its main server so we can trash it, which in theory should drastically weaken our simian singer." Izzy cut Naruto off as the metaphoric lightbulb lit up in his brain.

-(`~~`)-

"Eureka! I got it!" Izzy exclaimed as his computer screen changed to show the map of the pyramid again, only this time with one of the rooms flashing green. "I found the main server Naruto! And even better yet, our mystery prisoner is in the same room! According to this his name is Datamon and he is the main server, Etemon has been forcing him to-"

"Now's not the time for exposition Izzy, let's go," Tentomon cut the computer whizz off, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the door. "We're on a deadline here, remember?"

Confused for a moment, Izzy was swiftly reminded of the present situation as a distant rumble shook the place, causing dust and a few flakes of stone to crumble off the walls.

"Oh right, right, sorry," Izzy said while quickly grabbing his computer and taking the lead as the group headed further into the pyramid. "Naruto we're on our way to the main server, ETA two minutes."

-Outside-

"Just keep him busy a bit longer."

'Easier said… than done…' Naruto thought to himself, sweat pouring from his brow that had nothing to do with the heat for once while his body was covered in various scuffs and bruises. Not only that, but various parts of his fur and skin now had sickly looking black and purple streaks running along it, showing the growing amount of dark data his body was starting to absorb from the ape digimon's attacks. Across from him stood an equally battered and very annoyed looking Etemon, the orange ape idly adjusting his sunglasses as he glared at the whiskered blonde. "I'll admit, you are one tough son of a bitch. This has got to be one of the hardest fights I've ever been in."

"The same to you, which will make it all the more satisfying when I tear you to byte sized pieces uh-huh." The Rock-n-Roll digimon stated while cracking his knuckles.

"…Why do I have the feeling you just told a terrible pun than almost nobody's going to get?" Naruto asked with a quirked brow, before quickly raising his arms to block a punch that caused him to skid back several feet. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Just shut up and die already." Etemon growled while going for another punch, only for the whiskered blonde to slip to the side at the last second, causing him to overextend and leaving him wide open to the kick to the back that sent him sprawling face first into a sand dune.

"Kitsune no sōgi!" Naruto then promptly sent him THROUGH said sand dune with a powerful smack of his tails, before seemingly teleporting in front of the airborne ape and slammed a flaming fist into his face that sent him flying in another direction. Zipping across the area at high speed, this happened twice more before the blonde punted Etemon straight up with a rising kick, grabbing his face and slamming him into the ground with a blast so hot it instantly seared the surrounding sand into glass. "Kitsunebi konbo (Fox Fire Combo)."

Landing at the very edge of the crater himself, Naruto had all of one second to take in his handywork before being forced to bend almost a full ninety degrees backwards as a huge chunk of hot glass flew over him. Snapping back up right away, the blonde had only just enough time to block the follow up punch aimed for his face, curtesy of a glass covered Etemon.

"Taste my Monkey Kick!"

"Guh!?" Unfortunately, that left him unable to see the incoming knee that slammed into his gut, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

"Yeah-huh, now for seconds! A Grateful Knuckle sandwich!" The orange ape proclaimed while slugging Naruto with a rising uppercut that sent the blonde straight up. "And lastly dessert, Dark Net-"

"Mubōna honō (Reckless Flame)!" Naruto cut the digimon off as a massive blast of spirit fire erupted from his body, engulfing the whole area in an instant. When it cleared, it revealed a massive crater of new glass.

*Crackle* *Ssssss* "…Owww…" Which was promptly broken by Naruto when he crashed into the ground face first.

Peeling himself off the ground with a hiss, the blistered blonde groaned softly before shaking his head to clear the cobwebs in his mind and looking around until his eyes settled on a familiar singing simian.

"Oh ho ho, that was an interesting little trick of yours," Etemon said as he patted out a flame burning on his shoulder, his previous blind rage replaced with begrudging angry respect. "But it'll take more than some fancy fireworks to bring me down, uh-huh."

"Figured as much," Naruto muttered as he got back to his feet, albeit a bit unsteadily, and got into a ready stance again. 'Please hurry up guys, I don't think I can keep this up much longer.'

-Inside-

"Are you kidding me?" Biyomon groaned as she and the rest of the group stood before a menacing wall of metal bars sparking with electricity. "How many of these stupid firewalls does this guy have?"

Typing away at his laptop as he glanced from it to the wall and back again repeatedly, Izzy's brow furrowed in concentration and a light bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. "This should be the last one, just give me a moment to find the entrance point and-"

"Found it!" Tai cut in as he reached towards a random part of the barrier, his hand passing clean through. "Come on guys, let's go!"

"And disable the silent alarm that you just set off thus blowing our cover." Izzy finished dryly, causing the older boy to freeze halfway through the barrier.

"Guys! Get the hell out of there now! The jig is up!" Naruto's voice crackled over the earpieces, making the whole group gulp before they all glared at a nervously sweating Tai.

"…Oops."

-Back outside, a minute ago-

"Yeah-huh~!" "Take this!" Etemon and Naruto exclaimed in near perfect sync as their fists slammed against each-other, before both sides started throwing fast flurry of blows, their arms nothing more than blurs of motion flying that were followed by what felt and sounded like rapid fire cannon shots as each strike landed. The sheer force behind each impact whipped up gale force winds and shattering the glass beneath their feet, the ground gradually yet steadily cratering deeper and deeper ever second.

"Guh!" Just as abruptly the exchange came to an end, Naruto mistiming a block by a split second and paying for it with a blow to the gut that sent him tumbling back. This time though, the blonde only needed but a moment to flip back to his feet and recover, skidding to a stop just a few feet away as he got ready to counter any follow up.

However, to his surprise and confusion, Etemon was still in the same place, only now he was fiddling with the Monzaemon doll on his waist with a deep frown.

"Well well, aint that just great? Seems I got even more unwanted guests poking around where they don't belong," He grumbled to himself, not noticing how Naruto froze when he said this. "Excuse me but I have to go deal with this real quick."

Without waiting for a response, the orange ape bolted towards his base at high speed, leaving the whiskered blonde in his dust.

"Kuso!" He swore before chasing after the dark digimon while all but slamming the button down on his earpiece. "Guys! Get the hell out of there now! The jig is up!"

Not getting a reply, the half-fox boy swore again and ramped up his speed to the max, slamming right into Etemon's back just as the Rock n Roll wannabe reached the entrance of the pyramid and smashign him through the nearest wall with their combined inertia.

"Where the hell you going bastard?! Trying to wimp out of our fight again?!" Naruto yelled in faux anger, had to stick to character after all, before grunting in pain when Etemon kicked him off hard. Crashing back outside in the sand, the whiskered blonde once more flipped back to his feet before ducking under a blast of dark energy that obliterated a dune behind him. "What's wrong, to cowardly to admit you're losing and have to come up with some cheap excuse to run home to your mama?"

Growling lowly, Etemon looked oh so tempted to give into his rage and continue attacking, but suddenly seemed to calm down after a moment and instead smirked knowingly. "Oh you are asking for it sonny, but I really do have some other things to take care of right now. So why don't I leave you with some playmates to keep you entertained while I'm busy?"

"Playmates?" Naruto repeated in confusion, which only made Etemon chuckle before the ape digimon clapped his hands, causing the ground to start rumbling. Immediately on edge, the foxy ninja jumped back just as several holes opened up in the sandy ground, revealing one hidden staircases from which a plethora of Monochromon, Gazimon, and huge hulking dino digimon the blonde hadn't seen before came stomping out. "Ooooooh fuck."

"Sic him boys." Etemon said with a coy smirk while pointing right at Naruto, prompting the horde to charge.

-End Chapter-

AN: Sorry for the cliffhanger guys, it wasn't planned but this chapter ended up dragging on longer than I expected. I hope you all enjoyed regardless and please review.