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![]() Author has written 2 stories for Naruto. There are a lot of people who think the have a good story going on, and let me tell you...they dont, i think a good story has a good plot, not too much action, but not too calm, just enough details without going into too much detail, just enough romance without going overboard since some guys are not too good at that, and just the correct ammount of action, without having a fight every chapter. Another thing, theres been an influx of people with no imagination here in fanfiction, they all write the same thing as othe people, if you're one of those people, then you're a noob who should try to write his own story instead of writing the same basic thing as the next other fifty people, and then thers other people who make Naruto too forgiving, they almost kill him, and the next thing he says is dont worry ill protect Konoha with all i got, or others who have him meeting his parents or someone tells him of his parents, and he still forgives the Yondaime (his dad) for cursing him and leaving him alone with nobody to look after him Gundams i find awesome: Freedom custom- http:///vectorspace/FreedomWingCustom.jpg Epyon custom- /art/Epyon-custom-19253423 wing zero custom- http:///image/wing20zero/gordon008/blog/wingzero06editedzp1.jpg strike freedom- http:///fs15/i/2007/069/1/4/Strike_Freedom_Full_Burst_50K_by_sandrum.jpg destiny- http:///image/destiny20gundam/LaReSaKa/Destiny1.jpg Heavyarms custom- http:///pic/gundam/wing_endless_waltz/HG/03-61210/61210_front.jpg Deathscythe hell custom- http:///files/uwn69ExDScYYBaU6oxjsw9FTRq8xfUaG-eGFlW8OV1BAHowcBFwLcSCwk0IJIbJtBEa7FqRRhEp9LCsqCUm6RaQ9WTkGdh/deathscythe_hell_custom.jpg altron- http:///image/altron/Sinsarift/AltronGundam.jpg?o=40 Infinite justice- http:///view/04/15/178254.jpg Naruto pairings I like: naruhana(inuzuka) narukure narushizu naruanko naruyugi (yugito) naruyugao naruten narutema Naruto pairings I hate: Naruanyguy- I think its disgusting Narusaku - she hates him and then she falls in love with him, highly improbable, no matter what happens, she's too imfatuated with sasuke to see the light unless she never like sasuke to begin with Naruhina- theyre too different, the pairing doesnt match up, anyone who thinks its cute is braindead, she never does anything to get his attention or anything, i think its stupid unless you make her a little more outspoken and all that, not so shy and timid among those Naruino-too overused, and shes also too fangirlish, or acts like a person that doesnt fit well with naruto naruhana (hanabi) - she's much too young to get in a relationship with naruto, i think its bad to make him a pedophile Alright, I went to an AFJROTC (air Force Junior Reserve Officer Core) event called SLS (Summer Leadership School) and i found out about a new game called ninja where to begin you have a group and someone counts to 3 and everybody strikes a ninja pose while yelling haaya, the winner of the previous match starts and the first match is started by the first person to call haaya, the objective is to hit the hand, but not injuring so dont put all your strength behind the blow, and if you hit the wrist or arm theyre still in, so i was playing and my pose for one of the matches was crouching with my hands on the grass nad the girl next to me looked at me and called me puppy so that became my nickname, that was over at a place called Newks Tennis Ranch in New Braunfels, I wa one of the people to represent Judson High School in Converse to go to SLS if you are in your school's ROTC program or you know what a jodie is, then youll know what to do, this is another thin i learned in SLS A little puppy with little paws was sitting on my table saw I picked him up lika a piece of meat and then i sawed off all his feet; A little kitten a baby cat was sitting on my welcome mat i picked him up i made him purr and then i ripped out all his fur; A little gerbil with little eyes was sitting on my combat knife i picked him up i made some cuts and then i spilled out all his guts; a little birdie witha a yellow beak was sitting on my toilet seat i kicked him in i flushed him down and watched his feet go round and round; the stories moral as you can see is simply this don't mess (fuck) with me there was another jodie i learned, it goes a little like this; Here we go again same old stuff again just (add a numer) more (hours, days, weeks, months, years) and we'll be through and i wont have to look at you ugly, ugly, ugly you and you wont have to look at me preety, preety, preety me The perfect ninja pics: http:///albums/tt160/dragonfire7999/?action=view¤t=willymask-1.jpg&newest=1 - Naruto's mask "tic...toc...tic...toc...time is running, time doesnt stop... decisions...decisions, make a decision before your death comes"-Dragon "death is a beautiful thing that can happen quick or slow, it can be painful or in can be painless, all that matters is that my goal is reached"-Dragon "Loneliness is a disease, there is no cure to it, and it slowly kills you from the inside"-Dragon you know you live in 2010 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. 7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 9. You were too busy to notice number five. 10. You actually look to check if there was a number five. 11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did Life is like a bannister and your the splinter in my ass When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it Same list written differently FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you despise those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you despise backstabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 92 of the teen population would be dead if Hollister decided breathing wasnt cool!! Post this on your page if you would be part of the 8 laughing hysterically in the background! 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the poor Trix Rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you can spout a random Naruto character quote on demand, copy and paste this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now THE FOLLOWING MAY RESULT IN SUSPENSION,DETENTION AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT ENDS WITH -ION- 1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.) 2.After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously. 3.If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG very loudly. 4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, wow I can tell you're a blast at parties? 5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!! 6. Flick pieces of paper around the class. 7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, Your racist against paper aren't you. 8. Don't do your Homework. 9. When your teacher asks you why you didn't do your homework say I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you're the worst teacher ever. then sit there and smile sweetly. 10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say PROVE IT! 11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, My goldfish died. Then burst into tears. 12.When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom. 13.When you leave the class bow and say, May the force be with you, young one. 14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused. 15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!! 16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena. 17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room 18. Raise your hand and say I totally agree after everything your teacher says 19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow 20. Speak in French. 21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was a disturbance 22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well 23. The homework's due now Oh, give me a minute then. 24. Hand in an essay where every word is mispelled. 25. Run in the room screaming, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! 26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, the king is never late, everyone else is simply early. 27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, I'm sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you. 28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream AAH MY EYES!! 29. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loads. 30. Hide under your desk and yell THE SKY IS FALLING! 31. When someone knocks on the door, shout OH NO, THEY'RE COMING FOR ME! 32. Bring in a year 7 and says he's your new pet. 33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb. 34, when your teacher asks you a question just stare at them. 35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice. 36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it. 37. If you're playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win. 38. Glue all their scissors together. 39. Make paperclip jewelery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc 40. Pull out one strand of someone's hair and yell DNA! 41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says I am retarded(some people may be affended by this, if you are sorry) 42. Talk to a pen. 43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what?s wrong, yell NO I WON'T SNOG YOU! 44. Yell LIAR! to everything they say. 45. Smile. All the time. 46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, It's spreading, IT'S SPREADING! 47. When a substitute teacher is calling roll, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say Your worst Nightmare 48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go OOOHH I KNOW THIS 49. When a teacher calls on you say, I forgot 50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song. Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew 1.Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally. 2.We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them. 3.Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23. 4.Helpless is not cute. 5.Get to the point. 6.Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us. Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero. can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single. 8.If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do? 9.Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear. 10.We would not wear high heels to impress you. 11.Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in. 12.For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are. 13.If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today." 14.If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything. 15.Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous. 16.We need to vegetate. 17.We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it. 18.We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing. 19.We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you. 20.When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair. 's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how. 22.Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. 23.If it itches, it will be scratched. 24.If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear. 25.Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. 26.Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 27.Sundays equals sports. Period. is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 29.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. have enough clothes. have too many shoes. 32.Crying is blackmail. 33.Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. 34.Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! , we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check. 36.We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 37.Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress? 38.Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 39.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 40.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 41.Check your oil. 42.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. doesn't matter which quiz. 45.Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 46.If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys. 47.If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. 49.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 50.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. 51.If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at. 52.Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. 54.Ditto melon. 55.If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "us" in trust, and "if" in life. Stolen from myyearbook friend hehe "When life gives you lemons, reach across the counter, shove them in life's mouth, and say 'I ordered apples. Where are they?'" Leaf Ranger "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and just say, 'I'm that good'." Leaf Ranger "When life gives you lemonade, pour life a glass, and when life drinks it, tell them you put arsenic in it. Watch the spit take."RagingStarr, Leaf Ranger's sister. "When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party." -Ron White "Having the love of your life break up with you and say, "We can still be friends," is like having your dog die, and your mom saying that we could still keep it." "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back... are we talking about zombies here?" Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat. Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape. They say that guns don't kill people. People do. But I think that guns help. I mean, if a guy goes into a middle of a room and yells "BANG!" He wouldn't kill that many people. If you laugh, I laugh. If you cry, I cry. If you jump out a window and die, I'll laugh harder. If you're pissed at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Just when I think you said the most stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking. Knowledge is power, and power is the root of all evil. So study to be evil! When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it. The early bird catches the worm, on the other hand, the early worm gets eaten. I love you is eight letters. So is bullshit. I know it sounds like I'm in denial. But I'm not. As I said before, I never repeat myself. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over. Ok, here's the "Copy and Paste" section getting started: If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Cougarkillz, FerPeinRikudou, Dragonfire7999 If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! :Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! QUOTES I LIKE -If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried -If violence isn't working, then you're just not using enough -Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. -Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people. -I ran with scissors, and lived! -You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you hurt, I hurt, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. -It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherfucker who made you frown. -They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. -Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. -Never bring a knife to a sword fight. -Never bring a sword to a gunfight, let alone a knife. -When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out. -Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you. -Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live. -Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs -If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down -If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. -Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. -The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. -Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. -Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. -The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. -Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants. -Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat." -When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. - Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber. -Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. -Chuck Norris can divide by zero. -Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. -Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved. -If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef. -We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic. -Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right. -At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris -A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. -Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains. -If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris. -Geico saved 15 by switching to Chuck Norris. -If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. -They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to. -Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it. -Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club. -The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris. -The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!” -Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off. -Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person. -Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet. Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck. -Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you". -Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. -Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. -Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". -Chuck Norris can speak Braille. -Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. -Gravity doesn’t exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt because they are shaped like Ts |