Mhahahaha. *Insert Evil Laughter* Poor Naruto world. Suffer as the Varia is reborn! I don't own Naruto or KHR. Enjoy :)

Belphegor is not amused. He may have been reborn to nobility, but he's no longer a prince. He's a princess. Not that he'll let that change anything. He may be a girl, but he won't be some dainty helpless peasant.

"Hinata-Hime, it's time for your calligraphy lessons."

He scowls at the tutor before him. "Ushishishi. Peasant" The tutor pales as Bel throws a knife at him, barely missing. "Don't tell the prince what to do." He may not like it, but calligraphy will be useful. He'll listen to the tutor for now. As royalty, his handwriting should reflect his status. Even so, the peasants should learn their place.

Bel carefully works his way through each kanji, making sure every stroke is perfect. It takes a bit, and some of the words may be a bit more crooked than he likes, but that's okay. He's not even three. He has time.

Dinner follows calligraphy practice. It's a quiet solemn affair. No chatter and yelling like at Varia Headquarters.

"Hinata." Bel scowls up at his new father who is holding up the knife he threw; the calligraphy peasant must have tattled on him.

"Fake King."

His father long-sufferingly ignores the form of address, long since used to it. "You shouldn't throw knives at people. Where did you even get them?"

"…"

"Hinata, is this about your shinobi training? We're starting soon, there's no reason to be impatient."

"What's a shinobi?" Bel asks, curious. He's heard that term in passing, but never bothered to get anyone to explain it to him.

"Well, they protect the village."

"Ushishishi. Sounds boring." He leisurely throws a knife at his father who sadly dodges.

"Hinata! Where did that knife even come from, I thought I confiscated all of them the other day. And it's your duty to your clan as our heiress to become a shinobi." Bel throws another knife. His new father sighs. "You'll get to kill peasants from enemy villages."

"Ushishsishi." Belphegor smirks. With his hair covering his eyes (his new dad tried, but ultimately failed to convince him to cut his bangs) he looks quite creepy. "Sounds like fun."

The Kumo ninja smirks as he sneaks into the Hyuga Heiress' bedroom. The mission is going quite smoothly so far. Sneaking out of his quarters and into the Hyuga compound was relatively easy. Konoha really should invest in better security.

He narrowly ducks a knife as he enters the room, but even then, the knife still cuts off several strands of hair.

"Ushishishi. Peasant." He stares at the little girl standing in front of him. Her black hair is cropped short and spiky with the bangs covering her eyes. A small silver tiara is perched on her head and a smirk decorates her face as she twirls a silver knife. He reaches out to grab the girl, yelping as she attempts to stab him. "Did father send you to confiscate my knives? He really should know better by now."

She throws another knife at him, but he catches it. The girl pouts. She may be quite good for her age, but he's a trained shinobi.

He darts forward twisting another knife forward and out of the girl's hands before dumping her in a sack and hoisting her over his shoulder.

"Unhand the prince." He ignores the muffled comment from the sack as he hopes out the window.

Bel scowls. The peasant had the nerve to kidnap him. Now he needs help. Princes don't need help, but he's a princess now, and apparently a damsel in distress. He will stab the peasant to death when he gets out of this sack. This is no way to treat the prince. Sadly, he can't escape on his own so he'll need to attract help. Channeling his inner Sawada Tsunayoshi, Belphegor lets out the most high-pitched girly shriek he can. He makes sure it's extra loud by channeling Squalo. The Noisy Peasant does have some uses after all. "HIEEEEEEEE." If his fellow Varia members find out about this, he's never going to live it down."

The Kumo nin curses as the little Hyuga princess lets out the shrillest loudest scream he's ever heard. Crap. He'd been so focused on the knives she was throwing he forgot to gag her. He lets out another curse as a knife jams through the bag into his shoulder. How many knives does she have? Why does a three-year-old even have knives? Most shinobi parents (except Kiri) start kids off with toy weapons then blunted weapons. These knives definitely aren't blunted.

Frick. The Hyuga clan head and several guards just showed up. Why is this his life?

Holding a bottle of milk, Xanxus glares up at the store owner. "Freaking trash. Why are you trying to sell me rotten milk. I'm not stupid."

The old hag glares back at him. "Demons don't deserve good food."

"What the hell old hag. I never did anything." His glower increases. "You can't just give someone shitty rotten food for no reason. Even the vegetables you gave me are rotten."

Xanxus ducks as the woman tries to hit him with a broom. "Get out demon. Out of my store. Horrid wretched thing!"

Scowling Xanxus unscrews the milk cap and tosses the rotten milk onto the old store owner. "Freaking hag." He storms out of the store. He really doesn't understand what the hell is wrong with this world. Every single person in this shitty village seems to scorn and hate him which is freaking weird because he's about as cute and fluffy looking as Sawada Tsunayoshi. Spikey blonde hair, chubby cheeks, wide blue eyes, and whisker marks make for one cute five year old brat. Sure, he might have been born the same day as the Kyuubi attack and he might have whisker marks like a fox, but is the trash in this village really that superstitious?

It's not like he's killed anyone here. He's been tempted to, fucking trash keep insulting him, overcharging him, and selling him rotten food, but he hasn't since he's pretty certain killing someone would result in his death. He may have been Varia Quality, but currently he is a five year old brat with minimal combat skills who is being watched 24/7 by masked ninja. Put that together with the fact he's the village pariah, he'd definitely end up dead if he killed someone.

Speaking of the creepy masked ninja, one just showed up to take him to the Hokage. The Hokage reminds him of Nono. They're both kind patronizing old geezers. The masked ninja picks him up and with a quick shunshin, they arrive at the tower.

Scowling Xanxus tunes out the Hokage's lecture, occasionally nodding or humming in agreement. Apparently he's supposed to be nice to the trash who insult, overcharge, and try and sell him rotten food. There is also something about the will of fire. And Konoha pride. And something about kindness again. And anger issues. He doesn't have anger issues.

"Naruto?"

"Old Man."

"How would you like to go to the Academy, protect Konoha, and make friends."

Xanxus smirks. "Sounds fucking great." He's not planning on protecting this village or making friends with brats, but becoming a ninja, a state sanctioned assassin/mercenary, sounds good. Maybe he can even start up the Varia again. It might be nice to meet up with the Trash if they're reincarnated here as well; not that he cares about them. He really doesn't. Xanxus scowls. Maybe he cares a little. Just a bit. A very tiny bit.

"Sakura-chan! I got you a new kimono for the festival." Superbi Squalo stares at his mother and the…Pink sparkly thing in her hands.

"VOIII! What the hell is that!"

The woman seems to sparkle with happiness. "Your new kimono!"

"I won't wear it.

"But Sakura-chan…"

"IT LOOKS LIKE SHITTY UNICORN VOMIT!"

The woman smiles. "I'll buy you a sword if you wear it for the entire day!"

Squalo perks up at that. It took forever to convince his civilian mother to let him apply to the academy. He had to go on a shopping trip and have a mother daughter day with her. Damn it! He's not Lussuria, he doesn't enjoy that type of shit. He will never forget the horrors of having his nails painted pink. He might have pink hair, and wasn't that horrible to find out, but he definitely doesn't like the color pink.

"Fine." Squalo grumbles out. "But not a shitty practice sword or wooden one. A real sword."

The woman beams.

Squalo tunes out the Academy entrance ceremony speech. It's a bunch of inspirational Will of Fire propaganda. He's Varia quality. He's here to become a Shinobi, and fight strong opponents, not make friends. He scowls as he spots several girls giggling and blushing over a boy. Fangirls? Ugh.

Squalo enters the academy with the other new students as the Hokage's speech concludes. It's fairly easy to find his classroom, and he takes a seat in the back so he can survey all the other students as they come in. His eyes widen as a small raven haired girl enters the classroom. Her hair covers her eyes and a small crown is perched on her head. "VOII. Shitty Prince!"

The girl throws a knife at him which he easily catches. "Shark Peasant."

Squalo smirks. "Do you think the others are here too?"

"No idea." She plops down into the seat next to him.

They both perk up as a small blonde boy enters the classroom. Several feathers are braided into his hair and his whiskered face is set in a perpetual scowl. He immediately spots the two of them and heads over. Belphegor is quite recognizable with his iconic bangs and crown. Squalo is not as recognizable as Bel, but the sword strapped to his back and he's sitting by Bel is a dead give away.

"Shark Trash. Trash. You're both girls."

"Ushishishi. You have whiskers instead of burns."

"Trash."

Bel grins as Xanxus sits by the two of them. "Shitty Boss."

"Shark Trash. Why is your hair pink?"

Squalo scowls. "VOIII. I don't know why! It's naturally pink."

"Ushishishi. You really are a girl."

"VOIIII. You're not one to talk shitty princess."

"Ushishishi. The prince is a prince not a princess." Bel throws a knife at the pinkette which Squalo easily catches and throws back. Bel scowls. "Peasant."

"Shitty Princess. Did you expect that I'd let you hit me?"

Squalo yelps as a bottle is thrown at his head. "VOIIII! Shitty Boss. Where the hell did you even get alcohol from? You're five!"

"The prince thinks he terrified the peasants into giving it to him."

Xanxus ignores the comment. "Trash. What are your new names?"

"Haruno Sakura."

Xanxus' lips twitch into a slight smile as Bel cackles. "You're named after a flower. Your name matches your pink hair."

"SHITTY PRINCESS."

Bel pouts. "Yes, The prince is now a princess, Hyuga Hinata, heiress of the Hyuga clan. At least the prince is still royalty."

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto now."

"VOIII. You're named after a fishcake?"

"Ushishishi. The boss is a fish cake with whiskers."

"Shut it trash." Xanxus radiates killing intent. The other class members whimper, shrinking away from the volatile blonde.

Iruka frowns in confusion as he enters the classroom. The room is dead silent. Normally with new classes it takes several minutes to quiet the students down, especially on the first day when kids are introducing themselves and making new friends. Maybe this class is actually well behaved? Iruka will find that statement to be the complete opposite of the truth in the months to come. This class, especially those three menances, are a nightmare to deal with.