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Author has written 37 stories for Elder Scroll series, RWBY, League of Legends, Twilight, Sword Art Online/ソードアート・オンライン, Naruto, Fallout, Lucky Star, Fairy Tail, Hellsing, Undertale, and High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D. To all who read this: This may come as no surprise to anyone, but I've officially stopped writing on . The reason? Lack of conviction to do so. Allow me to explain. This account was purely created - in the beginning - for RWBY writings; fanfiction, ideas, etcetera. And from season 1 to season 3 of RWBY it was going well; I had a steady stream of ideas, new characters added, solid writing to build on. I had RWBY to build upon, and as my writing grew better so did my inspiration climb. And then Monty Oum died, and I felt I couldn't honour his work with my simplistic writings, so I tried to get my skills together. Honour the man that made such a difference to many - via entertainment of his works, or quotes he's said, or things he's done. It looked like my writing was improving - at least, if anything it looked like it wasn't getting worse - and I could live up to the non-existent expectation I believed someone like Oum would have had on me. Until season 4. Season 4 onward ruined the series for me, and as I tried to branch out from RWBY I realised it just wouldn't work; so, I took a 2 year sabbatical. I had to get my real world life on track before I could get my FF life on track, and as I did so I found myself lacking the want to even approach this site for anything more than reading others' stories. I couldn't bring myself to write anything for RWBY anymore, and I couldn't attempt to write anything else form any other fandom because...well...not a lot of fandoms interested me enough to write for them like RWBY did when it was first announced. It was a new concept - not as new as it appeared to be, but it was new enough to get me interested. It had some fresh ideas, and just the right amount of drip-fed mysticism behind some of the characters and their motivations that I found myself finding inspiration in simple little details. Behind a characters' appearance I found ways they could be changed, behind a characters' attitude I found reasons why that could be, behind pasts I saw ways that past could be changed with the slightest incremental difference. I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't write for the fandom I loved and loathed in equal measure - and it killed me on some microscopic level. It hurt to see, day after day, new fictions rolling in on the RWBY fandom, and none of them were mine. I couldn't bare the thought that I'd come to hate something that helped me find purpose - even if that purpose was to be found on the internet. I attempted to branch out - to other fandoms I'd recently gotten in to. Undertale, Naruto, Sword Art Online, even League of Legends. Like water given to a burns victim, it did nothing but momentarily soothe the pain. I couldn't do it anymore - writing on here became mundane, boring. I found no inspiration for anything anymore, and if I did it was there and gone in a flash. Ideas came, ideas went, and yet I never could bring myself to open my Word document and just type. Even a thousand words would have done. I couldn't. So, even if it does come as no surprise to anyone, I'm moving on. I'm not writing fiction anymore, and am instead getting out more. Getting over a recent death, getting used to seeing people again, getting used to being a person. I sincerely apologise to those few that thought I would return, to any I've made promises I couldn't have possibly kept, to any I spoke to that felt I'd made a difference to them. Only people can make a difference, and if I'm only just learning to be a person, how could I have made a difference to you? I made no difference, however small or big you see it; I was an entity on the internet, behind a facade known as a username. You make the differences. If anything, I shouldn't be apologising to you, I should be thanking you. Thank you all, for making a difference. Thank you all for giving my stories - as mediocre they may have been - an ounce of your attention, of which could have been spent on masterpieces infinitely greater than my stories. Thank you all for PMs declaring your love for my stories, my ideas, my general writing. Thank you all for being an audience I could entertain with my stories, as bland of as interesting as you may have found them. To these special people I owe my continued career as a writer, and to some I owe my real life to; either in small ways, or large, as support or simply as an audience: - A New Username, for being a source of humour on the Discord we share, for acting as support for when I hit my lowest, and for simply being a constant in a world of changes. - SilverShadow1711, for saying you liked my poetry. It may not seem like much to you, dear Silver, but to me that meant everything, and I thank you. - Jin0uga, for being a board I bounced ideas off of when my inspirational tether grew too thin. For being a person that gave me courage to continue writing for a fandom I was steadily giving up on, if only for a time at least. - Fairy Tail Dragon Slayer, despite my criticism of your stories, they provided me entertainment in no small measure; and to you I thank you. - MocTheUsername, to you I apologise; you were a friend and either through lack of diligence on my part, or simple stupidity in actions you no longer write. I may not be the reason, but guilt is given, not shared. I feel I have been given the guilt, and for your presumed deceased status I give my apologies, heartfelt and true. You are, or were, a friend, and despite no contact in the real world you were both inspiration and simply someone to talk to. Thank you, my friend, for simply being you. - BlacSparrow, for your stories; I found them infinitely entertaining - despite many of their unfinished statuses - and they continued to brighten up the RWBY fandom with clever ideas that none had thought of before. - Erika The Witch, I thank you for simply giving me the time of day. When we last spoke you were doing well, and were building up your creativity as a writer. Thank you for letting me simply know you, however short our acquaintance may have been. - ChristopherWeeblingJr, for being a source of interest and ideas, helping me find my centre and giving me ideas to try something new; new pairings, new story ideas, new themes. Whatever you are doing now, just know you helped me in some small way, and I thank you. Our last conversation was nothing but insults, and for that I'd like to say I'm sorry as well, for pushing away what could have been a good friendship. - ODST110, for simply being someone to talk to, to vent with, someone who shared similar issues to me. Thank you. To my audience, I once again take the time to apologise; I understand many of you had expectation for me, some wished to see me succeed, some liked my ideas, and some just enjoyed my stories. To all of you, each and every one of you, I say sorry. For letting you all down, for not being what I could have been, for simply not being good enough. And to all of you, I say goodbye. I don't know what I’ll do from here, I don't know how I'll manage to live in a world I hate living in, with people I hate, with humans I hate, but for all of you, who helped shape me and make me who I am on here, I will try. I will make friends where I would make enemies, I will try things I would usually hate the idea of trying to say that at least I tried. I will be my own person. To all of you, I say goodbye, and I hope you all make more differences in others' lives as you have mine. |