I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.

"Speech"

'Thought'

"Powerful Entities Talking" (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

[Boost]: Ddraig

{Divide} Albion

-Breakdown- 'Thought' : Bahamut

=Time Dilation= 'Thought' : Tiamat

My eyes snap open.

"WHATEVER! I'M TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES TOO!" I hear Aisa exclaim in the next room. "I Swear! I am not going to be left out any more!"

I shoved Issei and Rias out of my room last night then locked the door.

"…"

"Why is my fucking brother a harem anime protaganist?" I sigh.

Mittelt tiredly looks up from her pillow. "Mnnn."

She faceplants against it.

"I mean, I'm the cool one, why don't I have naked girls sleeping with me." I sigh.

"Mnnn."

"He didn't even break up Rias' wedding and sold his arm to a dragon for no reason." I sigh. "What does he have that I don't."

"Charisma." Mittelt mutters as she turns her head to the side and cracks open an eye. "Now let me sleep, fuck-o"

"Charisma?! You are telling me that him being a massive perv means he has 'Charisma'?!" I ask. "Do YOU like him as well!?"

"Gross." She scoffs. "I like someone else."

"Me, right?"

"…"

"Shut." She deadpans.

"I mean, that's how these things normally go, right?"

"Are you going to shut up so I can sleep or not?" Mittelt asks.

"Probably not." I shrug. "Want to go out and get some food?"

"Sure, why not."

"HYOUDOU!" Some dude roars as he leaps out from an alleyway at me with a pipe raised.

I nonchalantly catch his hand and murmur. "Huh, it has been a while since I was jumped by a fucking idiot..."

I grab his forearm with my other hand and twist his hand at the wrist 180 degrees.

"AAAAGH-"

I silence him with a brutal gut punch that knocks him unconscious.

"…"

"Do you do this... every day?" Mittelt asks.

We left through the window because I didn't want to deal with Rias' bullshit.

"Pretty much." I shrug.

"…" she is quiet for a few seconds as she brushes off her black skirt. "That's... nice?"

"It all started about five years-"

"I don't need your life story, Ryu." Mittelt deadpans.

"-ago when I singlehandedly kicked the shit out of a lot of high ranking people in the criminal underworld, it was pretty cool, they started sending assassins after me- and one time they targeted my family but I showed them the error of their ways by hanging them up by their intestines- but in general, yeah, people from the various gangs in Kuoh still try to come after me." I continue. "I think I have become a 'trial' of some sort... like 'go beat up this guy in order to join our gang' they would say to people who they didn't want to join their gangs, and if they actually managed to beat me, that would just prove they belonged... or something like that."

"You have a REALLY fucked up childhood." Mittelt sighs. "And that's coming from me."

"What do you mean by that?" I ask.

"My... father is pretty important... so he simply avoided contact with me after a while so people wouldn't target me to get to him."

"…"

"Kokabiel?"

"What?" She asks

"Shemhazai?"

"Are you... trying to guess my father?" mutters

"Sahariel?"

"Stop." She growls.

"Fucking Azazel?!" I ask.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh, my fucking god."

"…"

I take a deep breath and sigh. "You've got some fucking splaining to do... we'll talk about this over brekfast, sound good?"

"Mhm..."

"Alright, let's start from the beginning." I sigh as I cast a little magic to prevent eavesdropping. "Who exactly have I been letting sleep in my room for the past three or so weeks?"

She looks down at the large bowl of ramen before her and lets out a quiet sigh. "My name is Mittelt, and I am the only daughter of the Governor General of the fallen angels."

"I have six wings and I was drafted into Raynare's group after Kokabiel started recruiting low ranking fallen angels for a job, now, you might think, why would he draft a fallen with six wings when he was looking for low ranking fallen, and that is because I have been keeping four of my wings hidden from my comrades for as long as I can remember."

"Why were you labeled as a stray, then? I imagine your father wouldn't normally do that; he seems like a pretty chill guy."

"He... didn't exactly know about this job... Kokabiel made us swear for secrecy... or else." She mutters. "He most likely didn't realize I was a part of this whole operation until after you turned Raynare and Dohnaseek over to him."

"Doesn't that seem kind of sketchy to you? Kokabiel making you swear secrecy?" I ask.

"As I said before, my father is a really important man, he has to not show favorites and thus I started down at the bottom with only a single pair of wings, as a random six winged fallen showing up would have been suspicious considering how I have never... existed... in heaven." She continues. "And completing jobs for any of the leaders is a fast way to get promoted, those promoted get better training, and thus get more pairs of wings... so it wouldn't be suspicious for me to use more of my hidden strength."

"…"

"…"

She rubs the back of her head with her hand. "And now my father probably thinks I died... and you or the Gremory girl killed me and he will probably be a little... murdery... about that."

"God damnit Mittelt." I sigh.

"You know what?" I ask. "I don't even care."

"You... don't care?" She asks.

"Not even a fraction of one percent of a fuck is how much I give." I deadpan. "But considering I don't want twelve-winged-death on my hands, you are going to fucking call him and say that you are still alive."

"Other than that," I continue. "I don't care. You are still the bitchy little midget that I sort of became friends with."

"Oi." She pouts.

"Now eat your damn ramen before it gets cold." I frown. "I didn't pay the ridiculous price of four-thousand yen for a buffet so you could eat cold ramen."

"Thankfully that guy who attacked me made the yen in his wallet forfeit, so we managed to eat here basically free, but damnit if you waste food ill bitch at you for a good ten minutes on the walk home."

She looks down at her noodles and blushes lightly. "Th-thanks, Ryu... I haven't ever told anyone that... and it means a lot to me that you don't mind that I practically l-lied to you this entire time."

'ugh... so what am I going to do when I eventually meet Azazel, just walk up to him and be all, 'Hi, I'm Ryu, your daughter has a crush on me.'? That's dumb... and probably would get me slaughtered nigh instantaneously... or it could lead to a pretty cool fight! One or the other.'

'I will be forced to add 'Fucker of Azazel's daughter' to your list of titles along with 'Pheonix Killer', 'Sleeping Dragon Awoken' and 'Stray Devil Slayer'.'

'Damn it Tiamat'

"Call him."

"S-should I?"

"Mittelt."

"Can we pleaaase do this another time?"

"You are legitimately murdering me the longer you put this off, Mittelt."

We look down at the cars crossing below the bridge for a moment then she eventually sighs and pulls out a normal smartphone.

"…"

"What?" She asks as she looks over to me, briefly pausing from typing in numbers.

"I... kind of expected like a... magic circle?"

"Too bad. The future is now." She deadpans as she finishes typing the last 3 digits.

*Riiiing*

"…"

*Riiiing*

We awkwardly exchange glances then look away.

*Riiiin-Click*

"MITTEEEELLT!" A voice cries over the line causing both Mittelt and I to lean away from the phone to protect our hearing.

"H-Hi A-Azazel." she quietly whispers

"You are alive!" The voice cries again. "I thought that breakdown bastard killed youuu!"

"I'm okay d-dad..." Mittelt whispers into the phone hiding a massive blush with her hands, probably embarrassed by her father's antics.

"Where are you?! Ill teleport right over and pick you up!"

"It's okay! I-im with a friend." Mittelt cuts him off.

"But Mittelt, you don't have friends..." comes his- probably unintentional- snappy response.

"Ouch" I wince.

"Hm? Who's that?" Azazel asks.

"I'm the breakdown bastard." I hum, leaning forwards slightly so the phone can pick up my voice better.

"Stay away from my daughter you little shit!" Azazel snarls through the phone. "I won't have you corrupt my adorable Mit-tan!"

I slowly blink with a blank face and a straight mouth.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?!" Mittelt and I ask at the same time.

"…"

"Nothing~" Azazel hums to Mittelt before turning his attention back to me. "Now, you listen here you bastard, if even a single hair on her head was harmed in the past month you are going to regret it."

"Now, where are you? You need to come back to the Grigori." He continues.

"Actually, dad... I uh- kind of want to stay with Ryu." Mittelt slowly states.

"WHAT?!" We both wince at his loud tone.

"Yeah, uh, I'm gonna just go on ahead and give you two some privacy." I quietly whisper as I shuffle away from Mittelt, inserting a finger into my ear and twisting it back and forth, muttering. "Damn... dude's got a set of lungs on him."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MITTELT?!" Azazel asks. "Why?!"

'And now my Image of Azazel being like a cool uncle is ruined... fuck my life.'

I open the front door to the Hyoudou Residence and flop down on the couch. "Sweet! The pain in my neck is at school."

'Hm, my parents are away as well, nice.'

"Hmmm... what do I want to do more than anything in the world..."

"…" I spend about a minute pondering.

"Nap."

The front door opens, revealing Mittelt who looks slightly dead inside. "That was horrifying."

"What?" I ask. "The fact that your dad ruined my perfectly good 'cool uncle' vision of him, or the fact that he went full Serafall siscon mode at you."

"What-"

"Serafall is a siscon... this is common knowledge."

"What-"

"I'm going to take a nap now!" I exclaim as I hop up from the couch.

I walk up the stairs and open the door-

"WAIT!" Mittelt exclaims.

"…" I freeze mid step.

I look back. "What?"

"Shirt." She deadpans while holding out a hand.

"…"

"You are a fucking menace to society."

"Shirt."

"Tch- you psycho bitch." I growl as I slide my arms into my shirt, then as I take it off, I roll it up and throw it at her. "Take it."

I flop on my bed and cover myself up with a blanket. "Oho you look like a fucking peasant now! I have a blanket!"

"This is only a minor setback in the quest to stare at your shirtless body."

"You know, you really like to bash my brother for his perversions, but you are the exact same." I deadpan.

"Hey, blame my father, the literal embodiment of lust... the guy who collected SEVERAL extremely rare and valuable materials in order to manufacture a telescope that could pierce through heaven's veil just so he could spy on Gabriel bathing." She sighs. "It didn't work, so now we just have a super telescope sitting around his office gathering dust."

"So, you do this for every guy then?" I ask.

"No, just you." She says, sounding extremely pleased to say it.

"That sounds like a fairly suspicious, 'I want to date you' sort of thing to say."

"Maybe, maybe not." She replies as she sits down on her- my- bed. "I wouldn't be opposed, you have cared for me, don't care about my... racial traits... or parents."

"those muscles." She continues with a slight drool. "Overall a win-win!"

"Sweet." I yawn. "I might take you up on that offer... but for now, sleep."

I slowly crack my eyes open and slowly sit up. 'ugh what time is it?'

'I feel heavier than normal.'

I look down at my chest to see Mittelt safely nuzzled against it.

'should have expected this- is she drooling?!'

"Mascles." She mumbles in her sleep.

"…"

'Yeah, no... this is pretty weird.'

I try to shake her of but she is surprisingly strong for her height, kind of like Koneko who can lift my brother over her head and toss him like a ragdoll effortlessly.

"Ugh." I grumble as I look over her sleeping form.

'annnd she is wearing only a bra and panties... what the fuck?!'

'…'

'enjoy it.'

'what?'

'you were whining about how Issei had naked girls sleeping with him, and now you have to deal with it. No complaints.'

'Tiamat!'

'to be completely fair, this does go with... Rule Three... was it? On your 'ideas for the future list'... I have no idea what a Xenovia is though.'

'not you as well, Bahamut!'

i slowly blink.

'ah right, if the O.R.C. holds a club meeting here, they will show up at the church later that night.'

'Wait what? 'they'?'

'don't worry about it too much... just please keep a lookout for any holy signatures, there should be a stray priest wielding rapidly running around sometime soon, I plan to steal it off him.'

I resume my struggle against the arms wrapped around my stomach. 'you would think that she would be weaker than this, but nooo.'

'I guess this is what a six-winged's strength feels like... I can't wait till I have to fight Cockabiel.'

That last sentence was sarcasm if you couldn't tell.

"Oi... flat midget with lust issues... wake the fuck up." I frown. "I need to get up."

Her fingers twitch slightly but she seemingly goes back to sleep nigh instantaneously.

"…"

"I wish I could drift in and out of sleep like that." I quietly mutter.

The door slowly creaks open to reveal Issei peeking his head into the room.

He freezes for a few moments, then just gives me a thumbs up and closes the door.

"I'm sorry president, but you can't see Ryu right now, he isn't there." He states as he walks into his room.

'damn, what a bro... I almost feel bad about stealing one of his girls now...'

'almost.'

I start repeatedly poking Mittelt's forehead.

"Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up."

"Wake up." I prod her face "Grab a brush and put on a little make up."

I poke her in the face for each word.

Her hand snaps up and grabs my wrist before I can poke her again. "If you don't fucking stop, that finger is coming off." She mutters in a tired haze.

"Fine then." I sigh. "I'm leaving in three hours, so go back to sleep I guess, I'll just stare at the ceiling for a while lamenting the days when I could get up whenever I wanted and- a-are you already asleep again?!"

She lets out a light grunt in her sleep.

"Oh my god." I whisper. "Do you have some sort of sleep disorder or something?!"

"Mnnnn." She groans in her sleep.

"…"

I let out another sigh then lay my head back down. 'ugh fine... use my body for a pillow why don't you?'

'Though I suppose this is slightly better than Issei's situation with Rias and her exhibitionist actions... if Mittelt goes further than this, I am fucking out.'

'…'

'Wait... why am I acting like a pussy little bitch of a harem protaganist? Why be a complete failure like Issei who is still a virgin after several seasons even with all the girls flinging themselves at him... when I can go even further beyond that.'

'Azazel.'

'Right. fuck.'

I look over to the clock and frown slightly, the sounds of the entire Gremory group in the other room reaching my ears. 'So today is the start of season 2 hm?'

'…'

'am I really ready to fight a Cadre class fallen?'

I sigh once more as I close my eyes. 'I guess ill find out soon enough.'

*end of chapt-

"Well, I brought something that might inspire everybody~" my mother hums in my brothers room.

"MOOOM!" Issei cries.

"So, who wants to see Issei and Ryu when they were just little boys?" My mother asks.

My eyes snap open, pupils reduced to slits and my eyes glowing a blaring red.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-'

And thus another chapter in Ryu's Bizarre Adventure is completed.

Why does watching dxd have to bring me so much pain? Like, I am writing this, and I am only on episode 7 of season 2... hopefully the pace at which Ryu is blasting through the story will slow down a bit now that he is actually participating in the story.

Fact: Dxd would be an interesting world that I would be proud to tell my family about and encourage people to watch if it didn't have so much fucking TITS in it.

Guest Review(s):

Guest 001: " Don't give a damn about the devils. Don't let the mc turn to one. I actually want the mc to piss off Rias by saying and showing issei that she reincarnated issei just for his sacred gear to use him for her marriage. Also, don't befriend with Sirzechs and punch him. This is the whole point of this fanfic right?"

.

That last point is kind of fair, but at the same time, the first is sort of dumb, who in their right mind would REFUSE: 1: Practically immortality, as in, no normal human diseases, no death via aging (Unless you are THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of years old) 2: Magic based off of imagination, do you know how much shit you could make as a Si taking powers from other universes? 3: a chance to eventually have your own peerage harem thing.
That middle point however is kind of egh... Issei is having a good time, so what sort of asshole brother do you have to be to ruin that for him?

.

See you all the next time I decide to write this, or tomorrow if you are keeping up with Codex of the Universe.