Tx

SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP

Awww.

I will say I'm starting to see where this story is going.
You're going to have Taylor be "The Heart" of a not!E88 breakaway group.
Or maybe just the only non repentant villain. I could see Lisa and Regent joining - and them pretending to be ex-nazis (with *really* bad German accents) to the PRT.

Txs

I genuinely dont know how to feel about this story. It's got everything I look for in fanfiction- a fantastic AU premise, good characterisation, good spelling and grammar and progress that doesnt sacrifice the aforementioned character development. But it also involves real world politics and that makes it super hard to read.

I dont dislike Taylor here. I dont think shes a bad person. But she sicced a gang of superpowered Neo Nazis on a minority. I really hate Sophia as a person but as a minority myself that's just not something that's easily swept under the rug. And the fact is, we get no closure on how TERRIFYING that would be from Sophia's perspective. Her hatred of Taylor isnt borne or strengthened from this incident but typical highschool bullshit. We arent informed on how shes dealing with the attack at all, beyond her stupid social Darwinist strong/weak dichotomy.

I feel like it's a really missed opportunity to introduce such a controversial moment and then have it not affect Sophia's personality in any way at all. Hell if her attitude regarding strong and weak people stemmed from her experiences as a black woman, and was a desperate attempt to reassert control over a life dominated by systemic racism and magic Nazis that's been taken too far, that would be great. Ultimately this fic isnt about Sophia, shes a narrative device. I just feel that the moral event horizon was crossed a little too far on this one, and so far the payoff hasnt justified it in my view.

Regarding Taylor and Kayden, I actually dont have a problem with their relationship. Human beings change and can be redeemed- while I personally dont think I could ever interact with Kayden positively knowing her history, Taylor's dynamic with her is one of the strengths of this fic. I also like Hardlight's powers and her counterfactual relationship with the Undersiders and the PRT/Wards.

This fic is still a really good one, despite my criticism. Keep up the great work!

Hmm. At this point Danny seems a bit TOO dense. Iirc, in canon he was engaged after the locker, if still basically emotionally crippled. He cares about Taylor and right now he feels... malevolent. Or at least intentionally going out of his way to do things to ignore or spite Taylor. I do think he bought her mace in canon when she started her walks at the very least. Perhaps give us some focus on him? Let him Show us things from his perspective. Even a bad reason is better than no reason after all.

I don't like this story. I get it, and in all honesty, I'm surprised something like this didn't happen in cannon. Desperate white girl, bullied severely by a black girl and her goons... it isn't hard to believe. Just not something I want to read. And if you decide to name her Virtue or something, then I think you need to rethink this story. Peace.

i really want to see more of this story, is sweete see how taylor and kayden act with the other

This was an AMAZING chapter, the heartfelt interaction between Kayden and Taylor was beautifully done :D

“The way I silently agreed that I'd probably do that same for her if the positions were flipped…that should have scared me.

It didn't.

Did that make me a bad person too?”

No, that makes you family.

Great story. No instant fixes, well reasoned issues/conflicts

Just Human.

So.. many.. FEELS! Oh my gosh does this one hit you hard

This has been a very Interesting story so far. I look forward to reading more of it. Thanks for sharing with us.

Interesting take...I’m a bit confused about where Aster is, like did Kaiser get custody which lead Kayden to a bar and meeting Danny or something? Other than that looking forward to seeing some more.