GrimCreeper
 Author has written 22 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, How to Train Your Dragon, Artemis Fowl, Fullmetal Alchemist, Big Hero 6, Fairy Tail, Harry Potter, Spirited Away, Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール, and Noragami/ノラガミ. Yo people! Me name is Jan the rocker or more commonly known as GrimCreeper. I am: - Member of the High School Band( Da epics) - A Filipino -16 years old -a PJO addict -HTTYD addict -BH6 addict -smartest scientific kid( in school, of course) -most awesome nerd who ever made friends with Ms.Popular -A girl -a panhead -a green-minded person -first ever guy who made a Percy Jackson tribute using:A thousand years part 2, Rise, Defender, Savior,E for Extinction, War of Change and One-X. Yeah and trailers. I'm good at that. -Most awesome Filipino in YouTube(understatement) -and I am the only Filipino who can play Skillet songs. Just kidding. The Oath of The Big Three: I (say your name), hereby swear upon the deepest depths of Tartarus and the River Styx, to not have any other favorite than The Percy Jackson series. If I fail to do so, I will not protest being chained into a rock and have my liver pecked at by vultures. I swear this upon the River Styx. Pretty cruel, right? I suggest you watch my videos on youtube. My channel is: sarah valle Second channel: Jan Valle Please subscribe to my channel and like it. Just don't watch the song covers. PERCY JACKSON QUOTES:(Kind of copied this from a friend) With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN "God alert! It's the wine dude!" -Blackjack (Percy's pegasus), THE TITANS CURSE "Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said "The dam snack bar?" "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires." "And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand" "I want to use the dam water fountain." "And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE "Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS Deadlines just aren't real to me unless I'm staring one in the face. -Percy, THE LIGHTNING THEIF I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO "See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES "Well. . .See you." "Hold up! you can't just run off." "Sure I can." -Clarisse and Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES "It's all right. We just had a family spat." "Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES Now Thalia and Nico would have to haul my useless butt through the rest of the mission. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES ''Maybe if we push her over." - Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth "Your a half-blood too?' "Look, I'm really sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you out or anything." "No, no. Rainbows. Very macho." - Leo , The Lost Hero "Rainbows, ponies." "Annabeth! I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it." - Will, The Lost Hero "Vulcan? I dont even LIKE Star Trek." Leo, The Lost Hero "Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom." - Piper, The Lost Hero If you will always believe PERCY JACKSON is the best Greek hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile!!!! Doesn't every true fan of Percy Jackson have this on their page?(again copied from Percabeth1fanner) Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus. Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace. Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen. Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.) Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth. Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother. Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus. Chiron. Trainer of heroes. Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason. Son of Neptune. The book we couldn't wait for. Olympus. Home of the gods. Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death. Atlas. Zoe's father. Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO. Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.) Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus. Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;) Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times. Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers. Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about Morpheus. The god of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO. Persephone. Kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance. Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates. Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia. Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods. Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp Percy jackson stuff NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! Percy Jackson updated his status some more reasons NOT to go on an airplane. Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom 1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore 2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know 3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does? 4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding. 5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin' 6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory... 7. Passengers on the left side of the plane - does that engine sound funny to you? 8. Good God Steve! We're going to crash! Oops - is this intercom on? 9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another... 10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain. 11. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school... The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy I promise to remember Annabeth I promise to protect nature I promise to remember Luke I promise to remember Chiron I promise to remember Tyson I promise to remember Thalia I promise to remember Clarisse I promise to remember Bianca I promise to remember Nico I promise to remember Zoë I promise to remember Rachel Yes I promise to remember PJO see if you can read this: This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on. You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… -You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. -There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” -Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. -When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. -You burn food to see if it smells good. -You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” -Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family. -You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda… -You sometimes try to control water. -You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. -You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. -Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent. -You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat. -You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video -Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is -You are a PJO character for Halloween. -Recite lines randomly from the books. -When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it -Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related. -You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol. -You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. -You have dreams about PJO characters/events (I always dream about me being a demigod!). -You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.(I always play with it and my friends scold me) -That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. -In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!" -You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" -When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!" -You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. -You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies -And when you flunk said test, you blame Athena's irritation on Percabeth. These all cracked me up and I had to copy and paste them... feel free to do the same!! Yeah i copied most of this from a awesome person so they are awesome. but every single thing on this is so true. ADDITIONAL HINTS : - You can never look at a pen without thinking its Riptide -You're suddenly interested in plastic hairbrushes(especially blue) -You can never look at a coin the same way again -You can not look at a tool belt normally -You blame Phobos for your phobias -You secretly thank Hades when someone annoying dies -You are now afraid to use a cellphone -You thank Hermes for the Internet -You yell at the doctor for having Hermes' symbol when he is not the god of medicine -You blame Apollo when you get sick -You thank him afterwards coz you can't attend school -You are now claustrophobic -You ask for blue food in resturants -You can not look at a thermos the same way again -You claim that you're dyslexic and ADHD (Even though you're not) -You try to breathe underwater -You dream of Nico every night -You check if the ship you are boarding is the Argo II -You use PJO in conversations -You look up the Underworld in Google Maps -You are listing pros/cons of being a demigod during English/Math test -You are now afraid of airplanes -You now like enchiladas -You try to control elements -You track down Rick Riordan so you could have the rights to PJO -You respect eye patches -You start calling your dog Mrs. O' Leary -You yell Daedalus whenever someone asks who is the greatest inventor -You cuss in Greek -You try to conjugate Latin verbs -You try to jump on a 100 ft below waterform praying to Poseidon -You can never look at wool the same way again -Your dog is now Mrs. O' Leary -You ask stores if they sell Mythomagic Cards -You can NEVER look at a guinea pig w/o thinking its Percy -You have a new interest on emo people -You like Nemo -You listen to songs that somehow got connected to PJO -You hate cows -You now look like Nemo -You join rallies -You are now addicted to peanut butter -You dedicate Girl on Fire to Leo -You yell "PEANUT BUTTER" during school competitions -You keep coins in your pocket just in case you die -You curse Gaea when you trip on a rock -You think that every wheel-chaired male teacher is Chiron( You push him over to see if he's a centaur) -You also think that crippled kids are satyrs( you take away their crutches) -You warn the bullies that your godly parent will come after them -You try to talk to fish(even if your biology teacher thinks you're completely mental) -You are now officially Nemo -You yell "BURRITO FIGHT"in mexican resturants -You tell people to turn into iguanas when they can't solve Chinese handcuffs -You began to respect tofu -You dress up as a demigod for Halloween (so true) -You copy and paste all of this to your profile Six truths in life: 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility 2. All idiots, after reading this will try it 3. And discover that its a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon repost this for another idiot to see 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face Okay so that stuff was copied from a friend. I swear I did all of that crap. ALSO I HAVE A NEW VIDEO OF NICO! *suddenly fangirls*
Also a bunch of reviewers asked me about my life (no one really asked me that). So, my life. Okay my name is Jan, (Jason, Jacob, Grim. Take your pick. I'm still annoying whatever you call me) and you're probably wondering why I have stupid nicknames. Blame my friends. So, I like black, blue, purple and orange. I LOVE rock music, so don't ask me about pop, because I don't give a GAMO. (you are probably wondering what GAMO means. There's Google Translate, it's popular) Also, I love Nico (uh, no. I'm kinda obsessed with him, so sue me) and I know he's gay. I have a pillow and a teddy bear named after him. Oh, and this halloween... I'm dressing up as a DEMIGOD! (fangirls again) Anyways, that's all you need to know of my life. I hope all is HADES with you. Pledge to the Gods: I promise to remember Ares 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" Did you know... 1) Kissing is healthy. 2) Bananas are good for period pain. 3) It's good to cry. 4) Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 5) 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. 6) Lying is actually unhealthy. 7) You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. 8) It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 9) 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. 10) It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. 11) Chocolate will make you feel better. 12) Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. 13) A good friend never judges. 14) A good foundation will hide all hickeys...not that you have any. 15) Boys aren't worth your tears. 16) We all love surprises. 17) Now...make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH. Your wish has just been received. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next fifteen minutes and... Your wish will be granted. A library is a somewhat easy place to annoy the people sitting around you, but for those of you with less then stellar creativity, we have made a list of things you can do... 1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly. 2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you. 3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!" 4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like your reading it. 5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!" 6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When they says something like "what?", cut them off by saying "Are you accusing me of something?" 7. Read your book. Upside down. 8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way. 9. Flip the page every two or so seconds. 10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book." 11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it." when he/she looks at you. 12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced Déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?" 13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet." 14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (_) and I'm really glad to meet you." 15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum. 16. Ask him/her what species he/she is. 17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet. 18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!" 19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut them off by saying, "No it isn't!" 20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow! That was a good one!" 21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, or a beep. 22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page. 23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asked what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe." 24. Spell every single word as you read it. 25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading. 26. Act like you're picking your nose. And eating it. 27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit. 28. Sneeze a lot. 29. Hold your book right next to your eyes. 30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down. 31. Stand up, and continue reading. 32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it. 33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it. 34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon. Then dig in messily, and crunch on it. 35. Ask them, "Got milk?" 36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. But be able to pronounce hard words. 37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again. 38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game. 39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is. 40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look like you re attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead. 41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to spray it into your mouth. 42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume. 43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book. 44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?" 45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG!!! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!" 46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what you did last summer." 47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords. 48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened. 49. Start singing "This is the song that never ends. . ." 50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose count every ten or so. 51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then say to the person next to you, "I took singing lessons!" 52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, "Hey! How ya doin'? That's great, me too." 53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer! 54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, "I have mail!!" 55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, "I measure sock by thickness!" 56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards. When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages. 57. State proudly that you have been to the "other" side. Give no explanation. 58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back up like nothing happened. 59. Collapse on the floor. Then get up like nothing happened. When the person next to asked what is wrong, look at him/her with an inquiring look on your face, and say, "What do you mean?" 60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so weird." When they ask, "What?" say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back now." 61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say, "Never mind." 62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them as if you were electrocuting them, say, "BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!. . ." 63. Start arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to, say, "Your just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!!!" 64. Say, "Who's Freddie?" Then act like you didn't say anything. 65. Say, "Argh! My central nervous system in shot! Quick! Give me blue china!!!" 66. Introduce your self by saying, "Hi! I'd like a hamburger, and a green South America please." When they ask what your problem is, say, "Ohh, your not my fairy god mother? I'm sorry, he must have flown into the bookcases. Bye!" and run off. 67. Continuously rub a book while chanting, "Come out, come out. I know you're in there!" When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm calling the book genie out!" 68. Run up to them with a book, thrust it under their nose and ask, "Will you sign my autograph?!?" Make sure you say MY. 69. Get up onto the table, and start acting like a duck. When they ask what you're doing, say happily, "I'm roosting!" 70. Bring a bottle of glue and sniff it while counting down from a very high number. When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm counting my brain cells!" 71. Stick a "kick me" sign on your back, and accuse them of putting it their. 72. Repeat every thing they say to you. 73. Ask them, "Have you ever had an orange juice bath?" When they look at you strangely, say, "What?" 74. Look up suddenly and yell, "Ohh no!" When they ask you what happened, say, "Nothing." Then do it again. 75. Stare accusingly at the other person, and when they look at you, say, "Where were you on the night of February 32, 1989?!" 76. Look at one page number, then a different one. They say in astonishment, "Wow! The page numbers are in order! Cool! They guy who came up with that musta been a genius!!" 77. Glance over your shoulder every few seconds. 78. Maintain a look of horror constantly, but act normal other wise. 79. Say to him/her, "You have the right to remain silent!" 80. Pat your stomach and say, "Whoa. Human extremities do not settle well." 81. Get a child's book like "Green Eggs and Ham" and complain that there is no glossary. 82. Find a thesaurus and say in complete astonishment, "Wow! Did you know that "affirmative" and "yes" mean the same thing?" 83. Say, "Omph!" like you were just shot, and while smushing a ketchup pack on your chest, fall on the floor. Then get back up like nothing happened. After that, look at your stomach, and say, "What? How'd this stain get here?" while motioning to the ketchup. I LOVE that Library thing! Repost this: They Hurt Her Carmen Winstead was a young girl who died when she was pushed down the sewer by five girls she thought were her friends. Carmen was 17 years old when her parents decided to move to Indiana. Her father had lost his job and the only way he could find new employment was by moving to a new state. The relocation caused a lot of problems for Carmen. She had to leave her friends behind and attend a whole new school in Indiana. Carmen had a hard time making friends when she changed schools. It was the middle of the school year and most of the students had no interest in befriending the new girl. Initially, she spent many days alone, walking from class to class without speaking to anyone, but she eventually started hanging around with a group of five other girls. Carmen thought these girls were her friends, but it wasn’t long before she discovered that they had been talking about her behind her back and spreading vile rumors. When she confronted them, the girls turned on her and began bullying her every day, making her life a misery. They started out calling her names, but then the bullying got much worse. One day, she left her school books in the classroom at break time. When she returned, she found someone had taken a sharpie and written dirty words all over her books. Another day, she opened her bag and discovered someone had poured yoghurt all over the insides. Sometimes, she would come to school and find her locker had been vandalized. The final straw came when she put on her coat at recess and found that someone had stuffed dog poop in her pockets. There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life. After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole. They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!" All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom. The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong. Dead Wrong. Months later, Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure. A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loud noise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains. Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off. They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whether it’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off. So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. They hurt her... (When I read this it made me all paranoid, so I decided to repost it. And it's a cool story, honestly.) Yes, it's so creepy... Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY: 1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy." 2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop." 3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" 4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!" 5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?" 6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy." 7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex." 8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?" 9. "Damn, there go the lights again..." 10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them." 11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?" 12. "Ooooops!" TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher. TEACHER: Manic, what did we say about loud voices?! MANIC: You didn't say anything about drums. TEACHER: *explodes* If you have ever ran into a door, copy this to your profile. If you have had converstations with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this to your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you hate back stabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have fallen down the stairs, copy this to your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile. 95% of girls would cry if Justin Bieber were kidnapped, copy/paste this into your profile if you're part of the 5% that is torturing your new prisoner!! 95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber jumped of a cliff, copy/paste this onto your profile if you're part of the 5% that would bring popcorn!! 97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Patterson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy and paste this to your profile. 95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 story tall building about to jump. 4% brought popcorn, friends, and chairs. 1% pushed him off the building. If you are part of the 4 or 1% copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm the 1%!) Johnny Brought A Gun To School Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Hi, my name is Amy Bruce. I am 7 years old, and have severe lung cancer. I also have a tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings. Doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation has agreed to pay 7 cents for every time this message is sent on. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but those of you who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a heart. Re-send this, help her. A 15 year old girl holds hands with her one-year-old son. People call her a slut. Nobody knows she was raped at the age of 13. People call another guy fat. Nobody knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man ugly. Nobody knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't. Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night his friend talked him out of suicide See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. Re-Post this if u r against bullying. I bet 95% of u won't. This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyone's nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it. That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head. When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her." If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. My Favorite Quotes "I may have done it, but you can't prove it!" "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." "Mischief managed." "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" "With great power, comes great need to nap. Wake me up later." Don't follow in my footsteps. It's for your own good. I walk into walls. Consciousness- that confusing place between naps. "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Einstein If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. -Benjamin Franklin Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars. Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? What ever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Whatever doesn't kill ME, had better run like heck! In a British University, a final exam question on Business was:"Define what risk is". The shortest answer ever at one word was :"This." The student handed the essay in and got 100. Wherever I throw it, that’s where it belongs. The voices in my head don’t like you. If I can’t be a good example, I’ll just have to be a horrible warning. Welcome to the dark side. Why are you surprised we lied about the cookies? But ask Peeta, maybe he made some. Gravity is the only law I feel compelled to obey. " Good friends make sure you don't do stupid things. Best Friends not only do stupid things with you, they encourage you to do them." I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. That's what may friend thinks. She always seems to need some when I'm around... Be yourself, no one can say you’re doing it wrong. I don’t have ADHD, I just… oh look! A bunny rabbit! I have ADHS… Attention Defici… Hey! Shiny! Every time I think I’ve hit rock bottom somebody hands me a shovel. If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?! Crazy? I was crazy once, I had my own padded room. Then the worms came….Worms? I hate worms, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once… “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”- Albert Einstein My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems. I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger… then it hit me. I took it pretty hard. Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish. Why won't the stupid fish drown already!? Your're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and missed. I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone. Reality seems like a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. I thought you were my knight in shining armor, but you turned out to be a loser in tinfoil. Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. "Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead... One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable? There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird. "It's always in the last place you look" Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor". A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. *sniffle, sniffle* she always stuck by me the most The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. Right when you get to the good part of your dream. What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing. I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead. Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Screw fire and save matches!! Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs dont make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed. My apple always seems to go off course. Bummer. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. I hear your silence loud and clear. According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Especially when you give them the creepy smile and the quiet snicker. Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week. Procrastinators Unite! Tomorrow... I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. What do you mean my birth certificate expired? My mind works like lightning . . . .one brilliant flash and it's gone. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . . If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me. Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. That There was the definition of my life. If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up. He who laughs last didn't get it. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you. Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life? Be insane- well behaved people never made history. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. I'm not random . . . you just can't think as fast as me. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you!" The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . . Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. "Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!" When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and leave life to wonder how the heck you did it. When life gives you lemons, ask for some water and sugar or your gonna make some pretty crappy lemonade. When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eyes. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss. Don't you dare tell me the sky's the limit, when there are FOOTSTEPS on the Moon. Girls are like phones- We like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button and you'll be disconnected! Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright. When in doubt, check a fortune cookie. It is right 5% of the time. People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it. You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Immaturity is the best kind of maturity. Relax. Nothing is okay. The cops never find it as funny as you do. What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding. I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat. I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me? I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept! An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... So HA! Team Basilica forever! I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly. As long as it isn't Edward. The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Dear math I don't want to solve your problems I have my own to solve." "Some people need a high five... in the face... with a chair." "It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up." "Algebra I'm not going to find your X she's not coming back!" When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7 Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Holding Hands- Girls: If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once. Cuddling- Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. Guys: Automatically move closer to her. Movies- Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder. Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her. Loving each other- Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it. Laying below the stars- Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you think it's cute. No Means No "Can we have sex right now? Girl: "Can we do what?" Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?" Girl: "Um...no." Guy: "Why?" Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend..." Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won't tell." Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first." Guy: "I'm not special to you?" Girl: "You're my friend. That's all." Guy: looks forward and keeps driving. 5 minutes pass... Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh. Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me.". Guy: tries to kiss her. Girl: screams, "Would you stop." Guy: continues trying. Girl: moves to the back seat Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl. Starts to kiss her. Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this." Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants. Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't." Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get". Girl: crying, continues to fight. Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down. Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!" Guy: puts his hand over her mouth. An hour passes... Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off. Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, crying. Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek. Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now." Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home. 2 months later... Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months." Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason." Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive. Doctor: "You are pregnant." Girl: faints. The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you." The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant...then he lied about it. So completely depressed...the girl commits suicide by drug overdose... Girls, if this story touched/made you sad, put this on your profile under "No means no" Guys, if this story pisses you off, put this on your profile under "I'll kill any fucker who does this to my girl or any girl" i wish i had a boyfriend that would do these things... What a TRUE boyfriend would do for you: When she walks away from you mad When she stare's at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she start's cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignore's you When she pull's away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lay's her head on your shoulder When she steal's your favorite hat When she tease's you When she doesnt answer for a long time When she look's at you with doubt When she say's that she like's you When she grab's at your hands When she bump's into you When she tell's you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Call her before you sleep and after you wake up - Treat her like she's all that matters to you. - Tease her and let her tease you back. - Stay up all night with her when she's sick. - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid. - Give her the world. - Let her wear your clothes. - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. - Let her know she's important. - Kiss her in the pouring rain. - When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you post this in the next 4 minutes you crush will: Awww...love this Really Dumb Store labels: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (too late ) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (thank you captain obvious . . .) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (no comment . . .) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Oh yeah because many kids are driving cars and operating machinery these days . . .) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that kinda the point??) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (okay that made me curious, what other use??) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (captain obvious has returned!!) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon :P) On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Additional stupid labels: On an Imop: Please reading if you needing. (What the hell) On some food products: Do not keep refrigerated. Best served when cold. (yeah, you're supposed to keep it in an icebox, not a refrigerator. so stupid) On cigarette packs: Government warning: Smoking is dangerous to your health. (yet officials smoke) On cheese and yoghurts: Warning: Contains milk products. (DUH) On sunblocks: Keep away from the sun.(uh...what?) On powders: Warning: Keep away from nose and mouth to avoid inhalation.(yet people put powder on their faces) On alcohols: Do not swallow. (seriously?) Overheard on the Argo II: Puns Percy: Boy, there sure is something...fishy...going on, isn't there? Annabeth: Indeed, it'd probably be...wise...to avoid any trouble. Nico: No, stop this right now. Jason: My, what a... shocking... development Leo: Oh, things sure are...heating...up alright. Nico: Zhang, make them stop, please. Frank: Alright guys, you heard Nico, just let me be... Frank... with you. Nico: You're all idiots, Piper: I don't know, i find them quite.. Nico: Don't you dare! Piper: ...Charming. Hazel: I'll say. These puns are pure... gold. Nico: You're all dead to me. FRIENDS Friends: Lend you an umbrella. Best Friends: Takes yours and runs away screaming, "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!!" Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink Best Friends: Are the reason your fridge is empty. Friends: Would bail you out of jail. Best Friends: Would be sitting there next to you saying, "THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!" Friends: Would help you up after you tripped. Best Friends: Would help you up after you tripped, but only after their done laughing... yeah... don't count on getting helped up... Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days, then returns it. Best Friends Borrows you stuff, loses it, and tells you, "my bad... here's a tissue." Friends: Know only your favorite things. Best Friends: Could write an embarassing autobiography on your life story. Friends:Will comfort you when your crush rejects you. Best Friends Will walk right up to your crush and say, "it's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS Will teach me how to drive FRIENDS Will go to the rock concert with me FRIENDS: Will hide me from the cops FRIENDS Will let me make a fool of myself in public Artemis Fowl I love you! There. It's out. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'mBLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you'reGREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man sat and the white man walked away... One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class who was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? I thought to myself. He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I just shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, and he said yes. We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscle with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed, and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation, and I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Sometimes, I was even jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach . . . but mostly your friends . . . I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. You now have two choices. You can either, 1. Put this on your profile. Or 2. Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1. 'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. BOYS SHOULDN'T CHEAT! There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack. Jack was the most popular guy in school. The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLY liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did! Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to. One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies. Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time. Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney. Ashley sat right behind them. she watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre. Courtney told jack "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied "heck yes." Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window. Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing. The next day at school Ashley wasn't there. For the next few days Ashley wasn't there. A week later her mother found her in her closet dead... she commited suicide because she had loved Jack so much. Next to ashley's dead body was a note. A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you. I never thought you would do something like this to me. I really loved you Jack. I died for you just like Jesus died for us. Always with you, Ashley Please foward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney. Thank you. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Gosh, now I'm scared, so here it is A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. COME TO MY PARTY! THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD! There will b a DJ , I'm throwing a party... everyone is invited! So everyone come. But read the rest of this bulletin first. Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever. DETAILS BELOW.. Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father, Featuring DJ Holy Spirit. When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven Where: Kingdom of Heaven How: Just Ask Why: Because God Loves You! ... Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul. 98 OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2 WHO WILL. Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father." Repost as COME TO MY PARTY! You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. My other pseudonym: Asdfghjkl And I'm a GMAD member and I have a new youtube account too ... | |||||||
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