This is my first fanfic and so constructive criticism and advice is strongly encouraged.

Sadly, I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus or there would be a llama invasion by book two.

The Adventures of a Lovesick Idiot: Seriously Overpriced Coffee

"She loves me,

I'm awesome.

She loves me,

I'm awesome.

She loves me…"

Petals littered the air as he continued his ritual. Leo had fallen in love and he had fallen hard.

At first, he did things traditionally by saying, 'She-Loves-Me and She-Loves-Me-Not.'

But after thinking about it (Yes people, Leo does think), he decided that he was really awesome and hot and a sexy beast. Eventually Leo started saying,

"She loves me,

I'm awesome.

She loves me,

I'm hot.

She loves me,

I'm smoking hot.

She loves me,

I'm sexy.

She loves me,

I'm a sexy beast…"

The truth was, Leo was really enchanted by Calypso. Sure she was still left on that little island of hers (O-gee-gee-a or something), but that didn't mean that he couldn't daydream about her. Right?

Eventually, Leo did run out of petals on the sunflower. He knew that he should've chosen roses because they were more romantic but Shrek used a sunflower and if Shrek used it, it was good enough.

"She loves me," Leo softly murmured. "She loves me." He floated around in a daze. "Does she really love me?" Leo was in a trance as he waltzed over to the cafe.

A pretty girl looked up from the cash register. Now people, if Leo was being himself, he would never give up an opportunity to madly flirt with a pretty lady but it seemed that after crashlanding on a certain beach and meeting a certain goddess, no one could seemed good enough.

"One short black please," Leo slurred while grinning like a mental patient.

"And would you like anything else with that?" the girl asked cordially.

"No, thank you." No thank you?! No thank you?! He looked down at his palms and then turned them around. What had he become?!

"That would be $4.50, please."

"You know I only ordered one, right?"

She frowned and gave an amused smile at the same time.

"That was one…"

Leo was starting to feel glum and miserable again. She had won the battle, but he would win the war when she saw what he put in his coffees.

"Can I get the coffee in an extra-large cup?"

"Do I want to know why?"

"Probably not."

"Well, in that case, it would be $4.75, please."

You guys must be thinking, short black? No way would Leo order a short black. But trust me, he had his reasons.

When the order arrived, he thought, 'This coffee had better be worth $4.75.'

Leo headed over to the counter where the cafe supplied sugar, creamer, whipped cream, syrups, sprinkles the usual paraphernalia you would find in a café.

Leo smirked. Let the games begin.

Leo slowly sipped his coffee.

The others were going to meet him soon and he would let them think that he was drinking coffee when in actuality he was drinking a beverage with 15 times the normal amount of sugar, creamer, syrups and sprinkles. Want to know why Leo asked for an extra-large cup? Well, the rest of the cup was filled to the brim with delicious whipped cream.

Leo watched as the Argo II pulled into the harbour. He hurriedly squeezed the lid back onto the coffee so that his drink wouldn't look suspicious in the least.

"They're here."

BRING ON THE FLAMES, COS UNCLE LEO'S HERE!

Please review and tell me what you think.