7 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH SMALL CHILDREN!!!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drwing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and ask for oranges

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and tell him to make his own lemonade

When life gives you lemons, throw at people you hate

If you think dumb blonde jokes wouldn't existing if the world knew about kids of Athena, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Percabeth is the best pairing EVER! paste this to your profile.

you think that the PJO series is the best series ever paste this to your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc, SeaweedBrain013, CloudyAlore, XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76, percabethatw, Julianna12345, AJnikegirl23

If you think the kids who steal lucky charms should just go away,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (haha!)

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. (whoops)

If you don't care when people make fun of you, but when someone makes fun of your friends you automatically think of numerous, painful ways to kill them, copy and paste.

If you ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have lots of "copy and paste this into your profile"-s, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fan Fiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are ready to stand up for what you believe in and not what other people tell you to believe, copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turnBLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

yay!

people are like slinkys, pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Men are like:

1. Laxatives, they irritate the crap out of you.

2. Bananas, the older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Weather, nothing can be done to change them.

4. Blenders, you need one, but your not sure why.

5. Chocolate bars, sweet smooth, and they usually head straight for your hips.

6. Commercials, you can't believe a word they say.

7. Department stores, their clothes are always 50% off.

8. Government bonds, they take soooooo long to mature.

9. Mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Popcorn, they satisfy you, but only for a while.

11. Snowstorms, you never k ow when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how it will last.

12. Lava lamps, fun to look at but not very bright.

13. Parking spots, all the good ones are taken the rest are handi-capped.

If you think that the PJO series is the best series ever paste this to your profile

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into yor profile.

IF YOU HATE PERACHEL AND LUKEABETH, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you love Percabeth, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Silendorf, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Gruniper, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you LOVE PJO then copy this onto ur profile

If you think that "Dumb Blonde" jokes wouldn't exist if everyone knew who Annabeth Chase was, post this on your profile

If you're a PJO or HO ultimate fan or demigod, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile. If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.

If you think LEO VALDEZ IS THE MOST AWESOME SON OF HESPHETEUS EVER, copy & paste

Pop Quiz:

What's your name?

Kelp-it-Up

Gender?

Female.

Age?

11

Birthstone?

Sapphire

Zodiac?

I'm a balanced Libra girl.

Astrological Sign?

The scales, as in equality.

Height?

4 feet, 8 inches.

Weight?

Go away... 82 IBs

Hair Color?

Dark brown, nearly black.

Are you in love?

sighs* yeah.

With who?

Curiousity killed the cat, did you hear?

Are you lying to me?

I guess you'll just never know.

Do you have an imaginary friend?

me and me.

Do you want an imaginary friend?

no.

Look to your left. What do you see?

Which side is my left side? Oh yeah. My bedroom door.

What were you doing at 6:45 this morning?

Sleeping.

What was the last thing you yelled?

"GET IN YOUR LINES!"

Do you believe in magic?

Yessiree.

Do you believe in faeries?

N ever, i believe in nymphs.

Who's your crush?

I want to crush you.

Have you ever fallen down a flight of stairs?

have you kissed a cow?

More than once?

have you?

What did you do when you got to the bottom?

punch you in the face.

When you fell down those stairs, where were you?

10 years in the future..

Type with your feet.

Fine:

'm typoin th my feeytsies! fele like idiot/QQ!

What I was trying to type:

I'm typing with my feetsies! Feel like idiot!

Was that fun?

Nope.

Run around the house. How do you feel?

I would, but...I'm... too... tired... and... lazy.

Do you own a credit card?

No, I think I'm under-aged.

Do you like to shop?

Sure.

What was the last thing you bought?

Macaroni and cheese.

Do you have any children?

No, silly. I'm not even in high school yet yet.

Are you married?

I want to marry my cat who's 7.

Who's your crush?

Haven't we been over this?

What's your favorite color?

Orange.

Favorite Animal?

Cats. Cats are so dang cute.

Favorite Fruit?

Oranges. No wait! Clementines! No! No wait, yeah, Tangerines.

Quick! You have to save the world!

Three words: Where's. My. Sword.

Someone has a knife to your back.

That was sudden.

Do you swear?

Yes.

Do your parents know you swear?

No.

What is open on your computer?

This page on my profile fanfiction, and someone else's profile.

Who was the last person you talked to and what did you say?

My dad. i said goodnight. he told menot to stay up too late. it's now.. not going to say for the dangers of household

Where are you?

On my bed in my house.

Look up. Now look back. What did you see?

The ceiling (no duh)and the blur of stuff on the walls as i move my head..

What was the last thing you ate?

Food.

What's your personality like?

Whatever.

Who do you have a crush on and will never have a chance with?

Shut up. You ask too many questions.

What was the last thing you thought?

I think a lot. I was thinking about these questions and what my eyebrows would look like green.

Do you sleepwalk?

Why? am i weird if i don't?

Do you sleep talk?

Yup. I also sleep slap.

What's the worst dream you've ever had?

Isolation.

Say "George Bush". What's the first thing that comes to mind?

A green bush named George. (srsly! i do)

You have a million dollars. What do you do with it?

I plan to create a money-making corporation based on computer software and protection. I would make millions more. I would take over the world and you would bow to me. Hopefully. i would also buy a mansion and stay at Caribbean Resorts.

What are you eating/ drinking now?

I'm not. But I wish I was eating.

What are you writing write now?

The answers to these questions.

Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say?

I'm getting dizzy. Stop spinning me.

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say?

I'm just... too... lazy..to... now. Another time?

What can you hear right now?

My computer.

Have a conversation with the closest living thing.

Picture me looking at my hands.
ME: Hi, uh, disgusting germs on my hands I haven't managed to scrub off.
THEM: . . .
ME: Shut up.

Turn on the TV. What's on?

If i did that right now, I'm screwed. But maybe the History Channel.

What when you were last using the computer?

Well, I'm using it now... The last time? A few milliseconds, maybe.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer :D

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If your reading fanfics when your supposed to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

When life gives you lemons, make apple jucie and let life wonder how the heck you did it!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous (Haven't done that, but I stop writing for a while because of a bad burn...you'll know why.)

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy & paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

i wish i had a boyfriend that would do these things...

What a TRUE boyfriend would do for you:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?" (DO this more often guys, I'd love it if had a boyfriend)

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

Stupid product labels:

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair; this also apparently befell someone).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a chainsaw: do not hold the wrong end of the chainsaw.

On a blowtorch gas bottle: Contents may catch fire. (Just let 'em go yup in flames)

Reflective Sunshades for car windshields: Do not drive with sun shade in place. (OK, so what is the sun shield for? Presumably, hanging out in your car, alone, sipping a 44-ounce fountain cup of Mountain Dew, air conditioning on, sun shade firmly in place, contemplating where you'll drive when the sun finally goes down)

A carton of eggs: This product may contain eggs. ( that's what those are!)

Vanishing Fabric Marker: the Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used checks or any legal document. (Well, that sure takes the fun of out it: After all, who doesn't like being handed a blank check?)

Jet Ski: Never use lit math or open flame to check fuel level.

Huebsch Washing Machine: Do not put People in this water. (First load: towels; second load: youngest daughter)

Apple's iPod shuffle: Do not eat. (Wow, just wow)

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.

PERCABETH FOREVER!!

LONG LIVE THE GODS!!

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

dont worry about the people in your past, theres a reason they didnt make it to your future.

some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but the still bring a smile to your face you push them down a flight of stairs.

"I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."

"Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film."

Quotes of Euripides 480 BC-406 BC:

Cleverness is not wisdom

No one can confidently say he will still be living tomorrow.

the greatest pleasure in life is love

There is just one life for each of us; our own

It is not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a fine husband

talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish

Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing.

silence is true wisdom's best reply.

Wealthy stays with us a moment if not at all: only our characters are steadfast not, not our gold

This is slavery, not to speak one's thoughts

Danger gleams like sunshine to a brave man's eyes.

Youth is the best time to be rich and the best time to be poor

10 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butts to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their butts!

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks if the bus has come yet. “Ya the bus already came that’s why I’m standing here waiting for the bus."

10. When you are in the library that has 39 other computers that no one is using, and the person chooses the one right next to you. It's like "Ya there's totally no other open computers."

If the plural of goose is geese, then shouldn't the plural of moose be meese?

The one time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I watched this movie where a serial killer, killed this guy's wife. Then later, a mass kidnapper steals his kid. So, the whole movie is just him trying to find his kid. Do you want to guess the title? Here's the answer: FINDING NEMO!!!

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What’d you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

You don't know when , but I will trip you. When you don't expect it- BAM- You've just been tripped.

I think that people in horror movies would still be alive if they just listened to me.

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to investigate each other?

I totally take back all those times that I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

It's cold and windy days like today, that make me glad that I put on pants this morning.

Recent surveys show that 100% of people that drink water die.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I didn't fall! I was testing gravity!

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I can resist anything but temptation.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

The term 'we are expecting' when talking about a child is weird. It makes it sound like there can be more than one outcome. "We are expecting a baby. But, it could be a veloceraptor."

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You laugh at me because I'm insane, I laugh cause you just figured it out.

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

POST THIS IS YOU HAVE WONDERED ANY OF THESE:

1. Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs?

2. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

7. Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?

10. If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you're the main witness, what if you say "no"?

14. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

16. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball? (I actually do this)

17. Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

18. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

19. Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it?

24. Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

25. When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

27. In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?

32. Why is it that on a phone or calculator, the number five has a little dot on it?

35. Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

37. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

38. If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

39. How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

40. Why aren't drapes double-sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?

41. Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

44. Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

56. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

57. If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

58. Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

58. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

59. If Mars had earthquakes would they be called Marsquakes?

65. How come lemon washing up liquid has real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings?

70. If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

71. In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

74. If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of scent?

80. What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?

85. Why are dogs noses always wet?

86. Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

89. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

90. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

92. Why does someone believe you when you say "there are more than four billion stars", but check when you say the paint is wet?

93. Can you cry under water? (Yes, i've done it in a pool)

97. Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?

100. Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer? (It's the POWER button, genius!)

103. When people say, 'you know what they say...' who is the 'they' they're referring to?

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS: watch the OW! channel on Hephaestus TV

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid

PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: roll their eyes at Zeus

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Copy and paste this to your profile if you know a book character that just HAS to exist.

If you want your favorite fictional characters to exist, copy and paste on your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan
-Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.
-The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.
-Children of rival gods can fall in love.
-No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.
-Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.
-Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.
-Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.
-The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.
-Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.
-Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.
-Math teachers really are evil.
-Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)
-It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.
-Elvis was a magician. No, really.
-Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.
-Boomerangs can cast spells.
-It's possible to gamble moonlight.
-Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise.
-Rainbows have power.
-If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you.
-Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.
-Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.
-If you want the current weather, watch the OW! channel on Hephaetus TV

You Know You're a Book Addict If:
-You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (If i've read it before)
-Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (why not?)
-You (try to)write fanfictions about the book. (Well, duh)
-You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (Even if they don't care!)
-You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I accidentally called a boy named Jacob, "Jessica" once. never read a Jessica before)
-Everything reminds you of the book. (yes)
-You quote random lines all the time. (yes)
-You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Yep. MAGIC!!!)
-You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character would do to escape the class. (Never, but i zone out thinking about Fanfics!)
-You have pictures of your favourite characters on your iPod. (Yup.)
-You've got a book memorized. (Yup!)
-You've read a book more than five times. (YAH!)
-You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (All the time.)
-You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (if he does maybe)
-You've plotted to murder a character and steal his/her boyfriend/girlfriend. (Never)
-You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (Well yeah!)
-Your idol is a character from a book. (yes. definitely.)
I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name (Bold everything you do)

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

ChildOfWisdom

Laserfire

JBaddict1234

SeaweedGirl1

Music4evaxoxo

Huntress of the sky

1 PERCY JACKSON FAN

AthenaGirl823

IHeartThePercyJacksonBooks

Kelp-it-Up

PLEASE READ. It's so sad!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

I didn't write it but when I saw it on somebody elses profile it touched my heart, so I had to repost. I hope you can repost as well.

6 Truths of Life
1. You can't look up at the ceiling and stick your tongue out at the same time, it is a physicaly impossible.
2. Congradulations to all the Idiots that just did it.
3. And discovered it was a lie.
4. Now you are smiling because you are now an Idiot.
5. You will repost this on your profile page for other Idiots to see.
6. YOU STILL HAVE THAT STUPID GRIN ON YOUR FACE! They hurt you!

Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

96 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Justin Biber was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 4 percent yelling JUMP ALREADY OR SO HELP ME I'LL COME UP THERE AND PUSH YOU MYSELF!!!!!

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you would stand up for your favorite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Invisibool, DeaMii22, Mythscaenger, puckabrina-percabeth-fax101, IHeartPercyJackson, kelp-it-Up

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way. when you criticize them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes

You like going to social events and mingling with people
You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there
You can Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:

Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."

Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"

Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"

Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "Where have you been all my life?"

Woman: "Hiding from you."

Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together."

Woman: "Really, I'd put F and U together."

Man: "Your eyes they're amazing."

Woman: "Seeing your back would be pretty amazing."

I love my mother because...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

You like wine