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![]() Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Naruto, and Transformers. Okay, I'll be totally honest: I'm pretty sure a lot of people have guessed that I'll probably never continue any of these stories. Especially the Naruto related ones. That fandom had up, jumped, and ran away from me years ago. I will probably still update the family, Leo-centric PJ one, and start a Transformers one soon but that'll probably be after I get used to this thing called College. So yeah. Really, really sorry for all those that actually liked those... err, fics. Even if they were written by a 13, 14 year old me with bad grammar and had basically no plot. At all... Haha. Anyway. Thanks for reading. I'll try to update slash publish something new for my own amusement and improvement soon. Frankly, a lot of the stuff after this sentence was pasted by HS me years ago. I'll probably delete a lot of them one day, but it's always nice and nostalgic to see hints of the kind of person I was through these posts. The Poem So never forget, You can never be too busy for the Lord. Its not a profile when you don't post random stuff in it! -Chocoloate addice = OH YEAH! No one can ever deny the awesome-ness of chocolate! - AntiSakura= I know she changed in the Shippuden part but still, first impressions last. (But if an author portrays her into something I find acceptable...) -I have this fear of sharp things... ask my Karate Sensei... -I have Black-brown hair and Brown eyes. -The most cool quote I heard and watched from the TV was 'The world is just awesome' (Discovery channel I think...) -My brother is addicted to History channel, and because of that I'm becoming a little addicted too... -Well, because of my semi-History fanatic self, I quickly fell inlove with Hetalia. VePAAASSSTAAAAA! -"There's always a reason." One of the qoutes that somehow affect how I lead my life. I used to jump to conclusions all the time but then... haha something changed. -I'm a Christian and proud of it. -I hate racists with passion. -Live a life worth living. -After reading so many fanfics about different opinions and views I've learned to appreciate other's choices. -I LOVE reading, whether it's fanfiction or books I just can't contain the thrill of finding out what's gonna happen next or predicting hundreds of posibilities of what's gonna happen next. -I like writing because I can actually write what I feel and all those other stuff and know what people think of it!...and I feel freakin' awesome whenever I can type without looking at the keyboard. *Laughs* -Okaay that was freakin deep. -I'm a Filipina and proud of it. Naruto Detective Conan Shaman King FairyTail YuGiOh X-men(a little) Merlin Danny Phantom DeathNote Teen Titans Percy Jackson and the Olympians Harry Potter Fablehaven Transformers Axis Powers Hetalia Meh that's all I can think of... (I actually did the bolded ones) 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours If you need a smile on your face read these... The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. "You know little bro? You should take care of your book, because a tree sacrificed it's life to give you education, let's just hope his sacrifice wasn't a waste shall we?" -me (I really don't know why I said that, me and my lil' bro were studying and stuff.) Is it time for your medication or mine? Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you. A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. To put it nicely, I hope you choke Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. A day without sunshine is like... night. God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it. When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell. Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness. I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone. The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING... Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing This is a space where you begin to think about what you've been doing in my profile and whether it's a waste of your precious life. Thinking time over, move on. Copy and paste this to your profile and add something to the list! · Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking. · Don't show off driving, if you want to race go to Indianapolis. · Excuses never please anyone but the person giving them. · Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. · There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. · Don't let what others think decide who you are. · Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone. (Look at my icon!) · You can know someone better in a moment of honesty than you ever can in a lifetime of lies. · Don't let your life wait for other people. · Dropping a cellular phone in a bathtub full of water kinda will kill the phone. · Your mother will find out if you dye your hair purple. · Don't ever fall in love with someone more than 1,000 miles away, it usually doesn't work. · If it hurts, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!! · If you fall on your friends rollerblades and end up with a huge scar on your leg from falling, don't use the same friends rollerblades again when you have brand new pants on! · What does not kill you will ultimately make you stronger. · Speaking in public gets easier with practice. · Don't do cheers off a diving board. · Ten years from now (or sometimes even next year) what we freak out about or are embarrassed by won't matter. · Zits always pop up when you really can't afford for them to pop up. · When in doubt, duck. When certain don't bother, cuz you're already screwed. · If your teacher tells you to quit talking after a test or he'll give you a zero for the test grade, he means it. Really. · Sometimes smart people can do very, very stupid things. · Nothing is ever too good to be true. · Instead of waiting for life to get better, do something about it. · You REALLY should do what needs to be done NOW, and not later. Procrastination is the easiest way, but not the most profitable. · If your intuition is telling you not to do something, then don't. Your intuition is not stupid!! · If he doesn't respect you, he's not worth any of your time. · Sticking things up your nose isn't the smartest idea in the world! · You can't light fireworks in the basement and not get caught. · Hair is flammable. VERY flammable. · Never ever trust your friend with a scissors against your hair. · White cats/dogs don't mix with black clothes. · Someday you will look back on this and it will all seem funny. · You never know when you're making a memory. · If you can laugh at yourself, you are going to be fine. · If you allow others to laugh with you, you'll be GREAT! · Kissing is the most fun thing. Dancing is almost as fun. · Chose your friends carefully, you are what they are. · There are two kinds of people in this world...those that play hopscotch and sing in the shower, and those that lie alone at night with tears in their eyes. Everyone has a choice as to which we want to be...and everyone is a little of both. · Milk crates make boring pets. · Never pierce your belly button in the dark...or with a safety pin. · Never, ever, EVER let someone of the opposite sex make you compromise your standards. Never. · Truly anything is possible when you follow your heart. The sky is no longer the limit. · God doesn't make junk. · Mistakes...we all make them. Sometimes if we're lucky, an eraser will do the trick, we can rub it across the page, wipe away the dust, and all that's left of our careless mess is a hardly noticeable smudge. But some mistakes can't be erased, no matter how old or young we are. · When you're 14 and don't even have your temps don't try driving...especially when all your friends are around watching. · Dance like no one is watching. · Write like no one is gonna read your words. · BE YOURSELF. It's hard to be someone else anyway. · Don't say something you wouldn't want your parents, God, or your crush to hear. · Even before you say sorry (volunteer or otherwise), think about how you would feel in their shoes. THEN you can properly say sorry · If you find out your boyfriend has been cheating on you, don’t go up to him in public, yell at him, and then slap him; it will make both of you look bad. Alternative: Talk with him, alone. And if you find out that he’s been cheating on you for more than a month, slap him as hard as you damn well can. -Storm Midnight · Never jump over a hurdle without experience or supervision, It hurts! - Mist Lionshade -True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else expects you to fall apart. -The longest journey begins with a single step. -Keep safe and defend mean the same thing, it's just people that use defend want to be fancy. So stick your toungue out at the "fancy people"!- Akatsuki Chef · When you fail, trying to do the same thing over an over again and expecting it to work is a sign of insanity. ·There are 2 types of people in this world, the kind that stand in the shadows hoping that someone else will fix their problems for them or the kind that makes a stand and does something about it. Who are you? ·Nothing is impossible unless you give up. ·If you do drugs you might as well jump off a building, either way you're dead! ·All humans are crazy, it just matters to what extent! -Deidara-kunisMine .Learn to love. Learn to live. And be nice to everybody. You might be having a bad day, and chances are, they are too. Copy and Paste stuff If you love God with all your heart and 100% proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’ If you seriously believe there is another world where all those Anime, Books, etc. etc. characters are true, copy and past this on your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. I believe: That everyone has special gifts from God, and that we need to honor and respect everyone equally. That Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior and that He came and died on the cross to take away my sins. That we all need to pick our friends wisely, but to not shun other people away just because they don't fit the status quo. That we all need to realize the effects of what we say and do. We have no idea what is going to happen when we say something and its taken the wrong way. Please be careful of what you say and do, because the effects might end up costing more than one life, especially if you are being offensive or insulting. That in whatever we do, God is there. All the time. Just call on His name. He's there A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" Dear Friend, I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you. Yesterday, I As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you. I spilled The next day I exploded a brilliant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. But I love you. Oh, if you'd only listen. I really love you. I try to say it in the quiet of My Dad sends His love. I want you to meet Him. He cares,too. Fathers are just Your Friend, Jesus In Greek Romans 8:38-39 If you believe in the ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD, Paste this into your profile πεπεισμαι γαρ οτι ουτε θανατος ουτε ζωη ουτε αγγελοι ουτε αρχαι ουτε δυναμεις ουτε ενεστωτα ουτε μελλοντα ουτε υψωμα ουτε βαθος ουτε τις κτισις ετερα δυνησεται ημας χωρισαι απο της αγαπης του θεου της εν χριστω ιησου τω κυριω ημων If you believe in Jesus Christ put this on your profile. He'll see it. Now I sit me down is school If you aren't ashamed to do this, I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying 1) Repost this message. If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts) Kit-Kat Punk-lover (I'm in love with Gaara, Near, Envy and Beyond! Hahaha Strangest characters I know!!) orochimarusbadgirl(... Orochimaru-sama, Mello, Edward Cullen, Hinata, Misa-Misa-chan, and...i hate to admit, sasuke uchiha.),xNatexRiverx(Kiba,Yuki,Tobi,Deidara,Near,L.) xMihaelxJeevasx(Matt,Mello,L,BB,Sabastian,Pein,Gaara,Itachi,Sasuke,Hayate), Shinka-chan (Gaara-kun, Wrath, Envy, Lee, Chopper, Sesshoumaru, L and gasp Sasuke), Deidara-kunisMine (Deidara, Lee, Neji, Itachi, Garra, Snape, Zuko, Zero, Hidan, L, Pein!), IReadNoNonsense (Deidara, Neji, Itachi, though I hate to admit it Sasuke, L, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin (when they were both young), either Fred and George.), Kiba. Murphy's 15 Other Laws... 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting 9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, 10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish 13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark. 15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. Percy Jackson Pledge: I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride" I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by side I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. Yes, I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go So all may see my obsession because I know what the Olympians know! YuGiOh stuff. Put this Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms. 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda. 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy. 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month." 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals. 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches. 13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor. 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends." 20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.) 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom. 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife. 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant. 33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur. 35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagal that she takes herself too seriously. 36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental 37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort. 38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.) 39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. In Remembrance …In Remembrance to Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold crap. …In Remembrance to Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his soul mate and brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? …In Remembrance to Dobby… …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauderer... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf. ….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end …In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! She deserved everything she got and more. …In Remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring. ...In Remembrance of Sirius Black... ...who was blamed about killing and yadda... ...But was sane enough to escape Azkaban after 13 years... ...Was probably the best Godfather ever if he had been sane... ...And a bloody awesome Marauder at that. ...In Remembrance of James Potter... ...who died protecting his family... ...and probably was an awesome Quidditch player... ...and a great prankster... ...that probably had a lot of detention in the process. ...In Remembrance of Lily Evans Potter... ...who was the mother Harry never knew... ... that drove men nuts that one joined the death eaters and the other just kept pranking... ...and was probably a pretty awesome mom too. A few quotes from stories. "Don't even try it," Hermione sighed, gesturing to the frustrated duelist with a wave of her hand, "He's been toying with that disk thing all morning. I keep trying to tell him that muggle technology just doesn't work on the school grounds." "Which is where you made your first mistake," Bakura chuckled, pulling out another sheet of parchment, "Tell Seto Kaiba he can't fly, and he'll build a customized jet. Tell Seto Kaiba McDonald's stops serving breakfast at 10:30 and he'll buy the place for a McMuffin. You don't tell Seto Kaiba what he can and can't do." Harry Potter and the Order of the Rising Dragon, by Guardian of the crest "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic of Japan. Please state who you are and what your purpose is here." -When Someone Won't Take No For An Answer by Shaun Garin "Well what do you know," said Seto with a smirk. "looks like science triumphs over magic any day." He then pulled out his cell phone, slipped another piece into the battery. His cell phone activated and he rang up a direct number. "Mokuba," he said. "Yes, I know it's late but I want you to send out the order to have small iron sheets being placed into the inner workings of all Kaiba Corp Technology. I know it'll make things heavier but it's needed. Yes, this is about the wizards. All right." Seto clicked off his cell phone. "Kaiba Corp is now working on getting everything insulated from magic." His grin turned fiendish. "The wizarding world is about to get pulled into the twenty first century kicking and screaming." A long pause from the unreality of the scenario. And then Bakura spoke. "I think I'm turned on." "BAKURA!" -When Someone Won't Take No For An Answer by Shaun Garin "Temari's right," Ino said, rolling her eyes. "We really could replace you with a button that said 'troublesome' and no one would notice the difference. -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281 "..they didn’t even bother to get their facts straight. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!” -Malik, The Clothes Make The Spirit by Amarin Rose On impulse, Harry... placed the mouse in front of the mirror. Silence reigned for a long time. -The Lesser of Two Evils: Year One by lasaireigh "Hi, my name is Bakura, those over there are Harry and Marik. Would you like to be our friend? We're planning to overthrow Hogwarts the War Machine." -Bit of a change by esama "Poor deluded brother-o'-mine," Fred said, shaking his head at the naivety that his twin was displaying. "everyone knows that the right is stronger; like the right hand of the law; the right hand man; right of way-" "I don't think that last one counts!" George stated. "Besides, those were all right hands. We, my dear brother, are talking about legs!" Fred and George (prankster's extraordinaire), were arguing over their self-proclaimed titles as the Dark Lord Harry's (and they really must convince the black-haired boy to change his name – who would quake in fear in front of a Dark Lord named Harry?) right and left leg men. "Fred, George?" Neville asked from where he had been eavesdropping on their conversation a few feet away. "Why are you guys the left and right leg men? I mean, isn't it supposed to be the right-hand man of the Dark Lord?" "Excellent question," Fred said "Indeed it was." George agreed. "You see, someone's right-hand –" "-and left-hand" George interrupted. "Yes, and left-hand men," Fred continued "are the leader's second in command, people the leader can count on to retain order and keep everyone in line when the leader isn't there." "Yeah..." Neville agreed. "So?" "So?" George repeated. "So we are the minions of the Evil Dark Lord of Chaos, Destruction and Mayhem! We won't keep things neat and organized as the hands of the Dark Lord ought to." "No, we will act as the legs; vital components of the Dark Order which will increase the chaos and disorder as we trip and stumble over things!" Fred continued. "And besides, a kick to where the sun don't shine via the legs is a far greater blow than some wussy slap the hands are only capable of." George added. Neville just nodded his agreement before slowly and carefully walking backwards, scolding himself in his mind for expecting a viable answer to his question. But then again, to the twins their logic was flawless as to why they called themselves the legs and not the hands of the Dark Lord Harry. With the interruption dealt with, Fred and George turned back to each other to finish their original debate of which was better – to be the right-leg man or the left-leg man of the Dark Lord. "The right side is the dominate side," Fred argued. "More destruction will be dealt from a kick with the right leg than the left leg could ever give out." "But because the left leg isn't the most used is what makes it the best for mayhem." George countered. "People would be less likely to expect a blow from the left leg, and more shake-ups result from the left. Besides – right is the side of order and goodness. Left if the only side to be for a Dark Order." Meanwhile, a majority of the people in the common room were trying unobtrusively make their way to the sign-up sheet the twins had posted about joining Harry's Dark Order. Maybe if they joined they wouldn't end up like Colin Creevey, and besides if Fred and George (who everyone considered to be nice and funny, if not a little annoying from time to time) were the right and left han-, errr leg men than maybe the Dark Order wouldn't be too bad. Fred and George continued their argument even as they watched their housemates sign-up from the corner of their eyes. They shared a knowing smile and resisted the urge to cackle evilly. Actually, they were part of the Evil Dark Order of Chaos, Destruction and Mayhem; they could cackle evilly whenever and wherever they wanted! As the twins threw back their heads and laughed evilly for apparently no reason, more people (especially the younger years) jumped up and ran to the sign-up sheet. Those laughs were scary, and if you couldn't beat them, then join them. -Strength of Brothers by MagicallyInclined
-Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 Dumbledore awarded Ron fifty points for the ‘best-played game of chess Hogwarts had ever seen’ despite the fact that there was really no objective way to measure something like that, Hermione fifty points for not poisoning herself or her classmates, Neville fifty points for lighting a rare and valuable plant on fire, and Harry got sixty points for not telling a responsible adult about Quirrell’s attempt to steal the stone and for endangering several of his classmates. Of course, Dumbledore might have phrased it slightly differently, but it was still blatant favoritism. -Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 “So who are you then, if you’re not Harry Potter?” Fred asked skeptically. “And why do you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead?” -Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 “I’ve come back from the future,” Harry deadpanned. -Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 Seto glanced around the room. "You are wearing matching apparel. You all seem to be carrying similar accessories and I am willing to bet that you have some insane belief about the supernatural. And since you are actively recruiting new members," he indicated Yugi, Ryou and Bakura, "You are a cult." -Shadow of the Phoenix by Calamitynexus “Hey, everyone watch out for this puddle. They’re always easy to miss on days when it hasn’t rained in a week.” -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281 “I never killed my clan. I was considered a prodigy to them, and gained legions upon legions of fangirls. One day, they had overheard Shisui declaring that he was better than me, and I later found his corpse, mangled by the raging women, and the grief over my best friend’s death unlocked my Mangekyo. I quickly hurried to my clan compound, where I saw it in flames. Apparently the president of my fanclub had heard that the Uchiha Clan hadn’t thought I was that great, and were going to train my brother to be better than me. So, the girl had gathered her fangirl army and attacked the Uchiha clan. There was only one survivor, that of Sasuke. I used my Mangekyo to trap his mind in the Tsukiyomi (Moonreader/Goddess of the Moon) world to turn him into an angsty bastard, hoping that would save him from the horror that was the fangirls, before escaping to make it look like I really had killed the clan. Akatsuki offered me the one thing that the Uchiha clan could not. They offered me… sanctuary from the fangirls.” -Itachi, The Calamity of the Sorceressby Kyrrlatur. "Even if these two were almost ridiculously out of our league, they still are more than simple bandits and I strongly suspect that they aren't squirrels. They could be working for squirrels though. Is there any reason a squirrel might be out to kill you?" Kakashi asked gravely. -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281 Bakura's prediction proved to be true. Over the next few days Kaiba would only speak when spoken too and it did not take long for the initiator of the conversation to regret their actions. He did not socialize with anyone. Instead he spent his time hammering away on his laptop. When Mrs. Weasley had pointed out that it was rude to play with his Muggle toys instead of helping around the house Kaiba had launched into a tirade about the difficulties of running a multibillion dollar corporation form the other side of the world in a house ruled by cult members. After that no one spoke to him. -Shadow of the Phoenix by Calamitynexus Harry Potter sat on the stool and carefully placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artifact of forgotten magic. Thinking, just as hard as he could: Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover the lost magics that created you? And the Sorting Hat answered, "No. Yes. No. No. Yes and no, next time don't ask double questions. No." and out loud, "RAVENCLAW!" "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." What? "I'm allergic to your hair shampoo -" And then the Sorting Hat sneezed, with a mighty "A-CHOO!" that echoed around the Great Hall. "Well!" Dumbledore cried jovially. "It seems Harry Potter has been sorted into the new House of Achoo! McGonagall, you can serve as the Head of House Achoo. You'd better hurry up on making arrangements for Achoo's curriculum and classes, tomorrow is the first day!" "But, but, but," stammered McGonagall, her mind in nearly complete disarray, "who will be Head of House Gryffindor?" It was all she could think of, she had to stop this somehow... Dumbledore put a finger to his cheek, looking thoughtful. "Snape." Snape's screech of protest nearly drowned out McGonagall's, "Then who will be Head of Slytherin?" "Hagrid." Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover the lost magics that created you? There was a brief pause. Hello? Do I need to repeat the questions? The Sorting Hat screamed, an awful high-pitched sound that echoed through the Great Hall and caused most of the students to clap their hands over their ears. With a desperate yowl, it leapt off Harry Potter's head and bounded across the floor, pushing itself along with its brim, and made it halfway to the Head Table before it exploded. "SLYTHERIN!" Seeing the look of horror on Harry Potter's face, Fred Weasley thought faster than he ever had in his life. In a single motion he whipped out his wand, whispered "Silencio!" and then "Changemyvoiceio!" and finally "Ventriliquo!" "Just kidding!" said Fred Weasley. "GRYFFINDOR!" "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." What? "Ordinarily I would refer such questions to the Headmaster, who could ask me in turn, if he wished. But some of the information you've asked for is not only beyond your own user level, but beyond the Headmaster's." How can I raise my user level? "I'm afraid I am not allowed to answer that question at your current user level." What options are available at my user level? After that it didn't take long - "ROOT!" "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." What? "I've had to tell students before that they were mothers - it would break your heart to know what I saw in their minds - but this is the first time I've ever had to tell someone they were a father." WHAT? "Draco Malfoy is carrying your baby." WHAAAAAAAT? "To repeat: Draco Malfoy is carrying your baby." But we're only eleven - "Actually, Draco is secretly thirteen years old." B-b-but men can't get pregnant - "And a girl under those clothes." BUT WE'VE NEVER HAD SEX, YOU IDIOT! "SHE OBLIVIATED YOU AFTER THE RAPE, MORON!" Harry Potter fainted. His unconscious body fell off the stool with a dull thud. "RAVENCLAW!" called out the Hat from where it lay on top of his head. That had been even funnier than its first idea. "ELF!" Huh? Harry remembered Draco mentioning a 'House Elf', but what was that exactly? Judging by the appalled looks dawning on the faces around him, it wasn't anything good - "PANCAKES!" "REPRESENTATIVES!" "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." What? "I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto." "ATREIDES!" "Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!" "PICKLED STEWBERRIES!" "KHAAANNNN!" At the Head Table, Dumbledore went on smiling benignly; small metallic sounds occasionally came from Snape's direction as he idly compacted the twisted remains of what had once been a heavy silver wine goblet; and Minerva McGonagall clenched the podium in a white-knuckled grip, knowing that Harry Potter's contagious chaos had infected the Sorting Hat itself. Scenario after scenario played out through Minerva's head, each worse than the last. The Hat would say that Harry was too evenly balanced between Houses to Sort, and decide that he belonged to all of them. The Hat would proclaim that Harry's mind was too strange to be Sorted. The Hat would demand that Harry be expelled from Hogwarts. The Hat had gone into a coma. The Hat would insist that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accomodate Harry Potter, and Dumbledore would make her do it... Minerva remembered what Harry had told her in that disastrous trip to Diagon Alley, about the... planning fallacy, she thought it had been... and how people were usually too optimistic, even when they thought they were being pessimistic. It was the sort of information that preyed on your mind, dwelling in it and spinning off nightmares... But what was the worst that could happen? Well... in the worst-case scenario, the Hat would assign Harry to a whole new House. Dumbledore would insist that she do it - create a whole new House just for him - and she'd have to rearrange all the class schedules on the first day of term. And Dumbledore would remove her as Head of House Gryffindor, and give her beloved House over to... Professor Binns, the History ghost; and she would be assigned as Head of Harry's House of Doom; and she would futilely try to give the child orders, deducting point after point without effect, while disaster after disaster was blamed on her. Was that the worst-case scenario? Minerva honestly didn't see how it could be any worse than that. And even in the very worst case - no matter what happened with Harry - it would all be over in seven years. Minerva felt her knuckles slowly relax their white-knuckled grip on the podium. Harry had been right, there was a kind of comfort in staring directly into the furthest depths of the darkness, knowing that you had confronted your worst fears and were now prepared. The frightened silence was broken by a single word. "Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat. At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?" "I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office -" Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality By Less Wrong "I'VE DONE IT!" Kaiba's voice rang out from across the Great Hall. "What now?" Hermione asked. Over at the Slytherin table Kaiba was turning his computer on, and it turned on. The hum of technology rang for the first time through the Great Hall. "Say hello to modern science, you cave men!" Kaiba shouted in a delighted voice. Bridging the Gap by ahilty “Very well,” Misato agreed and started leading them toward an archway. “The roasted termites are probably about done, but they won’t stay crispy for long.”Naruto paused for a moment as his brain struggled with some disconcerting mental images. He swallowed heavily and silently renewed his vow to do nothing that would spoil the evening.“She has an… unusual sense of humor,” Shino muttered quietly as he fell into step next to him. --Team 8 by S'TarKan A few quotes from random people in this site I haven't really read yet but just added it here because I found them very amusing: "When it comes to Bloodline Clans, Konoha is the only Hidden Village in the entire world to truly embrace its mutant freaks."-- Catch 22 by The Sh33p "The reason why tree climbing so damn hard for you is 'cause your trying to get your damn foot to become attracted to the damn tree so you'll stick, and let's be blunt here: There's no chemistry between the two." Sasuke smiled involuntarily. Naruto had an odd way of saying things "So, not only are you tryin' to force a relationship that is in the dumps, you're also tryin' to fight the big daddy, gravity."--For The Love of My Friends by Foxie-sama "Guy slowly raised his eyes but continued eating ramen as fast as possible. Guy could now see it. The man behind the mask, the holy light, the full face of his rival Kakashi Hatake. Such beauty, such splendor, such a distraction that at that moment Guy bit off is tongue. Girly screams followed by blood filled the air."-- Ridiculous Challenge: Guy Sensei vs. Kakashi Sensei by Cow Ninja “But Hokage-sama, you can’t possibly expect me to work with him. he’s lazy, he’s always late, and… and… he’s a PERVERT.” Yelled Kurenai. Kakashi looked at Kurenai with annoyance. “I am not lazy.” --Second Chances, by Cybergades "What would you do, when you can’t tell the difference between yourself and the mask you wear?" -- The Red Sun by Kaen307 “When I am able to stand again,” Gaara said flatly, his words nearly lost in the howl of wind, his eyes half-closed and sand whipping about and smacking Naruto in the face, “I am going to kill you, and it will not be quick.” --The Nine Broken Mirrors by Ayien "You shot a cabbie?" Mr. Watson asked his son, then after a pause, "Did he overcharge you?" -- redcarrigan's Once more with feeling
It's Aptronyms by Elapsed Spiral Guardian by Godtiss Which is, basically, a wing!fic. Do Whatever Comes Naturally by Godtiss Across the Universe(s) by zihna A Study In Sherlock by bendingsignpost Jawn of the Dead by Anon A House and a Holmes by ofalexandra A House M.D. and a Sherlock crossover. Aww, come on! Why would you want to miss this? The Internet is not just for porn by cyerus Slash and no, not porn. Really, why would I want to recommend that? Remembrances of Things Past by travels_in_time Unexpected by SevenCorvus Family by Eva The One You Win by TheUniverseWillSing What Child Is This by Karadin Death Note and Sherlock Crossover An Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes(Downey films) crossover The Shortest Week by shinysylver Avengers! Bring Me Home by outerealm The Sky and Everything Beneath It by jibrailis The Time He Was Found Worthy by bonsaiScribbler Percy Jackson and the Demigod Avenger by WerepuppyBlack The title says it all! Oh, and it's crack, which makes it twice as fun. To all those who have conquered my insanely long profile I congratulate you. Furthermore; if you do not leave within 1 minute your computer will explode or in other words go 'BOOM!' And to all those who do not believe the previous warning... well let's just say you are pretty smart for not diving under that computer table of yours. But... If you did... NICE REFLEXES! |