Happy Holidays!

19

Master, Mother I

Hogwarts

"Naruto, you haven't been practicing your leg drills, you lazy brat!"

Naruto had just managed to evade his master's leg sweep by clumsily springing himself into the air. Jiraiya's leg changed direction mid-kick to sweep upwards, forcing Naruto to stumble backwards. The boy caught himself just in time to escape a blast of fire from above, courtesy of Jiraiya sailing above him with a seamless series of mid-air twists.

"Gimme a break, Ero-sennin!" Naruto returned hotly, springing off a wall on the fifth floor to escape a flock of spikes coming at him, "After you went and died on me, I had to deal with the assholes from the Akatsuki—" Naruto barely dodged a sweeping roundhouse by flattening himself in the opposite direction. Two clones materialized on either side of him to throw him out of the trajectory of a stream of fire from Jiraiya's mouth. He moved towards the stairs, caught hold of the bannisters, swung about the railings and launched himself towards Jiraiya, while continuing to complain: "—then Sasuke being Sasuke—" He swerved out of the way of a technique that turned the rubble around him into deadly shurikens. "—and then I've been here for a year! I'm just a bit rusty!"

"Rusty will kill you, kid." Jiraiya jumped up and to the railing on the sixth floor. He frowned down at his student below him. Naruto was still imbued with the sage chakra, but the sannin knew it wouldn't be long until it would run out. In all that time, the boy hadn't even tried to land a serious hit on him. "Don't go easy on me, Naruto!"

"I could say the same thing about you!"

Two Naruto clones caught Jiraiya from behind and wrapped themselves around each of his legs. Jiraiya tried to kick them off, but they had chakra-glued themselves to the railing and dug their chakra into his skin, shocking the chakra network in his legs and immobilizing him. Jiraiya was surprised by this move, but realized Naruto hadn't done it on purpose; the over eager clones had just let out too much chakra trying to glue themselves down. "Tch, the nerve of this kid," he muttered under his breath.

The original Naruto dashed towards him at a fantastic speed worthy of a Toad Sage and swiped a fist at him. Jiraiya bent backwards to avoid it, but he knew it would hit anyways because he realized, with immense pride, that Naruto was using frog kata. The blow from the nature chakra was excruciatingly painful. It sent him flying backwards, straight into a group of unsuspecting Zetsu clones. Three more Naruto clones descended on Jiraiya, aiming a group kick at Jiraiya's gut. The sannin's hair wrapped around him and hardened into spikes to rid himself of the clones. By the time he had extricated himself from his hair-shield, another Naruto was already catapulting towards him with a rasengan in his hands. Jiraiya countered with his own rasengan. The resulting impact blew a hole in the floor, forcing Jiraiya to rush up to the seventh floor. A slew of Naruto's followed him; the original was mixed somewhere in the chaos. Jiraiya figured Naruto was probably planning some tricky kage bunshin stunt in the background. He had to be careful—but he didn't want to be careful; he didn't want this fight at all, but his instincts were working against his will, and the discordance between the two was unsettling and infuriating. Especially—especially when he saw the maze of pale yellow chakra chains that filled the seventh floor, impaling zetsu clones, wolves and Naruto clones.

Jiraiya spotted Kushina and further down the hall, her bright red hair standing out among the gray carnage like a warning. Shizune stood with her, facing Kakashi, the Nara kid, two shinobi he didn't recognize, and two men he didn't know. Jiraiya had been so engrossed in his concern for Kushina and Shizune that he barely noticed Naruto coming towards him with a flying kick—a nature chakra-infused kick that he slid to the side to evade, but which still flung him to the side so hard he crashed through the wall. Jiraiya steeled himself for the impact—for that sharp, explosion of familiar pain, his grasp on his own body fragmenting into chaotic little pieces as he went rolling across the debris-laden floor. He scrabbled together his remaining senses and grasped as much of the momentum he could get, clawing his chakra-infused fingers at anything he solid he could take ahold of to stop himself. He scrambled to his feet, puzzled, when he heard screams around him. It took him a moment to realize he was surrounded by kids, teenagers, running around and away from him, struck with fear. Jiraiya looked around him in confusion, attempting to place himself. Naruto had spoken about being here, but where was that? A school?

The frogs were there as well. Immediately, they put themselves between the children and Jiraiya. Jiraiya recognized the big guy, Gamakiru; the giant amphibian turned his heavy gaze towards Jiraiya.

"Hey," Jiraiya greeted.

"Hey…" came the reluctant chorus of replies from the toad line up.

"Jiraiya-san," said Gamakiru, his voice booming gloomily above the din of chaos, "In advance, I want to apologize for attempting to crush you."

"No hard feelings, big guy," said Jiraiya, cracking a grin, "Crush away, no apologies needed. Ken-san's rubbing off on you, huh?"

"Don' even think about summonin' anyone!" on the of smaller toads put in fiercely, "We're all with Naruto here."

"Oh?" Jiraiya smirked. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Ero-sennin!" came Naruto's panicked howl. The original Naruto came bowling through the Jiraiya-made hole. The boy stopped short, looking around frantically, heaving heavy breaths before crying out, "Not in here! Let's take the fight back out there!"

Jiraiya looked around him again at the children that were being rounded up away from him. Naruto wasn't just fighting him, Jiraiya realized, he was protecting these people.

Jiraiya nodded. "Then lead me away."

Naruto formed clones that launched themselves at him. Jiraiya evaded them with ease. The sannin darted side to side to avoid the attacking toads, finally rushing out of Gamakiru's shadow as the big toad tried to do as he promised. Jiraiya ran up Gamakiru's limbs and landed on the other side, on his knees, right in front a group of the frightened children. He froze when he saw them, realizing that his body had carried him unconsciously towards the children. He wanted to return to Naruto, but his body stiffened, forcing him to stand up and face the kids. They were around Naruto's age or younger, huddling together pitifully. He really didn't want to hurt these kids.

His body took one step forward, towards three kids that didn't look older than twelve. They gazed at Jiraiya fear stricken deer-eyes, barely registering even when he barked at them: "RUN, you stupid brats!" His hands were starting to form seals—ox, mouse—when an older brunette rushed in between him and the kids. She had a wooden stick in hand and pointed it at him. Jiraiya could feel the chakra radiating off of the thing right away. It was a threat. His hand suddenly shot forward and grabbed hold of the girl's neck, knocking the chakra stick out of her hand.

"Damn it Naruto!" he shouted, struggling to keep his other hand from driving a kunai into the girl's shoulders. The girl's choking cries grated on his ears like glass shards. How could he return to death in peace if he had been called back not only to fight his godson, but to murder innocent children? "Naruto!" he bellowed, desperately.

In a breath, Naruto was there. The boy took hold of Jiraiya's threatening hand, and in the same instance, pushed the girl the opposite way. Then he hurled Jiraiya into air. Jiraiya caught himself quickly and came zipping back towards Naruto with the kunai still in hand. A sharp clang echoed around them as metal met metal. The kunai was knocked out of his hands. Naruto was glaring at him, brows furrowed deep with frustration, noise wrinkled into a furious snarl. The boy was holding his own kunai in front of his face, blade down. Then Naruto said something to the girl in a language Jiraiya didn't understand, but he got the gist of it from the relief on both their faces. Another dark haired girl ran towards them, the same chakra imbued stick in hand. She helped the other girl to her feet, and after a quick word with Naruto, they started towards the back wall where the crowd of children were disappearing into. Jiraiya felt a powerful need come over him—the need to go after the children, to take them hostage, to cause pain. It was terrifying. He had never felt such cold need for violence and blood, even in the heat of war.

"They're making you attack them, aren't they?" Naruto asked.

"Feels like it," said Jiraiya, forcing his focus onto his godson. He was taken aback by the fresh anger in the boy's expression. He realized that Naruto no longer had the coloring around his eyes—the sage chakra had worn off, but his eyes were different. They were red, and the pupils had narrowed into slits. Jiraiya felt a chill down his spine at the sight of those eyes. It would do Naruto no good to stop Jiraiya if he lost control of the kyuubi in the process.

"Control yourself Naruto!" he barked at him.

For awhile, the boy said nothing, glaring at him with uncharacteristic silence. Jiraiya was alarmed.

"I have to stop you now," said Naruto, solemnly.

"What, you weren't trying to before?" Jiraiya asked incredulously.

Naruto looked momentarily bewildered by the question. His kyuubi eyes receded. He hesitated, appearing flustered, then concerned, but he didn't need to say anything. Jiraiya understood; he too, for a few moments out there, unconsciously, against all good sense, had enjoyed the sparring. And for those moments, it was sparring. Naruto was showing off his sage skills and Jiraiya was critiquing him like he was still his master. But right now, this was different. The way Naruto stood in front of him, his expression, his chakra, it was all different now. Naruto was no longer the student and Jiraiya no longer his master. The fight neither of them wanted to have, the fight they avoided as they traded playful insults and showy blows, could no longer be put off.

The Ministry

Gaara stepped up next to Hermione, his gaze never leaving Kimimaro. He stood somewhat shorter than Hermione, but this did not make him any less intimidating.

Hermione let out a small yelp of alarm when, out on the field of bones, multiple bolts of lightening cut through the spikes, freeing the impaled bodies. A dark skinned, white-haired teenager could be seen weaving throughout field, taking down hostile shinobi with his swipes of his lightening charged katana. Their shinobi allies had come, but she was afraid they may be far too late to save the majority of the ministry officers still trapped here.

"Is your leader safe?" Gaara asked, without even a glance at her.

"Yes," Hermione answered, her voice hoarse. Her throat stung. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. "He's been taken to safe house."

"Who do I defer to on the matters of your nation here?"

"Me, for the time being. I am the highest ranked officer here."

"And what are you called?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Then I ask you to get yourself to safety, Granger-san. Kimimaro is formidable. Even I will have difficulty with him."

"The thing is," said Hermione, with a short, frustrated sigh, "I've already killed him—" At this, Gaara looked at Hermione with surprise. "—But he came back to life."

"Yes," Gaara confirmed, slowly returning his attention back to Kimimaro, "He's a Reamination. A technique brought him back to life, and it will keep bringing him back to life until he is sealed."

"Oh," Hermione muttered, running a hand through her disheveled hair, "So he's an immortal, all powerful zombie shinobi bent on killing us, or at least torturing me for information. Well, this day keeps getting better." Ron was really rubbing off on her, she realized, because this was exactly how her husband would cope with this situation.

Gaara seemed at a lost how to respond, and only returned his attention back to Kimimaro.

Hermione took a step back to allow Gaara the area for whatever he needed to do to fight Kimimaro. Originally, she had planned to escape to the Department of Mysteries, where the labyrinth of experimental magic would give her enough cover from Kimimaro. With Gaara here, she now had the chance to go to Department of Transportation where the portkeys were kept, specifically the portkeys that were created to simplify travel between the Hidden Continent and the British Ministry. There were also special use portkeys specific to safe houses, evacuation shelters and even foreign nations. If the enemy shinobi got their hands on them, the invasion would become far worse.

Then the sand appeared all around them. Hermione was almost taken aback; she had completely forgotten about the sand, which was now swirling about Gaara, like limbs itching to attack. Kimimaro made his move, closing the distance between them in a mere second, and slashed his bone-sword at Gaara. The sand protected Gaara like it had protected Hermione. Kimimaro tried again, several times, and each time was thwarted by the sand. Instead of being frustrated, Kimimaro appeared almost amused.

"This dance is getting old, isn't it?" he said.

Gaara said nothing. Astonishingly, the boy hadn't made a single move the entire time.

"Let's take this from where we left off," said Kimimaro. Black lines crept from the little tattoo from the middle of his chest plate, crawling up to his face and sprawling across his chest in straight lines and sharp right angles. Slowly, his form began to shift. His pale skin darkened to a blue-purple color that reminded Hermione of bruises. His white hair darkened to an ashen gray as his eyes turned a shade of dark honey.

"What's happening?" Hermione asked.

"He's activated the cursed seal to the final stage," said Gaara, monotonously. Hermione understood none of that, but nothing cursed was ever good.

And it really wasn't—bones ripped from his chest, ribs with sharpened ends sprung from his abdomen. Spinal protrusions eased out of his skin from his back as his tail bone lengthened and started to become quite literally a tail. Hermione watched the entire transfiguration with disgust, with horror, and with perverted fascination. It wasn't like she had never seen botched human transfigurations, but this disfiguration was purposeful, muddled with dark, hatred-laced magic.

"But this time," the monstrous new Kimimaro continued, "No cursed seal repercussions will stop me. No sickness will stop me. Not even death."

Hermione felt sand tickling her feet. She looked down to see sand slipping underneath her shoes and slowly lift her up until she was floating on a cloud of sand. Gaara too stood on a cloud of sand, floating several meters above the floor.

"So you remember," Kimimaro said.

"How could I forget?" Gaara replied, "Other than my fight with Naruto, it was the one of the few times I feared for my life."

"And you will again," Kimimaro took the time to add before he attacked again, spinning through the air with a speed greater even than before. He shot towards Gaara, whose sands protected him again. Hermione watched closely, waiting for an opening. With his speed, there was no way she could hit him with any spell. To her alarm, even Gaara seemed to be having difficulty with Kimimaro's speed, although the boy leader retained his cool. Gaara controlled his sand with the movement of his hands, making squeezing motions to send an explosion of sand that Hermione guessed would have crushed its victim within its grainy grip. Kimimaro was a far too slippery human-dinosaur for the sand.

"This is more pitiful than before," Kimimaro said, in between his hits, "Are you sure becoming Kazekage hasn't dulled your skills?"

Gaara made no reply, but his previously cool mask had twisted into one of deep focus. Gaara wove around in the air, actively evading Kimimaro as his sand acted as a shield, while Kimimaro flickered in a zig zag pattern as he avoided Gaara's hostile sand. At one point, Kimimaro sent bullets of bones spraying towards Gaara, sending the sand rushing to Gaara's defense. Kimimaro came at Gaara from another angle so fast the sand was unable to reach him before Gaara suffered a sharp hit across his left shoulders, throwing him off his sand cloud. Hermione shot a cushioning spell towards the boy, but it was unneeded as the sand came to his rescue right away. Hermione wondered if Gaara would do better with more sand; it simply looked like he didn't have enough to go around.

Without missing a beat, Gaara leapt upwards and commanded a wave of sand to thwart incoming Kimimaro, pushing him off of his trajectory. Unfortunately for Hermione, this put Kimimaro on a path towards her. Hermione frantically sent several succession of bombarda spells, everyone one of them missing their target. Then she let instincts take over and disapparated. Luckily for everyone involved, it was past the ten minute mark.

Hermione apparated with a loud crack, right next to Gaara on his sand cloud.

Gaara, startled, gaped at her for a moment. "How—"

"None of that now," said Hermione, curtly, "Tell me, your sand, you don't have enough of it, do you?"

Gaara only stared at her, wincing a bit when his sand deflected another attack from Kimimaro. Hermione grabbed Gaara's left wrist and disapparated away with him, reappearing in the Department of Transportation portkey chamber.

Gaara had to steel himself from the sudden weakness in his knees and the nausea that welled in his chest.

Hermione let go of his hand and lit all the candles in the room with a flick of her wand so that they were suddenly bathed in golden candlelight. Gaara looked around, trying orient himself in his new surroundings. He was in large room filled with rows of mahogany cabinets with glass doors, each housing a myriad of what looked like junk and knick knacks.

"First time apparating can be uncomfortable, especially side-long," Hermione muttered as she rushed past him towards the cabinets. "Sorry, I had to do this. If these portkeys fall into the wrong hand, we'll have more problems. And we can both use a break from that lunatic out there."

She flung all the cabinet doors open with a flick of her wand.

"You teleported us," Gaara said. He was handling his shock with his usual cool grace.

"I did. The anti-apparation jinx is gone now, so I can move freely. Best be on your guard—Kimimaro still out there. We're only about two hallways from the stairs and atrium."

Gaara nodded and was taken aback when Hermione set the cabinets on fire with an incendio duo.

"Should you not leave some portkeys for my shinobi to use?" he asked.

"No, we can create more portkeys at a more secured place," Hermione answered, turning around to face him.

Gaara accepted her reasoning quietly. "Earlier, you mentioned me not having enough sand. You were right, Granger-san, I don't. The first time I fought him I had the entire field of earth and sand at my disposal. Now I only have what is in my gourd."

"I thought so," said Hermione, "But that's fixable."

Gaara's bare brow ridge rose in question.

"First I thought I could apparate us all to a sand dune, but I'd rather not be touching that Kimimaro at all or be in the vicinity of his…bones, and bringing back that much sand would be difficult through apparation. It has something to do with weight ratio. Anyways, the only thing left to do is to create more sand through transfiguration."

"As in transforming things into sand?"

"Yes."

"From what?"

"Anything, really. But the closer in property, the better."

"You can do that?"

"Yes," Hermione replied, confidently, "Far easier to transfigure a non living object into another non living object."

Gaara nodded. "Then please, do so, Granger-san. It would help me greatly to have more sand at my command."

"Of course. I can do it now." Hermione swept her wand in front of her and all the glass from the cabinet shattered all around them and froze in mid air. Gaara gazed around in amazement because for a split second, with the light glinting off the floating broken pieces of glass, he found himself bathed in a prism of startling colors and shimmering shapes dancing on his skin.

"Harenafors," Hermione said, in a clear voice, and all the glass disintegrated into sand and dropped at their feet. Gaara felt each grain come into being and falling under his command. With his sand-instinct, he handled the newly created sand softly, carefully, almost lovingly, remembering the beauty it once possessed, and mixed it with his own sand.

"This is not much," said Hermione, "But I can create more."

"Thank you," Gaara replied, quietly, "This is quite enough. I will handle Kimimaro. Please stay in this room, Granger-san."

"You don't need to tell me twice," said Hermione nodding. She was a little relieved to not have to face Kimimaro again. Perhaps she'd send a report to the minister at the safe house, or make sure Harry received the news not to bring the children to the Ministry of Magic.

Satisfied, Gaara turned and left through the door. Hermione glanced over at the burning portkeys and put out the fire with a soft wave of her wand. She was looking over the cabinets to make sure all the portkeys were properly destroyed when Gaara returned to the room.

"How do I return to the stairs?" he asked, looking chagrined.

Hermione stared at him for a bewildered moment; she had completely forgotten about the Labyrinth charm she had overseen imbedded into the walls of ministry. Whenever the Ministry was in danger, with the infiltration alarm being activated, the Labyrinth spell would keep all enemies trapped within endless labyrinthine halls to keep them from getting to their destination.

"Right," Hermione muttered, fighting a sheepish smile, "I'll lead you out. There's a charm in place to confuse outsiders."

"I thought it was an illusion at first, but I couldn't dispel it," sad Gaara.

"It's a physical spell," Hermione confirmed, "Nothing illusory about the charm. Sorry, I should have warned you." The spell had a simple workaround, however: the lost could just blast through the walls, like Kimimaro had done.

They did not have to walk far to return to the stairs and to the balconies that overlooked the atrium, much to Gaara's irritation, because he had ran through several hallways before realizing he was not making any progress and found himself back at the room he had come from.

Kimimaro was nowhere to be found, but a blonde shinobi flickered in front of them and crying, "Kazekage-sama! We've been searching for you! There is something urgent I must report!"

"What is it?" Gaara asked.

"Two of our four teams never arrived," the blonde answered, bowing her head as if in shame, "Including our sealing team."

Gaara's eyes widened with alarm; however, Hermione closed hers in frustration because she had half expected this problem. Gaara asked Hermione, "Is there a reason why the portkeys your people sent isn't working?"

Hermione opened her eyes and answered, "Traveling country-wide distances with portkeys can be finicky, especially from a place like your nations that has been cut off for a millennium, considering the time difference. They probably arrived somewhere else by accident."

"How do we get them here?" Gaara asked, urgently.

"We'd have to locate them first. If the portkeys haven't given out, they may make it here eventually once it stabilizes."

"We don't have time for the that," the woman argued, shaking her head so that her short blonde hair flew around her, expressing the desperation that did not show on her blank face. "There are four other reanimations here. All sound nin. We need the sealing teams."

"If you can give me the opening," said Hermione, "I can do it."

"You have sealing knowledge?" asked Gaara.

Hermione shook her head. "Not exactly. But I know powerful restraining spells. Or I can simply freeze him or transfigure him into a bug, but none of that matter if I can't hit him." She paused and gave Gaara a concerned look. "I need to be able to hit him but he's far too fast for me. I can barely see him when he moves."

"I can take care of that," said Gaara, "Samui, I need you tell the others to keep the others busy until Granger-san can help. Kimimaro is top priority."

"No—no need to wait for me," Hermione added, shaking or head, "You can ask any wizard or witch to help you. Ask them to use a stunning or full body lock spells. And please inform any of my people you find that apparition is possible now, and to get to the shelters immediately."

Samui looked hesitant, but a small nod from Gaara was all she needed to accept Hermione's authority. The kunoichi bowed her head. "I will," she said, and flickered away.

Hogwarts

Naruto wasn't sure how to start this fight, and this was a fight, not a sparring session, not a training session. He was relieved that he had been able to stop Jiraiya from killing Regina Cirrus, relieved that the Room of Requirement was starting to clear of students, but he still had to fight his master.

"Naruto," saids Gamakiru, moving his great body next Naruto, "Us Toads will not respond to his calls. None of his Toad-based jutsu will work, but don't underestimate him."

"I never do," said Naruto, seriously. He jumped onto Gamakiru's back. "Sorry I'm making you fight him."

"We know it is just as painful for you," said Gamakiru, "It angers us Jiraiya is being disrespected in this way. We're in this together."

"Heh, thanks," said Naruto, with a grim smile, "Tell the others to keep protecting the students. We'll handle this."

"Shall I call the Boss and the others?"

"Nah, let's spare them this," said Naruto, "Besides, this is my fight. I wanna do this myself, for Ero-sennin's sake."

"Hm," replied Gamakiru, nodding his great head once.

"I need you to take my clones back and protect them while they gather nature chakra," said Naruto, as he created two clones of himself.

"I will," the great toad promised.

Naruto leapt off of the toad as Gamakiru leapt backwards towards the back wall. There, the two clones sat down and began gathering nature chakra.

"Naruto, you're getting real good at giving the big Toads orders," said Jiraiya. The man was grinning proudly at him. Naruto wasn't sure if he was allowed to feel happiness about Jiraiya praising him in this situation, but he smiled back all the same.

"So, Ero-sennin—"

"Will you stop calling me that!" Jiraiya snapped, irritably, "I'm dead, Naruto, show some respect!"

"Dead or alive, you're always be Ero-sennin!" Naruto returned petulantly.

Jiraiya frowned, tired, and gave up. If death wasn't going rid him of that moniker, nothing would.

"So, before we start again," said Jiraiya, "Where in the world are we?"

This Naruto happily and eagerly answered, "Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

"Never heard of it."

"It's a long story," Naruto mumbled, looking around the room with some fondness, "But I got lost and they took care of me. The people here are my friends. They're precious to me."

"And you learned their language," said Jiraiya, looking amused, "Never woulda thought we could get another language into that thick skull of yours!"

"Ero-sennin, you're no good with languages either!" Naruto let out an indignant huff. "I had really good teachers."

Jiraiya chuckled. "I see you've mastered nature chakra, but you can't maintain it while moving, obviously. How are you getting around that without Pa and Ma?"

"You think I'm gonna tell you that?" Naruto muttered, crossing his arms as he leveled his master an incredulous look.

"Oh? So you've gotten a little smarter in my absence as well!"

Naruto was flustered. "Oi! Just you wait, Ero-sennin! You know, I can use the tickling charm. If I had my wand, you'd be laughing yourself to death!"

"That's the lamest threat I've ever heard," Jiraiya said, laughing.

"That's because you've never laughed so hard you fainted," Naruto muttered, looking grim at the memory of said experience.

"Actually, on the contrary," said Jiraiya, conversationally, "I know how deadly tickling can be, especially as a torture technique. It can erode the mental defenses when done right."

"How do you do tickling wrong?" Naruto asked, puzzled.

"So, besides this tickling charm, what else have you been up to, eh?"

Naruto frowned at his master. Then he sighed and formed the seal for his kage-bunshin. "Why don't I show you instead?" he said, as five clones popped up around him. Then Naruto stopped short, remembering he had to wait for the nature chakra before he could use the rasenshuriken. He had to keep Jiraiya busy until he was ready.

Jiraiya, like any good shinobi, did not waste Naruto's momentary distraction: "Katon: Ryuuka no jutsu!" Said dragon fire came roaring out of Jiraiya's mouth towards Naruto. The clones dispersed in all directions. The fire dragon caught up with two clones, dispersing them with a sizzle, before heading towards Gamakiru. Unfazed, the great toad put out the fire with a great blast of water from its mouth.

"Thanks, Gamakiru!" Naruto shouted, which gave away the position of the original.

"Naruto!" Jiraiya shouted as he ran towards the original, "What have I told you about keeping yourself disguised with your kage bunshin?"

"Make more?" Naruto replied cheekily, and created half a dozen more clones between Jiraiya and himself. One clone dived towards him with a roundhouse from the left. Jiraiya blocked it with his arm, grabbed the boy's leg and swung him into the incoming clone. Both dispersed.

"You're getting heavy, Naruto," Jiraiya complained. Four clones were left, and two of them had a rasengan in hand. Jiraiya jumped up to evade them, flipped around so he was facing the floor and let out a strong blast of fire. The rasengan bearing clones dispersed, leaving two clones left. Jiraiya used shadow shurikens to take them out and made a beeline for the original that was standing some distance back. Naruto had another rasengan in hand, a great ball rasengan, and charged at Jiraiya, dragging the rasengan along the floor. The only way to counter a rasengan, if it couldn't be dodged, was to match it with something equally destructive, like another rasengan. Jiraiya formed a great ball rasengan in his palms as he drew closer to Naruto, bracing for the impact between them. Just as the two rasengan hit, Naruto disappeared in that telltale cloud of dispersion, and Jiraiya's rasengan passed through air. He nearly fell over from the momentum. The rasengan exploded into the floor as he regained his footing. Two large pieces of stone rubble on either side of him transformed into Narutos; both tackled him to the ground and pinned him down. Above him, another two Naruto's were diving towards him, each holding a rasengan. They crashed into Jiraiya with a dramatic boom, upturning large clouds of dust. When the scene cleared, the four Narutos found they had only made splinters of a piece of log.

"Not that again!" one of the Narutos shouted in frustration, throwing up his hands in the air.

"You always fall for it!" Jiraiya's voice said, laughing. The sannin stepped out from behind a large piece of stone some distance away. "You always get so caught up in your elaborate kage-bunshin ruse to remember the kawarimi!"

"It's only with you though!"

"Yeah, well, I always know to ready a kawarimi when I deal with you." Jiraiya put his hands on his hips. "So, how long until you're done stalling? Don't look surprise! Now that I think about it, I doubt any of you are the original. The real you is probably gathering nature chakra somewhere nice and safe."

Naruto, who was one of the two that attacked with the rasengan, only smirked. "Heh, I suppose," he said, nonchalantly.

"Don't try to act cool, Naruto," said Jiraiya, frowning, "Doesn't suit you. You only give yourself away."

"Shut up, Ero-sennin! If I'm uncool, then you're the king of lame, you super pervert."

"I guess I deserved that one," Jiraiya muttered. He sighed and continued: "On that note, what's missing right now is a nice pair of soft, pillowy breasts. Say, do this old man a favor and pull out that orioke-no-jutsu, huh?"

"Even in death," Naruto murmured, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Hey, how'd my last book do, Naruto?"

"Hm? A hit, apparently."

"You read the reviews?"

"D'ya think I had time to read the reviews?!"

"It would have been a great way to honor your master!"

"But, I did read your first book!" said Naruto, grinning.

"First book?"

"Yeah, that Tale of the Gutsy Ninja! That one was great, Ero-sennin!"

"It didn't sell at all," said Jiraiya, with a sheepish grin. He sighed wistfully. "Total flop."

"But, y'know, it did save help me save Konoha."

Jiraiya looked at Naruto in bewilderment, but he froze as a foreign will came over him—this time to fight and capture Naruto. Naruto noticed this right away; he recognized the struggle on his master's face as the man's hands jerked its way to form a hand sign at his chest. But it was fine, because Naruto was ready for it now.

"Now!" he shouted, and he felt one of the chakra-gathering clone disperse and rush into him. The warm pulsating flow of the nature chakra made his heart race.

"I see," said Jiraiya, grinning, "You're the real one after all. Kage bunshin huh? Neat trick. You really are the number one unpredictable ninja."

Smirking, Naruto charged at Jiraiya with his new sage-speed, picking up random large stone debris in his way and hurling them at his master. Jiraiya's hair wrapped around him and hardened into needles, easily destroying all incoming projectiles. Naruto wasn't far from him when Jiraiya's hair needles shot out, forcing Naruto back. A needle struck him in the left thigh, but Naruto pulled it out quickly and threw it aside. The sage-chakra protected him from the pain, and his natural healing abilities was already making short work of the wound.

"Watch this!" Naruto created two clones; one clone immediately started forming compressing chakra, then, with a dramatic flourish, the second clone infused wind into it. He watched his master's face with glee as Jiraiya's expression went from curious, to confused and finally to amazement as the torrential wind enveloped them both.

"You did it," Jiraiya breathed, his expression full of awe, "You infused the rasengan with wind chakra."

"I call it the rasenshuriken," Naruto bellowed proudly, as the rasengan began to compress into the shape of said weapon.

"Not bad at all!" said Jiraiya as he broke into a run towards his godson, "Show me what it can do!"

Naruto threw the rasenshuriken. The sannin leapt into the air as much as his chakra and legs could muster, but the rasenshuriken stopped right under him, reoriented itself vertically and expanded so that Jiraiya was caught in one of its spinning hurricane blades. Naruto watched with a sense of alarm and wrenching sorrow as his jutsu disintegrated his beloved master. He swallowed the unsettling sadness in his throat. He knew Jiraiya would reform, good as new, but until he saw his shishou again, he wasn't sure he could take a proper breath. So Naruto stood frozen on the spot, staring at the place Jiraiya used to be, waiting for him to come back. He had done this so many times before, after Jiraiya had died, staring at the horizon, hoping the super pervert would rematerialize, saying that Pa Toad made a mistake, that he was able to survive after all, that he was okay. Then he would regale everyone with tales of how he escaped death and add to the legend of Jiraiya the Gallant. But as hard as Naruto willed it, Jiraiya never reappeared.

But now, he would. Naruto just had to wait.

Kakashi's spars with Minato-sensei were always an exercise in speed. Not just physical speed, but mental speed as well. Minato-sensei was fast in everything he did, and he did everything with precision. He was an extremely neat, quick, and efficient shinobi, despite his flair for the ostentatious.

On the other hand, Kakashi had never once sparred with Kushina, nor had he ever seen her fight. For some reason, she was always sidelined. It was unusual for kunoichi of her age to be so sheltered during the time of war. It had been understandable when she was pregnant with Naruto, but even before Naruto came along, Kushina had always been protected with the third Hokage and his wife hovering around her like they were her parents. Kakashi had not been interested enough to think about it. He had always assumed she was protected because she was the last of the Uzumakis, which would have made her family to the founding clan, the Senjus. In retrospect, it made no sense because Naruto had not been afforded the same privileges.

When Obito had once implied that Kushina only picked on him because she was such lousy shinobi herself, Minato-sensei had warned them all that Kushina was not one to underestimate. "She can hold an entire battlefield by herself if she wanted to," he had said, almost lovingly, "Don't ever lower your guard when dealing with any red-haired woman."

Now, in a foreign world, decades later, Kakashi realized what Minato had meant: Uzumaki Kushina really could cover an entire field of battle by herself, and like any Uzumaki worth their salt, she did it all by just having far too much chakra.

Kakashi had only heard of chakra chains before. It was a technique unique to certain members of the Uzumakis, but he had never seen Uzumakis in battle. Pale yellow chakra burst from Kushina's body in the form of spiky chains and anchored themselves in the floors, into the ceilings and the walls, destroying the paintings and blowing holes in the walls. More chains grew from the anchored chains, from which even more chains grew, until the entire seventh floor hallway was congested with her chains. Where the chains touched, they burned and immobilized. It was sickening to see her attack the clones of her own son, and to see the Naruto clones attack her, completely oblivious to her identity. Kakashi could see how much pain she was in. He had to end this quickly. It was the least he could do for her and for his late sensei.

Shizune made matters worse, popping up from the shadow when they least expected it to separate them or distract them from mounting an offensive against Kushina. Yamato managed to immobilize Shizune with his wood technique, but the woman sliced herself from the lower half of her body with her chakra scalpels to escape, much to the horror of all watching, Kushina included. Shizune's severed torso fell to the floor and squirmed like she was some nightmare monster.

"Bloody hell," Ron exhaled in horror.

"Seal me!" Shizune shouted at them, even as she began to drag herself towards them, her lower body slowly reforming. It was grotesque—so grotesque that even Kushina forgot to attack them and stared at Shizune with a stricken expression.

With a grimace, Harry raised his wand and cast, "Immobulus." The spell hit and Shizune froze with a look of determination on her face, obviously struggling against the spell.

"Sai!" Kakashi directed the boy towards the frozen Shizune. Sai unrolled the large scroll on his back, and an ink tiger came bounding out of the paper and dragged Shizune into the sealing scroll.

"That's going to give me nightmares," said Kushina, giving a little shiver. She looked at Kakashi with an uneasy expression. "Was that Tsunade-sama's protege? Dan-san's niece? What was her name again—?"

"Shizune," Kakashi provided solemnly.

Kushina snapped her finger with a bright smile. "That was it! Shizune. Sweet girl. I liked her! Wow, that was horrible, Kakashi. You really have to stop this."

"I'm trying, Kushina-san," Kakashi answered.

"Well, then," she said, plaintively, putting her hands on her hips, her elbows flared. Kakashi felt a knot his chest; that posture was always associated with Obito in his mind, right before she nagged and lectured and ultimately conked him on the head.

"You're supposed to be a genius Kakashi!" she insisted, "I suggest you try harder, like, right now!" Another wave of her chains swept the area. Sai and Kakashi flipped back towards the group as Ron and Harry protected them both with deflection spells. Meanwhile, Yamato pulled a giant tree trunk from the floor and blocked the rest of chakra chains. More chains whipped around behind them. Two of Sai's giant ink birds lifted them into the air, but the chains chased them, surrounding them on all sides. The chains anchored themselves into the ceiling, caging them within a densely meshed column of chains that steadily moved inwards. If Kakashi had the time, he would have admired the frightening extent of these chakra chains, but he had no such luxury. The chains were closing in.

"This lady's impossible," Shikamaru complained.

Kakashi started forming signs for the chidori when Harry shouted to his friend on the other ink bird with Sai and Yamato: "Ron! We need to apparate!"

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah, the jinx should down by now. The Gryffindor Common."

"Right. See ya."

Before the shinobi could ask what their wizard colleagues were going on about, Harry and Ron each grabbed a pair of shinobi and apparated away.

Naruto knew standing where he was and waiting for Jiraiya to come back was the stupidest thing he had ever done. He knew he should have been planning his next move, coming up with a way to hold Jiraiya until Sai arrived, but he just couldn't conjure up the hostility and energy to prepare a way to take down his master. He felt a jolt of excitement when he saw dust swirling where Jiraiya once stood. His mind ran through a list of things he still needed to say and to show Jiraiya. He had to tell him about Nagato, Yahiko and Konan. About the conversation he and Nagato had. About how that all ended. He had to tell him about meeting his father, the Fourth Hokage, and yell at Jiraiya about not telling him about his father. He had so much more to say.

When Jiraiya was fully reformed, Naruto's entire being seem to light up, beaming at Jiraiya with an excited smile. "Ero-sennin! So, what'dya think of that, huh? Ya wanna know how I did it?"

Jiraiya grinned. "Lemme guess, days and nights with Kakashi hammering it into your thick skull?"

Naruto grimaced, but his dissatisfaction was brief. "So, anyways, I used my kage bunshin to multiply the training experience!"

"Oh? That Kakashi really lives up to his genius reputation, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei is really smart!"

"I admit Naruto, that is one monster jutsu," said Jiraiya, chuckling, "And damn painful too."

"Yeah, sorry about that…" Naruto muttered, with a tight smile.

"Sorry?" Jiraiya said, letting out a short, loud laugh, "Don't forget I'm still your enemy, Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto muttered, "But…it's kinda nice to get a chance to talk. I didn't get to before you…" He trailed off. His mind was a muddle of all the things he had yet to say that needed saying.

Jiraiya's face twisted suddenly, struggling against something. "Naruto!" he barked, "I'm coming for you now! Get ready!"

Naruto jumped to attention. He parried a succession of quick punches and low kicks, before using a clone to distract Jiraiya so he could put distance between them. His sage mode had worn off now, but he wasn't ready to use the second sage clone until he was sure of a plan this time. The first one, he had to admit, was just to show off to his master.

Jiraiya dispatched the clone quickly and started towards him again. He went through a set seals, stopped a short distance from Naruto and spat toad oil from inside his abdomen. Naruto leapt up and backwards to avoid the oily projectile. Just as the oil flew beneath him, Jiraiya set it afire with a small blast of fire, causing a sudden burst of flames that was grew so large it enveloped Naruto right above it. Naruto quickly created a clone beneath himself and used his clone's back to launch himself even higher to escape the flames. He mentally winced as the fiery death of his clone came back to him.

When Naruto landed, his master was already on another succession of seals. Naruto a caught a few he recognized, but couldn't remember which of his master's jutsu could be coming. Jiraiya ended by driving his palms to floor, which suddenly changed into mud.

"That?!" Naruto exclaimed in frustration. An entire swamp had overtaken the entire room. He was sunk to his shins when he felt the sage chakra from his last clone rush to him. He glanced behind him, catching sight of Gamakiru as he disappeared. He couldn't save the last clone for later, but he was lucky he was in sage mode now. He concentrated the sage chakra on his legs, which seemed to weaken the chakra from the mud that was pulling him down. Then, with a burst of power, he used a sage toad-leap technique and burst out from the hungry swamp, towards a large piece of stone debris sticking out several meters above the floor. He landed shakily on the sinking rubble. He could feel two other people in the room with him—one was Sakura-chan, and the other felt like James. He looked around in panic, wondering why in the world would they be in the room now. Then he heard a voice above him: "Oi, Naruto!"

Naruto looked up and felt a flutter of relief soothe this chest. A wide grin spread across his face at the sight of James, on a broom, with another broom in hand, with Sakura sitting behind him. It was a picture he would never forget.

The Ministry

It wasn't long until Kimimaro appeared again, still in his bruised-skin dinosaur form, body riddled with bone-spikes drenched in blood. It appeared he had not spent the duration of their disappearance idly.

He stood just a few meters from Hermione and Gaara, his black-gold eyes observing them calmly.

"True teleportation," said Kimimaro, with a glance at Hermione, "It seems you and your people have mastered the technique."

Hermione was curious about the shinobi's preoccupation with apparition. That woman, Samui, had flickered in and out, as did Kimimaro. She wondered if these movements were just pure speed and not a form of apparation.

"Weasley-san," said Gaara, looking askance at her, "I will keep you with me." As he said this, sand gathered beneath them. "And I will give the opening for you to immobilize him."

Hermione nodded. "I'll help you any way I can."

The were lifted into the air by a cloud of sand. It was like being on a beach, the way her feet kept easing into the sand. It was pleasant and warm.

Kimimaro attacked again, moving at a speed that made it seem like he was flickering place to place, in a zig zag pattern again as Gaara attempted to capture him with his sand.

Hermione cast several protection charms around them. It would be difficult to maintain them as protection charms were location-anchored, but if she could use the sand beneath their feet to anchor the spells, it would lengthen the lifetime of the spells even as they moved around. A sudden explosive force nearly knocked Hermione off the cloud; the sand reached up to her knees to keep her from falling.

"Did you do something?" Gaara asked, without looking at her, "One of his attacks hit but was deflected. And it wasn't my sand."

"Yes, I cast a protection spell around us," Hermione muttered, flustered, looking around. Kimimaro was nowhere to found. In the short time she had been distracted by her near fall, she had lost sight of him. She was amazed that Kimimaro's attack had been powerful enough to have broken through her protection spells and still be able deal them considerable blow.

"He's disappeared into his bones," Gaara informed her.

"What?" Hermione said, confused at the pure absurdity of the statement, but Kimimaro himself provided the answer when he oozed out of one of the giant bone spikes that rose from the atrium floor. The extent of this boy's abilities were bordering on ridiculous.

Gaara swept out his hand and sand obeyed, rushing towards Kimimaro in a large, imposing wave. The sand moved as if it were water and air, flying in swirling cyclones, crashing with deafening booms and other times grasping with claws, with hands, with lethal blades. Kimimaro flipped, jumped and slipped through each incarnation of Gaara's sand, but Hermione noticed Kimimaro seemed to be having some difficulty keeping up. Gaara was able to match his speed, bringing them to a stale mate every time they met. Kimimaro could not seem to get close to them but Gaara could not capture him.

"Weasley-san," said Gaara, "Could you give me more sand? I will try hold him down so you can immobilize him."

Hermione nodded. She looked around; luckily, they were surrounded by glass windows of offices on each floor, and the ceiling structure surrounding the atrium was also made with glass. She swirled her wand above her head in an exaggerated zig sag motion and cried out: "Reducto!" The spell shot up into the air and blew apart like fireworks. What followed was the unnerving sound of hundreds of glass windows breaking. The glass shards fell like rain. Hermione immediately shot another spell above them: "Harenafors", turning all glass in their general vicinity into sand. "I'm not done yet," she told Gaara, "I'm going to make your sand more deadly. I learned this combination as a teenager, and it's pretty nasty." She flicked her wand towards the sand floating around them, then waved it in a perfect circle, muttering, "Giminio, Flagrante." When she was done, she smiled and said to Gaara, "Try it."

Gaara's curious gaze lingered on her for a few moments before he nodded, and sent his sand flying towards Kimimaro, who predictably dodged. But where Gaara's sand just touched Kimimaro's arm burned into his skin, and then multiplied into more sand. Gaara could feel the new addition forming at every touch.

Kimimaro hissed, shocked, and jumped back several steps, and glared at them. His left arm was red with a fresh burn. It was, however, rapidly healing.

"Burn and multiply," Gaara muttered. He glanced at Hermione. "You are most impressive, Granger-san."

Hermione shot him a satisfied grin.

Gaara sent waves of his sand to surround Kimimaro. He formed a tornado around him, spinning ferociously, rising tall towards the ceiling. In any other case, a reanimation Kimimaro could escape, sacrificing a few limbs to tear himself out of the sand tornado, but now, every grain of sand he touched was a hot needle drilling into his skin and then multiplying. The sand thickened and burned wherever Kimimaro tried to pierce through.

Gaara closed his palms into a fist and the sand closed in on Kimimaro, swathing him in thick layers of burning sand. The teenager let out a terrible scream of agony and fury, his bones ripping further from his body, but the sand kept multiplying and weighing him down. Hermione could see him now; it was the perfect opening.

"Granger-san," said Gaara.

"I know!" She pointed the wand at Kimimaro's head popping out from the mound of crushing sand. "Petrificus Totalus!"

And it was done; Kimimaro froze with a look of fury on his bruised-purple face.

Gaara slowly brought Hermione and himself to the floor and dispersed the sand.

"Will it last?" Gaara asked.

"Long enough, hopefully. I've made it as strong as possible. I'm going to cast extra binding spells. He'll be bound, asleep, and frozen. By the time I'm done with him, he won't get out until I'm old and dead, I promise you."

Gaara took a moment to look at Hermione before saying, "I admit, I trust you when you say it."

"Thanks. I have a perfect rune-based imprisonment in mind."

Gaara had no idea what that meant, but he nodded. "Thank you for your help, Granger-san," he said, "It would have been difficult without you."

"I would have been dead if not for you," Hermione replied, "Thanks for that."

"If you can, Granger-san," said Gaara, "Please undo the burning and multiplying effects you added to my sand."

"Why? There are more of those guys out there."

"My sand is used to help comrades as well. It is an extension of myself. I do not wish to hurt you or others with it. The others I can handle without your modifications."

Hermione nodded. "That makes sense," she conceded, and used finite incantatem to undo her curses.

Hogwarts

James held onto Lily as tightly as he could. Broken and battered, the students were moving from the Room of Requirement to the Hog's Head Inn in a slow, somber march. James peered around the dark, periodically checking for Al, Rose and Hugo, for Roxanne, and for Dominique and Louis. He made sure Gerry, Jill and Malfoy were always in sight. When he caught sight of friends and people he knew, he could feel the weight lift from his heart just a little. He saw the Hufflepuff Head Girl, mournfully trudging ahead supported by George Deer. Anne Katsumata was probably already on the other side, still unconscious. He began to worry when he didn't see Regina Cirrus, the Gryffindor Head Girl. He hoped she was alright; out of all the people he knew, she'd be the one brave enough to fight back and get killed for it. He hadn't heard anyone mention seeing her and Reg was not a quiet person by any means.

James was still making silent head counts of his fellow students when screams tore through that grim silence. A wave of people were rushing into the tunnel, forcing everyone forward. People lost their footing and stumbled into the dark floors and disappeared in the panic. James lost his hold on Lily as a chaotic crowd pushed into him.

"Lily!" he cried out, desperately.

"I got her!" he heard Jill say, "I got Lily!"

"I'm alright!" came Lily's voice.

He looked around for his brother and cousins, but they were mixed somewhere in the fearful rush.

"James!" he heard Al, "James!"

James looked around in panic, trying to locate his brother. "Al, just keep going!" he shouted into the darkness, James was grabbing anyone he could catch to keep them from being crushed by the stampede. "Don't worry—about me! Keep going!"

The aurors in the tunnel were trying to gain control over the situation and instill order, but the panic was infectious and soon everyone was running and screaming. James realized something must have been happening in the Room of Requirement. Before he knew what he was doing, he was fighting against the current and going back towards the Room. When he finally found himself in the brightly lit pandemonium, he saw Naruto, with his back to him, facing an older man with shaggy white hair. There were less of the frogs now, and the giant toad was at the back corner of the room.

"Potter!" he heard a voice snap at him. A few stride from him Theodosia Nott was supporting Regina Cirrus.

"Reg?" he said in a fearful whimper. He rushed towards them. Regina Cirrus neck was an angry, welting strip of red. Her eyes were shut. "Is she—?"

"She'll be fine," said Theodosia.

"Yup," Regina moaned with a weak smile, one eye fluttering open, "'M still alive, Potter."

"We need to get out of here," said Theodosia.

"What's going on?" James asked, "What's Naruto—"

Before he could finish, a flash of pink and green rushed out in front of them. A great boom cracked the ground, turning up a great slab of concrete that blocked a ball of fire.

"What are you all still doing here!" Sakura, the healer-shinobi, was holding said slab of concrete up with one arm. "You!" She pointed at James with her free hand. "You should be already on the other side!"

James could only gape at her. The girl was absurdly strong. He couldn't help but wonder, in the face of all of this chaos, how her thin arms could be so strong.

"Potter, let's go," said Theodosia. She headed towards the tunnel entrance, Regina draped across one shoulder. James, however, couldn't get himself to move. Instead, he held up his wand in front on his with an almost dazed expression.

"Naruto doesn't…" he mumbled.

"What is it?" Sakura asked urgently.

"Naruto doesn't have his wand," he said, "Give him mine, won't you? We're kinda compatible. I think. Both phoenix cores."

Sakura appeared dumbfounded. She looked between the wand and James before giving him a pitying frown. "I'm sure you'll need it more than Naruto," she said, "He'll be fine without a—a wand."

A blast of wind from an explosion interrupted them. Sakura shoved the concrete slab away, grabbed James by the collar and dragged him behind an upturned hospital bed. They crouched together, wincing at the sound of another explosion.

"We both have to get out of here," said Sakura.

"And leave Naruto by himself?" said James. He glanced around; they were the only people in the room now, except for Naruto and the old man he was fighting.

Sakura looked at him in bewilderment. "If you go out there, not only will you get killed, you'll be putting Naruto in danger," she said, impatiently. She shook her head. "Even I may get in his way."

"You?" said James, incredulously, "But you're bloody strong."

"That should tell you something, shouldn't it?" she snapped.

James nodded numbly. His mouth had gone dry. He felt incredibly stupid coming out here like this; he had forgotten to think before he acted and left his younger siblings and cousins by themselves.

Then the wind came, softly at first, then slowly ascending to a vicious hurricane swirling abound the middle of the room. A sharp ringing filled their ears and a bright light came from Naruto's direction. James looked out at his friend in awe. Naruto had his arms raised above his head, holding a great swirling mass of white-hot energy that spun with the force of a small cyclone. A great torrent of wind was pulling everything towards him.

James gaped. A violent shiver raced through his body. This magic—this power—was intense. It was sharp and thick and absolutely beyond anything he knew. Here he was thinking of simple blasting charms, and Naruto was commanding something far greater.

"Tch, Naruto's showing off," Sakura said, sounding exasperated, "We need to get out of here. If we get caught in that, we'll be torn apart."

"But if it hits the people attacking us—the shinobi—then Naruto wins, right?"

"No, Jiraiya-sama is a Reanimation. He'll just reform."

"Reform?" James repeated incredulously, "Is that old bloke immortal or something?"

"Not immortal—he's already dead."

"He's a zombie?"

Sakura frowned at James. "I suppose that's one way to see it. They can't die. They'll just regenerate when they're hurt."

"So how do we defeat'em?"

Sakura cast an exasperated sidelong glance at James."There's no we in this. Come on—" She jerked James to his feet and ran towards the tunnel, pulling him along. Just as she pushed James into the tunnel, Sakura suddenly sank. The entire floor had become a muddy swamp. Sakura let out a surprised yelp as she lost her balance, and would have fallen backwards into the chakra-infused mud if James hadn't reached out and caught her left arm.

"I got ya," said James, struggling with all the strength he had to pull her up, but she continued sinking. He pointed his wand down at the mud and tried to blast some away with reducto, but only succeeded in creating large wells in the swamp.

"Keep doing that!" said Sakura, "Blast a few around me. The chakra in the mud is pulling me down. The wells will lessen the surface area and the force of the mud against my skin."

James nodded. The tightened his hold around Sakura's shoulders and pointed his wand down. His hand was shaking. He had to be careful not to hit Sakura.

"It's fine if you hit me," said Sakura, "Just do it!"

James took in a deep breath and shot several of the reductor spells around her. He created four large wells around her, and his last spell singed the skin off of Sakura's left shin. He apologized immediately, but Sakura shook her head.

"None of that now! Listen," Sakura said, quickly, "I'm going to focus chakra to my feet in a single blast. When I give the word, you need to pull me up with all you've got, do you understand?"

James nodded.

Sakura closed her eyes, and a moment later, she shouted, "Now!" James pulled as hard she could and Sakura slid right out of the mud and into the tunnel.

Sakura scrambled to her feet and looked out into the Room of Requirement. James did the same. They were both looking for Naruto, who they found perching on a precarious piece of stone debris that was also slowly sinking.

"Why isn't he walking on the mud like he walks on water?" asked James.

Sakura answered: "Because the usual level of continuous chakra we need for water walking is interrupted by the chakra in the swamp. It is possible, just requires more conscious effort and more chakra."

James heard a loud poof, and saw that the corner once occupied by the giant toad was now empty.

"Looks like Gamakiru's gone now," said Sakura, "It's just us."

"How do we help him?" asked James.

"We need to get him to solid ground somehow," Sakura answered, looking around.

"We can fly," James suggested.

"Fly? How?"

"Brooms," James replied. He looked into the room with an expression of intense determination. "Alright, Room, I know you're all broken up, but do this for me. Give us a couple of good brooms, y'know, for the sake of the world?"

"Who are you talking to?" Sakura asked, shooting him a bewildered frown.

"The Room of Requirement," James answered, "The room will literally give us what we really need, except for food, apparently, because it's one of Gamp's—"

"They why are you asking for brooms?"

"So we can fly!"

"On a broom?"

"Well, what else? There!" James pointed two brooms that had just appeared mounted on the wall to their left. James pointed his wand at them and shouted, "Accio brooms!" The two brooms rushed towards them. James immediately jumped onto one, urged a reluctant Sakura to sit behind him, and flew off with the other broom in hand. He pushed the broom as fast as he could towards Naruto and skidded to a halt just above his friend.

"Oi, Naruto!" he shouted down at the blond. Naruto looked up at them, and a bright grin spread across his face when he saw James and Sakura on the broom.

"Good idea!" Naruto exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Catch!" James threw the other broom down. Naruto jumped up, caught the handle of the broom and smoothly seated himself. He flew up next to James and Sakura.

"You alright, Sakura-chan?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Sakura muttered in reply, "We're flying—so now what?"

"We gotta wait until Sai can come back and seal Ero-sennin. Otherwise, we'd get nowhere."

"Can we just freeze him or something while we wait for the other shinobi to get back?" asked James.

"Freeze him?" Naruto repeated, looking dumbfounded, "With a freezing charm?"

"Yeah, or with a full body lock."

"Yeah, good idea. We can do that!" Naruto exclaimed brightly, "But I don't have my wand."

James had been waiting for this: he thrust his wand towards his friend and said, gleefully, "Use mine, mate." He flicked the wand at him and Naruto caught it.

Naruto looked at him blankly. "Uh…well…the freezing charm…was it…freezicus?"

"Are you serious? You don't remember?"

"Oi, I've got a lot on my mind lately!" Naruto replied heatedly, "I just got 17 years of memories crammed back into my head, y'know!"

"We've done the spell loads of time!"

"You've done it loads of time. I watched!"

"Still—"

"Both of you stop arguing!" Sakura snapped, "If Naruto doesn't remember, then James, you do it."

Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, you do it! Wands go weird on me, anyways!" Naruto threw the wand back to James, and thankfully, James caught it, but barely. "I'll create an opening! Follow me!" Naruto flew off before James could get in another word.

"Right," James muttered, trying not to let his anxiety show. To Sakura, he said, "Hold on."

Updated Commentary

Thank you everyone for reading this, and for all those old readers who actually went back and read the new stuff. I'm super thrilled and thankful for all of you! This story has been haphazard from the start, and I'm so happy to see it still interests readers. Love you all!

I go back and forth between replying to reviews and stuff because I sometimes I just feel like a creeper doing that! So if I no longer respond to your reviews, don't feel like I'm ignoring you, I'm probably just feeling a bit more awkward than usual.

1) The Hermione and Gaara vs Kimimaro was difficult to write. I am no good with Gaara's fighting scene, too much long distance manipulation of sand, not enough martial arting, which is too bad since Kimimaro is a taijutsu based shinobi. Anyways, Kimimaro had no chance against Hermione and Gaara tag team. I wrote this fight because I wanted to write Hermione being casually badass and working well with Gaara. I am not sure if finite incantatem can undo the geminio and flagrante because if she could, wouldn't she have done so in the book? For this chapter, I headcanon that the original caster can easily undo the curse.

2) As formidable as the shinobi are, they can't teleport (apparate) like the wizards/witches can. Apparition sounds similar to the Hiraishin, but I think Hiraishin is more perfect: more exact and much much faster, tailored to be used in a fight so there is no after effects of a space-time jump (as far as I can tell from canon). But Apparition doesn't need a seal on the target/location, which makes it a bit more flexible but a bit more inaccurate, more prone to splinching. But can you imagine a wizard using apparition like Minato used Hiraishin? That'd give the shinobi a run for their money!

3) Naruto vs Jiraiya is SO difficult. Jiraiya is handicapped without his Toads! I never realized before how much he depends on his Toad buddies! I feel like my hands are tied. So frustrating. It took me forever just to get this in words.

4) I forget how stringent the formatting is on ffnet. No indentations allowed. No extra spaces or weird characters allowed. I used French dialogue tags for the Japanese dialogues, but ffnet stripped them all so they just appear naked, without quotes. Doesn't seem that a lot of you had too much trouble figuring out, but damn, I spent some time figuring that shit out and using it. I will be trying lots of different formatting in the next few chapters, if I can.