I’m sorry if this seems pushy but I'm just reminding you about this story incase you've forgotten, once again stating that I'm not trying to be pushy but just to give you something to do as you said you were going to.

No offense, but I can already tell that, by the lack of any proper punctuation (not capitalizing the first word in dialogue, or making each new person speaking a separate paragraph? Really?), this story would be infuriating to read. At least, for me. So, I shall not read this story, but instead give a word of advice... Go do us a favor, read a book and study the punctuation and grammar uses, and edit this story so I feel inclined to read it...

Once again, no offense :)
Constructive criticism ;)

The story idea is great, and you seem like an amazing person. I will say this though: Just because it's your first story doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. I did the same thing (asking people to go easy on me) when I wrote my first story, but I realized that was a mistake. You'll never learn and grow with people going easy on you.

Your punctuation is dreadful. You also need to add more and more detail in your writing. What you see in your mind, you need to add as much detail in words in your story so we readers can see the same thing. Edward is walking out of the train and into the platform? Describe how he walks out of the train. What the place and platform looks like. Describe Edward's escort in more detail. How the escort talks and such.

By now, your writing may be better. If your not confident in your writing, then get someone with good writing knowledge to check the chapter over. A beta.

I hope that you'll continue this story one day.

I don't know if you know, but you are spelling Führer wrong. It's Führer not fuhror.

I really want Armstrong to be sent to check on Ed .

Lol live fhe story so far so canf wait for the next chapter an very well written 2. The voice ed been hearinv is it pride somehow?

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE! PLEASE! IMA BEGGIN YA! THIS IS TOO AWESOME YA HEAR?!

Personally, I'm a little bit sick of every awesome main character in fanfiction always being put in Gryffindor, and also I kind of think he'd be in Hufflelpuff, the house of loyalty, considering how loyal he is to those he cares about and how far he'd go for them, but I also see your point. And besides, this story has been really well written so far, so... Just ignore me, I'm a bad person. :)

But if this is just after Laboratory 5, Hughes wouldn't be dead yet and if he was, Ed wouldn't have known about how death until much later.

You should back space and start a new line whenever someone new is talking, or else it gets confusing. Ex)

"My little brother" Ed said.

"You have a little brother?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, he's doing research back home... ect"

I love continues, soon after
I wondered if there was going to be a fight between Ed and Homunculus?
A more I love

Just finished reading this story :) love it! Just wondering how long you plan on having this hiatus last

He took a sip of water, and I was like 'Okay' but then he glanced at Moody and I knew what was going on. XD

This is a really great story I hope you finish soon

Hey I know you must have a good reason for this to be on hiatus... But I kuv the story right now and I really hope you'll start it again sometime!
tontonte