Haha. Haha. It's been a while guys! Honestly, I've been holding this off as long as possible because of reasons such as school, Pokémon Go and a broken heart but I figured I should update once a year, at the very least.

So let the blood, guts and gore begin.

The Adventures of a Lovesick Idiot: Leo is Cool

Blood rushed through his ears, heating up his cheeks. Leo wasn't suited to battle. He was more of stay at home and eat nachos kind of person. The chainsaw in his tight grip felt unbalanced and he was clumsily using it to slice through his opponents. He surveyed his friends fighting to the best of their abilities. Percy with Riptide, Annabeth with her new sword of drakon bone, Jason with his scary lance, Piper with her dagger, Hazel bulldozed through the enemy ranks riding her faithful stallion Arion and Frank was… 'Wait a second, where was Frank?' he thought.

Leo looked around for a buff Asian guy and before spotting a giant crab, slicing through his enemies with his pincers, two at a time. 'Nevermind, found him.'

Coach Hedge probably would've been swinging his club around if it weren't for the fact that he was busy tending to Chuck Bruce Jackie Hedge – his newborn son – and Mellie.

And meanwhile Leo was ungracefully hacking at whatever was in front of him, praying for the best that no camper happened to walk in front of him. He heard a loud thump below him and saw a rabid wolf fall to the ground.
"Aw yeah!" he grinned. Just his luck.

However, things weren't going as well for everyone else. Katie was struggling with a snarky-looking Roman. Decked out in chest armour and faded jeans, she was up against a girl in a full suit of bronze armour, fastened with sturdy leather straps. Leo looked at the way the enemy moved. Even when burdened with possibly over a hundred pounds of solid metal, she still zipped around as if she was on speed steroids.

'She's fast,' he thought. Thinking that Katie needed help, Leo ran at full speed towards the Roman girl only to be beaten to it by Travis who had snuck up from behind her and kicked her to the ground. Travis stepped his left foot onto her fallen figure and knocked her out with a quick blow to the head.
"Thanks, I guess," Katie sulked, "I could've dealt with her by myself though."

"Yeah right," Travis retorted, "With your little flowers?"

Katie clenched her fists in anger,
"I show you little flo-"

At which point Leo realised he had to remind them of the enemy attackers. He ran over to them awkwardly with his large chainsaw and turned it on to get their attention.
"Guys, you can flirt as much as you want after we win this but for now, please focus on the Romans."

"But we're not-" Katie groaned.

Leo continued on sawing through the attackers' ranks until he saw it.
"Holy mother of gods," he gasped. Up ahead was a giant crowd of Romans, all in battle formation. They had shields the size of doors in a circle with archers on the inside shooting at the campers. Leo remembered this one, Jason had warned them about this one. Orbem forming or something like that. They had full defence against melee attacks but were however susceptible to ranged attacks. A chainsaw would do nothing against them.

Panicked, Leo's brain fumbled for the next course of action. He asked his toolbelt for two simple items, a box of matches and some electrical tape. He was going to make a matchbox bomb.

Will wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to infiltrate the Romans. He was currently getting a debriefing from a senior Roman healer on how to treat soldiers. They would return from the battlefield wounded or even unconscious and require immediate medical assistance.

Another injured soldier promptly arrived.

"You can try out your skills on this one," his trainer told him.

Will nodded and got to work. He cleaned the wound with a cotton swab and disinfected it with alcohol. His secret? He let three drops of nectar drip onto the reddened skin before proceeding to wrap it with clean gauze. He placed his hand over the gauze before chanting a healing haiku.

Please Dad, stop driving
Your amazing chariot
Help me heal this kid

He hoped that his dad had heard his prayer and carefully unwrapped the gauze from the Roman's leg. Like magic, the disgusting cuts covered in blood and dirt were replaced by baby soft skin without blemish.

The Roman soldier ran his hand over that area of his leg gently.
"IT'S SO SMOOTH," he giggled like a little girl, "IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GET YOUR LEG WAXED?"

Will nodded sombrely,
"Basically, except there's much more pain and screaming."

The burly soldier winced and clutched his leg to his chest.
"I think I'm fine with staying the way I am."

Octavian stood nearby and watched the entire scene unfold. This proved that Will too was a son of Apollo but the level of trust he put into the newcomer's reliability remained the same. He chewed his fingernails, would Will somehow affect the outcome of the battle between the two camps?

Leo threw his matchbox bomb at the enemies, put on his welding goggles and walked away like the cool guy in action movies who walks away from explosions with his shades on. He could hear the destruction he had caused and it made him feel giddy inside. Detonating a bomb made him feel almost as high as he did whenever he talked to pretty girls, namely Calypso.

He had thrown the matchbox right into the middle of a tortoise formation and anticipated the panic of everyone who was a part of the structure. 'They probably scrambled around in terror and dispersed only to be engulfed in cool looking flames,' Leo thought to himself. Only he didn't know if that was exactly what happened due to the fact that he had to maintain his cool façade and not look at explosions.

Little short chapter but maybe I'll come back with something longer, maybe even by the end of the year.

BRING ON THE FLAMES, COS UNCLE LEO'S HERE

~The Goddess of Duck Tape Out