Okay, so first of all hi. Second, this is my first time writing Touken. Third, I am aware that the title is kinda stupid, but yeah.

S/O to tumblr bestie Jess for beta :3

Prompt from otpprompts on tumblr

Tschüss!

Touka finished the dishes and waddled into the living room, letting out a tired sigh as she adjusted herself comfortably on the couch. 'Ugh, even doing something as simple as dishes exhausts me… Being pregnant really sucks sometimes.' Closing her eyes, she began to rub her eight month baby belly softly, hoping to soothe the little monster inside.

"You are just as, if not more, stubborn as I am.. Why can't you be calm like your father?" she whispered, shifting once again to find a more comfortable position. Which is easier said than done when you're on the very last leg of pregnancy.

Once she was as comfortable as she was going to get, she let her mind wander into unconsciousness as she slowly fell asleep. Only to be woken up ten minutes later by a strange pressure on her belly. Touka jumped slightly, snapping her eyes open and kicking her leg slightly. She raised her head enough to see her husband's chin resting just over her belly button, and sighed.

"I didn't mean to wake you up or scare you," he apologized, moving one hand to rest on her belly.

"It's fine, Kaneki. I'm just unreasonably jumpy today.." she sighed again, slipping her hands into his soft, unruly white hair.

"Mm..." Kaneki turned his head, pressing one side of his face into his wife's belly and closing his eyes slowly. Instead of getting up when she shifted positions for the third time, he simply placed his hands under her and began to massage the knots that had formed in her lower back. Touka groaned,

"Being pregnant has turned out to be way more than I bargained for and it's all your fault, stupid Kaneki."

He smiled slightly and continued to rub her back for a few seconds before saying,

"Maybe so, but I don't remember you complaining during. So I'd say you take half the blame for this."

"Tch, whatever." She lifter her leg slightly, hitting his chest with her knee. Kaneki laughed and brought his hands up to rest on her sides, almost as if he was hugging her huge belly. Touka blushed slightly, closing her eyes and running her small hand through her husband's hair. She was on the verge of falling asleep again when Kaneki suddenly twitched and raised his head to stare at her belly.

"Wha-" She was shushed by her husband as he held up one hand and laid his head in the same spot. Thirty seconds later, Touka was beginning to think that he had gone mad when his face broke out into a wide smile that covered almost half his face.

"It kicked! Touka, the baby kicked my cheek!" He exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the couch excitedly.

"All of the books you read and you're surprised by that?" She leveled her eyes at him until he stopped bouncing. "That's what babies do, you idiot. It wants out."

"Yeah, I know! But it's still exciting, don't you think? In less than a month we're going to be parents, can you believe it?" He stopped bouncing like a child, but still beamed at her.

Touka sighed and lifted one hand to flick her husband between the eyes.

"Yes, I can believe it, Kaneki. I was there when it happened, remember? I'm the one that has to push it out, too."

He blinked at the sudden tap, but kept his goofy smile and returned his head to its original position. He sighed contently, rubbing both of his big hands over the baby bump (more of a baby mountain at this point).

"But it's happening so soon. I never thought this would happen in my entire life. I can't help but be ridiculously excited and happy, you know." He kissed her belly softly. "I love you, both of you."

".. We love you too." Touka watched silently as her husband kissed the bump again and began whispering random things to it. 'It's just going to get worse once the baby comes, isn't it.. This absolutely stupid idiot.' She let out a deep breath, weaved her fingers through his hair again, and closed her eyes for that nap she had initially intended to take.

So how much do you hate it? Just tell me, I can take it. If you review (which would be hella bc I could improve my writing), don't be rude. Like, tell me what's wrong with it, but in a constructive way. Please?