Upon realising everything on my profile has been there for a few years is rather embarrassingly old and wordy and ultimately pointless, I thought I'd write something new, which will eventually become old and then... ah who reads this stuff anyway?

What I wanted to say is that after having a look at some of the first few fics I wrote I have been laughing at them and wondering why I wasn't ever flamed into hiding. Seriously I must have been lucky...

Anyway. Feel free to read them even though *WARNING* some really are exceptionally crap. But I'm too... somethingorother... to take them off. Hey it shows my progress doesn't it? And gives others hope because, seriously, if I can get to a moderately good standard after some of those... you can definitely give it a shot too :)

*shameless-self-advertising-alert*

I am probably best known for my extensive selection of Butler-based fics, or at least that's by you guys. Other people know me for other things. (Mostly stubborness, a slightly surprising power to size ratio and a strong affinity for wolves, but that is besides the point.)

If you like the Butler family then I guess you've come to the right place as that, as I have been slightly criticised about before, is pretty much all I right about. In fact, take the 'pretty much' out. All of my fics centre around something Butler-y and none of them really contain fairies. If you weren't really looking for that , the 'Back' button is in the top left of your screen.

If you're gonna read my fics, expect a slightly dark sense of humour accompanying the general genre of Action. Also, I do not claim to own The Major at all, but I rarely find other fics with him in and my version of him is projected from his two-sentence mention in the entire AF series.

Yup. That's about it. Nothing much else has changed. Still a veggie. Still a short-arse. Still writing when I should be working.

Now go on - bugger off and read something more worthwhile.

Wolfy
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Story Profiles

Have a read if you're interested, this is what I'd categorise them as.

Box of Tricks

Old, odd, one-shot stuff I was thinking of taking down. Either permanently, or just for polishing up and sticking in Lil' Rems. Occasionally though, I like looking back at them and laughing at how bad I used to be...

*Just My Cup of Tea - my first ever posted fic. The start of my writing obsession.

*Under the Ledge - me realising there were no fics with Butler and Root as characters and filling that spot.

*Winter Wonderland - ... me obsessing about snow and sibling-ness and posting up a Christmas Fic.

*One Fowl Christmas - ... I have little to say. A short attempt to stick the OCs into a fic.

*Four Man Caravan - ... Read the above. The thought was there, honest.

*Thou Shalt Not Swear - ... And again. Good idea, not so well relayed into writing haha...

*What's in a Name? - ... bit of a Crack!Fic really. Was fun to write though.

*Questions and Answers - my attempt at an 'interview-style', 'reader-interactive' fic. With debatable results...

*The Twelve Days of Christmas - a look into 12 Christmas situations based around the life of Butler. Includes Fowls and the OCs known as 'The Gang'.

Big Fics

As the name suggests; longer, chaptered fics. Some are considerably longer than others, but all were updated regularly until their completion. All 'Complete' and none currently 'In Progress'.

*The 'That Look' Incident - inspired by a quote from Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex. My first multi-chaptered fic.

*One Painkiller or Two - which could have done with a better title, to be honest. As with most of these Big Fics, it's based around the Butlers with plenty of badassary and whatnot from them.

*In the Path of Bullets - again, based on the Butlers with lots of The Major in it, as per usual.

*Dead in Absentia - my latest Big Fic dealing with the issue that Colfer killed off The Major without even giving us a proper explanation.

In Progress Collections

Collections of one-shots rather than actual, following-on chapters. Could range from anything - pretty-much guaranteed to be updated at some point.

*Little Remedies - collection of one-shots that are a bit too long to be drabbles but I decided to stick them all in one place rather than post them separately.

*All in a Night's Work - collection of one-shots based entirely on D.Butler's life ranging from 'The Academy Days' to the 'Paris Years' and with anything else from his birth to Artemis Junior's and possibly beyond. Co-Authored by Steinbock, this fic set is heavy on our own OCs. Also Known As "The Gang" you can find out more about them below. Fic collection written up by Wolfy, beta'd by Steinbock, plotted by both of us ;)

Co-authored Fics

Fics written in conjunction with another author.

*All in a Night's Work - Co-Authored by Steinbock (see above)

*The 'B' Word - a one-shot wonder with HolidayBoredom. Can be found in her one-shot collection: 'Short Circuits'

Fic Sets

A series of related 'big fics' which (will eventually) link together in a timeline.

Rough Cut - a fic-set set entirely on the life of Butler. Not just any Butler, our favourite D.Butler. The plan is to write everything from his birth up to (and a little bit beyond) his graduation. Exploring, in essence, his path to becoming a Blue Diamond. Academy Life, Manor Life, his life when living with his mother, Theresa, and her partner, Paul. Will not be posted in order. (Posting In Progress, beta'd by Steinbock)

Fics Included:

*Just Reckoning

Pack of Cardinals - a fic-set set entirely on the life of D.Butler from (just after) his graduation as a Blue Diamond, right up until the birth of his charge, Artemis Fowl Junior. Very Heavy in OCs, starring 'The Gang'. Yes Butler had a life before Artemis. And we intend to document it. (To Be Published)

The Gang

Ah yes, the mysterious, not-so-mysterious group of D.Butler's Academy mates which were pivotal in his growing up and completely fill that enigmatic time known as his twenties. There was a flat in Paris, countless 'jobs' taken on, the nickname 'Cookie' and much more. They are eight people who help make Butler the person he is. They are all qualified Blue Diamonds and their names are as follows...

Daniel 'John' Chase - Tall, strong, devout Christian, Australian, possibly the most handsome man in all the world and... completely asexual. He's the leader of The Gang, master deviser of plots and enjoys a good heist. Has very strong moral and keeps the rest of them in check.

Charles 'Banana' Smith - Red-haired, loud-mouthed, fun-loving son of an English diplomat and his trophy wife. Grew up in luxury learning to play the violin and training alongside his bodyguards. It was they who recommended Madam Ko's Academy. Got the unfortunate nickname after an ill-advised brag turned out to be quite the opposite.

Jean Altmann - Short, slight, firey-tempered, auburn-haired, Swiss-born tomboy who preys on those who underestimate her. Would rather have been born a guy, but spends her life proving to the 'boys' that anything they can do, she can most likely do it better. Likes flying fighter jets, climbing, parkour, shooting things and playing cards.

Wilhelm 'Chicago' Chigrakov - Son of The Academy doctor, Dr. Raymond Chigrakov. He grew up in The Academy, but The Gang's intake year was the first time he was old enough to join in. Bit of a mother hen, he claims it's because he's too lazy to fix his friends all the time, but it's actually because he loves to fuss about. Very big heart, strong morals, but that doesn't mean he's a pushover. He's an Academy-trained medic, which just means he could break every bone in your body... whilst naming them... and then probably put you in a body-cast whilst apologising...

Jacob 'Jake' Wesson - Big, black, gay, American... None of that mattered at Madam Ko's and in the real world pretty much anyone would think twice about giving him crap about any of those things. Mostly because he's almost the size of a Butler and looks like he could eat even the cockiest, anti-American, homophobic racist for breakfast, but also because he's a really nice guy who will take anyone under his wing. Well... unless you've shot one of his friends or insulted his pets, his cooking or his husband.

Rolando 'Ro' Di Dio - Short, sharp, born in Sicily to a family with rather tight ties to the Italian Mafia, he just loves to indulge on the stereotype by slicking his hair back, wearing pointy shoes with half-unbuttoned pink shirts and being overly-touchy feely just to make fun of himself. He's The Gang's sniper and enjoys speaking in Latin with John, drinking a lot of coffee, winding up Banana and trying to get Cookie to act on that 'ridiculous mancrush' everyone's sure he has on him.

Sean 'Panther' O'Tool - Loud, brash, no-nonsense Irishman, born in Belfast. Red-haired, although that and his penchant for picking up women is about his only similarity to Banana. The two fight like cats and dogs, but their regular breaking of the 'no hook-ups to come back to the flat' rule means they bunk in the same room and get along best when they're drunk. Got the nickname for being the only person to sneak up on Dom at The Academy. A life-changing event (not discussed due to spoilers) means that he takes a look at himself and pulls himself out of a downward spiral of alcoholism and murdering people for a living and ends up being a really decent guy. Takes time though...

Briareus 'Brian' Anthis - Crazy-eyed, mad-haired, plant-loving (in every sense), rebellious Greek. Most likely to be the recipient of the phrase "get some pants on you idiot, we've got company in five minutes', he dislikes clothing and would much rather live naked in a jungle talking to animals. Saying that, he's your guy for gadgets, herbal remedies and, if you happen to be Jake, hooking you up with his brother Phil. He's The Gang's best driver - even better when he's been smoking... well, whatever happened to be lying around. John worries about him the most, but if anyone knows their plants, it's this guy.

* If you would like to borrow any or all of The Gang, please just ask for permission and give us a mention in an A/N in your fic.
Steinbock and I would be honoured to lend them to you... and they'd be chuffed for help in their mission taking over the internet.
More information available on request *

So far, they already feature in the following fics:

*Alchemechanist's "The Almost Ones" (Jean, Jake and Panther, with mentions and/or 'dead' appearances of most of the others)

*P.S Sword's "Becoming Butler" (Dr. Chigrakov, Wilhelm's father)

Thanks for reading,

Wolfy

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