Artemis Fowl: by all accounts a perplexing character. Over the course of his still relatively short life, young Artemis had managed to successfully head his father's criminal empire, plotted to steal from a hitherto unheard of fairy civilization, rescued his father from the Russian Mafia, halted a goblin revolt, defeated criminal figurehead Jon Spyro, saved the fairy world from discovery, traveled to the lost colony of Hybras, and ventured back in time to steal a prized lemur. From himself. Not to mention the myriad awards, honorable mentions, patents, discoveries, thefts, forgeries, kidnappings, and heists the adolescent had managed to pull off over the years as well.
Many psychologists over these years as well have attempted to probe young Artemis's mind, trying to find out just what makes him tick. Impossible. Artemis Fowl's motivations and goals are beyond even the best psychological analysis, defeating the brave attempts of even the most recognized in the field. He is an enigma, first determined to rob the Lower Elements of their gold, making himself the Number One enemy of the People, then convinced to aid said People on various occasions, striking up an unforeseeable friendship with multiple fairies, one of which had been his prisoner for a short time. Amazing.
Our subject has made remarkable progress, regardless, carefully tracked by yours truly and compiled into the following report. It is safe to say that there had never quite been a mind such as Artemis's, perhaps simply because of his staggering intellect, or his clever criminal mentality, or even his obscene affluence among the Mud People. Or maybe it's something more: maybe it's because he had all of these things, and yet he still managed to change, and for the better, as many might say. The following documentation follows the events immediately following the incident involving the lemur and Opal Koboi's latest plot for world domination.
Yes, Artemis Fowl has indeed made much headway. But the best was still to come, when our subject was once again brought into fairy affairs, although many speculate he invited himself in, to work side-by-side with his old prisoner, nemesis, acquaintance, ally, and, eventually, friend, Captain Holly Short of the LEP.
And yet, it is not the events that transpired against the People's newest enemy, but the circumstances surrounding our two protagonists, fairy and human, officer of the law and criminal mastermind. They were to become so much more.
But all in good time. It is widely debated when the case began, ranging from when the first attacks were made, or when Artemis Fowl was called in, but I will do my best to sort things in order.
Chapter 1: Old FriendsArtemis never did like waiting. It didn't suit him. His brain was far too powerful, always working, electricity sparking new ideas, schemes, and plots, and so it is clearly evident why the seventeen-year-old would find no solace in tarrying for long in a single place, without so much as a cell phone to dismantle, or a fairy helmet to dissect.
No, Artemis didn't enjoy waiting at all.
The minutes ticked away on the clock, the second hand lazily flicking through the motions, counting down to 3:45, which, he delighted in knowing, was not actually correct, seeing as how his watch was synchronized exactly with Greenwich Mean Time. But that was beside the point. He sat in a crowded lobby, filled to the seams with bustling high school students, all of them eager to receive their test scores. He sat silently, calmly eyeing the clock, waiting until the Dean's office door would open and their test scores announced.
Artemis casually wiped his Armani dress pants clean as another student pressed by, enthusiastic to join the throng. Artemis could wait. He had time. Of course, he could have simply broken into the office and read his score last night, without so much bother as to pack a lock pick. He'd memorized the door code since the Dean last changed it. And yet such practices were merely out of habit now, Artemis was on the up-and-up. He'd made a promise to himself that there would be no more criminal ventures for him, no matter how petty. Besides, he already knew his test scores, having full confidence in his intellect.
And so he waited, thoughts straying to what Butler was doing, most likely cleaning out a chamber of his Sig Sauer, or polishing the Bentley. Butler was Artemis's bodyguard, a Eurasian manservant trained in martial arts, marksmanship, and Cordon Bleu cooking. Butler had been Artemis's protector since the day of his birth, and for many years a steadfast friend. He'd even managed to befriend several of the fairy people, despite having earned a rather nasty reputation during that unfortunate business at Fowl Manor all those years ago. Commander Kelp probably still had nightmares…
Which reminded him, how was Holly doing, anyway? Last he'd heard, she'd been working double time down at Police Plaza in Haven City, the People's greatest… err… haven from the Mud People: humans. There had been much chaos in recent days: Opal Koboi had escaped justice yet again, having failed in yet another bid for global conquest.
Artemis's mind strayed, turning to thoughts of how he would spend his summer once the semester was over. St. Bartleby's had been rather perplexed (and, quite truthfully, dismayed) to learn of his return, but they simply couldn't turn down a paying customer, and it also helped that his family was well known for its dubious history, albeit one they claimed to have forgone.
As he sat there, now contemplating the sole of his custom-made Italian loafers, Artemis's thoughts turned once more to recent events. Only a few months ago, he had gone off on another adventure with Holly Short, to rather strange ends, he had to admit. Kissing the fairy officer had been… exhilarating, to say the least.
But that was over and done with, he supposed. Still, he found it harder and harder to forget about Holly, despite the fact that she was approximately three feet shorter than him and of a completely different species.
Maybe, just maybe, he could work something out. After all, he was a Fowl, and he was nothing if not inventive. Perhaps…
The dean's office door creaked tentatively open, and the small, mousy man stepped out, hugging the test results to his chest. Immediately they were on him, attacking the poor man and savaging the papers, the dean's squeaky voice fighting to be heard over the melee.
Artemis sighed, rising, slicking back a rebellious patch of raven hair out of his mismatched eyes. Deciding that he could simply access the grades online later, and that the teachers were unlikely to notice his absence on the final day of semester, he simply rose and stalked out of the building.
Pale hand reaching into his coat pocket, he extracted his mobile phone, hitting the number for Butler's speed dial.
"Butler, it's me. Can you have the Bentley here in a few minutes? I'd like to get back to the manor soon. I've got some work to do." He shook himself. Why did he bother introducing himself to Butler? It was a secure line. Only he knew the number. Who else could be calling? He had to get himself straightened out. Perhaps a few days at a Swedish massage.
"Yes, Artemis. I'm on my way now."
Artemis nodded pocketing the phone without another word.
LEP Headquarters, Haven City, Police Plaza, Lower ElementsHolly strolled through the double-doors into Foaly's office, noting the general state of chaos inside. Salad boxes were everywhere, carrots littered the floor, and wires snakes out underfoot, determined to trip any unwary passerby. Foaly himself sat in front of a computer screen, fingers typing frantically as his eyes never strayed from the white glow of the monitor. Foaly was the LEP's technical genius, inventor of multiple devices used in aiding the officers in their various assignments. But in recent days, Foaly had been less interested with patenting more inventions (no mean feat, considering that Koboi still held the record by three dozen), in favor of trying to track down Opal.
It was hard work, his tail seemed to have lost some of its color due to work-related stress, and his eyes had bags under them. Poor Foaly. He'd been slaving away nonstop for several days now, determined not to lose their latest lead on Koboi's whereabouts.
"I swear Holly, we've got her this time!" he whinnied. "Our man in Disneyland Paris says that he was sure he'd spotted her, and now—"
Holly shook her head sadly, auburn hair, slightly longer than the regulation crew cut these days, swaying back and forth. "Sorry Foaly. Wasn't her."
She sighed, settling into one of Foaly's chairs, then cried out, jumping up, realizing to her dismay that her entire backside was covered in salad dressing.
Foaly didn't seem to take notice, having laid his head in his hairy hands, shaking it back and forth. "Three days, Holly. Three days we followed that lead. I was so sure we had her…"
Holly was sympathetic to her quadruped friend, and patted him on the shoulder. Sitting down once more, rather more cautiously this time, she tried to cheer her friend up. "No problem. She'll surface. Here, have a carrot." Holly tossed the orange vegetable to Foaly, but the offering was lost in him. It fell to the ground, Foaly having made no attempt to consume his favorite snack. Most unlike him.
Holly couldn't blame him. Koboi had evaded capture for quite some time now, and every day lost was another that she could find sanctuary, and replenish her powers. And a rogue fairy was dangerous, even if she was just a pixie. All it took was one human to mesmerize, and her possibilities were limitless.
She rested her head against the chair's back, shutting her eyes for a brief moment. Foaly wasn't the only one who'd been exhausted in the search for Koboi. She'd been on three Recon missions in the last day. Three. But she brought in on herself, volunteering for each one. She knew Koboi, and she couldn't give that pixie an inch. She had to be found now.
Just as her eyes began to drift shut, a small portable device buzzed in her pocket, awakening her immediately. Glancing down, she realized it was the communications tool she used to talk to Artemis on the surface. What could the Mud Boy want now?
Her hand lazily flicked the device open, the white light emanating from the screen bathing her pointed, elfin features in a white glow. She shut her eyes, still trying to sleep. "Hmm?" she grumbled, casually opening one eye. The concerned face of Artemis Fowl gazed back.
"Artemis. What's wrong? Someone shoot Butler again? Kidnap your father?"
He chuckled. Good. The Mud Boy was loosening up. "Just thought I'd check in."
"Good. I'm beat."
"What's wrong?" He sounded genuinely concerned. Strange.
Stranger still: she actually enjoyed that. Holly mentally shook herself. She hadn't been the same since that time-traveling stint a few months ago. And neither, she suspected, had Artemis. Things had happened there that she still felt guilty about. Poor kid, he was still an adolescent, when she thought about it. Still a kid.
No. Not really. Artemis had never been a kid, at least not while she'd known him, and his body had finally caught up to his maturity, she supposed. And still, she was of a similar age to him, when she thought about it. It took fairies decades to mature, and they were roughly the same age, when compared by their life spans…
No. She had to stop thinking like that. Something had changed in her in the time stream. Something had changed in them both. That kiss in the gorilla exhibit… She still remembered it. Holly would never admit it to herself, but she occasionally dreamed about it. Then again, she'd been younger, altered by the stream. Artemis was just a friend.
"Nothing, nothing. Just looking for Koboi. She's been giving us the slip again."
"Need me to come down there?"
Again with the concern. "No. No, it's okay. Last thing we need is a stinking Mud Man scaring all the civilians."
Man. Man? Was he a man now? It seemed only yesterday that Artemis had imprisoned her, tormented her, made her believe she'd betrayed the People. He'd been just a selfish little boy.
But he'd come so far since then. They'd come so far…
Noticing Foaly's bemused stare, she quickly averted her eyes, blushing, fearing that he'd figured out more than he let on. Luckily for her, the device was angled away, so Artemis didn't catch it.
Artemis laughed at her comment, oblivious to her embarrassment. Shaking his head, his azure and hazel eyes met with hers as he spoke. "Anyway, Butler and I just got back to Fowl Manor. We'll talk soon, I suppose. I need the company. Anyway, nice talking to you, Holly."
The camera died, and Artemis Fowl's face vanished. Holly sat there for a moment, then rose slowly. She walked out of the office, leaving Foaly to contemplate what he'd just seen.
What he wouldn't give to find out just what happened in the time stream.