Name: Tony

age 19

Sex: overrated and male

RIP ROBIN WILLIAMS

I HAVE A FORUM NOW I WILL POST ALL OF MY CHALLENGES THERE

Forum Link: /myforums/narutoharemlover/4786517/

Hobbies: reading fanfic messing with my little sister, playing games reading manga, watching Anime and writing challenges basically I have no life

i tryed to make a story but it was a bust not enought ideas microsoft word won't work so it got deleated i am sorry to the 8 people who wanted to see it work out i am sorry i only stoped becuase microsoft wont work when it will i will post once more

Does anyone know who did the creepypasta known as cupcakes i read it years ago and i want to meet this man

I can't write story's but I have a lot of ideas for the writers on this site I wish to write but my mind won't work that way so I will try to post challenge on my profile

GREATEST RUSSIAN SONG EVER (Katyusha)

If you think Naruto would have been better if Sasuke was a girl copy and paste this to your profile page

Roses are red, The air grows thick, With the smell of death, The clock still ticks. The blood that flows, out of my heart, Pulls me into you, so we're never apart. And as i gaze upon your now lifeless soul. The clock ticks once more, and chimes its final toll

Got a problem with me? Solve it.
Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoes.
Can't stand me? Sit down.
Can't face me? Turn around.
Hate my page? Get off it.

Challenges

X

#0 Naruto and grim tails from down below Naruto is a strong demon living in the under world for millions of years now he is found by grim asked to protect his youngest from the darkness inside her living in her shadow now with her death he is free once more but he is still tied to her soul now with her patch work body he must protect her from the outside what will happen now and why are all of these young girls coming to him for protection this is a harem naruto must be a shadow fox demon that can change his form he has all the powers of nergal but much more powerful he must speak the same as minimandy and minnie must be very jealous of the other girls in the harem but puts up with them because it makes him happy grim always makes threats about harming minnie girls in the harem Minnie, Chi, Mimi, Bell, Jenny, and Bubbles, add more if you want please try this challenge.

X

#1 Naruto and adventure time crossover where naruto is the son of the ice king. Naruto is cold and disconnected in the story he must not be evil and the ice king is kidnapping the princess because he hopes for grandekids one day. This is a harem he must have complete control over snow, ice, water, and frost he must not hate his father for what he is but he must try help his father to return to who he was when he raised him and Marceline naruto and marceline had a fallout one hundred or so years ago what about is up to you. Girls I would like to see in the harem Flame Princess( can be a star cross lover relationship) Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, Lumpy Space princess(she ate the antidote from the lumpy jake episode I fill that she did not get enough love in the show) and Fionna (female Finn) you can add more if you want to please try this challenge

challenge taken by thenewjubi

/s/10575422/1/The-Prince-of-Ice READ THIS IT IS GOOD

X

#2 Naruto story uzu was not destroyed until naruto was 14 he grew up with his grandfather after his mother died giving birth to him and his twin sister his father is not the yondame hokage he is a full blood uzumaki he is still the kyuubi host. He must be a seal master he must have red hair he must be a swords master he will have lost his arm his sister must give her life for naruto in the invasion uzu must fall with only one survivor naruto this story is a harem. He must be forever love uzu and never join another village. Girls i would like to se in the harem. Haku, Sakura (not required), Hinata{not required but will like}, Tenten, Fuu, Older Hanabi, more if you want please try this.

X

#3 Naruto and fallout crossover the elemental nations are a simulation naruto is banished from the leaf and wakes up to a world he does not know 5 years later Tenten, Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Yakumo are sent to find him and wake up with no way back they must find naruto to survive. Narutovers girls I would like to see in the harem Tenten, Hinata (if you want), Ino, Sakura from shippuden (if you want) and Yakumo more if you want but they must have a background and a story to tell of there life in the wasteland. Fallout girls I would like to see in the harem but you can do what you want are Veronica, Sunny smiles, Cass, bittercup, Lucy wast, Tyanya Christoff(the antAgonizer), Red, Clover, Amata, Christine royce, Dr Dala in lobotomize body, more if you want

{hinata S4 P10 E7 C5 I10 A9 L6} {Tenten S6 P7 E9 C7 I8 A7 L7} {Ino S4 P5 E4 C10 I4 A8 L3} {Sakura S10 P3 E3 C9 I10 A8 L7} { Hanabi S7 P10 E8 C4 I10 A7 L4} {Yakumo S2 P7 E2 C3 I7 A4 L8} the rest can be found on the internet SKILLS, PERKS and levels are up to you. Naruto must have 100 in all stats and 10 in all specials naruto must be the lone wander if the lone wander is not female and the courier if courier he must be dark. He must have a harem must have all the downloadable content naruto must occasionally look for car parts for a car he is repairing no modern-day cars only cars from the game and vertibird mod for fallout new Vegas for traveling between the capital waste land and the Mojave waste land ( can be seen on YouTube please try this)

Doctor dala http:///?offset=24&view_mode=2&order=24&q=DALA one down

X

#4 Naruto and Skyrim naruto leaves the elemental nations with the power of a elder scroll he is transported to skyrim and is found wounded by the high king and is adopted by him 10 years later he is out to avenge his father while dealing with his destiny as the Dragon born and a certain million year old vampire following him. Pairing naruto harem to insure the noble house of uzumaki (I have always wanted to say that). Skyrim girls I would like to see in the harem Katria (can be a ghost or alive) , Serana, Aela the huntress, Lydia, Ysolda, Sylgja, Muiri (you can add more if you want). He must have been trained as a blacksmith (can make all the mod armor if you want) and is a master must be a vampire Lord must join all the guilds and must be a harem naruto must be a ningheim nord (look it up) please try it.

The Ningheim are a rare race of Nord or Nede who have been gifted by The Nine with otherworldly vision to serve as a physical connection between the realm of the spirits and that of the living. Ningheim usually grow up in secluded areas, with or without protectors. It is not known how a Ningheim Nede comes to existence or where they come from, but folk-lore tells each and every one of them is specially selected by The Nine. They share the same traits as regular Men, though they usually have a striking, almost other-wordly, beauty which is said to be caused by the good health they maintain through their powerful souls. From birth a Ningheim's soul will change into what eventually become a tool to wield great power, as they are gifted with many abilities that are unfathomable by regular men over the course of their life. With the ability to look into another's mind, and even their very souls, a Ningheim is always feared no matter if they are good, evil or anything in between. Their gaze alone can break the will of their foes, their magicka can command souls, and with their powerful will they can take on any obstacle.

Race powers:

* Spirit Control: The influence of your soul's power can now twist the souls of the dead to fight for you. Turn undead into ally for 60 seconds. Type: Twice a day Power. Gained at level 8.
* Ethereal Shift: The soul has developed and can sustain on its own. Enables a Ningheim to instantly transfer the soul to another place and rematerialize around it. Type: Lesser Power, will work for as long as you have the required magicka. Gained at level 10.
* Soul-shattering Gaze: Increased reserves of spiritual energy can cripple your foe by showing a glimpse of your soul's true power. Paralyze a foe for 10 seconds with a chance to paralyze all foes around if the target has less than 20% health. Type: Twice a day Power. Gained at level 15.
* Watchful Eye of The Nine: Receive "Divine Intervention" of The Gods once your health drops below 20%. Type: Daily Power, auto-equipped. Press power-button (default='Z') to use when you get the notification. Gained at level 20.
* Soul Ignition: A Ningheim with an overwhelming amount of spiritual energy can become powerful enough to touch another's soul and set it ablaze. Type: Twice a day Power. Gained at level 30.
* Soul Shade: Ningheim have enormous might, which comes with great responsibility. Take the darkness from the soul and turn it into a powerful follower for 2 minutes. Type: Daily Power. Gained at level 35.

I do not own the ninghelm

X

#5 Naruto story the konoha 12 jump 13 years in to the future do to a seal gone wrong where everyone is 25 while they are still 13 now they meet with there future selfs but where is the future hinata and why is the future naruto dead inside and what is with the hospital tools in a 4 year old's room with toys laying around covered in dust yet no child in site and why is naruto visiting the graves of a child and a woman. If you can't figure it out then naruto and hinata got married then hinata died giving birth then their daughter dies at the age of 4 three months before the konoha 12 arrive and Naruto becomes suicidal and can't even live properly and needs help since he does not want to live anymore must be sad with drama pairing is harem.

X

#6 Naruto, Teen Titans and Darkness crossover Naruto was born and raised in jump city his parents died when he was young his life was directed to raising his little sister but his world is destroyed when his little sister is gunned down on the streets something breaks inside and unleashes his power now he will be a shield of the weak a sword to the wrong he will not sacrifice fue for the many he will not still his hands from the blood of evil he is the twin snakes of the dark. Naruto must not be afraid to kill if it is needed he must be cold, smart, strong and dark he must pray every day asking for forgiveness even tho he knows that it will not come this is a harem. Girls I will like to see terra, raven, starfire, jinks, blackfire and female beastboy more if you want no narutovers people in the story will you please try it is free.

Female beastboy http:///images01/24/ac4603c9a26a62add4c8b78a101dffc6/l.jpg

Challenge taken by The lone swordswolf

X

7 naruto and thunder cats crossover naruto is a nineteen years old Fox trying to make a living as a sell sword and explorer in this hard world but while exploring a old ruin he finds something special what he finds is a cursed blade the Sword of plun-Darr now he must help the thunder cats on their quest while slowly losing himself to the cursed blade but can a certain speeding feline, sword of omens welding princess and a lullaby playing kitten pull him back from the swords whispers of dark power. Naruto must have the sword of Plun-Darr with two of the stones of power. He must have pre-existing sword training is he must be smart and kind when not under the swords influence this is a harem story with cheetara, female lion-o, and wilykit in it please try this challenge.

X

8 naruto and code geass crossover when Princess Lulu and Princess Nunnaly are banished Naruto bodyguard of the recently deceased Lady Marianne renounces his knighthood to follow his Lady's daughters to ensure their safety everything is going well till naruto meets a certain green hired witch and gains geass. Naruto must have zero's geass he must be zero Lulu and Nunnaly must not know that naruto is zero or any connection with the black knights until later this is a harem story. Girls I would like to see in the harem female Lelouch, Nunnaly, C.C, Kallen, Shirley, older Jiang Lihua, older Kaguya Sumeragi, Cornelia, Euphemia, older Anya Alstreim.

X

#9 Naruto, one peace and pirates of the Caribbean. Years upon years I have served on this ship fairyed the souls of the dead to the after life I have seen the continents shift shipmates come and go with my captain dead my time is now with me at the helm of the flying Dutchman and her pet as well and with the sea godess's favour I shall be the king of the pirates. Naruto must be captain of the flying Dutchman he must be davey jones first mate when he was the captain he must have Jack's gear he must be a strong, smart and dark this story is a harem naruto must command respect from other pirates girls in the harem are up to you but have girls from pirates of the Caribbean and from one peace.

X

#10 naruto and yu-gi-oh crossover while out in a training ground naruto trying to improve his skills he falls into a pit to find it is really a crypt where he finds he can read the ancient tomes written on the walls thay tell of powerful summons sealed in stone tablets inside the earth with a book and 2 mythical artifacts a magical scale and eye under his control he must hunt down the missing 5 items if he wishes to be the greatest ninja and pharaoh the world has ever seen. Naruto must have the millennium eye implanted into his eye socket he must find the other 5 through out the story but he must pass challenges and quests to get them he must use all of them if only once but he must use them He still uses Ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu he must only use the millennium items in a time of great danger or need Naruto must not be over powered he must be low chunin in strength by the time the chunin exams come and high chunin level at the end of the search for the fifth hokage ark this story is a harem Hinata is appreciated but not required to be in it but there must be Ishizu Ishtar(she is his age and only girl from the yu-gi-oh universe) as Naruto's guide a tomb keeper and one of the harem girls the rest are up to you

X

#11 Naruto story the shinobi world is more like ancient japan with samurai clans instead of ninja and they are very controlled by there religion but what happens when two aliens that created the human race and is seen as a god and goddess crash lands after great damage to there ship in a dogfight with another alien but even as they crashed they killed the other alien now on a planet of there own making with more coming he must protect all that he holds dear from the incoming storm. Naruto must be the male alien the female is a girl of you choice Naruto must have supernatural powers he must accept that the humans think that they are gods. They must not tell them that they are not gods. Naruto must have a harem of narutovers girls and alien girls. can be crossover with other shows about space if you want.

X I am the first one to give this crossover any thought

#12 Naruto and My Life as A Teenage robot. It was supposed to be a normal day go to school pick up jenny and go out to have fun but that didn't happen. There's just flashes of what I can remember a green light a truck and Jenny's screams. I was dead I knew it but now I wake up in miss Wakeman's basement 13 years later. my body now 76% machine and additional armor ports. I am now a weapon to protect my world i must stand firm but I am not alone for I am Naruto I am X-J10. Naruto and jenny are cyborgs after a car crash they must look human under there full body armor (think of the terminator moves remove able skin on parts of there body's to hide Circuitry and small weapons) paring is Naruto and jenny more if you want human or cyborg

#13 Naruto, daily life with monster girl and Rosario vampire. I don't really know what happened one second I was getting transported to my host family the next I am waking up on the ground surrounded by a harpy, a slime, a Lamia,a centaur, a Mermaid and one of my own kind I can't remember the past five months where am I why are these girls so affectionate to me aren't they afraid of my spider like body and why am I talking to my self! Naruto is a male Arachne the girls never fell in love with Kurusu and he was Naruto's host and they all have full human forms this is a harem the girls from daily life are required you can add more if you want

Anyone interested in any of my challenges PM me before you post the first chapter so you can tell me the name so I can read it when it is posted thank you and good luck

Favorite pairings

Naruto-Hinata

Naruto-hanabi

Naruto-shion

Naruto-sara

Naruto-amaru

Naruto-fuuka

Naruto-amaru

Naruto-karin

Naruto-shizuka

Naruto-koyuki

Naruto-yakumo

Naruto-kushina

Naruto-twin/younger sister (incest is the best give your sister the test Hahahah)

Naruto-isaribi

Naruto-haku (she is a girl I don't care what cannon said)

Naruto-sakura shippuden (the pre time skip is a big fat bitch

Naruto-ino

Naruto-fuu

Naruto-Harem he needs it he never had love in his life so he gets it in these stories (Hinata has to be in it if she is in the fic)

This is for all those hate naru/hina pairing FUCK YOU so what if the pairing is used a lot that just means that the pairing is one that is really popular for it to be used so much and to hate this pairing simply because it is used a lot is rediculous and pathetic reason to hate it.

The male equivalent of the 10 Commandments

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.

15 WAYS TO DRIVE PEOPLE INSANE:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

4) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."

5) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

6) Don't use any punctuation

7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

8) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

9) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

10) Sing along at the opera.

11) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

12) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

13) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!"

14) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

15) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

XXX

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. As well as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination
As soon as Bunny has fulfilled his duty, Bob (the evil sorcerer) will take over the rule.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.

If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.

If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.

If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

And so are you,

But the roses are wilting,

The violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty,

And so is your head.

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is a cat.

This is retard cat.

This is busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

This is seconds cat.

. . . Now go read the third word in each line :D

35 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

100 Stupid Things To Do

1. Forget to put the lid on the blender, turn it on, and have everything fly out

2. Get your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside . Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store off their property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jam

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people (Yes!)

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird

88.When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!!