A/N: WARNING.

I'm going to say it right now, guys and gals the pairing here is going to be a harem. And a large one at that. Probably the largest undertaking I've ever attempted, with each character having their own arc of sorts. If that's not your cup of tea, feel free to click away now. Of course, if you stay...

...you're going to be in for a rare and unique treat!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to Fate Stay Night or its properties.

...I have no excuse. I blame Fate Grand Order for this.

I've been on a craze of it lately.

Its a massive inspiration!

Furthermore, Greyblueflames98 was in part the one to push me in this direction, so more power to him. Check out his story "Deck of Heroes", its a great tale which deserves WAY more reviews than it presently has. Now, after a long time of debating on what to do, I decided to try an amusing route. Granted this story will be mostly serious, but it'll have its moments of levity as well. Considering the massive cast of characters that are going to be brought into this...

I think I'll call this...

...A King's Whim.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

This also explores the often unused avenue of Naruto deciding to go for the Scroll of Sealing, but events backfire.

Horribly.

Consider more a "Look what I can do!" moment on his part rather than being goaded by Mizuki. A minor change perhaps, but the smallest pebble can still make the mightiest of ripples. Furthermore, I feel it should be mentioned that Naruto is of Shippuden age in this story due to being held back time and time again and for the sake of the story itself. Everyone else? Part I ages and the like, save for him.

Trust me, there's a very important reasoning for this.

One you'll soon see.

With me so far?

Great! Now off we go!

"What is a king to a god?"

"What is god to a non-believer?"

"Do you believe now?"

~?

A King's Whim

Boredom.

The act of feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one's current activity.

It is the great enemy of existence. Inexorable. Implacable. Insatiable. It spares neither man nor king nor the gods themselves. It knows know mercy. No pity. Wars have been started for less. Entire countries have fallen to the whims of a bored monarch or a restless dictator. Lives have ended or begun, merely to slake its thirst. It overshadows all. Consumes all. Such is its way. To resist is meaningless; one only becomes entangled in its web. Once you're caught within its grasp you have two options.

Yield.

Or overcome it.

Gilgamesh was no exception to this.

Having fought in countless wars, triumphed over the very gods themselves, the King of Uruk loathed boredom. Indeed to speak of such a thing in his presence was anathema. He'd conquered countless enemies. Destroyed all who challenged him. But this, THIS was a foe he couldn't defeat! No amount of weapons could hope to bring it down. Not even Ea. Even now it mocked him with its silence. He could destroy this world of course. Indeed, it was well within the realm of his ability to do so. But then there would truly be nothing, and nothing was worse than boredom.

Unacceptable!

For a King who'd sampled all the pleasures that there were to offer, this brave new world should have been appealing. Entertaining. Amusing at the very least. Yet it was anything but. The inhabitants of this realm were so very fragile and those who weren't were mongrels unworthy of his attention. And so the conundrum. Time and again this impassable wall arose to challenge him! While these villages might be boorish, they at least offered some paltry form of amusement despite his refusal to enter them. Perhaps if they threw a festival in his honor... but no, these mongrels did not understand his greatness. Indeed, they refused to accept it. For one who had seen the "truth" of the Grail, such behavior was unacceptable.

That alone demanded recompense!

But if he destroyed them...

In short, he found himself at an impasse.

One of his own making at that.

Ten years ago, by some strange twist of fate he'd found himself in this new world with no way to return. The land had the "touch" of someone else, which in turn suggested that others from his realm had once found their way here and made this place their home. Perhaps in its madness, the Grail had unwittingly reopened that path for him. Nevertheless, the King had arrived here. Deposited by the corrupted miracle that was the Holy Grail with a physical body no less. Into a realm of strife. A land of war. Yet this world was unworthy of him! He was ageless and superior. He had no need of a companion. And yet...and yet...these mongrels! It wasn't that he underestimated them, indeed, he was cautious because of that very reason! There abilities were varied, their numbers legion. Yet they were all. So. WEAK!

Unworthy of his rule!

What was strength when none could compare to you?

Of what worth were his treasures when he had no use for them?

Why even deign to interact with these mongrels at all then, if wasn't amusing?

Thus, when the opportunity to escape the endless cycle of boredom presented itself, who was he to refuse?

The King of Heroes viewed the commotion in the forest below as a more than mere chaos. He saw it as an opportunity. A chance to add another item to his vaunted collection. Snatches of conversation floated up to him on the wind, carried by harried voices. Some boy had stolen a scroll. Not just any scroll. The Scroll of Sealing. Interesting. Very interesting! Apparently this oh-so-precious item contained the "secrets" of this world and a fair number of others. And this boy had somehow surmounted their elite defenses to steal it? Finally a reprieve from this endless monotony!

He'd "liberate" the boy from his burden of course. It was only just.

No matter the world, nor the realm, it was all his garden.

All treasures originally belonged to him.

He was merely reclaiming them.

Unbidden, an idea arose.

Hmm.

Yes.

Perhaps if he used "those" then he might finally escape this boring, lackluster existence.

Given proper "motivation" he supposed even a Faker could be entertaining...

(...Somewhere Within Konoha...)

Naruto wasn't very smart.

In reality, he was quite dense.

It took him more time to grasp certain concepts than others, but once he did, he took them to an exceptional level. Ludicrous, even. The boy considered it one of his finer points. Once he set his mind to something neither kings nor kage nor the shinigami could budge him from it. The sun itself could burn out, and he would die still clinging firmly to his ideals. He possessed a rare quality for determination that those triple his age lacked. To put it plainly? The boy didn't give up. If there was a will, then there was a way, as the saying goes.

Set a goal for him, and he'd surpass your wildest expectations.

On this fateful night, someone had pushed him to go that one step further.

To steal that which had never been stolen. To take what had never been taken. To claim that which had lain unclaimed for decades. If he pulled off this task, he'd finally be a ninja. He'd show them all. Prove himself to the world. Finally get the recognition he so craved. It never once occurred to him that he might have been duped. Deceived. Not to say he was a fool of course. Far from it. The boy was simply too trusting. Far too trusting for his own good. He'd never once considered that Mizuki might have...alternative motives. And why should he?

After all, he'd never once tasted the sting of betrayal in his fifteen years of life.

Despair perhaps, loneliness certainly, but betrayal?

How could he possibly expect it?

Betrayal implied someone would have to be close enough to Naruto to betray him in the first place. His bonds with his classmates were strained at best, frayed at worst. Few wanted anything to do with the class clown, the loser, the dead last. The one individual that actually did was so beyond his ken of understanding, that he didn't even know them. No, none realized his smile was a front; a facade to hide the pain he truly felt. They did not see how desperately he sought their attention with his pranks, nor did they realize that their laughter, their jeers, were a thousand knives beneath his skin.

He'd have the last laugh after tonight.

That aside, stealing the Scroll had been...almost too easy, all things considered.

The Old Man had been laid out with a single Sexy Jutsu.

Escaping had been a moot point from there.

In the end, Naruto had run as fast and far as legs could carry him-which was considerable considering the sheer depth of his chakra-and sprawled out in the forest.

From there, it was merely a matter of reading.

In all his wildest dreams, he'd never imagined he'd find so many secrets stashed inside something this large. There was the knowledge of the forbidden Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, for example. When one created a clone and then dispersed it, all the clones memories were brought back to him. In combat, the original could essentially learn from his own failures, without ever making them! Hasty notes were scrawled within. Having already developed a basic grasp of such a concept, Naruto had immediately opted to put it to practical use...

...in a rather unconventional way.

Presently, every able-bodied shinobi in the village was chasing a horde of shadow clones, each armed with a disguised log, masquerading as the Scroll of Sealing; thereby freeing the original to peruse the secret of the real scroll at his leisure. As he delved deeper into its myriad depths however, there were less and less jutsu to be found oddly enough. Oh, there were all kinds of S-Class secrets sealed within to be sure, but the boy didn't pay attention to them, for they were far beyond his grasp. Best not to break the fourth wall on this one no?

Eventually he came upon a portion of text so faded and worn he could scarcely decipher it.

"Huh?" The genin-to-be peered at its contents idly brushing his fingers across the tattered text. It came to life at his touch, brightening beneath his fingers. Huh? These weren't jutsu. He read on, frantically scanning both the images and the text, hastily filing everything away as fast as his young mind could process it.

What the hell was a Class Card?

There came the mention of things such as Prana, Noble Phantams, spells.

And then there were other, more macabre meanings.

It told of a Holy Grail War, a great battle in the past, and instructions as to how one might triumph in such a battle. Components, machine parts, needed to build...a time machine? What the devil?! Naruto read carefully from there on out, sparing no detail, no mater how inconsequential it might seem. He found the matter of a wish-granting system to be hopelessly complex, and abandoned it outright. Other secrets, however, raced right up his alley. Reinforcement. Presence Concealment without usage of chakra-again the concept of Servants arose-methods of detecting sources of power, and so on.

So much to read!

There was even mention of something called Servants and the like. Those, Naruto committed to memory. Anything that could increase this strength he carefully filed away in the annals of his mind. Some things, were best left forgotten of course, but he struggled to cram them into his brain nonetheless. Anything that would help make him a better genin. Anything to reach his dream. To be acknowledged. Recognized. Now, he just had to do his best to elude pursuit. After all, Mizuki-sensei was certainly going to be in for one hell of a surprise when he showed him all that he'd learned-

Poof.

Naruto jolted back to reality as his thumb accidentally brushed something it shouldn't have.

Reacting to his touch, the miniature seal spat its contents into his lap.

Launched, actually.

"Oomph!" Grunting in surprise as much as pain, the blond massaged his aching stomach and sought the source of his sudden discomfort. "What in the world...?"

Revealed was a small rectangular box of sorts, firmly bound by a golden cord. Black as the shadows themselves, its ebony surface seemed to gleam in the faint moonlight, begging to be opened. Questing for his attention. No, that wasn't quite right. It felt...different. Warm to the touch. Almost alive. Yet...not. As though it were a piece apart from reality itself. A strange pull emanated from the mysterious box, tugging at his heartstrings and his hand almost started towards it before he caught himself. Still, it called to him.

Unbidden, his fingers twitched.

Open it.

Naruto wasn't sure if that voice belonged to him or another, but the desire remained.

He wanted to see what was inside. He wanted to know what lurked within.

Consumed by curiosity, Naruto found himself helpless to resist.

Gingerly, he freed the knot and unwrapped the cord.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

His task completed, the boy's hands closed around the lid, only to jerk back with a yowl as a burning pulse seared through his hands. An eerie image flickered in his mind, unfocused. Indistinct. When he reached for it, the scene vanished, reeling through his fingers. Undaunted, he reached for the lid again. The box was no longer warm to the touch; if anything it felt cold. Not willing to wait any longer, he jerked it free. He'd half-expected to find a weapon within, a seal of some sort, or perhaps even a smaller scroll revealing some almighty jutsu.

Instead he found...

...cards?"

Countless cards, more than he could even begin to number, each bearing a myriad design of sorts.

Some held many stars.

Others, more.

Again that image flickered in his mind, but in his anger Naruto foolishly dismissed it.

He nearly despaired.

What kind of joke was this?!

Incredulous he held the box aloft.

All that work, all that running around...for a friggin' deck of cards?

"Boss!"

Naruto jerked upright with a startled hiss, his hands binding the box with the cord and slamming it into one of his many pockets. Moments later, a body came crashing through trees and into the clearing. Iruka?! No! Not now! To his relief, it was only one of his clones. But his relief faded the moment he saw the doppelganger's condition. Poor thing looked like it'd gone through a meat grinder and back again. Clothes lay tattered in rags around it shoulders, its body battered. The clone's left eye was already swollen shut, and right looked to be well on its way.

"W-What happened?!" He asked as the clone flopped forward its goggled forehead striking the dirt with a resounding thud.

"Too many...too strong...

With a resounding 'poof' the clone vanished in a plume of smoke.

"Uh-oh."

Then the memories of said clone hit Naruto like a jack-hammer, sending the boy stumbling. They'd been defeated already?! But how-oh. He'd failed to account for his utter lack of skill, where the basics of hand-to-hand combat were concerned. His genjutsu was abysmal, he couldn't control his chakra properly for ninjutsu, and even his taijutsu fell far, far below par. His only real techniques were the sexy jutsu and while it proved most effective in ending male pursuit he realized he'd inadvertently roused the entire female populace against him.

And they were headed straight for him!

Crossing his fingers, the blond groaned and hastily summoned another horde of clones. A command transformed the copies into a more "enticing" form that would undoubtedly attract the attention of his pursuers. Quietly bemoaning the increasing drain on his reserves, he sent them off towards the distant mob. There. This trick would buy him some time certainly, but not much. He had no intention of being anywhere near here when they eventually discovered his ruse. Crazy women! They'd fall on him like vultures to meat!

"Right, then." he grunted, forcing himself to stand on numbed legs. Wincing, he hastily gathered the scroll in his arms. "Time to go-

"Ah, there you are, Naruto." A deceptively gentle voice floated to him on the wind. "I've been looking for you."

Mizuki?

Relief-foolish, foolish relief-flooded the boy as he turned to face his teacher. Yes! He was so close now! All he had to do was demonstrate what he'd learn and then-

"Who gave you permission to speak, mongrel?"

A golden blur streaked past Naruto's head.

Followed by another.

Then another.

Another still.

Another.

CRUNCH.

Mizuki didn't so much see the weapons in the dark as he did sense them. Years of honed instinct gave him that much. Regardless, it made little difference in the end. Despite his frantic attempts to evade the five-pronged assault, he was only partially successful. The first blade clipped his right shoulder and sent him spinning in place. The second slammed into his stomach, obliterating the organs within in grisly red relief. The third punched through his thigh and dropped to a knee even as the fourth sheared through his chest. The sheer force of the fifth, an ax, ripped the would-be defector him from his feet and drilled him into a tree.

In the end, the traitor died without so much as a scream.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

The sharp and sudden sound of clapping shattered Naruto's disbelief.

"Well done," a rich, regal voice intruded upon his melancholy, its owner appearing as though on a golden breeze. "You've given me quite the show tonight, mongrel. After all, its not often I get to see so many fools chasing their own tails. Let alone silence one."

Naruto froze.

Regal.

A king among kings.

In a word, this man was royalty.

Clad in golden armor beyond compare, he exuded arrogance from the very core of his being. No, this man was arrogance. Superiority personified. A being that defied imagination. Eyes the color of fresh blood observed the world and declared it as his own. Everything belonged to him. The land. The sea. The very sky itself. Truly, there could be no contest. No challenge. No resistance. The world would continue or end at his whim. Naruto's mind continued to blurt out these incomprehensible thoughts as he beheld the golden king who had just taken Mizuki's life. What was he? What was this immense pressure he felt emanating from him...?!

Numbed, he spoke.

"You...killed him. Why?"

Harsh laughter greeted him.

"Why? I need no reason to slaughter a dog. Rejoice, for he has served his purpose. Besides," those eerie scarlet orbs narrowed upon him, "That mad dog intended to betray you and take the scroll for himself. Did you not know this?"

"B-Betray...?"

Trembling eyes turned towards what remained of Mizuki's mangled corpse. The storm of swords had rendered it nearly unrecognizable, his twisted face frozen in his final moments of horror. In another world he might have revealed the boy's secret and irrevocably altered his life forever. But now? He went to his grave with the knowledge. And thus, the boy's world changed.

Perhaps for the better.

Perhaps not.

Who can say?

Try as he might, his tongue finally got the better of him.

"Who...the hell are you?"

Red eyes found him in an instant.

"You there. Boy." were the next word to escape his divine countenance. "You have the deck?" he didn't wait for an answer, for he must have found what he sought in his eyes. "Good. You'll learn to use it in time. You have my thanks for that, at least. Now...

...um, now?"

"BOW."

When the order reached Naruto's ears, his body automatically did as told.

With a lurch his legs betrayed him; before he rightly knew what was happening he found himself on a single knee with his face toward the dirt.

"Wait, why am I kneeling to some guy in gold armor?!"

Despite his thought, Naruto didn't get up.

No, rather, he couldn't.

There was something about this regal individual that just compelled him to obey.

Even though he was against it.

He had no choice, no say in the matter.

Whoever he was, the man smirked as he tilted his head down at the boy.

Like an indulgent king addressed his subjects, he spoke to him.

"It is proper for a peasant to show respect to his King, especially when their ruler is about to reward them." As he spoke, the unknown man lifted a gold-clad wrist, revealing two cards in his hand. One bore silver designs, the other seemed to be etched with gold itself. Again Naruto was struck by the image of a card in his mind. His hand almost stretched out-but fear of having it lopped off held him back. He knew in his heart of hearts that he was no match for this man. To defy him was to die. To anger him was to die. To breathe without permission was to die.

"Eh? Reward?" Despite his fear, he couldn't help but be confused. What had he done to deserve a reward?

As if he sensed the boy's conundrum, the golden man gave a simple elaboration.

"All the mongrels chasing fakes has been quite amusing." he declared. "It has been some time since I've been this entertained. Now, here is your gift."

Once more, Naruto saw the two cards.

Now, the golden king held them face down, revealing the backs decorated with their unique designs.

"I have no need for these things, perhaps you will find enjoyment in them." With those words, the cards were almost carelessly dropped, and Naruto's hand reflexively shot up to grab at them. Looking back, perhaps that was a mistake on his part. Perhaps it wasn't. Regardless, the second his skin made contact with the silver one, a spark of energy flew out. Within moments it was joined by countless others, each latching onto him one by one, each draining him of his chakra like a broken sieve.

With a startled yelp, the blond stumbled backwards, unable to relinquish the cards in his hand.

"What the hell?!"

"It appears that you will be worth observing boy." The golden man stated, turning his back on him. "Heed well the words of your king and pray that I do not grow bored of you."

With a snap of his fingers the Scroll of Sealing vanished from the face of the earth, sucked into a strange golden portal that hadn't existed prior. A pit of dread opened in Naruto's stomach as he watched his prize disappear into the vortex, even as the wild silver sparks continued to dance around him with great force and intensity. Oh, no. No, no, no! This wasn't happening! This couldn't possibly be happening! Without the Scroll of Sealing he had no way of passing the test! If he didn't return the Scroll...exile would be the least of his worries!

"Hey! Wait! I need that!"

"Not my problem, mongrel! Farewell!:

With a laugh, his body began to break down into a golden haze.

Before Naruto could shout for him to come back a bright light burst from the silver card in his hand, forcing him to avert his eyes lest he loose them. The wind picked up, a great and mighty gale stealing the breath away from his lungs. A terrible keening arose, threatening to sunder the very trees themselves. To destroy a forest that had stood for generations. Distantly over the din, Naruto thought he heard the great king laughing at his plight. In fact, he barely heard himself shout over it all.

"Damn! It's like the sun decided to come down and say hi!"

After a few seconds, Naruto felt the wind die down, and the light ceased.

Groaning, he put his arm down as he pushed himself upright, reluctantly opening his eyes.

His heart stopped.

In disbelief he looked outward.

In shock, he refused to avert his eyes.

And saw.

Saw.

"Holy shit...

Before the blond teenager stood a tall woman of peerless and unparalleled beauty; her hair a curtain of amethyst silk that cascaded down her back. A sleeveless, black low-cut mini-dress covered her torso while black and purple elbow gloves sheathed her arms, matching the thigh high boots adorned her legs. And her body...beyond compare. No words could do it justice. Even the Legendary Tsunade herself would be hard-pressed to match her in beauty alone. And her eyes! Naruto blinked as he realized he couldn't see her eyes, for they were concealed behind by a purple mask. Not so the crimson mark on her forehead.

Her stance was neutral as her body faced his.

Regarding him through her blindfold she spoke softly.

Something about her low, melancholy voice nearly broke his heart.

"I ask, are you my Master?"

A/N: Yeah, Naruto's just pulled out Medusa.

And the Scroll of Sealing is now firmly in Gilgamesh's possession.

Needless to say, Naruto's not going to get away scot free from this one.

And there we be! Majors props to Greyblueflames98 for helping out with the last bit. He and I have worked out an agreement of sorts; I help him write his story, and he helps me write mine. Ya really should give his story a look once you're done here.

In any case, we both worked really hard on this, so I'd love to hear what you all think.

Don't forget to review! Reviews feed my creative engine!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

(Previews!)

In disbelief, he gazed at his arm.

A series of red, intricate marks sheathed his limb.

"What the hell...?"

The Hound of Ulster clicked his tongue in mild exasperation.

"Oi, Master? The pink one's annoying. Can I kill her?"

Naruto barely looked up from his deck.

"Depends. How fast can she run?"

"Ha! Well said, kid!"

Sakura froze.

"What?!"

"Why did I summon a loli, oi?!"

Kuro tilted her head.

"Tch, what a rude master."

R&R~!

=D