A/N: Um...sorry for being super late again? But to my defense, I had tests after tests after tests...when will they end? T_T
"...So by typing this command here, the computer will calculate the combination of numbers that you need. Then you put this in the formula number...46, yeah, that super long one that begins with 'CAL', and you'll be able to have access to the codes for all the cameras in the building. Then you have to figure out which is which...hey, are you listening to me?" Matsu turned her head to look at he blond.
"Nngh, yeah..." Naruto grunted as he tried to focus on the screens. He wasn't really having much problem following what the redhead was saying, as he'd already brushed up on the basics by reading several books with the use of his amazing shadow clones. What he was having trouble with was the fact that the girl was sitting on his lap as she was teaching. That itself wouldn't have been much of a problem, if she weren't speaking at an insane speed, while he had to keep his concentration on the material as the girl grinded her ass into his private area.
Seriously, it was not something any healthy, straight male was able to do. And Naruto, despite his immense immunity towards the opposite sex, was unable to keep the blood from rushing to his head. And by head, he meant the one on the lower region.
And of course, Matsu, being the super pervert she was, was able to catch onto this.
"If you wanted to do other activities, all you had to do was ask Matsu~" She spoke in a sultry voice as she grinded her ass even harder, though she eventually fell into a fit of perverted giggles.
"You shouldn't come onto someone who's not your Ashikabi, you know." Naruto spoke in an admonishing tone as he not-so-subtly pushed her off his lap.
"Then can I do whatever I want if you become my Ashikabi?" She wasn't deterred by his pushing her away, and shoved her face right in front of his, staring at his lips like it was the most delicious thing in the world.
"Yeah...I mean, no! You can't make me your Ashikabi just because you want to kiss someone!" Naruto blocked mouth with his hands and pushed her head away, tearing his eyes off her alluring lips.
"Mm mm mmf mmhht mf mm mm!" The redhead muffled into his hand with ferocity.
Naruto ignored her and turned his head away from her, not even bothering to hear her out. He could already tell that it was something obscene or perverted.
Not the one to be stopped with a simple hand, Matsu licked the hand that blocked her.
Now usually, many people, including well-trained men, find the licking disgusting and jerk their hands away. However, Naruto was a shinobi, which meant 'dirty' or 'disgusting' barely meant anything to him. So he ignored it as he did to most of her advances.
Not minding the lack of reaction, Matsu continued licking, more sensually this time. She leaned into his hand and licked every nook and cranny of what area she was allowed. She began treating it as a kissing session with Naruto, and even went far as to grab his hand and sink his fore-arm into her breasts and groaned into his hand.
When he loosened his hand from the overloading pleasant sensation, Matsu quickly shrugged off his hand and pounced at his upper body, aiming her lips at his pursed ones. She nearly succeeded, but the blond was able to react in time and jerked out of the way at the last second. He then took advantage of her loss of balance and easily grabbed both her wrists behind her back.
"Didn't I just say that this was reckless and dangerous?!" He growled at her as he furrowed his brows. "Matsu..." He sighed and slightly loosened her wrists, and began speaking in a softer tone. "You really don't want to do things so rash that you'd come to regret in the future."
"No, but-" The redhead freed herself from his loose grip and turned to face the shinobi.
"Trust me. Getting winged by an ashikabi is no joke, you know. You'd be bound to him till death even if you despise the guy!" He turned his head away and continued in a dejected tone. "And you would miss the chance to meet the one that you actually react to...or even worse, the one that you truly love."
Matsu opened her mouth to rebut in a whining tone, but halted midway when she caught the bitterness in his tone. She was certain that he was projecting his loss onto her, which was why he was so adamant about not being so rash. But it kind of irked her that he blatantly dismissed the possibility for her to actually want the guy as her ashikabi. She held in the desire to pout, and gave the most loving gaze she could manage.
"Matsu isn't being frivolous in choosing Naru-tan as my ashikabi. Matsu actually considered all the probable routes and outcomes, and came to the logical conclusion that Naru-tan is the best candidate to have as my ashikabi. And even if Matsu's body doesn't react to Naru-tan, there seems to be nothing wrong with going along with what the heart desires, right? Matsu knows for a fact that Matsu won't ever regret this choice. I really want you to be by your side, now and forever.." She closed her eyes and leaned closer to his face.
Naruto hesitated even as the girl sincerely revealed her feelings. As a person who'd been constantly rejected since his childhood, and saw exactly what happened to sekirei who couldn't get winged by her beloved, he really didn't want those around him to feel the same despair he and she went through. And the pain he would feel when his own sekirei longed for another and loathed his decision to wing her would probably cripple him emotionally.
"Who cares about all that crap? Just make that female monkey yours and bang her to oblivion! It doesn't seem likely that she'd object."
'Not now, Kurama.' The blond forcefully cut off the mental connection before the fox gave him a headache.
The bijuu gained a tickmark on his forehead. Ever since they'd arrived in this timeline, the brat had been thinking - and brooding - too much. It pissed the nine hells out of him. Especially when it meant that he would not be able to feel anything good for the first time in a few centuries.
'Tch. He'd better thank me for this.' Kurama grunted and forcefully linked his mind to the blond's, and took the control over his body for a second. He was ashamed to say that even that took a lot out of him, but the consequences would hopefully be worth it all.
Matsu was pleasantly surprised when her chin was roughly pulled up and his tongue entered her mouth for domination. She fervently responded by tangling her tongue against his, as she'd seen in some romance mangas do. Too distracted by the new sensation, she never saw his eyes turn blood red.
When Naruto regained the control of his body, he was somewhat surprised to know that there were no stench of blood or any killing intent around him, which usually was the case when the kyuubi took over. He was shocked even further when he found himself lip locked with the beauty in front of him and his tongue so thoroughly exploring her mouth. He absent mindedly noted that she had the lingering taste of the apples they had after breakfast.
He then shook himself out of stupor and pulled out of the kiss, and couldn't help but think that he was forgetting something.
"Hey...I may not be too knowledgeable in the Sekirei mechanisms, but shouldn't wings sprout from your back when you're winged?"
The glaze in her eyes were instantly washed away at the realization that he was indeed correct and that she had failed to notice it in the spur of the moment. "Y-yeah. According to the database, the Sekirei should be enveloped in a blinding light from the wings that emerge."
The duo stayed silent, though neither pulled out of the intimate position they were in.
"...Huh, whaddaya know? I guess I'm not an ashikabi after all." He smiled grimly at such an unexpected turnabout. It was so ironic how that every time he made a decision after brooding over it for a long time, the decision was wrenched out of his hands without fail.
"How can you of all people not be an ashikabi?" She flung her hands above her head in annoyance.
'Well actually, I can think of a few reasons on the top of my head right this instant.' The blond mused.
'Time skipping and the sekirei blood injection.' He wasn't sure what exactly the blood did, but seeing that sekirei couldn't just wing each other, he guessed that it could be a reason for the non-wingable situation. Or maybe he just never had the requirements of ashikabi in the first place, whatever they were. He wasn't of this era, after all.
"Matsu thought that if anyone were to be an ahikabi, it definitely would have been Naru-tan…" She hung her head. "Ugh. That's so unfair! I've been waiting so long for this!"
Hearing the redhead speaking in a frustrated tone actually made Naruto sorry for rejecting her after charging her up with false hope, even if he hadn't meant to.
"Now I have to look for other ashikabi if I want to conduct experiment regarding the sekirei-ashikabi bond!" She sulked.
"..." Naruto's eyes twitched. Just what was with Sekirei women and making him want to take back the things he said?
Matsu bounced back from her temporary depression and spoke again without prompting.
"Well, although it won't have any experimental value, Matsu doesn't mind garnering up experience for these kind of things. So what do you say?"
"No." He declined without even giving it a thought.
"Eehhhhhh? But whyyy? You enjoyed it just now, didn't you?"
"...Yes, but I didn't mean for it to happen! Shouldn't you keep these kind of things special for your ashikabi?" He sighed, knowing that he, for one, wouldn't mind in the slightest. He really should stop blurting out all these 'righteous' things before thinking it through.
"It's only sexual intercourse, Naru-tan. Sometimes, you're so pure that it's cute! But you should know that not all ashikabi have good characters, and I may not even meet my destined ashikabi with the way I'm stuck here all the time. Not to mention…" She pursed her lips before finishing the sentence.
"Not to mention what?"
"Nothing, nothing." Her face flushed as she fervently waved her hands.
Naruto raised a brow the sudden halt she made in the midst of her vehement argument. It seemed as though she had as many internal problems as he did, as her actions were somewhat contradictory.
"Just think about it, ok?" She fiddled with her sleeves, looking at the floor.
The blond stared at her for a while, and finally answered, "Okay." She actually seemed sincere this time, and shy for some reason. Matsu, the woman who had been laughing at him because he said that sexual intercourse should be kept special, was acting shy. He really wanted to ask about the sudden change in attitude, but he refrained and left through the door, seeing that she was unlikely to tell him.
Matsu glanced upwards at the door when it closed behind the shinobi. "Damn it, Naru-kun, no matter how easygoing I seem, you really shouldn't force a girl to confess her feelings in such conditions…" She whispered under her breath. "Jeez, only if he used that brain of his to see how much I really like him…"
The place Naruto went to was none other than the backyard of the house. Its similarity to a training ground somewhat calmed him and allowed him to think. He plopped down on the ground and sighed.
"Is something the matter?"
Naruto turned and saw Miya walking towards him with a large pile of blankets on her arms.
"...No." He replied and stood up again. "Nothing's the matter."
The lavenderette neared the man and scrutinized him. "You've been doing something indescent again, haven't you." She frowned.
"Again? When have I ever?" He grinned tiredly. It was true for the most part, at least until Matsu came onto him, but she didn't need to know about that.
Miya wasn't quite sure if he was playing around again or being serious, but decided that it didn't matter either way, and gave him a deadpan stare. He would simply be the worst if he didn't know what kind of effects his actions had on the residents of the inn.
Actually, scratch that. It would be even worse if he knew what he was doing and abused it.
Naruto, on the other hand, seriously couldn't think of any instances he acted so indecent that it made Miya behave in such a manner towards him. So when her deadpanning gaze didn't leave him to show that she was being serious, it really confused him good.
Miya sighed deeply. "Never mind." She put the blankets on the wooden platforms near them and grabbed a small piece of paper from her obi. "Just take this and go shopping for food." She passed the note to him. It contained a long list of ingredients, half of which he didn't even know what they were.
"Is there a flower shop in the market?" He suddenly inquired after peering into the paper.
"No, of course not." The Sekirei furrowed her brows as she replied. "Why, is it some new ploy of yours to woo more women?"
"...You really aren't going to let it go, are you." He exhaled deeply with a bit of frustration mixed into it, though he couldn't really retort because of a happening with a certain redhead. "I was only asking because there was a flower written on the list."
She blinked. "I didn't write any flowers on the list."
"Sure you did!" He exclaimed as he thrusted the paper in front of her face and pointed at a certain word. "See? Cauliflower."
Looking at the blond who seemed so proud of himself for proving her wrong, Miya couldn't stop herself from breaking off her stern look and letting out a giggle into her hands.
The blond's puffed up chest deflated from the reaction he hadn't been expecting. "Why are you laughing? I didn't say anything funny." He crinkled his nose in part confusion and part annoyance.
Miya's giggling turned into a full blown laughter at that, which dismayed Naruto even more. "Ahahahaha! Cau-cauliflower isn't..hahaha...it isn't a flower, Naruto-kun!"
"Sure it is. See? Cauli-flower. It can't be anything but a flower."
"Oh, Naruto-kun..." she wiped a tear from her eye, "Take Uzume to the market with you and have her help you find the ingredients on the list. It seems like you'll need to take all the help you could get." She giggled again, her previous distaste completely forgotten at the sight of him unknowingly embarrassing himself. She absolutely couldn't wait to see his face when he returned from the short trip.
"...I know how to find my way through a market...I've been there plenty of times." He grumbled under his breath, loud enough for Miya to hear.
"Of course you do, dear." Her eyes drew a pleasant crescent shape as she covered her lips with her sleeve, which he supposed was hiding her smirk.
Naruto just grunted and turned away from her to look for Uzume.
"Why can't people just stay in their rooms? It would make my life so much easier if I didn't need to walk all over the place to find a person." The blond sighed.
"It's because people have things to do aside from staying cooped up in their rooms." A man walked towards him, amused.
"Gee, I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me." He sarcastically spat out.
"Woah, I wasn't making fun of you. No need to get mad." Kagari slightly raised his hands in a surrendering pose.
Naruto looked at him and sighed, raking his hair back with his hand. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Just a bit...irritated by the way the events are unraveling. I should just ditch her and go by myself."
"You're looking for Uzume, right?" When Naruto gave an affirmative nod, Kagari continued. "I think I saw her heading for the bathroom a while ago. She's probably still in there, actually. If it's urgent, you might want to wait in the living room."
"In the bathroom, you say?" A smirk found its way up his lips. Miya's constant nagging about his perverseness, which he never unleashed, had been bothering him greatly. If Miya wanted beastly urges, he would give her beastly urges to whine about. "Hey Kagari, you wanna see something good?"
The male Sekirei cocked his head at the sudden turn of the older man's mood. "Umm...I guess it depends on what it is. Is it something inappropriate?"
"Oh no. It's very appropriate for young men like us. Just stay right behind me, kay?" He was making the most evil laugh he could in his head. As a punishment for not being in her room, he'd give her the classic 'walking in on a bathing girl' prank. Her embarrassment would double with the presence of Kagari as well!
The duo walked along the hallway and towards the only bathroom in the inn.
"Uh, Naruto? We walked past the stairs..." The silver haired man bemusedly spoke, wondering if something was wrong.
"Yeah, but the thing I want to show you isn't downstairs." He stopped in front of a door and grabbed the sleeve of Kagari's shirt with one hand, while grabbing the sliding door with the other.
"The best way to form a bond between men is to take a bath together!" Naruto suddenly claimed in a loud voice as he opened the door and stepped in the bathroom.
"Wha-?" Before Kagari could make any response, he was already in the middle of the bathroom, courtesy of Naruto's hand still on his sleeve. But what the blond said as they entered wasn't of much importance, as a fully naked woman was in the tub right in front of him.
"Oh hey, Uzume. What impeccable timing you have. We were just about to harden our manly bonds over a bath. Wanna join us?" Naruto grinned in a way that would have put the Cheshire cat to shame.
The brunette stood up hastily and pointed her index finger at the shinobi. "You...you pervert! At least have the decency to turn around when a woman is naked!"
"S-sorry!" Kagari stammered as he quickly turned his back on the woman and tried to leave, only to find himself held back by Naruto's hand again.
"Now, now. Is that any way to treat people who invited you to a nice bath?" He lazily smiled. "And you're the one who's doing the flashing here. I'm only enjoying the things that are given to me. Ain't that right, Kagari?" The younger man didn't reply, simply wanting to escape from this uncomfortable situation.
Uzume hurriedly plopped down to her tub and crossed her arms over her breasts, as no towel was within her reach at the moment, and glared at the blond man.
"Oh, sorry. You wanted to see my naked body that badly? All you had to do was ask, and I would've complied without a complaint." Being trained as a ninja also meant that he was desensitized to the nudity of the opposite gender, as well as the exposure of his own. So if it meant that he could fluster others, he wouldn't even blink an eye as he took his pants off. With the exception of Matsu, of course. That girl was just...it was best not to stimulate her in any way.
Uzume's face turned beet red as his hands reached for the double-layered belt over his disciplinary squad uniform. "N-no! I don't want to see your d-dick!"
"Hmm? Then why is it that you're staring so intently at it?" He smirked. "Hey Kagari, she's staring at my junk, right?"
"Ye...no! I didn't see anything! Can I go now?" He tugged on his sleeve, though it didn't budge in the slightest.
"Yes! You should both get out right now, and let me take my bath in peace!" She cried.
"Tch. You both are so dull, I swear Miya's been rubbing off on you." He crinkled his nose but walked to the door, with Kagari in tow.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He turned to face the naked woman once more. "Miya told me to tell you that we have to go shopping for food in…one hour, or else she's gonna give us a spanking." He flippantly said. "Since I don't want that to happen, I'm gonna drag you out of the house in five minutes, whether you're fully dressed or not."
Uzume gaped at him. Kagari didn't even bother turning to face him now, opting to stare longingly at the door that was so close yet so far.
"You can't do that!" She shrieked.
"Well, if you don't believe me, then you can stay here all you want. It'll just mean that the neighborhood will get a nice little show." He smirked and raised his wrist to look at his nonexistent watch. "Anyway, I'll see you in five...no, four and a half minutes." He cackled as he opened the door, intent on preparing certain items just in case she failed to come out in time.
"Umm...can you let go of my sleeve now?"
Naruto turned to see the silver haired man pulling on his own sleeve to escape from his grasp. He had completely forgotten about him, as he had gotten used to subduing the constant struggle.
"Oops, sorry there." He let the poor boy go instantly. "Anyway, what did you think?"
Kagari scowled. "I thought that Miya was joking when she told you to keep in your beastly urges. Obviously, I was wrong."
"Woah, I'm no pervert! I was only messing with her! I mean, isn't it funny to see her face change from pure anger to embarrassment to horror?"
"…So you're a pervert and a sadist to boot…You're just as bad as Matsu." He backed away. "I'm…going to work. Bye!" He disappeared in an impressive speed, despite not having run.
"Aaaaand there goes my chance of making the only male friend in a den of females…" Naruto sulked. "Who knew he'd be such a sissy about it?"
"Yeah. He was even more of a dickless wimp than you, and that's saying something." Kurama snarked.
'Hey, don't bring my dick into this!' He indignantly protested.
"Hah. The only reason you didn't inherit the small girth from your father is because you kept feeding on my chakra like a leech. Now be grateful and go woo some women!"
'Why does it always go back to having sex for you?' He rolled his eyes. 'Wait...you know who my father is?'
"Do I...of course I know who that damnable swine is! That toad-shit fucking sealed me here!"
'Sealed...' He furrowed his brows in thought. "You mean the fourth hokage is my father?!" He shouted out loud, horrified by the revelation.
"Isn't the blinding blond hair and the dumb blue eyes a dead giveaway? And I thought he couldn't get dumber..." Kurama rolled his eyes.
Naruto didn't seem to hear the insult, as he was busy mumbling to himself. "The hokage...why...how..?"
The young man clicked his mouth shut and stayed silent for a minute, pondering what this meant for him. Then he suddenly broke out laughing hysterically. "Oh man, I can't believe that I thought of him as the noblest hero out there, when he was no better than Gaara's father!"
His laughter died out into pained chuckles. "Ahaha...does that mean I'm an unwanted child? Or did I kill my mother at birth like Gaara did? Is that why he hated me enough to stuff a frickin bijuu in my stomach?"
"Actually, your mother did die a few minutes after you were born." Kurama quipped, conveniently leaving out the fact that he was the one who shoved a claw through her abdomen. While he didn't quite despise the boy anymore, it was good fun to watch him writhe in agony. As long as he wasn't being too mopey or wimpy for a lengthy amount of time, it was nice to sit back and watch the once happy-go-lucky kid face the shitty reality of the world.
The blond grimaced and sighed, knowing that his dream of his parents loving him and watching over him shattered into pieces. But still, the yondaime was despicable for making his own baby a human sacrifice for reasons out of his control.
As he was silently raging, Uzume tumbled down the stairs, with her hair still dripping with water. "I...hah...am down...haah...in time...huff...right?" She collected her breath in front of the blond shinobi.
"Yondaime..." He muttered.
"...Huh?"
Naruto blinked. "...Nothing. Let's go, Uzume."
Surprised by his subdued tone, the brunette only nodded and left the house after him.
'Oy, fox. How come you didn't tell me anything if you knew this all along?' Naruto asked as he put his body on autopilot as he concentrated in conversing with the bijuu.
"Other than the fact that he was a shitty monkey that sealed me into you, I didn't think of it as anything of importance. Not to mention that speaking about that smug little shit pisses me off."
Naruto snorted. 'Ironic how a single monkey has bested you, eh?'
"Hah! You think he was the only one out there? He was barely able to subdue me after I annihilated hundreds of the humans that tried to scratch me." He boomed in annoyance. "And I'm not the one stuck in the shinigami's stomach, am I. In the end, I'm the one who gets the last laugh! Hahahaha!"
'...You done?' The blond asked, amused at the fox's futile attempts to protect his ego.
"...I still have a long list of things to say, but I'll leave it at that." He huffed.
'Of course you do.' He rolled his eyes, but didn't bother antagonizing Kurama any more than that.
'Hey, fox?' Barely a few seconds passed when he called upon the bijuu again. 'Was my fa...the fourth hokage really kind like the stories say?'
Kurama stirred and growled lowly at the unwanted continuation of the conversation. "Does it look like I was buddy buddy with him, ya monkey? If I could, I'd rip his face off just for the sake of it. Then scrunch up his puny body and maul it until it's no longer recognizable. And then I'd gnash his corpse away and spit it back out."
'...So was he kind?' He asked again.
The beast groaned as he resisted the urge to palm his face. "No, he was a psychotic human that ate kids for breakfast and had orgasms at the sight of pitifully dying humans." He sarcastically spat out. "Does it look like I care? Why the hell don't you ask someone who actually knew him for more than an hour, and doesn't hate his fucking guts?"
'Well, they're all dead, as far as I know. You're probably the only one left that even knows of his existence.' He said, a bit dejectedly. 'Is it so wrong to want to know why he did...this to me?'
"Pfft. As if I give a damn. Bang a few girls and make me happy, and maybe I'll think about the possibility of sharing some information with you. But before then, don't even bother even asking anything related to that filthy monkey or his mate."
On the contrary to what Uzume had thought, their short trip was completely void of pranks or scathing remarks. He was so completely out of it that she couldn't help but glance his way and wonder what had happened to the man in the five minutes she was away.
He even walked past the market that she had to hold onto his sleeve and drag him through the entire shopping process after she snatched the shopping list from him.
His unresponsive state made her work twice as hard as when she came shopping alone, making her wonder if this was a whole new prank he came up with to bother her.
"Can you at least take the load off me?" She huffed, irritated that she had to do so much work because of him.
"…" The shinobi continued staring blankly at the space in front of him.
The brunette stopped in her tracks and pulled the man to a halt as well. Then she proceeded to slide all the plastic bags on her arms onto Naruto's wrists. She smirked when he didn't protest in the slightest, though it also looked like he still seemed to be out of it. Shrugging, she decided that it didn't really matter and pushed him to start moving again.
The duo didn't get too far until a group of thugs blocked their way.
"Hey babe, why don't ya ditch the wimpy guy and come with us?" Thug1 smiled in a greasy way that he thought was charming.
"We can treat you reeeal nice~" Thug2 licked his lips as he approached the duo.
Uzume scrunched her face up in disgust. "Buzz off, losers. I've got a dinner to go to."
"C'mon, girly. Come over before I get real mad." Thug1 frowned.
The brunette rolled her eyes. As if such a pitiful being could threaten her. "If you want, just take the blond guy. Just leave me alone." She pushed Naruto forward.
"Stop joking with us, girl. As if we would have need for a male." Thug1 scowled.
"If you don't want to get hurt, follow us quietly." Thug2 took out a kitchen knife and brandished it in a threatening manner.
"Yeah, yeah. Do whatever you want. I'm going home." She brushed them off and leisurely walked past the two thugs.
"Why that little bitch...!" Thug1 growled and swung his knife at her back, which she nimbly sidestepped without even looking back. After taking a second to reel back from the shock, Thug1 scowled and attempted to slash her again. But with trained ease, Uzume cartwheeled away, leaving the man to fume in his failure.
"Don't just stand there! Get her!" Thug1 screamed at Thug2.
Thug2 grunted in acknowledgement as he flipped his knife into a reverse grip and ran towards the girl, only to be hit by a solid roundhouse kick on the face. He staggered back and cursed. "Fucking bitch! I'm gonna fuckin kill you!" Thug2 pulled out another knife and dashed at her once again.
Uzume jumped high up into the air and stepped on Thug2's head and lightly landed on the floor. She then exaggeratedly yawned. "If that's all you wimps got, I'm going back home. You're seriously not even worth a warm up." She turned and began walking towards the inn.
"Aaaarrgghhh!" Thug1 screamed and sprinted in her direction with his knife held up high. Thinking it to be another frontal attack, Uzume kept walking and waited until the last second to do a turning kick aimed at his shoulder. But instead of the body that should have been in front of her, the knife he'd been holding flew at her back, now only two inches in front of her stretched foot.
Before she was able to react, or even grit her teeth to endure the incoming pain, the flying knife shattered with a loud clang. Bewildered, all three heads followed the source of the sudden attack, and found a blond standing there with multiple grocery bags on his arms.
"Ummm...could someone tell me why my tanto is all the way there?" Naruto blinked, confusion clearly written on his face.
The trio of people sweat dropped.
"You threw it. How else would it het there?" Uzume rolled her eyes, though she was silently relieved that she didn't have to spend weeks not being able to walk properly.
"I know that. I was asking why I threw it." He sighed exasperatedly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"How the hell am I supposed to know that, you idiotic blond?! You were unresponsive the entire way here! Do you know how tiring it was to drag you around all over the place?"
"You're getting off topic! And you should be honored to have the privilege of escorting someone like me for such a long time!" Naruto shouted back.
The two thugs watched the random shouting match with a bit of irritation of being completely pushed to the sidelines.
"Dude, should we scram while those two aren't looking at us?" Thug1 whispered.
"Like bitches running away with tails between their legs? As if I'd do such a thing. I'm getting that bitch for kicking my face." Thug2 growled.
Thug1 groaned, knowing that they were completely outclassed - the blond guy even had a weapon! Companion or not, he was getting the hell outta there.
"Shouldn't you be thanking me for saving your life?" Naruto shouted a few steps away from the two thugs.
"My life? Puh-lease, I was doing just fine without you this whole time." She snorted. "You make a lucky shot with your little knife and you suddenly want a thank you from me?"
Thug2 held out both his knives and stepped into the view of the fighting duo with a perfect scowl on his face, but neither seemed to notice.
"It's called a tanto, and it's so much better than knives! Those things aren't even proper weapons! And you know as well as I do that I saved you from a world of pain!"
"You mean like how you successfully aided me in shopping for food? I'm sorry, but that's called taking care of things with my own hands!"
"Stop ignoring me!" Thug2 roared and ran at the duo, intent on stabbing the brunette in the abdomen.
Naruto didn't even spare a glance at him. "I wasn't aiding you. I was merely accompanying you. It's what I like to call 'push all your work to the girl that likes flashing people'."
Uzume growled as she punched the incoming thug on the nose. "So it was intentional. You sly bastard."
"I'm sorry, but do you know the proper definition of 'bastard'? Because I don't quite fit in that category." He kicked the thug when he was getting back up with a hand covering his bloody nose, causing him to fly back a few feet. "Bastard, by definition, means a person born out of wedlock. My parents were happily married when they conceived me, you see."
Or so he assumed, anyways. But he didn't need to mention his uncertainty nor the fact that he was given away as a sacrifice to the village only a few minutes after he was born. He let a bit of bitterness seep out to his smile before he quickly replaced it with a cocky smirk.
Uzume's eye twitched in annoyance as she held back all the derogatory things she wanted to say. He would somehow find a way to turn all those things back at her, just as easily as he weaved around her physical attacks.
"Aww, you're not speaking anymore? Too dazzled by my intelligence?" He sniggered.
The brunette gagged to show her disgust. "I'm going home, so stop bothering me." She turned her head and ran down the street.
Naruto considered chasing after her just for the sake of it, but decided against it. He probably annoyed her enough for one day; it was pretty fun, but he knew better than to go overboard. Even if it was to serve as a distraction from his turbulent thoughts.
"Damn...Now I'm all alone again..." His grin slid off his face as he sighed. Then he roughly shook his head to clear himself of any thoughts and began walking back towards the inn, keeping his face blank throughout the entire trip.
"Yo, I'm back."
Miya glanced in his direction before she returned to chopping something. "You sure took your sweet time. I would have gotten mad if you'd been a minute later."
"Good thing I'm here now, then." He flashed a lopsided grin at her.
"Just leave the bag by the counter and get going."
The blond dropped the bags on the floor, but didn't move from his spot. Instead, he stared intently at the cooking woman with a constipated look on his face.
Miya ignored the uncomfortable feeling of her senses going haywire at his stare, before she finally gave in and turned her heels to face the culprit.
"Why, exactly, are you boring holes in the back of my head? If it was my behind you were ogling, I would have had free reign to bash your skull into the floor, but you're not even doing that. . ?" She growled, punctuating each word as she spoke.
"Well, I've been thinking..." He drawled to get himself a few precious seconds to think how he was going to phrase this. "You've been loved, right?"
She raised her eyebrow at the random question, but decided to humor him. "Of course that goes without saying."
"And you loved, too, right?"
She wiped her hands on her apron as she spoke again. "I wouldn't have married...him, if I didn't love him, would I." She deadpanned. "What are you getting at?"
Naruto squirmed uncomfortably before finally speaking his mind. "Umm...hypothetically speaking, if you had a child with him, and he somehow died because something went wrong during the birthing progress, would you hate your child? Enough to disown him and make him suffer in the cruel world by himself?"
"...What?"
"Just a hypothetical question! I was just...curious."
Miya stared at him skeptically. "You didn't impregnate anyone, did you?"
He gaped. "No! Of course not! And I don't plan on doing so in the near future! Just answer the damn question!"
"Hm...I wouldn't know how giving birth could kill a man, but I wouldn't hate a baby for it. Instead, I would probably shower him or her with enough love to compensate for the lack of a father." She blushed at the thought of having a child to spoil, though it soon disappeared when she remembered that Naruto was in front of her.
To her surprise, he didn't have a teasing smile on his face, or even just a warm smile. Instead, he seemed somewhat somber and contemplative.
"Yeah...that's what I thought, too." He whispered under his breath.
"Why are you asking me this?"
"Nothing important. Just wanted to confirm something." He muttered just loud enough for her to hear. "See ya at dinner."
"Naruto-kun!" She stopped him short with a somewhat desperate shout, though she didn't understand where such an emotion came from. "Are you...alright?"
The blond slowly raised the tips of his lips and formed a lazy grin on his face. "Course I am. I'm the amazing Uzumaki Naruto, aren't I? No need to worry your pretty little ass, Miya-chan."
"Would you like to repeat that?" She smiled menacingly with a rather large knife on her hand.
"I'll see you at dinner." He quickly left the kitchen and headed straight for the second floor.
A while ago, he'd read that close contact with the opposite gender could soothe a person's tormented mind. He needed soothing, and Matsu always offered her body to him. It was a perfect, foolproof solution.
Naruto pushed open the hidden door, and was about to call out to the redhead, when he heard moans coming from deep inside the room.
The many screens that usually lit up the room were now turned off, save for one specific screen on the bottom, which was playing a rather...fleshy video. And of course, in front of it, was a girl fingering herself.
"Ahem." Naruto cleared his throat, taking care to keep some distance from the woman.
Her body froze completely for a second, before she stiffly turned her head to meet the blond's eyes. Then she awkwardly smiled as she pulled out her finger as discreetly as possible - and failed, this was a shinobi she was dealing with - and hid the said sticky finger behind her back.
I...ummm...I didn't think you'd come to see me so quickly…" The redhead mumbled with a blush on her cheeks.
"Obviously." Naruto snorted. At least she seemed to know that this was an embarrassing situation. He was really beginning to think that she had no modesty at all, with the way she always threw herself onto him.
"You know, you completely outdid yourself and ruined the angsty mood I set up for myself." He chuckled weakly. "I was thinking of taking advantage of your offer and occupy my mind by participating in carnal activities, but you threw that out of the window."
Matsu blinked multiple times as she tried to make sense of the situation - and failed. "What?"
"Mm. Nothing you need to concern yourself with. You shocked me enough for me to clear my head. It was stupid of me to even think of taking advantage of women in such a selfish manner, even if the recipient was you." He crossed his arms and nodded sagely to himself.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
Naruto cracked an eye open and looked down at her form. "It means that I no longer need comfort sex. All thanks to you."
"Wha...WHAT?! You're going to accept my proposal?"
"Were. You helped me see the light of things. You really are a good person, even if you don't intend to be one." He crinkled his eyes to form a smile.
"No! You weren't wrong! You have much trouble on your mind and you need my help to get better!" She scrambled up to him and insisted.
"Matsu…" The blond sighed. "The mood's gone. Better luck next time."
"But...but..."
"See ya." He left without even looking back.
"Haah..." Matsu slid down to the floor and hit her forehead with her palm repetitively. "Baka." Slap. "Baka." Slap. "How could I waste such a chance...Damn porn." Slap.
"I should get rid of this all. This isn't worth missing out on sex with Naru-tan." The redhead crawled to her main computer and typed several codes to direct her to her 200-terabyte porn video folder.
"All I need to do is press enter..." Her finger hovered over the keyboard, shaking. "I can do this...I can do this..."
She slumped and banged her head on the keyboard. "Who am I kidding. I can't do this. I've been adding onto this baby since I first came here. I even have several super ultra rare clips that's been erased five minutes after it was released! Even I can't find these babies easily."
The room stayed silent for a few seconds.
"It's not like Naru-kun will change his mind if I delete everything. And I need to satisfy myself until he agrees to relieve me. This is perfectly logical, and I'm making the right choice." She nodded to herself.
The door suddenly opened again. "Oi Matsu! Miya's asking if you'll be skipping dinner again."
"Gaahh!" Matsu jumped a bit from her seat and turned to face the intruder. "What...are you doing here, Naru-tan?" She fumbled with her hands behind her back as she searched for the power off button. She failed to, for some bizarre reason.
Naruto tilted his head in confusion. "I just told you. Miya's asking if you'll be having dinner."
"Umm...yes. Yes, I'll be having dinner. So please go tell Miya that." She nervously smiled.
"You okay? You look somewhat pale." Naruto approached her to take a closer look of her face.
The redhead inched back a little, trying to hide the screen from the man's view. She really didn't want him to see her abnormally large folder. He wouldn't live it down for ages. That, she was sure of.
Naruto yanked her hand forward and squeezed it. "Matsu! Your hand is cold! You're obviously not okay." He frowned. "We're going down to Miya and ask what's wrong with you. Now."
Matsu yanked her hand back from his grasp and vigorously shook her head. As soon as she left her spot, Naruto would be able to see the screen. She would not allow that. Just...no.
"I'm perfectly fine. I'll just regain my warmth from my keyboard, like this." She dropped her hand on the keyboard just to prove it to him.
"Well...if you insist." Naruto conceded and backed away, before pausing once again. "Hey, Matsu?"
"Hm?"
"Something seems to be wrong with your computer..."
"Ahaha...you must be seeing things. My computer is perfectly fine."
"Noo, I'm pretty sure that something's wrong. It has big red letters saying 'deleted'."
Matsu was about to wave him away when she finally realized what he was saying, and whipped around to look at her screen. And as though it were taunting her for being wrong, the big letters flashed some more before disappearing.
"No..." She stared at the screen. "NOOOOOOOOOO! My porn! My precious!" She collapsed onto her knees and felt tears welling up in her tear ducts. "Mommy's sorry. Please come back..." She sobbed as she tried reviving the contents with all the combinations of codes she thought was related to this case. But alas, the command she had inputted did too good of a job in terminating the files, and was unable to be reversed.
Damn her and her awesomeness that gets everything done perfectly.
Back to Naruto, when it became quite obvious that she would be incapable of recovering from her sorrow any time soon, he just quietly left the room.
Then he cackled. Loudly.
Mission complete: Delete Matsu's secret porn stash
Rewards: Icha Icha Tactics
Exp Gained: 300 exp
"Hah? The mystery reward is the Icha Icha? How pointless..." He sighed. "Oh well, I'll just have to hold onto it until I can use it as a bribe material for a pervert or something."
A/N: Yeah, not really the best chapter, but I promise it'll get better. Starting from the next chapter will be the start of the main story line - hopefully no more filler arcs for a while.
And about Naruto not being an Ashikabi...do you people really think I'll let him stay that way? Puh-lease. That practically takes away half the point of the whole Sekirei thing, so I'm not going to be that mean. He'll have to earn it, though.
My usual goal for a chapter is approximately 10k, but I've sorta hit a block (the lack of free time wasn't being helpful, either), and I was only able to write a little under 7k. So in compensation, I whipped up an Omake that's been floating around in my head for a while. Hope you enjoy it?
Omake:
"Wake up, Naruto-kun!" Someone shook him awake.
"Nngh..." He wearily opened his eyes to see a nice pair of boobs in front of his face. That in itself wouldn't have been an anomaly, but the size of those breasts were somewhat unfamiliar, a bit smaller than the usual ones he saw close up. He fully opened his eyes and moved up his gaze to look at the woman's face.
"...!" His dreariness vanished in an instant. "Wha...what are you doing on my bed, Miya?!"
"I was calling you to breakfast for quite a while now, but you never came down." She smiled softly and slid off his bed. "Seeing you sleep in is quite a novelty, but shouldn't you be getting ready?"
Before he could properly form an answer, a transparent screen appeared in front of him.
1) "I'll get up if you let me feel you up."
2) Squeeze her boobs.
Naruto rubbed his eyes to see if he was hallucinating, but the choices stayed unchanged. 'Is the game system malfunctioning…?'
He ignored the screen and tried to smile and tell her that he'd be down in just a moment. But then his body got completely paralyzed, making him unable to move a muscle. 'What's...happening? Did someone...poison me?' He glanced back at the woman standing by his bed, and saw that she was patiently waiting for him to give his reply.
'Kurama! What's happening?' He inwardly shouted to his tenant. But instead of the booming voice that he had gotten used to in the past few years, only silence greeted him. He tried calling a few more times, and even went as far as to enter his mindscape, but found that he was unable to do so.
Panicking, Naruto shot his chakra throughout his entire body, and found his every tenketsu point shocked with something akin to electricity. He wanted to scream or lurch his body, but his body remained unmoving.
A female metalic voice ringed in his head. *Please make a choice*
1) "I'll get up if you let me feel you up."
2) Squeeze her boobs.
The blond knew that he would end up half dead either way, so he decided to choose the second one. Avoiding Miya's wrath wasn't the priority at the moment. Her boobs...err...his need to find out about this peculiar situation demanded him to choose it.
When he decided on the number, his body was no longer paralyzed, but his hands went straight to Miya's breasts without his prompting to do so.
Caught completely off guard, Miya couldn't react to this for two seconds. Two seconds which Naruto's hands thoroughly fondled her breasts.
When her brain finally caught up with what was happening, Miya grabbed both his hands with her left hand with enough power to crush a normal person's wrists into pieces. Her face had a smile which was nearly spasming out of control and her pupils were no longer humans. It was almost scarier than kyuubi when Naruto first met him.
"I should just cut of those fucking hands of yours so you wouldn't be able to do anything like this again." She slid out her katana and eyed his wrists.
Not finding a hint of hesitation or lie in her statement, Naruto felt the need to escape and hide from the woman for at least a week. She probably wouldn't stop from cutting his hands off, but would most likely castrate him as well. There was no way in hell he was going to allow such thing to happen before he was able to use his junk...or ever, actually.
He quickly flooded the room with seal-less clones, freed his hands from her grip, and ran the hell out of his room.
"So that was what boobs feel like..." He stared at his palms. "No wonder ero-sennin loved them so much." He walked down the road in a dazed state. "Err...I mean, I'd better avoid her for a while. Who knows when this thing would act up on her again?"
He shook his head and walked into the streets he'd gotten familiar with in the last few years.
"Uzumaki-san! What a coincidence to meet you here." A silver haired woman greeted him with a formal smile.
"Takami? What are you doing in this district?"
"Nothing much. I just needed to visit a friend that lives around here." She replied in a clipped tone.
Suddenly, another transparent screen came up in front of him.
1) Ask her out for a lunch at the ramen stand
2) "Please have my children!"
"Ngh!" His body froze once again. But this one was seriously a no-brainer. There was no way in hell he was saying that to Takami. And he already knew that she had children, so it probably meant that she was married. Not that he would hit on her if she weren't.
Now that he made the decision, his mouth moved on its own.
"Hey, Takami. If you didn't have lunch yet, can I take you to a very good ramen stand?"
"Huh? Well, I didn't have any, but why the sudden invitation?"
"Mm. I dunno. Courtesy, maybe?" He tilted his head.
"I see…well, lead the way, then." She gestured for him to move.
"Hai, hai." He snickered and walked in a comfortable silence. For some reason, the walk to the ramen stand took much shorter than it usually would take. But he didn't consider it too important and passed it off as a weird quirk of the game.
"Yo, Zana-chan! Two miso for me!" He ordered as he entered the stall.
"Ah, welcome back, Naruto-kun. Two miso coming up straight away!" She replied in a chirpy tone.
The black haired woman entered quickly behind him. "So you come here often?"
"Yup! I make sure to come here at least three times a week, as long as I'm not caught up in something." He smiled as he offered her a stool next to him.
"I see…I'll take the seafood one, then."
"Zana-chan! One seafood please!"
…
"Here you go, two miso and one seafood." The waitress laid down the bowls in front of Naruto.
"Ah, this one's for Takami here." Naruto sheepishly spoke and passed the bowl to the woman sitting next to him.
"Hm? Who's this lady friend you have here?"
The blond was about to answer that she was a colleague of his, when a screen popped up once again.
1) "She's my beautiful waifu~!"
2) "She's the woman that's going to bare my children!"
3) Shove your head in the ramen bowl and intake half of it with your nose
'WTF?!' He cried out in his mind as his body was fully paralyzed again. 'A third choice came up, but it doesn't seem any better than the other two!'
Just like the previous choices, all of them made him look like a crazy fool or a super pervert, neither of which he was. Still, since he was forced to choose, there was one choice with the least repercussion…
He mentally made the decision.
"She's my beautiful waifu~" His hands clasped together in front of his chest and his eyes were sparkling. To make things worse, he was gushing over her like Kazehana gushed over her sake, Matsu over her porn, and fangirls over Sasuke. Basically put, it was utterly humiliating.
Zana's jaw dropped, and Takami's tightened.
Naruto quickly shook off the dopey look on his face and put on his winning smile.
"Just joking! I'm still free 'n single!" He chuckled. "Did I scare ya?"
"Well, um, yes." Zana exclaimed. "That was mean of you, Naruto-kun."
"I…need to go punch something, so I'm afraid I can't finish the lunch, Uzumaki-san." And like that, Takami left. His actions reminded her too much of that bastard Minaka, which in turn reminded her how much work he dumped onto her just for his entertainment. She grated her teeth as she headed back to the MBI building to meet her boss, and hopefully push him off the building. It would save so much trouble in the future.
"Umm…was my joke that bad?" Naruto timidly asked Zana after he watched Takami's form leaving the stall.
"I don't think so?" She also seemed a bit confused, but got back to minding the noodles she was cooking. "Maybe it was a sensitive subject for her?"
The blond sighed.
He really must have annoyed some deity up there, or they just found immense amusement in his life and decided to make it their toy.
No matter how many times he trumped the so-called fate in important moments, at times like this, he really was the fate's chew toy.
On the Next Chapter:
"Naruto-kun! It's good to see you again after all this time!"
"Hmph. Too bad I can't say the same for you." Naruto snorted. "So what do you want from me?"
"Going straight to the point, I see. I'll cut the dilly-dally, then." The man grinned as he adjusted the angles of his glasses. "I am in need of your assistance - a favor, if you will."
"Yeah, about that...no."