![]() Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, Anime X-overs, Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. I'm an awful writer and a worse procrastinator OBITUARY: THE SAD PASSING OF COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teenagers suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they had themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer paracetamol, sun lotion or plaster to a pupil, but could not inform the parents when a pupil became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, but the burglar could sue you for assault because you protected yourself and your own. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized that he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. These Quotes Will Make You Laugh "The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time." -President Abraham Lincoln "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day" -A. A. Milne “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” -Albert Einstein “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” -Andy Borowitz “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” -Bill Watterson “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.” -Clarence Darrow “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” -Don Marquis “If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.” -Hillary Clinton “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” -Joan Collins “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” -Katharine Hepburn “My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.” -Mike Myers “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” -Stephen Colbert “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” -Theodore Roosevelt “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -Winston Churchill Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile You know you live in 2008 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile A 15-year-old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be overweight. People call an old man ugly. No one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. People call a boy a crybaby. No one knows his mom is dying. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." If you believe in God and aren't afraid to admit it then repost this on your profile Bold everything that is stereotyped about you: I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be bolemic. I'm Fat, so I MUST eat everything I'm SHORT, so I MUST pick fights with people I'm TALL, so I must be a robber I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart, and NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world. I'm a BELIEVER so I MUST hate nonbelievers I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST be "evil" and not have any morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST be an idiot. I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL so I MUST be a steal-your-money kind of girlfriend I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big PENIS. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BiG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot. I'm ASIAN so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a girl who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals and atheist. I'm MIXED so i must be SEXY I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be covered up at all times. I'm in ORCHESTRA/BAND, so i MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm BLACK and have white friends so I MUST think I'm white I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. |