It has come to my attention that coffee does in fact cost money...so if you wish to help me keep my addiction going strong you can buy me coffee here: /sanguinetenshi (in case the link isn't there like a good boy Ko-fi. com/sanguinetenshi)

If anyone has a problem with my ships: here is my response.

Relationship status:

( ) single

( ) in a relationship

( ) married

( ) engaged

( ) divorced

(X) waiting for a miracle

Stories:

Weekend with humanity:
http: //ajb66613. tumblr. com/post/138099012774/harkaway-exigetspersonal-dancinggrimm
Russian translation: https: //ficbook. net/readfic/ 5986896

That one time I met a hobbit:
http:// destinyblue. deviantart. com/art/TOXIC-444895229 (if the link isn't there just google 'TOXIC by DestinyBlue' and give the artist some love)

The nicest angel you have:
Angsty what if: fic (if the link don't work it's 'Let's Waltz' by exaigon)

Lioness:
https:// www. deviantart. com/elia-illustration/art/Cersei-Lannister-264780058
Inspiration: https:// archiveofourown. org/works/13285773

Personal musings and the like:

Pineapples:

It is a weird name okay? In most languages they are called ananas or something similar. Was the first English (wo)man to see the pineapple like: "Hmm, what a weird fruit. It looks kind of like a pinecone but it is a fruit. How should I name it? Something to do with pinecones and fruit. Pinefruit? No, too obvious. Pinepear? Nah. Pearcone? No. Fruitcone? Nah, that sounds like ice-cream. Maybe a different fruit. An apple? Pineapple? Yes! That sounds amazing. I shall name this fruit PINEAPPLE." "Steven the locals call it ananas and I heard a few people speak about this ananas before so why not just name it ananas? We can spell it like annanas or something so it doesn't seem like we are copying them." "Silence, Bob. Your common mind can not comprehend the potential that the name pineapple has. We shall not be like the common folk below us and call this fruit ananas for it is pineapple as it looks like a pinecone yet is a fruit." And so the fruit was named pineapple. It could have happened like that you don't Know.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

Story of feelings

Once upon a time, all human feelings and all human qualities met up in a hidden place somewhere on Earth.

When Boredom yawned for the third time Craziness, always so crazy, proposed:

"Let’s play hide and seek. Who hides the best is the winner among feelings!”

Intrigue rose her right eyebrow, and Curiosity, not being able to hold her tongue, asked:

“Hide and seek? What kind of a game is that?”

“It is a game,” started explaining Craziness, “in which I cover my eyes and count to million, while all of you hide.

When I finish counting, I go in a search, and who I find the last is the winner.”

Enthusiasm started dancing, followed by Spirit.

Happiness was jumping so much she persuaded Suspicion and Apathy to play, who were never interested in anything.

But not everyone wanted to play.

Truth was against hiding, why should she hide anyway?

Everyone, in the end, always finds her.

Pride thought it was a stupid idea, although in reality it was bothering him he wasn’t the one to suggest the game.

Caution didn’t want to risk it.

“One, two, three….” started counting Craziness.

First to hide was Laziness who, as always, just threw herself behind the first rock.

Faith climbed to the sky,

Envy hid in Success’s shadow who climbed, with a lot of trouble, to the top of the highest tree.

Generosity just couldn’t decide where to hide because every place seemed perfect for one of her friends.

Beauty jumped in the crystal clear lake,

while Shyness continued to peek from a crack in a tree.

Elegance found her place in the flight of a butterfly,

and Freedom in winds breath.

Selfishness found a hideout, but only for herself!

Lie hid at the end of the rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean),

Lust and Passion hid in a volcano.

Forgetfulness forgot to hide, but that is not important.

When Craziness counted 999 999,

Love still hadn’t found a hideout because everything was already taken.

She saw a rose garden, jumped in it, and cowered herself in beautiful buds.

“Million,” finished Craziness and started her search.

First she found Laziness behind the nearest rock.

Soon she heard Faith discussing theology with God,

while Lust and Passion jumped from the volcano from fear.

By chance there was Envy here, and of course Success,

she didn’t even have to find Selfishness.

She ran out of her perfect hideout on her own which proved to be a beehive.

From so much searching Craziness got thirsty,

and so she found Beauty in the crystal clear lake.

With Suspicion she had no problem because she couldn’t decide on a hideout so she just continued to sit on a nearby rock.

And so Craziness, little by little, found almost everyone.

Talent was in the golden wheat,

Anxiety was in the burnt grass,

Lie was at the end of a rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean),

and Forgetfulness forgot they were even playing.

Only Love was nowhere to be found.

She looked in every bush and on top of every mountain and when she was already infuriated she saw the rose garden.

She went among the roses, took a dry branch and, furious and infirm, started hitting over the beautiful rose buds.

Suddenly there was a painful cry.

Rose thorns scratched Love’s eyes.

Craziness didn’t know what to do.

She found Victory, feeling above feelings, but Love was blind.

She cried and begged Love for forgiveness

and in the end she decided to stay with Love forever and help her.

And so Love become the winner among feelings, but was left blind

and Craziness became her faithful companion.