THANK YOU SOOO MUCH to all my betas; Fanfic gyrl and Dianemalfoy

They are so amazing and do such a wonderful job with corrections.

06/08/2020

This is an apology. Not an excuse or avoidance.

Some of my best work has sat stagnant. Unopened, edited, or updated for a long while now.

For the past 14 years I have suffered from depression. Though I didn't know what it was that made me feel as if I was moving through quicksand for several years. I can trace the depression back to heart break. Me and my grandmother weren't just close we were the best of friends. Just thinking of her too much can still send me to my knees with tears running down my face. I know that losing her was like a wound to my very soul. Now there are many days where just leaving the house is an accomplishment. I end up getting out of bed some mornings only because peeing the bed would take more work to clean up.

Though I have family and friends who I know love me it doesn't help. my mother is a wonderful woman but she has expectations of me. She wants me to be cheerful and energetic. To be at her side whenever she's home. But just being near others is grating at times as if their aura is raking away at mine, sucking the very life out of me. Getting through work is a slow chore that I only force myself to endure because I'm too stubborn to be homeless.

This struggle is why I haven't updated. I don't have the energy, or the emotional ability to write the way I know I can. So I don't start at all. Lately I have had an uptick in my emotional energy so hopefully I will be able to get back into writing.

Thank you to all the reads, fans and followers that have sent me love.