Uchiha Kyōya

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001

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Uchiha Itachi is two years old when he is presented with the reason he will become strong.

True, another will come along in three years, pushing him to even greater heights, but this one came first.

Sitting beside his sweaty, tired mother -he's never seen her so unrefined, and for a moment Itachi worries- his attention is caught by the squirming bundle in her arms.

A soft, pink pudge thing looks up at him with startlingly light grey eyes- no, more silver.

Itachi stares right back at the little baby, admiring the feather soft hair that tops his head, the pouty lips that press together and part without any thought.

"Itachi, meet Kyōya, your little brother," His father states firmly, though there's a proud tiny smile on his face as he looks down at the little boy.

Itachi leans forwards, and a pudgy hand catches onto one of his reaching fingers, and in that moment Itachi knows complete devotion.

His little brother might be strange, but Itachi will love him forever.

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The first word he ever speaks is 'Nii-san,' and Itachi's heart clenches something fierce in his chest, honoured to be graced with his little brother's first word as they sit up to table for breakfast.

Both his parents startle, but Kyōya's heavy silver eyes are focuses completely on him.

"I am Nii-san," Itachi agrees, watching as Kyōya nods, still looking at him.

"Nii-san," the nine month old agrees, before his gaze swings around to look at their father, "'Bivore."

It takes him a moment to realise that Kyōya is attempting to pronounce 'herbivore' -were he any other child he'd probably not know what that means, but Itachi is a genius- and Itachi smiles despite his father's new title. Or even maybe because of it.

His little brother is so smart, already crawling and walking and talking.

He ignores the disgruntled expression on his father's face and instead offers Kyōya a slice of banana that the boy eats mulishly, eyes still locked on the bacon that sits on their father's plate.

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Itachi never finds it weird that Kyōya refuses to acknowledge their father as his Tou-san.

It's just an adorable character trait.

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When months later the label 'herbivore' is attached to almost every person they come across, Itachi wears his title of 'omnivore' with pride. The only person to ever be labelled with 'carnivore' -aside from Kyōya himself- is Uzumaki Kushina.

The woman herself is ecstatic; their father doesn't look happy though.

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Kyōya's first sentence is, well...

"I'll bite you to death."

It startled all three of them, Itachi's eyes particularly wide as he looks down at his adorable little brother, who pauses in his staring match with their father to look to him.

He pats Itachi's knee, a pleased smile as he says, "not you."

The way he looks back at their father makes it abundantly clear who he's referring to.

Their mother giggles and their father's lips press firmly together, head tilting to a side as a building block goes whizzing past. Now their father looks down at Kyōya, who seems quite perturbed at his miss, given how on target the block was when he threw it.

"If you want to hit a ninja, then you'll have to train a bit harder, Kyō-chan."

Scowling at the nickname, Kyōya looks up to their mother and demands an explanation for- "ninja?"

"Ninja are the warriors of Leaf, they protect our village and all the live within it."

"Protect.. Leaf?"

"And the clan," their father hastily underlines, but Itachi can tell it's too late, that his little brother is no longer listening, just sitting and thinking with that pleased grin on his face.

It's made obvious when Kyōya bobs his head as his little fists tighten.

"Protect the Leaf."

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Itachi has no idea just how drastically that little statement will change things.

002

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Hinata's crying, she knows as the Hyūga heiress she should not, but she cannot stop.

It's dark and whatever she's in is itchy and hurts her delicate skin, and something nasty has been stuffed in her mouth and makes it hard to breathe.

She wants her mother, she wants her father, she wants to be back in bed and for this to all be a bad dream.

The bad man who has taken her keeps muttering numbers under his breath, counting out the guard rotation, and she doesn't think her father will save her.

Oh, he's on his way, and in one world, he'd have killed her kidnapper.

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In this world, another kind of imminent doom catches up to them first.

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"What have we got?"

The Third Hokage can only stare after he finishes his question, looking at the four people current in his office alongside his best ANBU. Who had been beaten to a kidnapping by a six year old academy student.

On one side, Uchiha Kyōya stands, one hand steadily gripping a tonfa speckled with blood, the other effortlessly holding Hyūga Hinata to his side. The little girl is clinging to his neck with all her might, and though she sends her father the occasional look to make sure he's still there, she's quite content to stick like glue to the boy who pulled her from the burlap sack she'd been stored in for easy transport.

Beside them stands Hyūga Hiashi, who twitches every time Hinata so much as moves in the Uchiha boy's arms, but who's also leaking killer intent towards the downed body.

Hiruzen has to admit, the Uchiha boy knew exactly where to hit to bring about maximum pain without actually killing the Kumo nin; it's quite impressive.

He doesn't doubt the boy will be graduating soon.

"What happened." This time, it's not a question.

"The Herbivore was kidnapping the Little Bunny. I bit him to death."

What?

Puzzling through the oddest verbal report he's heard since Jiraiya's last visit, Hiruzen turns to glare at the Kumo nin once more. There's a special circle in hell reserved for those who attempt a kidnap during a peace conference, and Hiruzen dearly wishes to just send him off right now.

As it stands though, he has to at least give him a trial.

"Take him to T&I."

There's the familiar flash of a body flicker, and Hiruzen turns his gaze upon Uchiha Kyōya once again, just as his father burst into the room.

"Kyōya! What have you done now!"

He will never, ever admit it, but it gives him a certain kind of pleasure to watch Fugaku struggle with one of his sons.

Itachi is such a delight, so well behaved.

Kyōya appears to be the exact opposite of his older brother, if the way he stands his ground, raises his tonfa and shuffles the proclaimed 'Little Bunny' in his grip until he's stood between her and everyone else is any indication.

Promising attitude indeed.

"You're crowding."

With an absolutely furious sigh, Fugaku takes two steps back, and Kyōya judges the distance before nodding in acceptance.

What an incredibly difficult child.

"I was patrolling, came across a herbivore attempting to harm the Little Bunny, and I bit him to death."

Patrolling? Of all the hobbies to pick up...

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Fugaku stares at his youngest son, who lays napping on the Hyūga gardens with the Hyūga heiress all but curled up into his side.

Itachi sits beside them, Sasuke sprawled across his lap, looking inquisitively at the little girl -the first outside of family- that Kyōya has allowed to get near him.

The head of the Uchiha Clan can barely what is happening; invited to the Hyūga grounds, people greeting and praising his middle child -and subsequently himself for raising him- in the streets.

It's strange.

It's even stranger to be sat with the Third and Hiashi, drinking tea and casually discussing politics.

"You've raised an... Interesting child, Fugaku."

Fugaku doesn't say what he dearly wishes, that he hasn't so much as raised Kyōya as dragged him along, kicking and screaming the whole way.

And that was only before the lit toe hellion became capable of squirming out of his grip.

He's not about to admit that he has no other choice but to let him run wild, that he's still coming up with ways that try and fail to rein him in.

"Kyōya's exceptional in battle," Fugaku agrees, looking over at the boy that would prefer to nap as much as a Nara if he could get away with it.

Sasuke takes this moment to shuffle into Kyōya's side. The silver eyed boy pops open an eyelid for a moment, ruffles at Sasuke's hair, and then goes back to his snoozing.

Itachi watches them both with fondness in his eyes, love for his younger brother's evident.

"Exceptional indeed," Hiashi murmurs, looking over to the gorges that still exist in the Hyūga gardens from Kyōya's successful attempt at stopping a kidnapping.

"I believe we'll be keeping at eye on him."

Well really, that's the last thing Fugaku wants.

003

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"Sir, he's at it again."

There is no need to explain what exactly is going on, Fugaku's heard these words too many times already, he knows exactly what that phrase means now.

Before it used to come with stuttering reports, jumbled exclamations from officers who couldn't quite believe what they were seeing.

Even now, four years on from when that behaviour first started, there's still the odd officer who gets blindsided by what's happening.

Part of him wants to blame Uzumaki, even though she only had three years to really create an impact.

The sensible part of him, the less vengeful part, acknowledges this is not the repercussions of the Fourth Hokage's wife and her influence.

This is just the worst streak of bad luck; in fact, it is potentially all of Fugaku's bad luck given form, to make his life truly hell.

But he knows if his wife ever finds out he thinks this she'd hang him naked at the village gates, so he never once breathes a word of his secret thoughts aloud.

"Right," he says instead, and if the tone is laced with resignation, then honestly Fugaku's won't bother to acknowledge that either.

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He finds the little hellion in a training ground, surrounded by the bruised and battered Jonin hopefuls. It's as embarrassing for them as it is for Fugaku.

"Kyōya!"

No matter how stern, how reprimanding he makes his voice, the boy never acknowledges it.

Hell, the one time he'd -so frustratingly done on accident- laced killer intent into his voice, the boy hadn't so much as twitched.

Instead he just twirls the tonfas -the worst gift he has ever bought the boy, but there's no parting them now without the loss of limb at best-, expertly flicking the blood free from their metal body before storing them upon the thigh holsters.

He stares down at the nearest body, poking it with his foot and seems entirely unamused when the man lets out a pained groan in response.

"Herbivore," Uchiha Kyōya states decisively, eyes half-lidded and frown marring his pale face.

He's got Mikoto's jawline, that crystal clear already, with shaggy black hair that falls somewhat artistically around his face. The light silver eyes threw both of them off to begin with, but Kyōya's Sharingan was already blazing by the time he turned three -otherwise known as the beginning of the end- when he received his first set of tonfas.

Everyday has been a battle since.

If the boy isn't busy training, he's off 'patrolling' the streets to beat up 'offending herbivores'.

When he'd attended the academy, he'd disciplined his year-mates for 'crowding' and then disciplined the teacher for failing to 'control the herd'.

Now a genin, Fugaku's second son goes around challenging every ninja he finds to a battle, to see where they fall on his personal 'food chain'.

More often than not, Kyōya always walks away the victor of the match, sometimes even bruise free, something that is becoming more and more common as the days pass by.

And always, always, he steamrolled right over Fugaku's authority as if it isn't even there.

Fugaku hasn't been able to rein the boy in since he first managed to wiggle out of his grip aged three.

It's a constant source of embarrassment on the Uchiha clan and himself as a father. If it isn't for the fact the boy is a damn good ninja -even more of a fighting prodigy than Itachi, some whisper- then Fugaku has no doubts the elders would be complaining.

Oh, his eldest is good, refined and elegant, but were he and Kyōya the same age, the latter would have him beat.

There's just a brutally efficiency to his movements, not a drop of wasted energy. He's fast, he hits hard, and he's absolutely relentless. A genius at reinforcing his body with chakra, once Kyōya gets going it's almost impossible to stop him.

"Kyōya!"

Finally, finally, the boy turns to look at him, but it's with some shade of almost contempt, as if he's not even worth the time of day.

It's infuriating.

"False Carnivore."

And that title!

"Home, now!" Fugaku snaps, just in time for his second son to dissolve into wisps of smoke and just how damn long has he been snarling at an illusion?! How long has he been stood there in this training field with the unconscious victims of the bane of his existence?

And how big a bill will the hospital send this time?

004

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"Why was I not informed of the Little Carnivore?"

Itachi looks up, almost dreading to see what he will find.

Sure enough, Kyōya is stood holding Uzumaki Naruto out by the collar from an extended arm.

For a moment, Itachi likens him to a cat, presenting his kill to a favoured human. He quickly discards that idea though, because he doesn't like the implications in the least.

"Uzumaki?" Sasuke blurts out and Itachi belatedly realises that the two are in the same schooling year at the academy.

"Hiya Sasuke!" He's loud.

Kyōya obviously thinks so too, because he gives the blond in his grip a sharp shake, scowling as he does so. Uzumaki hangs there limply as he's violently shaken back and forth, still grinning wildly and is that paint on his fingers? Well, it seems quite obvious why Kyōya's dragged him in for some discipline. Yet-

"The Carnivore procreated."

Ah.

Itachi and both his parents had been rather hopeful Kyōya would have forgotten about Kushina, or at least, not make the connection between mother and son. Not for any particularly nasty reason; it's just that Kyōya is, for lack of a better description, rather blunt. And there's certain S-ranked secrets to consider.

There's a tugging at his pants leg and Itachi looks down at his youngest brother, just to ignore the dilemma that is Kyōya right now.

"What does procreate mean?"

That, that is even further down on his to-do list, explaining that word.

"That's a question for father," Itachi insists, sighing at Kyōya before inspiration strikes him.

Because Itachi might be the eldest brother, but that doesn't mean he has to deal with this.

Because he's not at the top of the command chain.

While he might rank higher in Kyōyaso personal chain, this is a problem for their father.

"I believe that is also a question for father, Kyōya."

The genin hums, nods to himself, and makes no move to put Naruto down, hefting him under his arm as if he were a rugby ball, the boy's limbs hanging down towards the ground even as he laughs.

Well, it appears they will be having a dinner guest today.

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Dinner is tense, to say the least.

His mother looks upon Naruto fondly, piling his plate up with food the second the boy admits to living alone.

His father is evidentially torn. One on hand, his wife is happy. On the other, there's already enough rumours spreading through the village about the Uchiha and Biju.

Naruto's asked what 'carnivore' means twice, and snickered none too quietly when Kyōya addressed father as 'the false carnivore'.

Itachi has no idea where his little brother has picked these names up, but it's quite adorable to watch strict and serious Kyōya dote on the 'little animal' that is Sasuke. For all the youngest sibling complains, he's obviously thrilled with Kyōya's attention.

It is only as mother is bringing out dessert, with Naruto looking both dazed and a bit teary-eyed, and Sasuke mulish at the other boy's prolonged presence, that Kyōya's expressions firms.

He can all but feel his father tense beside him in dreaded anticipation.

"I will help the little animals sharpen their fangs."

Everyone pauses for a second, before the exclamation runs through Itachi's mental Kyōya translator.

"Yes!" Sasuke punches the air non too gracefully just as their father's face crumples in preemptive resignation.

"Huh?" Of course, Naruto has yet to spend any amount of time with Kyōya, and thus hasn't quite gotten his head around his, unique speech patterns.

"Nii-san's gonna train us!" Sasuke exclaims, and Naruto bolts upwards to join in the celebrations.

"Yes! That's so cool, 'ttebayo!"

"Which means you'll have to come over for dinner more often, Naruto-chan."

Itachi hadn't even heard his mother return from the kitchen.

Beside him, his father just lets out the softest, most pained whine Itachi has ever heard a human make. No doubt picturing Kyōya passing on his teachings, and thus his attitude, to a gaggle of students.

And with that thought-

"I shall supervise these lessons."

For all that Kyōya looks a bit irritated with him for butting in, Itachi has never had his father look so incredibly grateful for something he's said before.

It had to be done. It had to be. Once I got the idea, there was no ignoring it. (I just really wanted to write Hibari bossing through the Naruto world)

For reference, Kyōya is two years younger than Itachi, three years older than Sasuke, and became a Genin at seven.

Here's hoping you enjoyed my, probably failed, attempt at humour,

Tsume

xxx