I don't appreciate Plagiarism! I do cross post on Archiveofourown as Poker though.

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin' "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'It's because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them!

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. (Darn straight!)

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.
What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up
I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.
I'm the girl that will punch you if you push me.
I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.
I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.
I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.
BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.
I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.
I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way.
I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idot.
I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment.
I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write.
I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends.
I'm also the girl they call "best friend."

90% of teens today would die if Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35 percent that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.

If you say soda instead of pop, copy and past this to your profile

If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy & Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have authors you respect, copy and paste this to your profile

If you hate math, copy and paste this to your profile

YOU KNOW YOUR AN AUTHOR IF...

you talk to yourself alot. (alot meaning all the time...)

you talk to yourself about talking to yourself

when you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else

after uttering a profound piece of wisdom, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "wow,this stuff is awesome for sugar highs..."

you live off of sugar and caffeine. (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

you'll check your e-mail every day of the week then disapear of the face of the earth.

when replying to a e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it

you tend to collect bic stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

no matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper

the letters on your keyboard are wearing off

your freinds and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome

people think you have A.D.D.

you think it would be cool to have A.D.D.

you constantly start talking in third person,past or present tense

you start thinking about making lists like this and start giggiling for no 'apparent' reason

your freinds stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago

and FINALLY, the one way to tell if you are a good writer: you failed english 101

(copy that into your profile if you fit one or more of the description)

What to Do If You Know you're Gonna Fail an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming 'Andre, Andre, I've got the secrets!'

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your
answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, 'I'm SOOO sure that
you can hear me thinking.' Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor
is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every
question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that
it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief.
Go to the instructor, say 'They've found me, I have to leave the country' and
run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces,
throw them into the air and yell out 'Merry Christmas.' If you're really daring,
ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process
every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and
nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar
as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on
the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat,
continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start
commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream
out 'Screw this!' and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor
that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour
to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point
during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on
a white mask and start yelling 'I'm here, the phantom of the opera' until
they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you
could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.
If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you.
Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice
cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say
to the instructor, 'I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every
lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you?
Where's the regular guy?'

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers
completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why,
tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, 'the light bulb that goes on
above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!'

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy.
Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally
get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme
to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

RULES
You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
Copy and paste this on your profile!

"Come to the dark side, we have cookies!"

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

/\ /\
(0.0)
(_._)

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, Rainthief, birdgirl24, Lilac_Rose6, SonicLugiaFan1, Hailfire Vulpes, Lunara the ara, BrightDarkness-2013, Halloween Lantern

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris

I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would

Pass this around

I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground

If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

Dude I hate these things but I am very superstitious: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. I usually wouldn't do this but the thought of that scares me.