This is the last chap. to anyone reading this, i would like to thank you for getting this far. It's not a satisfying ending or anything, nothing completely unexpected, and for a last chap this might seem lacking. However, every single chap of this fic had reflected a lot about what had been going on in my life at the time, so yea theres going to be no changing this thing. How it is now is how it will be for a looong looong forever.

Thank you for reading I Didnt Write My Life So I'm Screwed Over, and i do hope Caia's given u things to help u become better persons.

Chapter 55

Silence replaced the sound of my footsteps in the forest as I slowed down to a stop. There was a presence in the forest, one that was strangely familiar to me, yet at the same time not. I cautiously fingered a knife in my pocket, ready for battle.

"I know you're there, and I won't ask who you are, bitch." I told no one in particular.

There was a familiar chuckle, and I let go of my knife, facing the white haired man behind me.

"Checkerface." Kawahira.

"You're in the forest, alone. Plotting another brilliant scheme?" He asks, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're not in your antique shop."

He simply shrugs. "The Vongola children wandered in. Trouble always follow the young sky and his friends wherever they go, but of course, my shop is a small thing to offer to save Yuni."

His face was as stoic as always, yet there was an odd care in his voice as he mentioned the name of the small female Arcobaleno sky.

"You care, somehow."

He watches me, and I see something flicker in his eyes, an odd familiarity. "You have indeed grown up, in small ways – but it is change nonetheless."

I only looked at him in confusion, but then he adds.

"In this world, though, your presence is required or this world would end in chaos. You are going to be the key in this story, setting events the way they are meant to go. If you fail, the world would end in shambles. If you succeed, then everything would go the way you know it."

It sounded familiar, too familiar, something that someone had said to me a long time ago.

Kawahira smiles, not of happiness, just a smile because it was standard of non-verbal communication to do so. "I wouldn't expect you to remember, not when it has been twenty five years since I last said it."

I couldn't remember. Not exactly, but I could feel that I had heard the words before and had taken it to heart.

"You brainwashed my infant self and doomed me down this path of acting like a hero, haven't you?" I asked him, but he doesn't reply. Not really.

"It is human… to forget."

Kawahira walks away and again, I am left in the silence of the forest.

##############################

The white haired man lets the familiar mist flames wrap around him, as he thinks to himself how fragile human memory was. Caia Cavallone had done a good job, she had more memories than any normal human being her age would ever have, but it is still inevitable that she would forget.

Kawahira could still remember, how hopeful he had been, how young he had felt, first talking with the child. Naivety. She used to be naïve. He wonders why the world thought of that as a bad thing, when sometimes, all people really needed to do was make the naïve choice, and the world would be way better than he had ever known it.

Humans, live only for such a short matter of time that they never really realize that all they ever needed in their hearts were already there from the start.

Humans attempt to live so much to search, for home, for purpose, for love, for truth.

One can never find such from traveling elsewhere.

One builds those within himself.

Humans never really realize that.

"But the universe, the people in it?"

"Can take care of itself. People aren't that weak to be manipulated by fate and other crappy factors as such. And the universe... Whatever. The tri ni sette exists for a reason."

"But what if whatever you do affects your future? What If every step you take could change the earth.."

"Then that's the way it's meant to be. Life is a crappy game remember? And it has endless amounts of ends, so... The best hope you have is to be a good gamer."

He genuinely laughed at me. "You amuse me. Live long, kid."

Kawahira wonders to himself, what Caia would've been if she had never flown. Sometimes, what we think is growth is actually just us straying and flying from ourselves. Sometimes, what we call growth is the refusal to accept what we are and what we have and trying to get more.

He laughs though.

He had been young once, too.

And he had flown once, too.

Self, was a concept that no one could ever decide for you. You decided who you were.

Caia had chosen her.

Caia picked that part of herself.

######################

Talbot was where he said he'd be in the forest. There was a huge crater, a wide open space: the site of the final battle. It took us no longer than an hour to bury his machine, took us no longer an hour to finally finish the plan we've spent a near entire month setting to motion.

The old man breathed a sigh as everything began to feel as if ended, and gave me a look.

"You do know what you are doing, child?"

I nodded at him, and then laughed.

"I never really did pay you, did I, Talbot? More than that can of tuna when I was nothing but a toddler?"

The old man smiled, and it seemed to remove a few years off of the frown on his face. "You never did pay me, but you never required anything monetary from me either. It is enough payment, child, to have watched you grow – and to have watched the rest of the Vongola grow along with you."

"Thank you." I said, and as Talbot looked at me, I finally felt that I had grown in the eyes of the old man.

Many times he had looked at me, and I had stared back and I had felt as if I was four, I was sixteen, as if nothing had ever really changed. But at that moment, I was twenty six, and I felt it, the weight of my life.

"You understand now." He said, and I nodded.

"I do."

Growing up, wasn't simply the matter of aging and becoming mature. Growing up wasn't simply caring for the people, handling my responsibilities and equipping myself with the knowledge and the ability to fight.

Growing up was accepting me. Accepting that every single thing I've ever done, every single thing I'm doing and plan to do, is me. That all my mistakes, that all my plans, are things I've got to own up to.

It's a heavy feeling. It's a heavy fucking feeling to carry alone. It's a screaming feeling that's begging me to just turn tail and run, because that's the easy thing to do. Even when it's not right. Growing up was being strong enough to own up to who I am and be happy with that.

That was the greatest key of all.

To be happy.

I opened my hands in front of Talbot, and closed it quickly, in a grasp-like motion. I held it close to me, that invisible star of hope that everything would be fucking okay. I no longer needed assurances, I no longer needed anyone to drag me back to the right path.

Faith.

Hope.

Love.

For every single person I know, for every single thing I've gone through. For the Vongola, For the Varia, for the Kids, For Belphegor, and mostly,

The greatest person I'd ever have to love: myself.

Again, I can walk.

####################

Dino. Squalo. Romario.

I met them as I was walking, the trio sneaking by the forest, the three obviously worn out from their battles. Squalo was slung on Romario's back, and Dino was obviously sporting a limp.

Dino hugged me, we hadn't seen each other since the fights began, and there was simply no words to be exchanged between us both now.

He simply mumbled 'be careful', because for the first time, in what had been our eternity, he finally understood me. And I smiled at my brother and I held his hand because for the first time, I understood him too.

"I love you more than the world, Cai." He had said, not too long ago, and he repeated it now, and I nodded because I understood.

"I love you too, Nii-chan."

He hugs me again. "Mom would've been so proud of you. You're her through and through, have I ever told you that?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Mom would've been so much prouder of you. You chose to stay, Dino. That's what Argia was. Someone who chose to stay. She was there for us, wasn't she, when it would've been so easy for her to turn tail and leave Dario once she'd given him heirs."

He smiled, and then patted me on the back, as if pushing me to go.

My brother was finally letting me live my own life.

My brother had grown up too.

"Thank you." I said, and he smiled.

"Thank you."

My eyes met with Romario, and I can tell that the old man was barely keeping in the exasperation he's had over my last adventures.

For a minute, I remembered a short exchange between us, something that had happened so long ago, and yet resonated so strongly as if it was happening at that very moment.

"When I grow up, I'm going to prove to you that I'm stronger and way more epic than you think."

I guess Romario really did understand my mentality because he smiled back, and I can see encouragement even if it was vague. "I'd like to see you try, Miss."

I hugged the older man, and I could see that the worry faded, and suddenly he was like the father that Dino and I never had again.

"You just had to go and add betraying the entire Mafia to your bucket list, didn't you Miss?"

I laughed, yet at the same time held back the tears that were threatening to fall because Romario had called me Miss with such fondness, with so much a feeling of home, that it felt like everything would finally be peaceful if I just go home.

But I was resolute not to. I was resolute that I had to fight, so I smiled, and despite the pain, I told the man that I had always looked up to in my childhood.

"I betray for good reasons, Romario."

And he smiled, because that was one of his lines, and he remembered. Yet at the same time, the smile was sad, the both of us knowing full well that there was never any turning back to that.

Squalo stirred and I met his eyes.

"You're insane crazy wild and genius Caia. But you're not a traitor. I trust you. I'm sure the whole Varia does. You're a fleeting cloud. We can't restrain you. But you're bound to our sky the same way we are, and we all accept that even if you stop working around us for a little while, you'd still be Varia quality all the same."

He had said those words before, and his stare spoke the very same words now.

"Varia Quality." I muttered, and he nodded.

I smiled. "Thanks Squ-nii."

This time, I wasn't the first to go. They were the first to leave. It was weird, standing there in the middle of the forest, seeing the backs of the people you've always loved move away from you.

This was how they always felt watching me.

It hurt.

But pain woke me, and again it was possible to walk.

################

I sat in the darkness as night fell, and the last moments of peace slipped past us by.

My ears listened to the footsteps I've been expecting. A pair. One lighter than the other.

"Varia cloud."

I opened my eyes to meet heterochromatic ones, and nodded kindly at the green orbs that stood beside him. Fran and Mukuro.

Fran sat beside me, the teen instantly receiving a glare from the older man.

"She could be a traitor, a murderer or someone masked in an illusion of her, Fran. The Varia should've trained you better than that, Kufufufufu."

Fran only shrugged, took another glance at me and told the older illusionist. "The thing Mammon-san told me about illusions was that they never mask the smell of the person behind them. She's Caia-nee, I'm sure. No one smells more of reckless behavior and fighting spirit than she does."

Mukuro stared at me too, and our eyes met. "Hey, pineapple."

The man laughed his trademark laugh, then raised an eyebrow.

I grinned at him, and as I began to speak, Fran and Mukuro listened with the most apt interest I had ever seen in either of them.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Mukuro was the first to speak, but there was a sly smirk in place. He was excited.

I rolled my eyes at the man, realizing we've both come a long way since we were midgets in the halls of the Estraneo.

"Maybe that's cause we're alike in a sense. But, I'm content with being here. I guess you're not."

He looked interested. "You're interested in living in this world? The world of humans who endlessly strive to fulfill their desires even if it takes endless backstabbing, generation after generation?"

I laughed. "That's the dark part of the world. On the other half of it, there's the side of humans that try so hard to keep their world alive. There's the side of humans that would protect everything they love with their own lives."

That was what we had said so long ago. Both of us had found different views from the one we started with.

Fran took a look at both of us. "Great, I'm stuck with two of the most insane people in the Vongola."

I laughed, then looked at the pineapple, wondering if he remembered it too.

"Maybe that's cause we're alike in a sense. But I'm more of a schemer than he'd ever be."

He chuckled. "I trust in the Vongola, Varia Cloud. The Vongola that try to keep their world alive."

I winked at Mukuro, who dismissed me with a small smile. He motioned Fran to stand up, who obeyed without much complaint. The teenager simply glanced back at me, his eyes shining of Varia Quality that hadn't been there just few years before when he was no older than ten.

"Caia-nee, Lambo, Ipin and Fuuta will grill me on a stake if they find out I know about this."

He had said, and I only shrugged, winking at the teen. "You're Varia, Fran. I bet you can keep a large secret by yourself."

He sighed, mumbling something along the lines of irrational adults, before turning his back and trailing behind Mukuro. The young illusionist glanced back when they were several feet away. "Goodbye, Caia-nee." He said, and although his expression did not betray him, the barely noticeable quiver in his voice did.

I smiled at the teen, then nodded.

They disappeared in mist.

####################

Being me meant that I was going to get no sleep that night.

I doubted I'd be getting any sleep after this either, but it's not as if it bothered me anymore. I was resolute. Sure, the heavy aches in my heart kept screaming that I was once again doing the wrong thing. But sometimes, the only road was forward.

I walked through the grass, noticing that with every step I took down the forest, a new path was being paved. Tomorrow, they would all be walking round him, running, clawing, trying to fight for the famiglia. But tonight, I'd be here first, doing my part.

He was outside.

I hadn't expected him to be, but he was.

Their base was nothing but what appeared to be a flying drone the size of the bus. He was standing in the small clearing that was their territory, glancing upward to the moon.

"Byakuran." I called the man.

His eyes turned into a glare as they turned quickly to me. They blinked once, twice, and the amethyst in them was suddenly coated in shock. They turned composed the next instant, and again, I was exchanging stares with the man who had taken and destroyed millions of lives in millions of worlds.

"Caia-chan." The evil smirk was back, the mocking tone, the way he tried to exert dominance with the way he made it feel as if you were trapped.

I ignored my instincts screaming at me to run, that he was a dangerous opponent, and instead tried to force them to look at Byakuran as he was deep in my heart.

The person I loved.

And loving someone, wasn't the way romantic shows made it out to be. There were no such things as sparks, or fireworks, or the sensation that everything was falling into place at once. Those feelings were for the lucky ones.

But then sometimes, the person we grow to love, isn't the person that we're meant to be with. They're not the easy road, the sure road. There can only be so much magic for true love to go two ways.

The way Zero-kun's eyes had looked at me, I was his. I was his true one, but the way I had treated him, the way I had never regretted my actions more than I had, simply meant that he wasn't mines. Maybe it was because I wasn't ready, or maybe it was because I just didn't. Simple as that, I didn't.

Loving someone meant more than feeling that pang, that bang on your chest. It meant your utmost willingness to sacrifice for the joys and the better of that one other person. It meant going even if you wanted to stay, for the better. It meant letting go, and grasping at strings, and running far. It means always finding it in your heart for the two of you to grow.

We hadn't tried to grow.

All those years, we spent in adversity against one another, in desperation over things that we thought were circumstance and simply cannot be helped. But that was where we were wrong, because nothing was ever truly simple circumstance.

We always had a choice. And one of those choices always leads to the better for us both. And being in love meant choosing that.

Love is a choice.

Love is choosing to wake up in the morning. Love is choosing to have breakfast, and rise up and walk. Love is choosing to run through the monotonous every day. Love is choosing to walk in the rain, eventually finding the strength to carry an umbrella. Love is being on your knees, and still choosing to crawl. Love is giving up, and never giving up at the same time.

It isn't definable, not by a feeling, not by a thought, or a mindset or tradition.

Love is a pure choice.

You don't love someone because you just do. You love someone because you choose to.

His eyes were insane and as I stared at them, I felt immense pain in my chest. I hadn't looked at his eyes in love for a long time. I had looked at him differently. I had looked at Byakuran the way all the others had – as a monster, as a person whose very existence meant danger for the world.

Looking at him as I did now, all I could see is a man. A man driven to insanity by the weight of his power. And I felt pain, knowing that I hadn't seen this before. That Byakuran too, was still a man, and not an enemy.

He was still Zero-kun, as Zero-kun was.

He was still my best friend. My childhood. My love.

And I found, for the first time, staring into dark eyes filled with hatred and thirst for destruction, eyes drenched in anger – I found the strength to smile.

I could tell that my smile shook him to the very core.

"Zero-kun." I called him.

He tried to regain composure, but I could still see there was doubt and fear eating away inside of him. His eyes weren't as secure as they always were. Weren't as harshly defended and walled as I had gotten used to seeing them.

Of course.

Byakuran was insane, but only because he was living in fear.

And it was one of the most basic things, that the only thing that would ever rid of fear, was love.

"Caia-chan." He repeated, but it was softer, as if he had run out of breath. The mild losing of his composure was starting to show.

"I've come back." I said, and it hurt, knowing now fully well that I had left him and let him go at the time he needed me most. "I'm home."

He tried to scoff, but I could see that the words had reached him, that the words had made a wedge in all the fear and uncontrolled anger he was dealing with.

He tried to glare, but Byakuran was no longer that sure.

I walked slowly towards him, carefully, never letting my stare leave his eyes. He backed a bit, but realized he was doing so and so stood there, watching my every move. It hurt that his eyes resembled that of a cornered animal, wary and watching my every move.

"I'm not going to hurt you, not anymore." I told him, and he glared.

I could tell at last that this was still Zero-kun. That Zero-kun and Byakuran had never been different. They were a part, and they formed a complete whole. It was bullshit, to accept and love simply the good side of him, and refuse to acknowledge that dark other side. There was a difference between overcoming that underlying void in ourselves, and simply ignoring it.

I had chosen the latter, and now there was no room to regret that. Only to fix it.

"You already did." The voice sounded nothing like the Byakuran that had fought with me heads on the past few years. This was Zero-kun. He hadn't laid underneath all that. This was him. All fucking him.

"I know, Zero-kun, I know. And I'm sorry."

"You can't fix anything anymore, Caia-chan, not when I'm like this."

And I looked at him, straight in the eye. "I'm not giving up on you, Zero-kun. I am not going to let you sink anymore further and further than you already have. I know you're in there and I know that you can stand the fuck up all by yourself. I am going to remind you, every single day if I have to that you can, that you can still wake up some day and be okay."

Anger replaces the uncertainty. "You have no idea what it means to be me, Caia-chan."

And I nodded. "I know. But that's why I'm going to drag your fucking ass back up anyway. That's why I'm going to hold your hand, and walk beside you and wait for your dumb self to pick itself back up."

"This is me." He declared.

"No. That's not you." I declared back with such conviction that it scared even myself. "That is not who you are, Zero-kun, and I am not going to let you accept that that is all you will ever be. I believe in you, that you are so much more than what you see yourself as. Because I have seen what you are, who you are, and I know so much about what you can be once you're free."

He is silent, but the fear was back, and I could tell that I had opened something, that I had reached somewhere.

I looked at him one more time, straight. And I hoped that he could see in my eyes the love that I had felt for him, the love that I finally understood, and continued to feel.

"I believe in you, Zero-kun. So please, believe in yourself too."

Sky flames.

Sky flames burst out from behind him, and they took form in the shape of wings. The edges of the wings were jagged, several sky flames bursting into fire that sent grass patches into ashes. Anger resonated in the air, and I could see in his eyes the grudges that he held towards me for so long. I had hurt him, shot through his heart, leaving a hole for anger and despair.

"You can't say that to me, not anymore, not after all these years when you could have saved me but chose not to." The voice, the tone, the way the emotion coated his words, was all entirely Zero-kun's.

With every word, the wings grew, until destructive sky flames filled the clearing we were standing on, and the few sparks that slipped out of his control set ablaze to the area around us. Power. Strength. That was the image that Byakuran was built upon. But looking at the man with orange wings now, I saw none of those. I only saw someone broken, to the point that the only choice he had left in him was to lash out at the world.

And I saw that there was no point apologizing anymore, no point in making excuses, no point in fighting back. Sometimes maturity meant realizing that saying sorry, that trying to explain wasn't going to cut it anymore. Sometimes, it meant, understanding when to own up to our own mistakes.

Nothing was circumstance. Only choice.

So I let his anger explode, let Byakuran take his anger out on the world and on me, his sky flames sucking the breathable air from around us, creating a feeling of suffocation. His wrath and power reverberated through the atmosphere, making me feel weak in the knees. And yet I chose to stand there. I chose to stay.

"I do believe in you, Zero-kun."

He looked at me with eyes full of raw emotion. Anger, hope, sadness, frustration, fear, despair all merging into one – him. This was all him.

And he was all that and not at the same time. And he was everything and nothing all the same. And looking at him, I felt the sheer urge to hold him close and keep him safe.

It was as simple as that: love.

Love isn't anything complicated. Isn't anything real or genuine that flows somewhere deep within all of us. It isn't something destined by fate, or something that's a part of one's very soul.

Love is those small moments when you just want nothing more than to be there for that one person. Nothing more than a part of that person's world.

I felt love at that moment as I stared into the eyes of the man I had thought and called 'monster' the last few years. I felt love and I let it show through my eyes.

And Byakuran, for the first time in years, shed tears from his eyes.

It was a lone few drops, and he neither sobbed nor felt the water dripping from his eyes. He only felt it as it slid down his cheek.

His deranged composure changed, his wings disappeared in a flash, and once more we were left in the darkness. There was panic in his eyes, as if everything he had ever stood for had changed at that moment. He looked at me in fear.

"I love you, Byakuran." I said. My voice sounded weak, sounded pleading to me, shaky and small against the silence of the forest. But the effect it had on him was large. Something changed in his amethyst eyes. What had been pure hardness suddenly cracked. What had been a large wall slowly crumbled down.

And he felt that too, because he turned away from me, and walked a few large steps away as if that would lessen the effect on him. He neither spoke, nor glanced, and I knew that he had shut down, that now he was refusing to listen and that no matter what I said, it wouldn't reach him.

"I love you, Byakuran." I repeated, before turning to walk my own way.

I refused to glance.

There was still much to do.

The sun will rise and we will try again.

################################

The sun did rise.

I stood by the cliff, alongside Fran and Mukuro, watching as the Vongola teens fought their way against the six funeral wreaths.

It was a familiar sight for me, having seen these all before from another world – but it was different now, in a way.

Because I knew these people, and these people, I had loved and lived with. I had shared memories with them and they've become a part of me, just as I was a part of them. My very identity had been shaped and built with these people, and what I had thought would simply be a surreal battle I had seen before, was instead a true war, with me constantly worrying over the lives of the people I had grown with.

"You two should go help them, too." I told the pair beside me.

Fran looked at the older man. I could tell that in his stoic eyes, he wanted to fight alongside everyone else too.

Mukuro gave me a questioning look. "Are you sure of this, Varia Cloud?"

I grinned at Mukuro, "surer than sure."

The mist sighed, then motioned for the younger to follow him.

Fran hugged me, and it surprised me just how tall he'd already become. We were already the same height now.

I was reminded once more that we've come way longer than we ever dreamed.

"Goodbye, Fran." I told the little mist.

And he smiled. I could see that expressing the emotion hurt him, but he smiled.

"Thank you." I said, and the pair was once more gone, in just the sound of footsteps.

###################

The scent and colors of flames filled the air.

The Vongola would never know it, fighting and clawing their way to victory, The Millefiore would never know it, in their great insanity. But in that battle between each other, the entire area resonated with dying will flames.

They would never know the beautiful, mesmerizing sight I saw, sitting on that cliff watching the world as it battled. The Vongola would never know, that their feelings for famiglia, that all their flames and resolve to protect – had done enough to save the world.

They would never see the explosion that I saw. Storm, Sun, Mist, Cloud, Lightning, Rain, Sky – all merging to form a large white explosion that spread through the entire area, enclosing the entirety of Namimori into a protected area – an area pledged to safety because of strings of promises merged into one.

Famiglia.

No. Family.

"It doesn't matter how harsh or cruel things are, Fuuta, for the mafia. What matters for them is Famiglia. That's all there ever will be."

That was what Tsunayoshi had said then.

I watched the dancing flames in the air, flames that carried the hopes and dreams of every single one of them.

This was Family.

Family that sacrificed.

Family that fought.

Family that stayed.

Family that protected.

Family that loved.

#######################

Three large orbs filled the area in which the three skies stood, enclosing them in a space meant only for those with the powers of the Trinisette. Desperation, worry and grief was spread through those that stood outside the sphere, watching their skies trapped in a battle to the death.

Fourteen year old Sawada Tsunayoshi felt the immense fear beating in his chest, being backed into a corner into a one on one with the Millefiore boss. He was against the largest of odds. His knees buckled from underneath him, and his stomach rolled with every breath. He let his nails bite through his palms, to remind himself he was still conscious and that he had to stay standing up, even though his legs just had had about enough and were already ready to give up.

He couldn't fall and be weak, not now.

He lets himself breathe, and refuses to acknowledge the sensation urging him to throw up. He tries to blink away the blackness seizing his vision, and tries to scream at his heart to stop pounding and aching through his muscles.

It is undeniable – that standing before the white haired man with wings and eyes full of anger and insanity, Tsunayoshi Sawada, battered, bruised and barely standing, seemed so small.

And yet what is small, only means that it too has the potential to become something greater.

And in the world, there is nothing more valuable than the potential to become. Believe in the process – for the process is always half as great as the outcome.

Tsunayoshi stood there as his fear morphed into desperation, and desperation into dying will. Flames that swirled around him reached out to the powers that laid within the ring he wore. The ring which listened to his resolve and was amazed at its sheer purity, the sheer resolve that was only meant to protect.

The ring that glowed and released the flames and power that it had stored centuries over centuries, bestowing it upon that lone, scrawny, boy, whose eyes suddenly reflected the instantaneous change in his eyes. From weakness, to immense strength.

And once more, the two skies clashed in battle. And once more, sky flames over sky flames were released, each one aiming to overpower the other.

Two bodies played the dance of death, blow after blow after blow.

And outside the sphere, all the onlookers could do was watch, and gape at the sight of two skies fighting for dominance over the world.

All but one.

For outside the sphere too, amidst the grief and the hope was love.

And love, for all its faults and uncertainties, for all of its misfortunes would always try and try to break through the barriers that stands in its way. For love, for all its weakness would never give up on trying to reach that which forms its core. For love, for all its fragility, would be willing to sacrifice its very self in the very name of what it defines right.

Love does. Love does break through the barriers that stops it, and love reaches its core.

Then a scene, a scene where love derives great comfort just by the very presence, just by the realization that one is never alone. And all that is grief and hope and despair watches, as love performs its ultimate sacrifice.

As love joins love and love becomes everything and nothing at all.

And maybe it is not strength that would save the world after all, or power, or hope or change.

But love.

Love in all its different forms.

And there is anguish, as Byakuran realizes that he had lost his ledge, for the ledge had sacrificed itself and let itself fall, for the greater good.

######################

Byakuran feels fear.

There is nothing more frightening than the feeling of fear itself.

We are often more afraid, of being afraid, than what it is we are afraid of.

Because that is what fear is. Fear is the grim reminder, the grim awakening that not all in the world is as right as we hope it to be. Fear is the start of our doubts, on both ourselves, on others, and everything that we come to fear in circumstance. Fear is the sudden awakening that we are human, that we err, and that we too are vulnerable to make the wrong choices.

Fear is the sound and scent of weakness.

Byakuran refused weakness.

Weakness, to Byakuran was something intolerable. Weakness was a choice, and Byakuran believed that by fortifying his mind, that by creating a fortress around everything that he fought for, he would become formidable.

But looking at the eyes of the scrawny brunette, he had felt fear.

And it created a deep pit of something that refused to settle inside of him. Something that itched, and burned and caused him to second guess and hesitate at everything he did.

And the more he feared, it seemed, the more the brunette's strength grew. The more he hesitated, the more the little boy's blows became sure.

And Byakuran grew angrier. Angrier because nothing was working in his favor and he was losing all his patience.

And suddenly fear.

Fear.

For in that moment he was sure he would lose.

And as he stood there frozen, as the small fourteen year old readied to end him.

Byakuran kneeled.

Defeated.

########################

There was nothing but the sound of my footsteps now in the forest that had been a battle ground just a few seconds ago. For right now, the battle had ceased, and time was frozen.

Talbot had made me a device that would stop the flow of time for ten minutes, ten valuable minutes that would alter the fate of those in this world. The device that could only be activated by the sheer influx of sky flames, and what better trigger was there, than Tsunayoshi's X-Burner?

Time would stop, but only for those who belonged in these worlds.

Byakuran and I did not.

Him, because he was of multiple selves, because he was the rift in between the multiple worlds that moved in continuum. I, because I was from another dimension entirely – from a different story, a lost soul.

Ten minutes for us.

As I stood beside his defeated, kneeling form, the albino looked up at me, no strength to battle further, and just stared with eyes that were devoid of insanity.

Just fear, and now, regrets.

I took his hand, and on one of his fingers, placed a ring.

A ring that Talbot had designed to take his memories of the other parallel worlds away, and have it placed instead into mines.

He looked at the ring, not knowing what it was for, then gave me a sad smile.

"Last time you gave me a ring, we ended up here." He said, and I chuckled, knowing that he was right.

"This time, I'm giving you a ring to fix it."

He looks at the burning sky flames directed at him. They were solid, for now, but soon, they would be full of sheer firepower, ready to end him for good.

"It's over. It's all over now. I've lost." He admitted to himself, and I could see that in that small realization, he had gained control of himself. Himself as he was and should have been.

"It's all over, sure. You've lost, yes. But nothing's ended yet, Byakuran."

He looks at me, as I called him that name and he smiles.

"All these years, after all that you've done to me, and the lack of it – all that, and I still love you the same, Caia-chan." He says, and I wanted to cry, but I would not want him remembering me to have cried at the last moments.

So instead, I gave him a smile, it was shaky, but it was a smile. "I was a bitch, wasn't I?"

And all of a sudden, the two of us were laughing, because amidst all the crazy, all the war and al the confusion _ somehow, amidst all that we had lost and had destroyed and had changed, we were back to the fucking beginning, and we were realizing only at that moment, that years later, nothing had truly changed.

We were still us.

"My memories. All those memories I've shared with you, of all that I could remember, in all the many versions of worlds that there was. Yours were the only ones in color, Caia-chan."

And I held his hand, tighter in mines this time, just to remind myself how it felt. I couldn't tell his hand from other hands, as many other couples could have. I couldn't tell his fingers from other fingers, because our romance wasn't a story book one.

I could only hold them, and hope that that would be enough.

"I love you, Byakuran."

He smiled, then looked up at the sky.

It was blue.

The brightest blue, as if a war wasn't going on underneath it.

"Do you remember what you said to me a long, long way back, Caia-chan? About fireworks?"

It was unclear, but I tried to picture it in my head,

"But in the smallest time they existed, they made someone happy. They brought someone light. Enough seconds to inspire someone to live, help them find a way out."

"You were my firework, you know that?" He said, and all of a sudden the weight of his love came crashing down on me.

I tried to breathe, but all there was, was overwhelming pain, overwhelming regret. Of a love I had never been able to return quite fully.

Then it was time.

I could tell it was, because my heart was pounding, and the world was beginning to change its gravitational pull. I held his hand tight, and put us both out of the way of the incoming X-Burner.

He looks at me in confusion.

I smiled.

"People, even though not every single person on earth can remember them, it's impossible they'll be completely forgotten. People are bright creatures."

He looks at me in fear.

"Why do I feel as if, you are going to say goodbye?"

And I laughed, because he knew me so motherfucking well.

"Don't forget me, Zero-kun."

I let go of his hand, as the world shifted back and everything began to move.

"I am a firework."

#####################

He was Byakuran.

He was Zero-kun.

He remembers, he knows that he had more memories, far more than those in his head right now, but none of those he thinks he knew seemed to be finding its way back.

And yet his memories were complete.

There were no gaps in time, and all the valuable information he thought was vital, he'd found as easy as counting one to three.

And yet, there was something missing.

He remembers.

Caia-chan.

He screamed for her, screamed for her more than he'd ever screamed for anything before. He loved her and his last memory of her had been her saying goodbye. The fucking woman had a tendency to self-sacrifice and Byakuran had already recognized it deep down that she had done another one of those.

Fuck it.

He could only fucking pray that she was alright.

A familiar redhead walked into the room, and stood by the hospital bed to which he had been tied to, like a common prisoner.

But his freedom was the least of his concerns.

"Where's Caia?"

The redhead's sad smile, only sank the fear into him further.

#####################

He had been in a coma for ten months.

Shoichi tells him that he had been out to the world for ten months, and that in the last ten months, the world had changed. He was only alive because Sawada Tsunayoshi had decided that killing him wasn't worth anything now, now that he no longer had his memories from the other parallel worlds.

Shoichi had tried to sound encouraging, telling him that that meant he was normal now and was pretty much allowed to have a normal life, but the small wavers in his voice told the albino that his former best friend was hiding things.

"Where is she?"

He asks again, and this time, Shoichi takes a deep breath.

"She's locked away, Byakuran."

"Why? Because she saved me?"

Shoichi smiled, nodding. "She took your memories from the other worlds. She took on and carried all that had been making you insane, Byakuran.

Byakuran feels his hope die.

#################

They locked her up in the Vendicare Prison.

Mukuro, Fran and Mammon had all helped to make the place better, creating an illusion of an endless room, with eternally blue skies.

She was sitting at the center of it all, laughing, crying and everything else, all by herself.

It had been Dino and Romario that volunteered to take Byakuran to see the Cavallone heiress.

Byakuran's heart broke at the sight.

Caia's eyes, once the brightest, most daring, bravest and colorful and stubborn – were now dead to the world around her.

The fear in them showed that she was reliving nightmare after nightmare, both awake and asleep.

And Byakuran could only give off his own insane laugh, because wtf was this?

How the fuck had they somehow ended up from playing snow in the large background of the world, into two questionably sane people whose fates had revolved around mass destruction?

But he remembers.

He remembers how she had walked and how she had stood beside his kneeling form, and how it had been the one thing that he'd been waiting for all those years.

He remembers how she tried to be brave, and remembers how she tried to smile, and how she finally gave him the strength to return to the point where he'd broken off.

And he comes closer and closer to the blonde girl whose eyes were masked in fear and doubt.

Whose eyes showed how tired she was.

Whose eyes had forgotten who she had been, and had lost all sight of all she could be.

He holds her hand, kisses her forehead. She freezes.

.

"I love you, Caia-chan."

Drops of tears fall from her eyes.

Slowly.

.

Fireworks.