CXLI.

Like what most people tend to say, hindsight is twenty-twenty, and in Setsu's case it was really no different.

Setsu. Who is Setsu?

… Okay, okay. She's over the whole identity crisis of Stella-versus-Setsu now –mostly. Stella Squalo is the young woman who once lived as Lady Squalo, strong and ruthless in a deadly way that soft, civilian Nakamura Setsuko will never be. But Setsu, Setsu is neither of them.

In truth, part of herself had subconsciously realized this a long time ago. She had always known, deep down. She had always known that, in the end, there was no real distinction between Setsuko and Stella, that they were one and the same. But it was not something her conscious mind had acknowledged, that her thinking mind could bring itself to fully acknowledge and accept the way it needed to.

She presumes that this would be the reason why the image that her mind reflected to her had been as such, a separate entity living within herself locked within the confines of her own mind. As a child of the Mist, her mind had only acted accordingly in response to her own beliefs.

… Because, really? The most dangerous illusions for a Mist user to dabble in are the ones that they themselves start believing in wholeheartedly. Those types of illusions are the most frightful, because then the illusionists themselves forget their true reality, and fall prey to the fake constructs that they created.

So in hindsight, it's blindingly clear that this is the very trap that Setsu nearly tumbled head-over-heels into.

CXLII.

She surmises that a significant portion of it is partly because of her circumstances, in which others had constantly conveyed to her the impression that Stella was powerful, steadfast, a pillar of strength and of grace –and so she came to think of 'Stella' as an existence that held everything that weak little Setsuko needed in order to survive in a war-torn world, to find the strength to fight and protect those precious to her. The image of the hazed silhouette within her mind then changed to reflect that, gaining the bulk of her control and influence over the Mist, taking on the mannerisms of what Setsu herself thought to be cold, ruthless, merciless.

But in reality, in that world of changing skies overlooking the star-filled lake –Stella never existed.

Stella. Never. Existed.

… Upon the starry lake of soft ripples and wind-light mists, there was no 'Stella.' Not originally. Not before she created one there.

(Mindscape, the mindscape reflects the illusionist's own mind, their own mental state of being; how they see and view themselves.)

Because in truth, Nakamura Setsuko herself had always been Stella Squalo, just… instead of a Stella who had been born with a terminal illness and confined to the sickbed, constantly threatened by death and danger on all sides and desperate enough to do anything to protect her beloved ones, things were different this time around. If Stella Squalo is the Stella who had been born into darkness, the night-heavy darkness that forged her into the lauded Lady Squalo who commanded truth and lies with the single flick of a fingertip, then Nakamura Setsuko is the Stella who was born into the glimmers of a soft, shimmering sunlight that allowed her to live the life of a simple civilian.

No sickness, no death, no danger.

A simple family, a simple life, a simple existence.

Before Setsu started remembering her previous life as Stella, she had been only but a simple little girl. A simple little girl who had been thoroughly, thoroughly terrified by the onslaught of memories that couldn't be hers –memories that her conscious, thinking mind refused to accept, even though part of her deep down had always known that the memories were her, that she was truly the cold-blooded woman who would fight and kill and accept any cost to protect the ones she loved, by any means necessary.

A fracture. This refusal to accept herself for who she was –it caused everything that her rational mind refused to accept as being herself to be cast aside to something that was deemed as 'other.' To what was deemed as vaguely 'not-Setsuko,' a shapeless, shadowy impression floating in the depths of her mind… one that later awakened in its own right after gaining a name of its own: Stella.

(Names have power.

She had always known that.)

The rational mind that declared itself to be Setsuko, that declared that she was a normal girl –any bizarre powers associated with the Mist or a strangely undisturbed attitude towards violence, even an aptitude for violence herself? Not her. Things like that were promptly declared not-Setsuko, and in hindsight, so much grief in her childhood could've been avoided had she been able to truly accept herself, to accept all facets of her character instead of fracturing it and breaking it like she had and even eventually allowing it to develop as a separate pseudo-Stella lurking insidiously in her mind.

Even Faust, Alfredo, Superbi… she loved them; those were the ones who had been and would always be precious to hear, so very dear to her heart. But upon learning that they were the ones Stella loved, she had almost completely disassociated herself from her love for them as well, thinking that only Stella would care for Faust, Alfredo, Superbi, while Setsu should care for Sousei, Yuuto, Tsuna–

What a monstrous Mist construct, nearly fooling her into believing that even upon its own destruction.

… But no one around her had understood her situation, and she herself had no way of knowing the danger of it, either. Unlocking the memories of a past life –she's still not sure how such a bizarre event managed to come about, but she thinks that maybe, maybe it had something to do with the strength of Stella's flames, of Stella's indomitable will.

She had been tenacious enough in her life as Stella to hold on to life through force of sheer willpower, after all, even with the death of her physical body. Or maybe… maybe something in the reincarnation process got messed up there –maybe only half of her soul moved on while the rest was forcibly, bull-headedly tethered down by Mist flames to a decaying body void of life. Who knows?

Vanquishing the Stella construct of her own making within her mind and being able to gather the fractured pieces of herself back together, finally being able to quietly reflect on it now that there is no threat of impending doom looming over her head… there are a lot of things clear to her now that were ever so murky before, and Setsu firmly carves a grave lesson learnt from this entire mess of an ordeal into her mind:

As an illusionist, never lose sight of reality. Of truth.

She can now realize the paramount importance of always being able to stay clear-minded and capable of objectively looking at things. Not necessarily staying wholly immune to the influence of emotions, but definitely not allowing emotions to cloud your judgment and impair good sense, either. That was precisely what had happened to her when the memories first came and she panicked, life as a civilian automatically making her reject the underworld's ways, and create the beginnings of a construct in her mind that would come to encompass anything that she couldn't accept about herself.

(That was what had happened to Yuuto, too, losing himself to rage and grief and hatred in wake of his beloved's death.)

Once you cannot see the truth about yourself, once you are lost… living in a web of lies, sinking deeper and deeper and deeper still, until the deceit birthed from the recesses of your own mind come to life and consume you…

It had been a close call, nearly dying at the hands of the 'Stella' she unknowingly created in her mind, a construct that she created in little bits and pieces in a gradual, gradual process that nearly came to kill her in the end. A construct that did indeed consume her, that killed her in the disastrous future ten years later –a future that would thankfully never come to be.

Now that she is aware, though, aware and alive and whole in a way she had never quite been before as Nakamura Setsuko –as Stella-Squalo-turned-Nakamura-Setsuko– well.

She closes her eyes and sucks in a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling and feeling all the tension drain away from her body.

For once, she feels at peace with herself and who she is, and what it means for her future.

CXLIII.

"Setsu!"

"Onii-chan!"

When Sousei barrels out of his room and gathers his little sister up in a crushing hug, all he can feel is the overwhelming sense of relief, compounded all the more by the panic and terror from the mountain-load of memories dumped into his mind, of an apocalyptic future that ruined them all.

"Setsu," he breathes, and his voice wheezes and catches in his throat. And, quite suddenly, he is struck by the urge to cry. "Oh my god. When Shouichi told me to give you that ring and send you off to Lambo, I didn't know –I had no idea… I never… I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. If I had any idea of what this all really was, I would never–"

"It's okay, onii-chan." And isn't it ironic, that the little sister he should be comforting is reaching up and patting him on the back soothingly, as if such a simple gesture would magically make everything better? "Everything turned out alright in the end, didn't it? Don't fret so much over it; everything is done now. We won, didn't we?"

"That's not what matters!" He exclaims, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling back. "Setsu, this entire plan was flimsy at best and downright suicidal at worst! You could've died! Heck, all of you could've died! … I can't believe my future self went along with Shouichi's plans; when I get my hands on him I'll–"

"Onii-chan," there's something faintly exasperated in Setsu's voice now, and the little girl smiles. "I'm… really, really happy that you're so concerned for me like this. But instead of focusing on all the ways that this venture could've gone wrong, can't you think of how things managed to work out as well as they did in the end?"

The older boy squints at her. "… Why are you so unconcerned about the fact that I helped send you into a future where you almost died multiple times?"

"Because I didn't," Setsu laughs, the light laughter of soft bells tinkling in the silver wind. "Because I didn't die, and even for all the fear and pain of the future, at least I've finally managed to find myself again."

"… What?"

Sousei peers closely at his little sister. She's still smiling, and it's not one of those sad, troubled smiles that he's grown used to seeing over the years, ever since those Stella-nightmares of hers started and Setsu started wavering between identities. It's… disconcerting to think of his little sister who used to run to him for affectionate hugs being the incarnation of a ruthless Mafioso, and doubly so when it's like this, when she's smiling and laughing in front of his eyes and there is no sign of callous coldness nor killing intent in sight.

He knows, though.

Nakamura Setsuko, once Stella Squalo.

And, knowing Stella Squalo from when the woman had taken over the last vestiges of Setsuko's conscience, Sousei truly feared, just like his future self did, for his precious little sister. For the existence that she once was, and still lurked somewhere within the recesses of her mind–

I've finally managed to find myself again.

… Maybe he's looking too much into innocent words, though?

Setsu smiles an enigmatic little smile, a smile that is entirely un-Setsuko but not quite cold like the Stella in his memories of the future, and Sousei finds himself relaxing, just a little.

Because in the end, she's right –they're all still alive, and for what it's worth, maybe being alive and able to laugh together again like this is enough.

Sousei has had more than enough of worrying about a non-existent future.

Now that he has found Setsu, though… where's Yuuto?

(That kid had suffered through so much in this hellish future, and knowing the hoops that Yuuto's mind tended to jump through, if his little brother had received memories of that disastrous future just like Sousei himself did… he needed to find him. He needed to find the kid and let him know that it wasn't his fault, that he didn't need to blame himself for anything.

Because, in the end… Yuuto was only another victim to the tragedy of the war they fought and ended.)

CXLIV.

A pair of feet pound hard against the cold pavement ground, and trees blur past in a blaze of green. Breaths short and harsh, only coming in sharp gasps, quick intakes of breath –but Yuuto is a dab hand at baseball and his stamina isn't anything to scoff at or dismiss out of hand.

He continues the long strides down the street, a swift run that may as well be an outright sprint, and still he feels that it isn't fast enough. With every passing moment there is something curled in his chest that burns.

Sousei.

Setsuko.

Tsuna.

(Eleanor.)

… Oh gods, oh gods, the memories of this future –this future! It can't– he doesn't–!

His fist curls tighter around the glimmering ring that had appeared in the middle of his palm when the onslaught of future-memories accosted him in the middle of nowhere, and it feels so heavy that it might as well bear the weight of the entire world.

Mist Guardian. What was it that they had said to him, when offering him the position?

The Mist, hiding behind illusions and protecting the family through deception of the enemies, seemingly intangible but nonetheless present under the Sky… you have the potential to become an excellent illusionist, Nakamura Yuuto.

Protecting the family through deception of the enemies? Betraying the family and trying to kill them alongside the enemies sounded more like it. It didn't matter that he could clearly follow his future-self's thought process, of the sheer pain he'd felt when Eleanor died at Stella's hands, because–

Because even if that was the core reason, it was still no excuse. He was not the only one who'd experienced loss in the war; there were many others who had experienced loss even greater than his own. Yet he was the only one who went on to sign over his soul to Byakuran the way he had, surrendering to his own weakness and hate. What did that say about him, then? That for a woman he would betray his friends and family, make a deal with the devil to murder his own sister in cold blood, the same sister who he'd come to fear because of her own ruthlessness–

"I love you, Yuuto," Eleanor whispers, looking up at him with blood-flecked lips and glowing, golden eyes, her hair fanned out around her like the halo of an angel. "I'm… so sorry. But I've always… always, loved you."

"Love you… Yuu… to…"

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuck.

He can't do this. He can't do this. He can't take this, he isn't–

…

When he finally barges through the doors of the Sawada residence, breathing heavily and doing his damndest to ignore the way Yamamoto tenses and Gokudera automatically whips out the sticks of dynamite in his hands, it is almost with a crushing sense of relief that he spots Tsuna sitting in the center of the room, wide-eyed and surprised and a little bewildered, but alive and whole.

Not dead. Not dead, not from an assassination whose plans I helped engineer. Oh gods–

"Yuuto?!"

"Juudaime, stay back–"

"I," Yuuto starts, and breaks off into a series of wheezes from his seizing lungs. Fuck. Fuck. "I'm… I'm not…"

From the back of the room, Reborn raises his head and looks directly at him with unreadable eyes. A chill runs down the back of Yuuto's spine, but he forces himself to stand firm, breaths slowly calming as he straightens and slowly raises his hand until it is directly in front of his chest, outstretched towards Tsuna.

"… Yuuto?"

Eyes downcast towards the ground, because he does not want to see any of their reactions –Yuuto forces the words out from his throat, because these are words that cannot be avoided, that must be said.

"Take it back, Tsuna." He smiles, a bitter twist to the curl of his lips. "I don't deserve to be your Mist Guardian."

CXLV.

"Nono, sir? We've received an interesting report regarding 'ten years into the future' that's been labeled as highly important…"

"Send it to me as soon as possible, then."

"Yes, sir."

CXLVI.

"Eh? Shouichi went overseas on an exchange program last week?"

"C'mon, onii-chan," Setsu tugged gently at Sousei's sleeve, smiling lightly at the older boy's half-disbelieving, half-indignant expression in front of Shouichi's sister. "If Shouichi isn't at home, then he's not at home. Let's hurry up and try to find Yuuto, alright?"

She couldn't help but wonder if Shouichi had the foresight to hightail it out of Namimori as soon as he could, if only to escape the bulk of the ire from time-travelers that would inevitably turn towards him if he made himself visible. He probably did, the clever young man.

The exchange program was probably real, too.

… Poor Sousei. He would be in for quite the wait if he was really adamant about finding Shouichi for a talk.

CXLVII.

"EXTREEEEEEME!"

The month of relative quiet and peacefulness that Namimori lapsed into was abruptly shattered the very next morning. Some shuddered at the return to chaos that this no doubt heralded, but for others–

For others, it was a good thing that things were finally returning to normal.

CXLVIII.

"To Namimori?"

"Yes. The Vongola Decimo and all his little Guardians reside there. I've heard rumors –they will finally be making the title official, and you know what that means."

"Of course I do."

"Yup. So, off to Namimori for all of us! Aren't you excited, Enma? A little scared, maybe? This is Vongola that we're gearing up to go against, after all."

"No."

"… Ahaha, liar. I can see your hand shaking."

"That's not from fear."

"Then what? Anticipation?"

"…"

"… Hey, hey! Don't just walk away like that! You can't just leave me hanging here like this! En– ma–!"

CXLIX.

"Eh? You couldn't find Yuuto?"

"Shhh," Sousei presses a finger to his lips, narrowing his eyes. "I told Mom and Dad that he went for a sleepover at Tsuna's place yesterday, but that excuse isn't going to hold up forever."

"He wasn't there when we went by the Sawada residence yesterday," Setsu frowned thoughtfully. "… Maybe we should swing by again and check? We should probably ask them about it instead of just hurrying past, maybe they saw Yuuto and know where he went."

"Yeah, let's do that, then." Sousei shook his head, "I swear, you guys are the hardest little siblings in the world to look after!"

Setsu stuck out her tongue childishly at him, and laughed.

"… So, how was school today?" Sousei's gaze cut across to the large canvas that the girl was all but dragging behind her, gently reaching out to pick it up for her. "This one of your master– pie… ces…?"

It was completely blank. But… not the type of blank canvas that was empty and waiting for brush strokes to fill its surface; this canvas was blank, but the thickness on its surface signified that there were many other layers of paint underneath, and that everything had only been covered up by white paint.

"It used to have a lake in it," Setsu informed him. "A lake, stars, mist, and a person standing in the middle. I got rid of it, though."

"… Sounds like that would've been a lot of work to paint. Why throw it all away?"

"Because instead of focusing on things that are fake all the time, I want to paint something real," the girl shrugged. "Sensei was pretty upset that I 'ruined' all the effort I spent making this, though, and told me to get it out of the classroom if I was never going to make up my mind on what to do with it."

"Uh-huh. So what do you plan to paint next, then?"

"Hm. I think…"

A skip, a pause, the image of a little girl walking down the street next to her brother, under the dappled shade of the trees lining the sidewalk at the sides.

"I think I want to draw a butterfly."

CL.

("What do you mean, Inheritance Ceremony?")

.

…

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Edit 08/08/16: Fixed a few minor mistakes in the text here and there, but I probably didn't catch all of them. Also, went back and edited some things in the Setsu-Stella showdown of Ch 12 so it aligns a little more with the theory here of why Stella existed as a separate entity in Setsu's mindscape when Setsu is Stella reborn.

Just putting in a note of that here. :)

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Author's Notes:

Practically a year since the last update. I apologize.

Pretty much just… kinda lost the will to continue on with Canopus here. Re-read Polaris a couple of days ago, though, so that re-ignited the muse for this chapter, at least. School is starting up again soon so I can't say anything for future updates. I'm pretty unreliable when it comes to predicting my own writing progress anyways, though, so it's a bit of a moot point to type too much about that here.

So, re-reading the entirety of Canopus as well –I think the explanation I gave in the first few sections at the top of this chapter is basically the essence of what I want to show with Stella-reincarnating-as-Setsu: Stella receiving a clean start, rather than a separate, normal girl receiving Stella's soul attached to her own (which was what the story kinda ended up progressing into before).

Please forget everything I typed in the earlier chapters about the mindscape-Stella being the real Stella from Polaris. In hindsight, that's really, really not what I wanted to go for.

So, the Stella portrayed in Setsu's mindscape throughout the previous chapters of the story? I'm going along with the explanation that it's just an image built on what Setsu thinks Stella is like, and hence transfers the bulk of her Mist powers to because of that belief. Disassociation, not quite accepting her previous existence as Stella, and thus creating an existence within her own mind that she calls 'Stella' to keep from going insane in her younger years. She nearly ends up dying from it anyways when the Stella-construct she created almost succeeds in taking over.

Remember that thing about Stella-construct's silhouette being hazy at first? Setsu didn't know what she was dreaming about, and even though deep down she knew that the cold-blooded creature was her, her civilian life with a civilian mindset couldn't accept that, so it automatically tried to push off those memories as the actions of an entirely different entity rather than embracing and accepting her nature.

(… Actually, I'm pretty sure I didn't entirely know what I was doing while first typing up those chapters with real!Stella clashing against real!Setsu, but things make more sense this way, I think. Meh.)

Still wrapping up some stuff from the Future arc here, but we're also moving along into the Shimon arc now. To be honest, the Shimon arc is my least favorite arc in KHR, mostly because it seems like there was no real reason behind the Shimon famiglia appearing out of thin air (and them being the only people with Earth flames in the entire verse, just, wtf?), but I kinda want to touch on Daemon a little, so. Here we go again.

QUESTION(1): Any thoughts on whether Yuuto should stay the Mist Guardian or not? Feel free to include your reasoning or thoughts, if you'd like. I'm actually pretty undecided on this right now, so your input would be warmly welcomed and taken into heavy consideration.

QUESTION(2): Bit of a silly idea here, but… for those of you who've happened to read OTD before, what do you think of seeing an extra here in which Setsu encounters Tsubaki? :D

Review are love! Comments and feedback are appreciated and will be treasured forever. Pointing out any errors in the text here would be great as well, since I'm sure I have a boatload of errors mixed in here.

Till next time (hopefully not an entire year later!),

XxZuiliu