Author has written 4 stories for Naruto, Soul Eater, Bleach, and Twilight. I have had the username GrimmNel36, xXxNejiGaaxXx, and YamiYugiLuv and I change it every time I get a new pairing I like Favorite Books Percy Jackson and the Olympians Heroes of Olympus The Kane Chronicles Twilight Vampire Kisses Favorite Anime Fullmetal Alchemist Naruto Shippuden Bleach Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's Yu-Gi-Oh Dragonball Z Yu-Gi-Oh GX Dragonball Dragonball GT Black Blood Brothers Deathnote Digimon Adventure Kamisama Kiss K Project Fariy Tail Naruto Favorite Pairing * - ones I read regularly Yu-Gi-Oh -Bakushipping (Bakura x Ryou Bakura x Thief King Bakura [Akefia])* 5D's -Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo)* GX -Rivalshipping GII (Chazz Princeton x Jaden Yuki) Dragonball, Z, GT -M. Trunks x Pan* Naruto -All Cannon Parings (Except SasuSaku) Bleach THERE ARE TO MANY TOO COUNT My OC's Name: Age: Height: Role: Info: Appears in: Name: Age: Height: Role: Info: Appears in: Name: Age: Height: Role: Info: Appears in: -R- I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter (or Percy Jackson), who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things. This is my life in a nutshell. And i am oh so Proud of it! :P -R- Month one Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this -R- Controversial Issues: 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage My thoughts on this Gay marriages will only encourage people that are gay to feel that it’s ok to feel that way because it is, if heard people tell me or I’ve read that "Love is love no matter the race, color, or gender, its ok to be different" It is not crazy behavior if it is consensual and they love each other, and it will only make other hiding gays feel like it’s alright to have this feeling Strait marriages have been around a long time, women are still the men’s property, although blacks can marry white is still not approved of, divorce is legal now but I still think it’s wrong to split a family apart, believe me I’ve had a few close calls with my parents Who F*ing Cares if they were not meaningful, I do love my family but it’s true Yes strait couples are able to reproduce, but parings with an infertile half can't have children so the adopt for the system or orphanage, old people shouldn't have many kids but every old person wants grandchildren, gay couples; when they adopt children they can give them the love and affection they need more than a strait couple can Here is a BIG point in a gay family where one of their children are STRAIT they DON'T get mad and kick their kids out, in a strait family when one of their kids are GAY they BLOW up and throw that kid to the streets I HAPPEN TO BE BI-SEXUAL, MY SIS IS LESBIAN, MY BRO IS STAIT, AND WE ALL HAPPEN TO HAVE STRAIT PARENTS -R- If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you ever run into a pole, copy this into your profile. If you ever drool in your sleep, copy this into your profile. If you've ever forgotten something in the last 30 seconds, copy this into your profile. If you're a Yaoi fangirls and proud of it then copy this to your profile. If you are starting to like darkness more than light, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're obsessed with Puzzleshipping, copy and paste this onto you profile. If you love Yu-Gi-Oh so much, copy this to your profile/signature. If you spend at least 3 hours a day looking at fanfictions...writing fanfictions...or looking at others profiles than copy and paste this on your profile. If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile -R- This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this! -R- AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost. PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost. ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost. TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind. Gorgeous Smile. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost. VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost -R- A NARUTO QUIZ 1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Konaha 12, Sand Siblings, All the Kages, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Konan, Yahiko (Deva Path Pein), Minato and Kushina, Gai, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Jiraiya, and a couple more but can’t remember them all 2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? (I have alot of different pairings for the same people, Bold is the main pairings I ship) ShikaTema, NejiTen, NaruHina, KakaIru, SasuNaru, ShinoHana, KibaShino, NejiGaa, KisaIta, ItaDei, SasoDei, HidaDei, ZabuHaku, SaiSaku, KankuSaku, KibaSaku, GaaSaku, AsuKure, KibaIno, InoCho, ShikaShino (Parents of Shikamaru), JiraiTsuna, MinaKushi, TobiRin, YahiKona, SuiKarin, KakaAnko 3. Are you a Naruto yaoi, yuri or hentai fan? Yaoi and Yuri. I can’t stand most Hentai fics unless it’s SakuAka or some SakuMulti’s 4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? Never in my life and NEVER will, jeez, I’m not that obsessed... 5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: T-shirt and a Gaara Kanji necklace 6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Nagato/Pein, Itachi, or Gaara 7. NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina 8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Totally SASUNARU!!!! 9. Which team is your favorite? Sand Siblings 10. Do you support the Tobito theory? (Toby=Obito) YES it proves it in the anime 11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? YES they totally LOOK alike 12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Etheir Pein, Itachi, Sasori, or Deidara. Can’t decide between them THREE but if I had to pick one it would totally be DEIDARA 13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Anti because I never really liked him 14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? No... I never really finished the original after Sasuke left. But other than that yes. 15. Have you read all the chapters so far? Never read any of the Manga 16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? DUH!! You have to blind to NOT figure that out. 17. Sub or dub? Most Defiantly Sub 18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Depends 19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Annoying And Funny depending on which aspect he is 20. Do you even know who Tobi is? YES!!! Obito Uchiha!! :) 21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? Ugly beast!! Haha, it's true. Along with Lee 22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? Haku seeing as he always gets taken for a girl any way and in the original series when Naruto first meets him he is in a female yukata and Naruto thinks he is a she. Also Deidara because let’s face it that man is too feminine for his own good. 23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? WEIRD!!! 24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? TOTALLY Gaara he is absolutely ADORABLE when he OOC in Fanfictions 25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? UH...DUH!! 26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? Yes I have one and am writing a crossover now 27. Do you like lemons? Most DEFENATILY 28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? MOST DEFENTLY NOT 29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No the only abridged I really watch is DBZA 30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? No 31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? Yes, kind of. 32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? Yes I drew Shikamaru 33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' No I don’t go to school 34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? NO!! 36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? TOTALLY!!! 37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? No 38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery? Three: a six year old Gaara, Shikamaru during the chuunin exams (Original), and Kakashi - Shadow of ANBU 39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? YES … but don’t tell anyone 40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Yes three 41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? YES, yes TOTALLY -R- Another NARUTO Quiz 1. Gaara 1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? (Itachi/Asuma)- NO!!!!!!! 2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? (Neji)- YES he is TOTALLY HOT!!! 3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant? (Sasori/Minato)- WHOA Fear the RED HOT HABENARO 4) Do you recall any fics about nine? (Ino)- Yes 5) Would two and six make a good couple? (Deidara/Itachi)- Yes TOTALLY 6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? (Kiba/Ino) (Kiba/Kakashi)- Five and Nine 7) What would happen if seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? (Kankuro) (Deidara/Sasori)- He and his puppets will die!! 8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. (Shikamaru/Kakashi)- Shikamaru is having trouble with Temari and asks Kakashi for advice and he suggests that Shikamaru read Icha Icha Paradise Make out Tactics and then EVERTHING goes wrong Rated M (I am REALLY considering writing this with my 20 year old BROTHER as a co-writer and Editor) 9) Is there any such thing as a one/eight fluff? (Gaara/Minato)- Hope not. Maybe with Naruto 10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. (Kankuro/Sasori)- "Not What You Think it IS" 11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower one? (Neji/Gaara)- Temari Catches them and all she asks is "Who's top's" 12) Does anyone on your Facebook friends list read Three yet? (Shikamaru)- Yes. 13) Does anyone on your Facebook friends list write or draw eleven? (Asuma)- I have NO idea 14) Would anyone on your Facebook friends list write Two/Four/Five? (Deidara/Neji/Kiba)- NO!!!!!!!! 15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? (Kakashi)- "Yes you hit the right spot IRUKA!!!" 16) If you wrote a song-fic about eight, what song would you choose? (Minato)- Um, maybe 'Sexting by BOTDF' SCREAMS him and KUSHINA in bed 17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? (Gaara/Itachi/Sasori)- WARNING! Two Sadistic MORONS and Psychotic Teenager in Bed Total bad thing 18) What might be a good pick-up line for ten to use on two? (Kakashi/Deidara)- "Explosions huh, I know something you can blow up" 19) How might eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? (Asuma-Deidara/Minato)- Deidara Would rather be in bed with Naruto AND they are BOTH UKE!!!! 20) How emo is Seven? (Kankuro)-None. -R- Naruto Characters I would: 01. Bake cupcakes for: Shikamaru -R- List your top twelve favorite Bleach characters. 1. Gin Ichitaro Could 11/6 work out? Uryu x Grimmjow … ano (um) that would be weird … so iie (no) 5/8 or 5/2? Byakuya x Orihime or Byakuya x Ulquiorra I would have to go with Byakuya x Orihime. Who would be dominant in bed? 12/7. OR, if it's a malexfemale couple, who would 'wear the pants' in the relationship? Karin and Nelliel. I would have to say Karin since Nelliel is a little childish most of the time. Why is 3 one of your favorite characters? Cause she drinks sake all the time and she has big boobs If one of them had to get killed, who would you choose? 9 or 10? Rukia or Ichigo. I would have to say strawberry-chan because I would see him dying in Rukia’s place. How would 1 react if he walked in on 3 and 4? Gin walking in on Rangiku and Toshiro. Hmmm I would have to say that he world kick shorty’s ass and then make out with Giku to prove his point. What would a summary be for a 10/2 fanfic Ichigo and Karin. Karin is having trouble getting Toshiro to notice her so she enlists her brother’s help. HitsuKarin IchiRuki. What would be a song that describes 7/9? Nelliel and Rukia. Ano Whenever, Wherever? Just the first song that came to mind. What would 3 say to 1 to get 1 to sleep with her? Rangiku and Gin. “Gin~ Please~” Who would win in a battle, 12 or 5? Byakuya and Karin. Byakuya, just because of his bankai’s (Senbonzakura Kageyoshi and Senkei Senbonzakura Kageyoshi) How would 8 react if 11 died? I don’t know how Rukia would react if Uryu died seeing as Uryu doesn’t particularly like Shinigami Out of these characters, who's the best pairing? HitsuKarin -R- Life Movie Soundtrack Put your Ipod on Shuffle and find out what your soundtrack would be if your life was a movie Opening credits: My Humps – Black Eyed Peas -R- FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. FRIENDS: Will help you move. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. -R- DRAGON BALL PACT: "This pact is meant to hold together the remaining fans of Dragon Ball/z/gt. Whether you like the FUNimation dub or the Ocean dub, whether you like the magna or the anime, whether you say 'saiyan' or 'saiyajin', we must stand strong and united, for we are the last of our dying race. And all, those who are true fans, post this up on your page, forever proclaiming your Dragonball heritage. Be proud, for you are- A TRUE SAIYAN!!! ;) -R- The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy Jackson whenever I'm at sea Now I will swear on the River Styx! You say vampires, I say SAIYANS!!! I'm actually a really big Yaoi fan for Dragonball, but anyway I do still support all cannon pairings -R- Anime Bond: You say English, we say Japanese Re-post if you're a Otaku and proud -R- Normal People vs. Yu-Gi-Oh Fans Normal People: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast. Normal People: Say "Oh my God! (OMG!)" Normal People: Say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!" Normal People: Think bad guys are very ugly. Normal People: When being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!" Normal People: Get nervous or scared during thunderstorms. Normal People: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation. Normal People: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them. Normal People: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles. Normal People: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game. Normal People: Solve their problems by suing each other. Normal People: Don't believe in real magic. Normal People: Don't believe in the apocalypse. Normal people: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game Normal people: Would never go to an orphanage Normal people: Think Egypt is stupid Normal people: Would never buy to expensive thing because they might become out of money. Normal people: Think little people are stupid. PASS IT ON PEOPLE! -R- 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" -R- You say Edward, I say Duke -R- |