Loving the story so far. I can see where your writing style has changed, so if you are unhappy with the way the chapters are I'd say rewrite them. But if you don't want to, they flow well enough to not be an issue. Also, I hope your visit to your optometrist helped! I have horrible vision myself, so I know trying to set a screen clearly without proper lenses is very painful. I do hope all of your irl things are going well. Eagerly awaiting the continuation of your stories! -Karaku

The author must NEVER start "the hero's journey".. with the hero.. The author must start at the END and work backwards... Chapter 1 should be the FINAL chapter in your head.

They all "cave in"... You built "good walls", but "crap foundation"... Good stories and I think you should stick with it, but a LOT of "reinforcing" needs done (same with the canon)... You have to go back and fix chapters 1-2 and etc.. .Before you can bear the "weight" of a longer story... Most naruto stories DO crumble after a certain point.. Simply because the foundation of the story is on such SHAKY GROUND... It does improve LATER.. But it does nothing to address the beginnings... Take this story for example, you have tsunade come back, naruto is revealed... LAY DEE DAH... THEN WHAT?... Naruto just FORGIVES everybody?... Not realistic... He doesn't? And now he hates everyone?... Too cliche... How does the DIYAMO forgive everybody? (that REALLY WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE)... How does the diyamo forgive basically a declaration of war? How do the other villages see it?.. Do they wanna sign up with orochi? Or basically "wolf pack" his village for breaching the peace they've spent DECADES protecting?... Did orochi just make himself an outcast to the ENTIRE WORLD?... (he failed in his invasion, the ninja world DOES NOT forgive FAILURE)... Shouldn't the akutski be even MORE terrified to move NOW, with every village on "defcon 1"? How does the leaf "recover" from everything? What needs to be changed? They can see quite GLARING holes and rats.. DO they just execute them? Do they lock them away? OR WORSE?... The village can see the world is at the point of war now, do they ignore it? Do they prepare? All these issues gotta go hand in hand when creating a story...

Oh I agree with your a/n on jiraiya, he's a COMPLETE AND TOTAL INCOMPETENT... You forgot some of his most NOTICEABLE fuck-ups... "He didn't know konoha was being invaded"... How does THAT get missed if he's supposed to be looking out of the village's interests? He didn't notice the kazekage got murdered and replaced... (how does a supposed "spy master" miss when a WORLD LEADER is killed?) and somehow nageto(his previous student) set himself up as GOD of an entire country, but he never knew it? Not to mention he never found ANY of orochimaru's bases (despite the fact that SOMEHOW orochi became a kage and founded a new village, again, that he didn't know), missed all of danzo's dirty dealing (despite the fact they have "ROOT" printed on all their foreheads!), missed the attempted kidnapping of a hyuuga (despite that it would lead to war), missed the mizukage's sudden behavior shift, and oh yeah, knows apparently NOTHING (bases, identities, numbers, resources, goals) of the akutski he's SUPPOSED to know about! ALL in all, he's not much of a "spy".. In fact in most stories, that whole excuse just doesn't fly... He SUCKS at his "job"... A monkey summon would do better... I agree, he doesn't need in the story AT ALL (naruto could have learned the rasengan *essentially the ONLY thing jiraiya taught him* from a scroll!)

Seriously he's had OVER A DECADE outside the village (and he hasn't even mastered "sage-mode"... How long can a person JACK OFF and write porn? It's stupid). Tusnade is another one that I have utter contempt for... She lost everyone? YEAH that kinda happens when your entire family is a merc! But then she's presented with naruto... THE LAST MEMBER of her family (that's ever gonna be) and she proceeds to want to have a fight? How does this make sense? And she DIDN'T guess orochimaru was gonna use a MESSED UP jutsu to bring her dead back to life? (seriously? She knew him all her life and besides... It's bringing the DEAD BACK TO LIFE... Wasn't it her grand-uncle's jutsu anyway? So shouldn't she already know it?).. The second hokage created it right? That was hirashima's brother... Which she's hirashima's grand-daughter.. So she'd already know the jutsu (and have been able to use it)... So basically orochimaru never offered anything NEW to her... I honestly don't know why he didn't summon dan and nawaki to FIGHT her when she went against him.

Why not just give naruto, ranmaru's eyes? I mean it's an established doujin and it was only used for filler.. So why NOT?

How would danzo have "extra" sharringans? that doesn't even make sense.. and "replacements" for what? Other then sasuke there were NO other users (supposedly)... and it's supposed to be difficult if not impossible, not like switching in batteries... NONE of this chapter makes sense... Sasuke was BLINDED, meaning his eyes are GONE, no use to itachi, Itaichi's is no use to him and that whole link is GONE... (any way it COULD be brought back, doesn't matter, the uchiha FAILED)... Sasuke crapped all over their families' "honor".

Boo, itachi back and suddenly kyuubi is okay with this? BOO... Also why did naruto's team need help killing dederia? He's stupidly weak! Especially with arrows! Just give hinata an "arrow volley" jutsu, or "tracking arrow", Or an arrow power that shoots right through his "birds" and him! Not to mention the "chains", doujutsu, supposed "arsenal" of jutsu (twice over now btw: since the hidden scrolls of uzumaki and the library of uzumaki) that naruto's supposed to have.

Doesn't danzo's idiotic "dream" seem not only really, really stupid at this point, but also absolutely, completely impossible? Not only does he way too many years on him, he's got nearly the hate of the entire village on him and minato is back, (and is back to being worshiped), so is kushina both in their prime (and uzumakis live hundreds of years) plus has tsunade coming back... I think his dream has been pretty much reduced beyond "suspension of disbelief" into "totally unreasonable". That's three people before you even get to naruto, that will all take the hat way before him (and his clock is about out of time). To be honest, even "palling" up with the uchiha at this point, after everything was revealed is even more "political suicide".

Also as been stated several times in stories about where naruto first meets the akutski... Naruto is pretty much worthless to the group at this point in the story, the kyuubi has to added last, (no exceptions) so going after naruto when they don't have a single one? Kinda stupid on their part. (although it was kinda idiotic to send itachi and kisame in canon so early too)

What the hell why is everybody suddenly "buddy buddy" with itachi? Kimeko hates ALL uchiha.. AND SO DO I! Just get rid of the bastards... They are not needed.

Um the ANBU not protecting him, wasn't just "fear", (actually none of it was) but theirs really wasn't... They should have known better, not to mention they'd have known what would happen if naruto was too hurt or killed, they were kinda actively trying to destroy the village. That's not just time for pranks, that's time to get rid of those ANBU. If minato has been going over the state of affairs in the village then he knows that far more then the "hospital is deplorable". the "academy is deplorable", the "library is deplorable", the "chain of command is near-nonexistent", the "security is deplorable" I mean holy crap, he should have found so much wrong that it should make the village look near gone from a military standpoint.

So with the tsunade thing, you say the third was "lenient enough"?... "lenient" is the word you choose to use huh? I think he was "derelict" in just about every possible way he could be! "spineless" is another word that comes to mind real fast.

Actually, if you wanna get technical about it, all of kakashi's gennin have already passed him by... They killed orochimaru, whom kakashi couldn't even fight... Also Naruto pretty much effortlessly killed kabuto, whom was supposed to equal kakashi in power and battle ability... Soooo... That means they've already pretty much hit at least anbu level.

So naruto "sees through reflective surfaces"? Or he "sees out of reflective surfaces"? I'm confused. And he's already got kage or (quite literally) bijuu level reserves already, taking them higher is kinda pointless isn't it? I mean kyuubi's chakra is supposed to be inside him! (which is essentially infinite, you don't get any higher then that... Even if he "only" has a tail or two under his direct control right now, that's still more then enough to destroy an entire village in one move and more then any akutski!).. These chapters always confused me (during/after the exams).. The kid is essentially never going to get any more "power-ups" for the rest of the two series... And at this point all your doing is putting "limiters" on, that the anime/manga took off for those "non-sense reasons" at random times, plus your trying to define/limit stuff that wasn't defined and seemed to fluctuate constantly in canon.

I'm kinda wondering about that whole "making some jonin scoff at the idea she was stronger than the Uchiha", at this point EVERYONE has shown they have ALL gotten stronger then the uchiha, add in the fact that ebisu announced quite loudly that the uchiha "was not ready" for the exams, multiple times, in front of all the jonin. And the uchiha not only lost his fight fairly quickly but also lost his eyes! Nobody should really think that way anymore about him, if nothing else then they should think he's the "screw-up of the family".

Well, it's NOT madara, and 2.. Yes obitedo and even madara have some VERY exploitable weaknesses.. It's the EXACT same as it is for ALL uchiha, and for orochimaru... Their ego and their temper... Very large weaknesses that seems to be the same for ALL villains. And he actually DID meet his match in battle (the first hokage, duh). It's quite embarrassing really, that all the akutski, all the uchiha, danzo, orochimaru AND every elder in the story, have the exact same weaknesses.

No I thought the fight was believable, maybe naruto and gang not really DOING much (I mean they are supposed to have arsenals and sealing and everything else) but it was cool... I liked that you got rid of orochimaru all the other authors seem REALLY reluctant to kill off ANY villains until like the last chapter or two and I hate that. As for naruto being able to use his sword on the edo? Yes, I absolutely believe he'd have been able to do so. If nothing else then just the time that orochi was jacking his jaws about how great he is, for being able to use the jutsu. (that ego problem). Orochi and every other bad guy has a really horrible time with keeping their yaps shut and thus it should give the heroes enough time to do whatever they want.

Shouldn't it be kabuto's time to "meet the reaper" now in the forest?

You know EVENTUALLY you have to start KILLING OFF the villains (seems to be something a LOT of authors on here are LOATHE to do for some bizarre reason). And why didn't they just stop orochi? I mean they didn't have a problem doing it too haku... In fact I think the "hand-seals" are about the dumbest thing about the whole series. Why does ANYONE let anyone else complete any? Also why don't they just cut off the people's hands?

Actually why not just give sasuke to orochimaru? Nobody gives a crap, if they don't want orochi getting the sharringan? Easy, wait until he marks sasuke and then kill him. (sasuke I mean)... See? Simple.

Yeah I always wondered how in the heck Anko OF ALL PEOPLE, couldn't tell that was orochimaru, he's the ONLY one that uses that silly tongue-jutsu-thing in all the elemental nations. (him being a genius?.. No I don't see it... Him being good at stealth? AGAIN, no not really... Tactics? Not particularly.)