For anybody who cares to know, I'm a 22 year old woman who is completely obsessed with reading. And I like coming up with stories almost as much. Usually I keep my stories in my head, but I thought writing them down as fan-fiction would be good practice for when I become a best-selling author, so constructive criticism and writing tips would be much appreciated! :)

FAVORITE FAN FICTION QUOTES:

"Even though you have all the experience of a rock that was dropped on it's head as a baby. I adore you." Utterly.

- Uprooted

"Or else what? It is illegal to geld your Kage, you know."

It should be noted, that Sarutobi Hiruzen was a brave man. He had fought in two Great Ninja Wars, he was knows as the God of Shinobi. If chips ever went down he would readily sacrifice his life for the best of his village.

"But, as the Head Iryo-nin of Konoha Hospital, I can override you in medical matters. I will declare you unfit for duty, make you eat hospital food until Naruto-kun comes back, make you attend therapy where you will have to keep daily diary of your innermost feelings and play with a pink, squishy ball and wear green paper gown the whole time, carry out painful rectal examinations on you, let my interns use you as a practice dummy when they first lean acupuncture, confiscate all contraband literature and the new, experimental medication just might have the unfortunate side effect of erectile dysfunction."

But no one is quite that brave.

- Uprooted

Hidan of Akatsuki had absolutely no moral restraints regarding the people he killed; slaughter was his religious calling and he took pleasure in making his opponents' deaths as painful as possible. Sai was among the lower-level fighters here and already badly wounded. Yet the best he could muster was annoyance.

Then Naruto opened his mouth.

"Hey, aren't you the guy with the evil bunny god?"

- Uprooted

"How awful for me" the Hyūga deadpanned. "To face off against an opponent who can launch attacks from any direction."

Neji began spinning one of the senbon he'd liberated mid-flight.

"If only", he declared in mock despair before dropping both caught senbon. "If only I possessed an ability that extended my peripheral vision to three-hundred-and-sixty degrees while also maintaining perfect situational awareness."

- Fate, Chaos, and Plans

"Well that's kind of a downer, he gave you a floor polishing spell?" Nym said with disbelief in her voice, "I thought better of the Marauders."

As if on cue the door was flung open and Draco Malfoy took a step into the compartment, his mouth open and invariably set on making an ass of himself. Unfortunately for him, all he got out was "Pott- EEEEIEIEE!" as his first step landed flat in the middle of the shining region of the floor.

Malfoy flung out his arms to try and stop himself, be he had entered with too much vigor for anything to work. In a move that would make a meth addicted quintaped seem graceful, the boy flopped back and impacted the floor directly with his head, knocking himself clean out.

- Harry Potter: Master of Luck

"O–oh, you're awake now, I see! Yes. Awake. Good," Lyra babbled in relief. "You see, I... I thought I had finally given into my innermost desires"

His insides lurched from her words.

"–and killed you," she continued.

In that moment, a miracle of mineral composition occurred, and Silver's face turned completely into stone. But only for a moment.

- If I Lost on Purpose, Would You Stop Following Me?

"I, ah, picked out the flowers myself based on appearance, so they probably say something like 'victory in battle' or 'a pox upon your house, foul harlot', but I meant well.

- Vapors

"Well, this is traditionally when we exchange witty banter," Temari sighed, slowly reaching over her shoulder for her fan. "I don't suppose you have anything to say?"

"Nothing more than hands off your fan, unless you really need it to hide a blush, you delicate flower," Aiko tried winsomely

- Vapors

"So," the boy said in an arrogant tone that greatly reminded Harry of his cousin, "I've heard that Harry Potter is here this year. You're him, right?" Immediately the voices around them hushed as people leaned in, eager to learn whether or not this was their "savior".

"No," Harry replied with a completely straight face. "I'm Vlad Tepes the Fourth. Son of Count Vlad Tepes the Third."

The blonde hesitated, suddenly looking awkward. "Oh, er, sorry," he stuttered. He quickly regained his composure. "Well then, it's honor meet you, Tepes. I am Draco Malfoy, of the Malfoys"

-Searching for Disaster

"That's a jarvey," she said, distaste clear in her voice. "Foul little creatures, but they're rather useful in chasing gnomes. This one was hit by a few spells, so it's even worse than usual--hence the silencing charms."

Harry cocked his head to the side, curiosity growing with every passing moment. "Silencing charms? Why?" he asked.

In reply, the woman wordless drew her wand and waved it at the cage. As though a thick curtain had been drawn back, sound began to issue forth.

"--Nasty little bastards," the jarvey was swearing violently, "Bloody, goat-fucking, toad licking, wart infested, sons of--"

With another wave of her wand, the sound was cut off again. The witch's face was twisted into a disgusted scowl, but Harry was absolutely delighted.

"I'll take him!" he exclaimed, to the woman's horror and Zacharias and Haemon's amusement.

"But-- You--" the woman spluttered. Harry easily waved off her protest. "Fine," she sulked.

Money passed hands and in only a few seconds Harry was holding the cage and peering interestedly at the jarvey. It had grown even more violent now that it was eye level with Harry and the young boy could practically hear it already.

"What are you going to name him?" Haemon asked through muffled chuckles.

Harry smirked, not taking his eyes away from his new pet. "I think I'll name him Voldemort."

It was worth it to see the witch feint, out cold, on the shop floor.

- Searching for Disaster

"Thank you for coming," Org said. The irony sailed gracefully over Gajeel's head. "It is the request of this court that you describe the events of the war between Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail in your own words."

"What do you mean, my own words?" Gajeel demanded. "Do you expect me to make up a language to talk about it in?"

Org's left eyelid twitched. "No, that means without copying what someone else has said. The court has heard accounts of the conflict from several witnesses already. We would like to hear your own version of events."

"Right," Gajeel said, and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, Lockser told me the Fairies'd grabbed Ashley on Tuesday night. Tuesday morning I got up, I ate some toast and a chunk of I-beam, I brushed my teeth-"

The councillors stared.

"Wait, maybe I brushed my teeth before I ate breakfast," Gajeel said.

- Phantom Girl

"Put those away – wait, are those steamed buns?" Lahar had looked inside the topmost lunchbox. "Are those steamed buns with a little picture of you on them?"

"Juvia is a very gifted cook," Lahar said, and stowed the lunchboxes under his cloak where Doranbolt couldn't steal them or look inside.

"Marry that woman," Doranbolt suggested. "Quickly. Next week. Before she gets to know you better."

- Phantom Girl

There are many great truths in this world. What goes up must come down. When you play with fire, you're likely to get burned. And bringing marshmallows to a cremation or execution by burning is just plain rude… and kind of funny.

- Cutting the Deck