I hated this. I hated all the hours of walking, I hated that I was alone, I hated that my mother had forced me to leave home and I hated that she had made me wear this stupid, itchy, shapeless cloak!

I might have been an outline villager, used to torn, well-worn clothes, but this was ridiculous. The warm summer sun was shining down on me, causing me to sweat buckets under all the layers I'd had to put on. My mother had refused to let me begin my journey in a light-weight dress and instead forced me to wear breeches and a thick tunic, with bandages tightly binding my chest, a hat to conceal my long black hair and then, as if that didn't have me sweating enough, the cloak!

She had claimed it was to keep me safe. That men were less likely to be attacked, whilst travelling, than a lone woman. Not that I had anything to worry about from bandits. I had no money to steal and even if I did, I was probably the most dangerous thing in these woods, anyway. I could take care of myself. But I'd done as she had asked, mainly because I didn't want our last day together to be spent arguing.

Instead, I had shared a tearful goodbye with her and the one friend I had made from my nineteen years in our little village, Will, before I had left and started the long trek that would take me to my mother's old friend Gaius, in Camelot, a place where they slaughtered my kind. This was a bad idea. My mother had been certain though, convinced that this Physician would be able to help me conceal and control the magick within me. I had been less sure; what would he know about magick?

I remembered the day she had told me like it was just this morning, the memory so clear I could almost hear her voice again now.

"No young woman, no matter how great, can know her destiny. She cannot glimpse her path in the great story that the future unfolds. Like everyone, you must live and learn. And so it will be for you, my daughter, when you arrive at the gates of Camelot. You are just a girl now but one day you will be something great. My strong, brave, beautiful, Merlin. You could do such good in this world, if you dare to. If you believe in yourself, as I believe in you." I had begged her not to send me away but she had truly believed that my path was set somewhere else, somewhere people didn't know what I could do or even suspect it as many in Ealdor did. That in Camelot, I would find the reason I had been born the way I was. A Sorceress who had not learnt magick, but had been born with it. Magick that was as much a part of me as my breath and bones.

I supposed any mother would hope her child would become something great and important, but I wasn't anything special. The only thing that was even remotely special about me was something that people hated and feared. I wasn't brave, I wasn't some great beauty, I wasn't wise or strong and I certainly wasn't a hero. I was a shadow, condemned to live my life in secrecy. What was so special about that?

I passed a few soldiers on horseback patrolling Uther Pendragon's kingdom, they just dismissed me like they would any other traveller, not noticing that I was a woman, or a witch, nor anything else that posed a threat. Nothing special.

It took three days before I finally arrived at the gates of Camelot. Upon entering the marketplace, I found myself immediately fascinated with the hustle of busy streets, people of all ages and classes bustling about, buying and selling their wares. Stalls overflowing with brightly coloured fabrics, foods, perfumes and herbs. I had never seen anything like it. We would occasionally have peddlers passing through the village with the odd bits to sell but nothing like this!

My eyes remained wide as I continued through towards the castle square, enchanted by all there was to see and smell but my excitement soon drained away. Everything going still and quiet as I reached the main square, a huge difference to the lively market. The area wasn't empty, not by any means. In fact, a large crowd had gathered in the shadow of the great castle, standing around a wooden platform in near silence and looking up. On the castle balcony, directly above, stood a man in fine clothing, a red robe and a golden crown. The King. Uther Pendragon. The quiet murmuring between people grew louder as two guards began escorted a man wearing similar clothes to my own to the stage. This wasn't to be a show for entertainment.

The executioner followed behind with a heavy, steel, axe in hand. The king began to speak, staring down at the man who gazed back, standing tall and refusing to cower beneath him. He showed no fear as the King passed judgement on him.

"Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is judged guilty for conspiring to use enchantments and magick, and pursuant to the laws of Camelot; I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned. On penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just King, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass." He nodded to the guards who forced Thomas to his knees, shoving his head down to rest atop the wooden executioner's block and as the King's hand rose and fell, as did the axe. I heard the crowds gasps, my heart hammering as the horror of what I was about to see registered, but I couldn't look away. I was rooted to the spot, forced to witness the man's dispatched head rolling across the platform floor. Even now, I still stood staring at the deceased warlock. One of my own people. The King spoke again as if this was normal. As if it were right and fair and just. But just because he believed it, didn't make it so. This was murder. Nothing less.

"When I came to this land it was mired in chaos but with the peoples help magick was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate 20 years since The Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!" The crowd began to clap politely, afraid to show any sign that they disagreed with his sentence. If they ever did. But I refused. I would not clap for a murderer. I began to turn away, wanting to just find Gaius and try to put the cruelty that infected this place out of my mind, when an old woman's wailing reached my ears, effective of turning me to look upon her haggard form and grief-stricken face.

She turned to the Kings balcony, hate turning her despair to rage.

"There is only one evil in this land and it is not Magick! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance!" I didn't think the King was evil, but he was afraid. Afraid of the possibility that anyone could hold more power than him. And fear made men do terrible things. Things that no sane man would ever consider. "You took my son. I promise you, before these celebrations are over you will share my tears." I watched as tears began streaming down her face, as she ignored them and continued facing down the King. "An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! A son for a son!" My eyes widened at the conviction in her words. She wanted revenge for what had been done and she seemed enraged enough to get it. Uther pointed at the distraught woman and ordered his guards to 'cease her' but before they had the chance to reach her, she spoke words I had never heard, nor understood, and was gone in a puff of smoke. Now that was the sort of Magick I could really do with learning. Especially if I was going to be forced to live here.

The king stormed from his balcony, back behind his white, brick walls and the gathered crowd began to move on, going about their business as though nothing had happened. As if a man hadn't just been murdered. As if his grieving mother hadn't just threatened the King of Camelot and his son. I felt no worry for him. He deserved nothing less. Thomas Collins was not the first person to be executed for having Magick and he wouldn't be the last. I committed his name to memory. The first of, no doubt, a long list of people I would see slaughtered at the hands of a tyrant King. As the guards began to drag Thomas' body away, I turned to face the castle. I didn't want to stay here. All the delights the market had to offer were not worth this. The possibility of finding a purpose for my gifts wasn't worth it. I wanted to go home.

I forced myself to grit my teeth against the despair, squaring my shoulders before entering the castle itself and asking a serious looking guard for directions.

"Do you know where I can find Gaius; the court physician?" The guard just sort of pointed towards a long corridor on his left and I headed that way, not bothering to thank him for his less than helpful guidance. I made my way past several doorways, not daring to open them and perhaps bump into the King, before finding a stairway that was half hidden between two columns. Spotting a small wooden sign, inscribed with 'Court Physician' level with the fourth step. Finally. My feet began to drag as I forced my legs to keep climbing the stairs, the exhaustion from my journey beginning to catch up with me, and eventually coming to a shorter corridor. There were only a few doors along it and the first one I came across had been left slightly ajar so I knocked gently, not wanting to force it open any further, hoping that I was in the right place but figuring if I wasn't, I should at least get some decent directions.

When I received no answer I poked my head around the door, only opening it slightly more than it was already. The room inside held several tables, each of them overflowing with items. Some with herbs, others with small glass jars filled with a multitude of coloured elixirs, a bunch of equipment and ornaments that I could only guess as to their purposes. Honestly, it was beyond anything I'd ever seen. I had to be in the right place because otherwise, someone in Camelot had a serious hoarding problem. The one thing I didn't see, though, was Gaius. Or anybody else for that matter.

"Hello?" I called, stepping into the room and looking around properly. If I thought the owner of these chambers was a hoarder before, I definitely knew they were now. Shelves upon shelves of books lined the walls above, a small wooden staircase and railing lining three of the four walls. I eventually noticed a figure standing on one of the platforms above, his back to me. He was an older man, wearing a simple robe and seeming completely oblivious to my presence as he browsed the line of bookshelves.

"Gaius?" I asked, still not sure he was the man my mother had sent me to. My voice had come out quieter than I'd intended and I cleared my throat in order to call louder. I didn't have to. At the sound of my cough, he spun in my direction, losing his balance during the quick motion and falling back against the wooden railing. It collapsed beneath his weight and I watched in horror as the old man began plummeting towards the stone floor fifteen feet below. The broken planks of wood falling with him.

I acted without thinking, my magick automatically slowing time, something that had been a nuisance in the past when trying to have normal conversations with people but that I was incredibly grateful for now. My eyes scanned the room, landing on a bed that had been tucked neatly against one wall and with nothing more than a slight jerk of my head it flew across the room, coming to a stop just before time sped back up and the old man landed atop it. A few bits of wood landing with him. It had been pure luck that none of them had been particularly large or sharp, unable to cause him any real damage.

He sat up, staring at me in bewilderment, stammering nonsense as he heaved himself from the bed and rushed towards me. My eyes were wide, my heart pounding in terror as the consequences of what I'd just done began to creep up on me.

"What did you just do?" I opened and closed my mouth several times, no words managing to escape my mouth. I could be killed for doing that! Just like Thomas Collins had been moments before! Less than an hour within Camelot's walls and I'd doomed myself already! "Tell me."

"I have no idea what happened." I finally managed to stammer out, too afraid to even wince at the ridiculousness of that statement.

"If anyone had seen that –" He had. This man who may or may not be Gaius.

"No! No, no, that was nothing to do with me. That, that, that was –" He cut me off as I had him. Clearly not interested in listening to me stutter out lies.

"I know what it was. I just want to know where you learnt to do it." I was screwed!

"Nowhere," I admitted, not really a lie. I hadn't learnt anything. I'd always been able to do that.

"So how is it you know magick?" I flinched away when he used that dangerous word, grateful that this section of the castle had been empty of guards.

"I don't!" This time I was lying. Pointless considering I'd been caught red-handed but what else was I supposed to do? My mother trusted Gaius but I wasn't even sure this man was him!

"Where did you study? Answer me!"

"I've never studied magick or been taught." I cried, my voice rising in pitch the more worked up I got.

"Are you lying to me, boy?" I didn't care that he thought I was a boy, that was the least of my problems right now.

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"I was born like this!" I admitted, praying he wouldn't run to inform the guards. What would I do if he did? I didn't want to hurt him but what if it was my life or his? Could I do it? I couldn't believe I was even considering it! I had never killed anyone before! I hadn't even hit someone before!

"That's impossible! Who are you?" The same question I'd been asking myself when I first stepped into this room. Something I wished I hadn't done now.

"I have this letter... for... what's your name? " I paused, hesitating in handing over the letter. If I gave it to him and he wasn't Gaius then I would be putting my mother in danger.

"Gaius." Thanks, the Gods for that! My heart began to calm a little, I still didn't trust him but... well, it was better than if he'd been a stranger. My mother trusted him, I just had to pray now that she'd been right to do so.

"The letter is for you. From my mother." He looked at me sceptically, not taking the letter I offered to him.

"I don't have my glasses." He explained and I lowered my arm, my fingers brushing over the familiar parchment for comfort. The only piece of my mother I had with me in this strange place.

"I'm Merlin." His expression was laced with suspicion as he looked me up and down.

"I know of a girl called Merlin but I do not know you." I quickly pulled my hood down and removed my hat. He was still confused but seemed to understand that I was, actually, a girl. The fact he had been so careful as to what information he gave up comforted me in that my mother may have been right to trust him. That if I had been an imposter he would not have found the answer he sought from Gaius.

"You're not supposed to be here until Wednesday." I had left on Monday... spent two nights in the woods... yeah, it was definitely the right day.

"It is Wednesday." I pointed out and he shook his head at himself, realising that I was right. I supposed spending so much time around chemicals would cause anyone to grow forgetful.

"Ah. Well, go ahead and put your bag in there." He pointed to another door, tucked between bookshelves, which led to another flight of stairs. All the stairs in this place were going to kill me! I started towards them, turning back before I was halfway across the room. He seemed trustworthy enough but... .

"You won't say anything about…" I let my sentence trail off, he knew what I meant. He shook his head.

"Although, Merlin, I should say thank you." He smiled and I gave him a weak one in return, my legs nearly giving out in relief, before going up to my room, placing my mother's letter on one of the table's as I passed.

My room was the size of my entire house back in Ealdor, although now I was here I realised that my mother's hut was nothing but a spec of dust compared to the castle I now had a home in. The room was simple, empty but for a single bed with a side table, a trunk at the end of it to store my clothes and a cupboard to store anything else I needed to. My meagre belongings wouldn't even take up a quarter of the trunk as I laid them out along the bottom, sad at the realisation of how little I owned, before placing the, now empty, bag beside them. Carrying the small box of powders and creams my mother had given me over to the small desk, a mirror hanging above it. Gaius' attempt at providing me with a dressing table. I stroked the small box of makeup, wondering why I'd even bothered to bring it with me. I had only used it once, the day my mother had gifted it for me for my birthday over a year ago. There had been no need for it whilst milking cows and sowing the fields. Still, it had been a gift and I hadn't wanted to seem ungrateful for it. We had so little back in Ealdor, and I had wondered how my mother had even managed to pay for it at the time. Not having realised she had held onto it without use for even longer than I had. That she had packed it away when my father had left us, never using it in all the time since.

With a sad sigh, I crossed the large room, opening the window and lifting myself to sit on the sill. The view from up here was amazing, as much as I hated to admit it. In truth, if not for the scene I'd witnessed upon my entrance into the Kingdom I might have wondered why I'd been so adamant not to come here in the first place. I watched as the castle servants darted across the square, going about their duties. Two of them being unlucky enough to be tasked with clearing away the bloody platform. I forced myself to look away, instead, watching the guards carrying out their patrols; some on foot and others on horseback. The horses they rode were truly magnificent creatures; nothing like the old nags we had back in Ealdor or the ones the peddlers had used to pull their carts. These horses were huge, towering over those that walked past, well groomed and bearing brightly polished saddles, shining almost as brightly as the Knight's in their silver armour atop them.

As the sun began to sink over the western horizon I clambered down from my perch, silently closing the window and going to sit on what was to be my bed for whoever knew how long. I lay down, not pulling the covers back before I did. Somehow, the thought of climbing beneath them made everything seem so final. That I was truly here to stay. The bed was weird. Not as soft as I had imagined it would be, but not as hard as the floor at home. My mother's bed had been too small for both of us as I grew and seeing as she did most of the work I had automatically demoted myself to the hard ground. The blanket I would place beneath me never enough to keep away the chill. In comparison, this was a luxury. But it wasn't home. My eyes filled with tears as I thought of my mother preparing herself for bed, alone in our small cottage, and my mind began to think over the words she had written in her letter to Gaius.

My dear Gaius,

I turn to you for I feel lost and alone and don't know who to trust. It is every mother's fate to think her child is special and yet I would give my life that Merlin was not so. Ours is a small village and she is so clearly at odds with people here that if she were to remain I fear what would become of her. She needs a hand to hold, a voice to guide, someone that might help her find a purpose for her gift. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her daughter, keep her safe.

And may God save you both.

Hunith

I was not been meant to read the letter but boredom had gotten the best of me on my long walk. Besides, there had been nothing in it that I hadn't already known. My mother had made her feelings on the matter quite clear. Still, it had saddened me to realise how helpless she had felt. That she hadn't believed herself capable of the things she was certain Gaius was. A man who didn't know me, who had no reason to care for me, or to help me. With a mixture of my mother's letter and the scene from earlier playing in my head I fell asleep. Welcomed with nightmares that I did not welcome in return.