Disclaimer – I own nothing.

A.N. – Hey guys! So, I'm totally struggling with the transition into the second half of this story, and have decided to get myself a beta for it. Definitely need someone to bounce my ideas off of. We'll see how that goes; I've contacted someone, but I'm still waiting on a response. If that doesn't pan out, feel free to recommend some wonderful beta's who are open and available to me! On another note, I'm on tumblr now (lovergurrl411 on there too)! So, yea, definitely feel free to follow me and send me messages. I'd love to talk to all of you! Sidenote: I uploaded a new Jacob/Bella video on my youtube channel a while ago, so definitely go and check it out!

Warning: I'm seriously considering pulling a Stephanie Meyer and making the second half of this story (a chapter or two from now) from Jacob's POV. If I decide to do this, then the story won't be switching back and forth POV—it'll be strictly in Jacob's POV from the moment I switch to the end. Just fair warning in case I decide to go that route.

Rating Warning: This story has been changed officially to "M." There is definitely going to be more smut thrown about, now that they've had sex. I know I said in the beginning that I would never write anything explicit, but…here we are. Haha. Just a heads up for those who don't like that sort of thing.

To rissbenzo, Jay, Vickyaisha, alba1020, PastOneonta, corkykellemsb, psychostation, teamjacob0729, megan39, AHealingRenaissance, enchantedlight, Mysteriousreader1990, Jessie the twilight girl, 4Gracie04, Crisely, April-Showers82, rkat21, kouga's older woman, sarahmicaela88 (sarah88): You are all wonderful and I love and adore you all from the bottom of my heart. I thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinions of this story, even when those opinions are critical—I take it all into account when I write! Seriously, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

For all who followed, favorited, and read silently—as always, thank you for taking the time to read and (hopefully) enjoy this story! :)

/Don't need permission, made my decision to test my limits

Cause it's my business, God as my witness, start what I finished,

Don't need no hold up, taking control of this kind of moment; I'm locked and loaded

Completely focused, my mind is open; all that you got, skin to skin, oh my God

Don't ya stop, boy—Somethin' 'bout you makes me

feel like a dangerous woman/

-Dangerous Woman, Ariana Grande

Chapter 12 – Feels Good to be Bad

Sometimes, when it's really quiet at night, when everything feels like nothing matters except the silence, I think about Edward. It's weird how he invades my mind.

I don't like him. I don't. But sometimes I remember how he sort of forced me to feel desire for him…how he consumes everything. I think about that. I think about it and I try to wrap my brain around the fact that someone so small, so lean compared to Jacob, can have that much power.

On nights like these, I wish that Jacob would climb through my window and spend the night. If only to keep the demons away. If only to keep Edward away.

It's been a week since the tribal meeting, and I feel like nothing's changed sometimes; sometimes I feel like everything's changed.

There are people that clearly have fear in their eyes—that mistrust Jacob, the pack, and all of the imprints just on principle. But then there are others—people who make it a point to invite me over for coffee. Some of the men and women in the tribe, total strangers, if they see me in the store, make it a point to carry my bags. Others, if they see me walking from Jacob's to Sam's offer lifts and won't take no for an answer.

Jacob says it's out of respect—for him or me, I'm not sure which and I don't have the courage to ask.

It's really weird, having people I don't know want to talk to me or help me—randomly come up to me and ask me if I'm okay and if I need anything. Charlie noticed. He hasn't said anything yet, but it's only time. The way his eyebrows crinkled when it happened with him around says enough.

The air shifts suddenly, and I realize that Jacob's coming closer. It's like I'm riding the wind and Earth with him and, god I love being a part of him.

I'm still getting used to these emotions, and new acute sense of awareness and sensations. But maybe I'll never get used to it. Maybe I'll always feel like I'm flying and running and standing still simultaneously. I hope so.

"Haven't I told you not to think so hard?" Jacob climbs through the window. I hadn't even noticed that it was cracked open, but I'm glad it was. I'm too comfortable to want to move, even for him. Ache. Okay, maybe I'd move for him.

"What can I say? My thinking cap kind of turns on by itself," I joke lamely. I sit up on the bed and let my feet dangle over the edge. He closes the space between us, with a few steps and a simple heartbeat. It's nice, and open—the fire doesn't bounce or jiggle, but the heat that comes from longing spreads from Jacob to me. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Your thoughts were keeping me awake," he teases. I let out a breathy chuckle; my hands, unbidden, lift and trace his stomach lightly.

The playful smile falls from his face, and there's only want. There's a desperate want that fills the lines on his face, his hands as they lift and run through my hair. Please, please.

My own hands grip his shirt and tugs, tugs, until I'm trying to shove it off his body. I dare anyone to tell me they've wanted like we do.

"Bella, we can't" his voice cuts through the haze of desire.

"Why?" I ask and plead, and don't ever stop touching me.

"We're in Charlie's house," he pins me with that thousand-yard stare that always leaves me sort of breathless. I wonder if I ever leave him breathless, too. "And he likes me, sure, but he doesn't like me that much."

"We'll be quiet, I swear," I try to cajole him. My face is redder than Red Nose the Reindeer's nose; I know I sound so wanton, but I can't help it. I want him so bad all of the time, and it seems like we never have any moments alone anymore.

He chuckles and leans over me. His lips settle over mine as though the universe were suffering an earthquake. I clutch at him, yes, yes. Just like this.

I can feel his desire, and passion. It licks my own in that metaphysical way that I've stopped trying to understand. I moan into his mouth, as his tongue traces mine like I remember it traced the curves of my body not so long ago.

He pushes against me, and like a burning house in the middle of a quiet suburban street, I'm on my back rolling my pelvis against Jacob's as he looms over me. More, more, yes, yes.

Don't stop, don't ever stop.

But he does, and his eyes lock onto mine; the world tilts and realigns in an instant, and it's like we're merging all over again.

I want to care about how desperate I seem. I want to stop the fire and ache that storms through my veins, but I'm past that. We're past that. We're so past that.

I grind into him so bad and yet so right and good, and I need him inside of me so frantically. He moans throatily in response. His moans make me feel special, beautiful, like I'm the only thing to ever exist in this world.

"Fuck, Bella," He nips at my neck and shoulder as his hands work on removing my shorts and panties without losing contact, which is…impossible. He doesn't stop trying though. His hands shake in contained passion. "We can't do this. We can't."

He doesn't stop touching me, or trying to undress me, and I don't stop clutching him tighter, and closer.

Finally, finally, Jacob's frustration reaches its peak and he rips the shorts and panties at the side and lets them fall away. Yes, I'm so tired of waiting.

I feel like I've been waiting all week, all year, forever, to feel him like I want to. My own hands don't bother to remove his shirt, either. We're too frenzied, too hopeless in our passion for those kinds of trivialities. My fingers grasp the sweats that he's wearing and tug them down enough that he springs up and out, and oh yes, right there.

We're connected with no hesitation or preamble. No foreplay, and I wonder for a moment if that's a bad thing, if I'm rushing it, but this could never be a bad thing.

Never, ever, ever, holy cow, this could never be a bad thing. I can barely take a moment to admire the magic we make—the magic that I can see and feel so intensely when we're one.

And we climb together; we climb over mountains of moans, groans, grunts, yeses and right there's. We climb over I love you's and your mine's. We climb, together, the way it's always supposed to be.

The bed creaks and bangs loudly against the wall, and darn it, why couldn't we be magicians and just silencio the room with a wand?

We freeze, gaze immobilized on each other, wondering if we've woken Charlie up. I hope not. I really hope not. Jacob goes to move away from me, and over my dead body; I'd rather be caught then dare stop now.

I roll my hips in earnest, passionately digging my nails into his back, silently trying to communicate with him how much I don't care about who might hear. Not here, not now. Not when I'm so full of him.

"Don't stop," I whisper half in ecstasy and half in despair. "Jacob."

His name is the greatest plea to have ever fallen from my lips, I'm sure. It's enough.

"Quiet, Bella," He says roughly, as he lifts me up, rips my shirt off in the process, and positions us against the wall that won't creak and make noise regardless of how hard and rough he loves me. "We need to be so fucking quiet."

Pinned against the wall by his body, connected to him, I push his torso back a little to pull and shove his shirt up and over his head.

"Quiet," I whisper in agreement, heady with the feel of him inside me this way, all around me.

Against the wall, he doesn't hold back, and my lip starts to bleed from how hard I'm biting it to keep quiet. He growls and licks at the trickle of blood against my lips. His eyes turn amber, and the wolf consumes me in a way that satisfies the imprint on a whole new level.

My wolf, my alpha, yes, yes, yes. Harder, harder, and it isn't until the words are out of my mouth that I realize it's what I want. I want to be completely owned and possessed the way I know the wolf wants me to be and can.

I want Jacob's body to wipe any traces of Edward's clutch in me away. I want Jacob's body to destroy me until I can barely move. God, is this dirty? Is this what people talk about when they talk about dirty talk? It can't be because there's no shame welling up inside of me.

I'm not ashamed at how much, how deeply, how completely I want him. There's nothing dirty about our passion.

With that knowledge, that bone deep understanding, I don't try to hold back my thoughts. I don't try to stop the words from tumbling from my lips. Harder. Deeper. More. Yes. Just like that, just like that. Love the way you feel inside of me. Yes, yes, god yes.

The words, barely a whisper in between us, latch onto a primal part of our relationship that we've been hesitant to explore before now. The whispers of my desire unleash the beast in him, and suddenly he's telling me how tight I am.

So fucking tight, Bella. So good, honey. You like that? Take it, Bella. Take all of me. Just like that. Fuck, fuck.

The deeper he touches me inside, the harsher his words are against my ear, and the higher our passion soars. Our passion coils and springs until my toes are curling and I'm biting into his shoulder trying to quiet my screams as his calloused hands gripping my shoulders from behind push me down, and down, and down again onto him.

We're like ping pongs, bouncing off of each other in every single way possible. We bounce and bounce until I'm twitching and I've never felt so full and so loved. In bliss and rapture, my teeth let go of his shoulder, and my lips open, ready to shout to the world how perfect it all feels.

But Jacob's mouth catches mine and swallows the cry into him, as I twitch and twitch and twitch, because he hasn't stopped. No, he hasn't stopped riding the waves of my pure elation and release, and it's all too much and not enough.

The fire and ache are building up inside of me again, with no time to relax, and I can barely breathe, let alone think. Yes, yes. I can't, Jacob. I can't, it's too much. I can't—oh, god yes, yes. You feel so good, so good, Jacob. So deep.

You can. You can, baby, fuck, just like that. I promise, I promise—you can, fuck, take it, take it. Twitch on this cock, Bella. So fucking tight, so fucking tight.

Our hands are frantic and our bodies are in a trance, dancing a dance made for people in love. It's so different from last time, and the pain is the best that I've ever felt.

I can't even find it in me to scowl or reprimand his use of such a dirty word, because nothing in anything that we're doing or saying is dirty. Nothing. Not ever. Not as long as it's Jacob saying it to me. Not as long as it's me saying it to him. Not as long as we're together.

Together, and together we reach a high that I've never felt before, greater than last time—the last time which was so sweet, and wonderful, and fulfilling. This is anything but sweet, wonderful, or fulfilling. This is crushing, and powerful, and intensely sating.

I notice, once the haze starts to clear a bit, that there's blood on his lips, maybe from my own split lip or perhaps from when our mouths crashed into each other and our teeth clashed. We hadn't cared at the time, but now I can't stop caring.

There's also blood on his shoulder from when I dug my teeth into his shoulder without regard, and drew his blood into me.

I can feel a slickness on my neck, and I know there's blood on there too, from his own bite when he was possessing me in that awesome way. I can feel the bruises forming on my pelvis from being smashed into so thoroughly and severely.

I don't want to call attention to any of it, but, what if this isn't what he wanted? What if I made him do this—forced the alpha, the wolf, to come to the surface, and now he hates me for it? What if my own passion forced him to love me harder than he wanted to, or feels comfortable with now that it's all over?

"We look like a crime scene," I acknowledge my fears the only way I know how. I can't look him in the eyes, and I know he knows why. We're so in tune, and he's still inside of me, resting within the crevices of my body and soul.

"Maybe," he smirks and forces me to look at him by his will. I feel his will like a sledgehammer and a caress, simultaneously. "But I think that we look like people in love."

I smile, and all the thoughts from the night flee from my mind.

Yea, maybe we are just people in love.

With the daylight comes the sun, and for a moment I let myself believe that it'll be sunny enough for Edward and the rest of the Cullens to skip class.

I know that won't be the case, but I let myself believe that on my way to school. I let the post-coital happiness linger in my lazy movements, and maybe, just maybe, I'm getting the hand of this walking without falling thing. Maybe.

Topaz eyes pierce me, and I trip on the first step of the stairs into the building. Strong hands wrap themselves around my forearm, stopping my fall.

"Thanks," I smile lightly to Mike. He smiles back, and there's that hope in his eyes, but he lets me go without an awkward pause.

He knows that I'm Jacobs. Yea, and Jacob's mine, too.

"Bella, are you glowing?" Lauren walks up and settles on my oher side. Her question brings to mind the deliciousness of late last night, and my face brightens up like a tomato. "oh you are! Do tell!"

"Tell what?" Jessica and Angela maneuver Mike out of the way, and settle themselves on my other side. I can't help the ridiculous smile that springs to my lips. There's nothing to smile about, but, well, there's everything to smile about.

"Why she's glowing like a pregnant lady," Lauren snarkily replies.

"Hey! I am not pregnant!" I scowl, the fire is too sated for me to keep up with Lauren today. But we didn't use a condom. Oh my, we didn't use a condom. I stop walking for a moment. No. No. And then it hits me how ridiculous I'm being. We've never used a condom because I've been on the pill since I was sixteen!

I scowl even harder at Lauren for making me doubt, even for a second.

"Okay, so you're not preggers," Jessica rolls her eyes. "Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. So what's up?"

The question is so simple, yet so open that I could hug Jessica. It leaves me open to give any answer I want about any topic at all. It's uncharacteristically sensitive of her, or maybe I'm just over thinking her comment…which is probably the case.

Either way, I feel a burst of affection for the girl that in another world where Jacob hadn't helped to make me strong, stronger than I am, and stronger than I'd ever thought I could be, I could have easily found her pushy, irritating, and shallow.

But that's not this world. In this world, she's a wonderful friend, I'd say. She's a better friend then I'd ever thought I'd have. They all are.

I don't let myself think on Jane Austen, not right now. I'm stronger. Yea, I am.

Instead of a brush off, I whisper, "me and Jacob, you know."

"What?!"

"oh my god!"

"Go Bella!"

"How was it?" all three girls say simultaneously. So in sync that I almost catch whiplash, but I don't and I can't help but smile and blush, and feel happy.

I can see the smile in their eyes, and they're happy with me too.

It's nice, and strange. I wonder if I should tell Renee, but I discard the thought. Renee and me, yea, no.

"It was good. Really good," I try to downplay it and yet tell the truth. I know that Lauren's experience hadn't been anything like mine, and I don't want to make her feel weird about it.

"How many times did you guys do it?" Jessica asks nosily, but frankly, I don't have room to judge considering how nosy I am.

Lauren and Angela don't have my reservations and give her a telling stare to which she responds, "What? After Lauren's omission, I'm now forced to ask to be on the safe side."

Lauren rolls her eyes, but doesn't begrudge her statement. Angela just shakes her head in exasperation, and compassionately looks at me and says, "You don't have to tell us, Bella, if you don't want to." But I can see the curiosity in her eye, too.

Honestly, I sort of do want to tell them though. It's a feeling that I had never understood in other people—why Renee insisted on sharing all the details of her love life with her girlfriends. Things like this, this especially, should be private. But…

"Well," I start quietly, conscious that no one but the girls overhear me. Conscious to exclude the life and magic in my answer. "We had only done it once a week ago, and it was nice. You know, first time nice. But he showed up last night in the middle of the night…"

"Oh my god!" Angela squeals in delight.

Jessica indignantly says, "it's been a whole week?! Why are we just now hearing about this?!"

"Probably because she didn't want you making a spectacle in the hallway," Lauren snipes, reminding her that we are, indeed, in an open hallway.

With this Angela rushes to open the girl's bathroom door a few steps ahead of us, and we all follow her lead inside. As we settle against the stall doors, side wall, and sink counter respectively, I wonder how many secrets has passed through this bathroom. I wonder what these walls would say if they could talk.

But as the girl's look at me expectantly, I'm really glad that these walls can't talk. Because my secrets are about to join the countless secrets of teenage girls who've purged their soul and experiences within the sanctity of the girl's bathroom of high schools across America—heck, the world.

"So…" my mind goes blank.

What is there to say? Me and Jacob merged in every way possible. The ache and fire aren't attacking me, and I'm starting to tell which feelings are my own more distinctly now.

"You had sex in the Sheriff's house?" Lauren smirks at me with mischief in her eyes. I didn't think that I could get any redder. I was clearly wrong.

"Don't even bring that up," my mortification knows no bounds, but I need another input on that whole aspect of the scenario. "Jacob didn't even want to, ahem, go there because Charlie's right across from me."

"Didn't stop him, though," Jessica joked.

"More like it didn't stop me," I cover my face with my hands as the girls start to laugh and say ridiculous things like "Atta girl, Bella!"

"How'd you get him to give in?" Angela smiles encouragingly.

"Us women have our ways," Lauren replies for me with a supercilious grin on her face. It's really, well, bitchy, but I know she means well. She's trying to give me a way out of answering the question; I want to share, but not that much detail.

"Yea, yea," Jessica purses her lips and dismisses Lauren's superior attitude. "What I want to know is how was it? Like, the second time around? Since Bella's the only one of us that can answer that."

Lauren glares, but Jessica keeps her focus on me. It's nice knowing that even though me and Lauren have this understanding, which stems from this ever present fire in both of us, and so we'll defend each other, there's someone who will defend Angela too,

It's kind of like battle lines drawn in an invisible sand—who knew that friendships between girls were so complicated? I sure hadn't, but then again, I had never had the kind of sisterhood that I have now with them.

"Can we focus?" I raise an eyebrow. I may never be confrontational, at least not without an overwhelming and pushy fire and ache forcing my patience, but never let it be said that Swans don't know how to cut through the malarkey.

"So, how was it last night?" Angela asks, quick to forget jabs at her.

"Hot. Like, really hot," I try to explain but I know I'm not doing the experience any justice. "We—we were kind of like animals."

"How did Charlie not hear all that?" Jessica questions, completely focused on me too along with Lauren and Angela.

"Jacob was really big on us being quiet," I smile, that secret smile that I discovered a while ago. The one that speaks of a world full of passion. I turn to Lauren though, and say, "you have to do it again. It's so much more the second time."

I don't want my experience to somehow make her doubt hers. My first time might have been a bit more eventful, because of the imprint and an alpha, but it was still nice—magical. Nothing compared to last night.

I guess I sort of want her to grasp that we're in the same boat, still. She nods, and I know she gets what I'm trying to say badly.

I realize that last night hadn't been about magic. It hadn't been about seeing the universe in the way I saw it the first time. Last night had been just about us. Us. Our love. Our need. The power of wanting each other.

"Ugh," Jessica practically screeches. "I can't believe you took the plunge before me! In what world is that okay or normal?"

"Have you seen Jacob?" Angela looks at her incredulously. I can't stop the laugh that bubbles up and out—the others start to laugh with me too, and it's really nice to get this out in the air. Hiding it for a week had been kind of tiresome.

I just hadn't wanted to be a hypocrite—criticizing Renee for so long for keeping nothing private, to turn around and share intimate things with my own friends. But, I can't live my life thinking about that. I can't bear that weight of whether or not I'm just like my mother.

"Should I feel bad though?" I ask timidly. "I mean, he might have done it, but I sort of forced the issue. I knew that by doing certain things that he'd cave."

"He's a dude, Bella," Lauren replies distractedly as she fixes her makeup. "Unless you strapped him to a chair or chained him against the wall without his consent, he wanted it as much as you."

My blush is automatic and very telling.

"Oh my—you guys did it in a chair?! Or against the wall?!"

"…the wall," I cringe saying it in the daylight. That doesn't sound loving at all. But, well, who decides what's loving? Who decides what's an acceptable way to show you care?

The girls practically explode trying to speak over each other. We all ignore the bell to go to class—clearly this is more important.

"Wasn't that uncomfortable?"

"Who decided that? You or him?"

"Does it feel the same against the wall?"

"The bed was making too much noise!" I stop their questions before they could go any further. "It's wasn't weird or anything. I didn't even know he was going to move us until we were moving against it—towards it—ah! You know what I mean."

I'm so flustered right now that I'm sure the entire pack can feel it through our link, our connectedness, which is so much greater than before.

"Bella," Lauren, Angela, and Jessica all trade looks. "You are so scandalous!"

The late bell rings, and we're all officially skipping the first class of the day. I've never skipped class before.

Okay, maybe I am a bit scandalous after all.

Soo what do you guys think? I've decided to incorporate the transition of having a sexual relationship into the story, only because I think that this is a major deal in everyone's life, especially in a young girl's life—establishing what's okay and what's not okay, etc. I don't want to skim over it, but I'm hoping that I'm dealing with the issue properly. Feel free to tell me if you think I'm not! Also, this chapter was originally supposed to be longer, but I thought these two scenes deserved their own space, not mixed in with the drama headed your way in the next chapter (which is definitely still in the works). Was I wrong? Anywho, hated it? Loved it? Let me know and Review! :) **Reviews are love**