Name: I've told you losers once!! Don't make me say it again... It's M-I-S-T-R-E-S-S S-T-O-R-M.

Age: Older than Naruto when he graduated...

Live: No telling you stalkers, that's for sure!!

Status: Currently studying...

Sex: Yes please!!... I mean female

'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity. ...

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect...
But nobody's perfect...
so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning.

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk?

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn?

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station...
what more can I say...

Some Quotes

+Night Play+

Bride: So let me see if I got everything straight from your mother. This means that we are somehow meant to be husband and wife. But if I refuse you, you spend the rest of your life impotent and alone? But I, on the other hand, am free to live my life however I see fit?

(Vane nods)

Bride: It really sucks to be you, doesn't it?

+Twilight+

Jacob: Bella! Ouch! Damn it, open the window! OUCH!

Bella: What are you doing?

Jacob: I'm trying to keep my promise!

Bella: When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?

+New Moon+

Quil: So that's why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur.

Sam: And your chocolate fur reflects what? How sweet you are?

Eclipse+

Bella: I hate you Jacob Black.

Jacob: That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion.

Bella: I'll give you passionate. Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.

Eclipse+

Bella: If I think about you tonight, it will be because I'm having a nightmare.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

You laugh because I am different, I laugh because your the same.

Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver. (And Much Easier To Find!!)

The world can't end today... it's already tomorrow in Japan...

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you know (a) video game characters (b) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

Sometimes I wonder who I am. Does that me I am crazy. Or are you crazy and I sane. Sometimes I wonder.

Anonymous: "Down the many roads of life, I choose the psycho path"

"Vegetarian: The old Indian word for 'bad hunter'

"I don’t suffer from insanity: I enjoy every minute"

Idiots make the world go around, the world go around, the world, dee dee de!

"Inuyasha is an open book: He just continually changes languages"

"Some people are like slinkies: They're useless but its still hilarious to watch one stumble down the stairs"

"I suffer from reality"

"Sarcasm: The reason I haven’t killed anyone yet"

"Some mornings it just doesn’t pay to chew through the leather straps"

"Screw the princess, I’m the QUEEN!"

"7 of the 10 voices in my head say "do not shoot" while the others..."

"I’ve upped my standards, now up yours!"

"Even the cutest of kittens have claws"

Did you eat a bowl of STUPID for breakfast?

"Don't think of it as being out-numbered; think of it as unlimited target selection!"

Copy paste things

BEST FRIENDS AND FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink when they're at your house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason why you have no food

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents by DAD and MOM because they're like second parents to them

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "DAMN!! We screwed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore

FRIENDS: Have your number written down

BEST FRIENDS: Know your number by heart

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are friends through high school/college

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you if they think you had enough

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "BOTCH! Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Will be there to comfort you when a guy turns you down

BEST FRIENDS: Will walk right up to him and ask "It's becuase your gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when a guy breaks up with you

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and whisper "7 days..."

FRIENDS: Will help you when you fall

BEST FRIENDS: Will just keep walking and say "Walk much dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you

FRIENDS: Offer you a soda

BEST FRIENDS: Dump theirs on you

FRIENDS: Sit at the side of a pool with you when its that time of the month

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in

FRIENDS: Offer you their umbrella in the rain

BEST FRIENDS: Steal yours and start yelling "Run-fuck-run!"

FRIENDS: Help you move

BEST FRIENDS: Help you move the bodies

FRIENDS: Only knows a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd's doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's asses that left you

Some awesome quotes and other things I found interesting:

"5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions."
"667. Evil and then some."
"Always forgive your enemies, because nothing annoys them more."
"And to think, you're the end result of millions of years of evolution."
"A nuclear war can ruin your whole day."
"Are you a side effect of my medication?"
"Behold! The All-American weapon of mass destruction: choking on a pretzel."
"Boys are like pennies, two-faced and worthless."
"Chaos...Panic...Disorder...My work here is done."
"Come talk to me when you have some money."
"Come to the dark side; we have cookies."
"Forget the cookies, the dark side has Yaoi."
"Don't drink and drive; you might spill your beer!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself."
"For the record, I blame you."
"Gone to my happy place. Back soon."
"Happiness is like wetting your pants. Other people can see it and only you can feel it."
"Have a nice day but leave me out of it."
"I did NOT escape. They gave me a day pass."
"Idiocy is the essence of the male mind."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"If I die, I'm taking you with me! Oh...you're dying? Forget I said anything."
"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."
"If you want breakfast in bed, go sleep in the kitchen."
"If you wish not to be destroyed, you will leave me alone."
"I hate it when I get food in my sand."
"I have a dream, and in it something eats you."
"I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed."
"I like it in my happy place, for they know me there."
"I'm too tired to tell the truth."
"I'm up, I'm dressed, what more do you want?"
"It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."
"I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard; be evil."
"Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought, "Where hell is my ceiling?"
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up."
"My homework ate my dog!"
"My life is too much for me to keep up with. I want my sippy cup back."
"My mind works like lightning...One brilliant flash and it's gone."
"NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be shot; survivors will be shot again."
"Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool."
"Only in America do pizzas arrive at doorsteps faster than ambulances."
"Only in America is the slowest traffic time of the day referred to as 'rush hour'"
"Ow, my brain hurts."
"Please do not throw anything or anybody into the fish pond."
"Smile. It confuses people."
"Sorry, mind closed until further notice."
"Tell me your sob story...I need a good laugh."
"That which doesn't kill you...Will probably try again."
"The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent."
"The stupider people think you are, the more suprised they are when you kill them."
"There is a fine line between insanity and stupidity. Feel free to cross it!"
"There's too much blood in my caffeine system!"
"They say I have A.D.H.D., but I just don't understa- oh look! A kitty!"
"They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?"
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target."
"Tucking fypos!"
"When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing."
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."
"When life gives you lemons, throw them back in God's face and yell, 'Make your own damn lemonade!'"
"Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"
"You can't spell slaughter without laughter."
"You cry, I'll cry. You laugh, I'll laugh. You fall out of a window, I'll laugh."
"Your chances of getting struck by lightning increase if you stand under a tree, shake your fist up at the sky, and yell, 'Storms suck!'"
"You're not paranoid if they really are out to get you."
“Death is hereditary.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“Apology accepted. Now go away and leave me alone.”
“A true friends doesn't stab you in the back, they stab you in the front”
“Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
“Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.”
“I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.”

According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.
Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.
Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense..
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Generally, generalizations are wrong.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?
If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.
Whatever you are, be a good one.
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
Belief gets in the way of learning.
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.
Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.
Cynics are made, not born.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.