Stupid Sensei
サスケ & ナルコ

If someone had told Sasuke that the only Kunoichi on his Genin team was his future wife, he would have scoffed at them for even thinking something so ridiculous. It was just his bad luck that said Kunoichi was Naruko Namikaze; SasuFemNaru, possible strange side pairings.

- - Chapter One - -
Jonin

'The monochromy blows through our colourless encounter;
I shall entrust every pain of mine to you.'

"I said no mother – I'm not going" Sasuke replied calmly in response to his mother's sudden and horrifying announcement.

"Sasuke! You'll be twenty-seven next week! You should be thinking of these things more seriously! At least go meet the girl! You might even like her!" Mikoto Uchiha persisted, following him to the shoe-box by the door to his old family home.

"Mother, I'm more interested in making sure this Genin team I've been saddled with survives until the Chunin exams right now" Sasuke replied exasperatedly, pulling on his sandals and picking up his katana from where it leant against the wall.

"You should consider yourself honoured Hokage-sama gave you a Genin team at all after that mess the clan elders caused! Your father applied you know, but that damned Council wouldn't have it!" his mother replied, catching his shoulder as he fastened his sword to the back of his flack jacket.

"That pair of old warts will be watching you like hawks Sasuke, so make sure you look after those kids!" she instructed very firmly, dusting off the shoulders of his jacket and straightening his untameable fringe with fussy hands.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at her actions, but knew better than to tryto escape without letting her fuss for a few minutes; his father didn't even bat an eyelid, instead adding a letter to the crossword he was completing. Sasuke gave him an envious glare, to which the man gave a silent smirk in response.

He'd always wondered how his father had ended up with a wife so much livelier (and ten years younger) than himself; considering how hard it was just to get out of the house even now, maybe Fugaku Uchiha simply hadn't been fast enough at running.

"Mother, I think I can look after three twelve-year-olds. I just don't want a wife alright? If that changes, I'll tell you, but let me at the very least pick the poor girl out myself. Stop fussing and go sit down – you shouldn't be moving around so much..." he replied, finally stopping her when she attempted to wipe some dirt from his cheek.

"I agree – remember what Tsunade-sama told you Mikoto. You're supposed to rest" his father intoned, speaking the most in one sentence since Sasuke had arrived to check up on his mother.

Aged forty-six, Mikoto Uchiha had been placed back on the Jonin registry once both her sons had been admitted to the ANBU; she was a skilled illusion mistress and swords-woman, outside of her generic elemental techniques. Within them, she was one of the few Jonin to have activated three elements instead of the usual two – fire, lightning, and water.

Unfortunately, she had been caught off guard by a skilled medic known to be a henchman of Orochimaru. He had nearly crippled her by cutting several of her muscles; had Tsunade Senju herself not been in the village at the time, she wouldn't be even be standing, let alone walking.

Slowly, she was beginning to rehabilitate, but that kind of injury had rendered her off duty for at least three years. Even with expensive medical treatment from the medic teams.

"Oh fine... If you're that paranoid, I'll sit down! You boys are all a set of worry-warts!" she complained, pulling his head down to kiss him on the cheek before pushing him out of the door (though not without a hug first).

"Goodbye mother" Sasuke said with slight relief, giving an inclination of his head in his father's direction before heading out onto the street.

"I'll see you tomorrow; tell Itachi to come visit when he gets back from his mission tonight, and make sure he goes to the hospital for his eye appointment on Thursday!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.

"I'll tell him, I'll tell him. I've got to go mother."

Finally letting go and allowing him to walk down the street; he waited perhaps five seconds before she predictably found something else to say.

"Remember what I said Sasuke! Don't you dare scare those poor kids out of their wits! And don't be late! If I hear word that you've turned up three hours late like Hatake-san, I'll box your ears boy!"

Really, when she said things like that, Sasuke had to wonder if his mother realized he was actually a grown man who could look after himself. He didn't think it had quite penetrated her mind that he was an adult yet... It was an eternal frustration, and it would probably get worse if he ever did find a regular girlfriend.

That being said, she was his mother, so he was obliged to humour her. Shaking his head at his mother's antics, Sasuke left the compound and headed into the village itself.

When he had been a child, the compound had been composed solely of Uchihas; after the Fourth Hokage had exposed the elders' plots of mutiny, he'd ordered the Uchihas beintegrated into the village, thinking the ostracizing within the compound walls had been part of the problem.

Sasuke hadn't really understood it much back then; he'd been thirteen when the elders and other conspirators had been sentenced to a public hanging, and had been placed in the ANBU squad guarding the underground cells with Itachi. Now though, he could see how good a decision it had been.

People were still wary of the Uchihas, but they got along much better with them than they had before; his mother had friends in the other clans now, something she'd never really had back then (She got along horribly well with Tsume Inuzuka).

The sight of the Hokage tower rose in front of him, and Sasuke quickened his pace; his mother wasn't joking when she said she would box his ears, and he could still feel such reprimands from when he was seven years old.

He had no desire whatsoever to re-live them.

Entering the Hokage's office at twelve in the afternoon, Sasuke was reunited with some of his old companions; Sakura Haruno had been his team-mate along with his brother, under the tutelage of Ibiki Morino. She was now his future sister-in-law.

Unlike his brother, who was going to retire into the T&I department after his stint as an ANBU, Sakura had not taken a liking to the interrogation arts. Instead she chose to work with Tsunade Senju herself at the hospital, and preferred simple tricks and illusions. That and a heck load of weapons; she had more shuriken than his entire graduating class put together.

Also amongst the line up of Jonin were Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, Gai, and Neji (another early riser from his graduating year). Taking his place beside Sakura, she took one look at him and laughed under her breath.

"She got you again didn't she?" the pink haired Jonin asked, re-securing her red headband atop her head; Sasuke muttered a few inaudible complaints under his breath, but stopped when the Hokage entered his office along with Shikaku Nara and Tsunade Senju.

Whilst technically not the advisers which his mother had warned him about, they did the job in their stead most of the time. The other old bats may had the position in legalities, but the Hokage had a fun habit of pretending not to hear what they said on occasion (the word 'occasion' meaning most of the time).

"My god Kakashi, you actually showed up for once?" Tsunade asked in mock surprise, earning a few titters from the room; Kakashi ignored them all and continued to read his porn book.

"Only because I told him to arrive three hours earlier than everyone else" the Hokage grinned, taking his seat behind the desk and rifling through the files on his desk.

Minato Namikaze was Konoha's Fourth Hokage, and while he had certainly earned his reputation during the third ninja war, he was best known for defeating the Kyuubi.

Sort of; technically, it had been his wife who had used her remaining life to seal the Kyuubi inside their daughter twelve years ago. Minato himself had been busy restraining the giant beast, and Sasuke's mad ancestor Madara. That last point was a secret to those who had arrived to help hold the beast off though, Sasuke being one of them.

"Alright, Asuma you've got one of the Ino-Shika-Cho trios, Kurenai, I've given you a tracking squad... Kakashi, you have a bunch of heavy hitter hopefuls – please try to pass them this time..." the Hokage started, handing out a file to each of the Jonin he had mentioned.

There was a scuffle as they stepped forward to receive the files, and then some more names Sasuke didn't recognize were read out. After receiving files of their own, some familiar names were finally called out.

"Sakura Haruno; you have an Inuzuka, a Nara, and Iruka's little sister... Neji Hyuuga; An Aburame, a Yamanaka, and Ibiki's son for you – try not to scare the poor kids again..." the Hokage called out handing the relevant folders to Sakura and Neji as they stepped forward.

The blonde man continued to call out names, going over a few things with various Jonin – things like troubled upbringings and such that needed to be taken into account. As he spoke, Sasuke had a nose at the names in the folder of his ex team-mate; Kiba Inuzuka, Shikamaru Nara, and Tenten Umino.

That was a surprise; there were several Ino-Shika-Cho teams this year, but he had been expecting Shikaku's kid to go with Inochi and Choza's, never mind an Inuzuka outside a tracking team. The Hokage must be trying a new set up of some kind... Maybe the three would train together with their families? Most of them were related so it wouldn't be surprising.

Sakura gave him a cheery wave goodbye before heading out the door, leaving Sasuke to have a sidelong glance at Neji's folder; Shino Aburame, Sai Morino, and Ino Yamanaka. Now that was a team that made more sense; it was a good set up for an investigative team of some kind, if not an interrogation one.

He'd heard of that Sai boy a few years ago; he'd been rescued from that underground ANBU organisation that Danzo controlled. His testimony had allowed Minato to put a price on Danzo's head, even if the goat had escaped. Neji had been one of those to hang back for a few words, and no doubt it was concerning Ibiki's kid.

As far as village gossip went, the Yamanaka clan had been helping him regain his emotions and understand things again. Neji gave a nod before following Sakura out of the door, leaving Sasuke by himself until he was finally the only Jonin left in the room with the blonde Hokage.

While he didn't know who would make up the last member of his first team, he could guess the other two with some degree of accuracy. The man's failure to mention the name of his own daughter and Choza's son confirmed two of them.

"Well, here's your team Sasuke... I want to go over a few things concerning them before you head for the academy. You have a somewhat complicated group, but consider it a sign of fate..." the man stated, handing Sasuke his own folder to open and examine.

Sure enough, the two names he had guessed were there in the folder; Choji Akimichi, Naruko Namikaze, and Rock Lee. He'd heard about that Lee kid too – something about being adopted by Gai a couple of years ago. He'd still been in the ANBU then, and there had been a bit of a fuss when the man had left to look after the kid properly.

"I'm guessing they have to do with your daughter?" Sasuke asked, closing the folder and looking back at his leader; he could read the rest of the folder later.

"Some of it, but the other two have their own problems too; Choji is a fairly well-rounded student but... He didn't get along with many kids outside the Nara and Yamanaka clans, what with his weight, never wanted to learn beyond the basics and his Clan Techniques. He's got promise but he has some self esteem issues... He's going to need some persuasion if he's going to develop into that potential..."

Sasuke didn't find that all that surprising; there had been an Akimichi in his graduating year with the same problem. It wasn't until all the fat had turned into muscle that people realized how strong a clan the Akimichis were – unlike most bloodlines, theirs didn't activate properly till puberty started to hit, so what became muscle would just be fat for at least another year.

Sasuke did know how to solve self-esteem problems though. His brother was older by mere minuets, but he was so far above his skill that it had been issue worthy when he was a child. They both graduated at the same time, joined the Chunin ranks, and even the ANBU at the same time, but Itachi was still ahead of him.

"Rock Lee – again, he shows promise, but he has a disease in his chakra network. He can't use his chakra for ninja techniques or illusions, and though his physical and book grades are good... He needs a lot of help. He's been getting check ups with Tsunade since Gai adopted him, but she isn't having much luck yet..."

Sasuke felt like swearing; he knew which team he had been given now. Team 7, the team with the highest and lowest graduating students. The team number was infamous for being perpetually cursed in one way or another. The village founders had been in Team 7. The third Hokage and the council members had been in Team 7. The Sannin had been in Team 7. The Hokage himself had been in Team 7. Kakashi had been in Team 7.

There was one common theme in them; something always went horribly wrong.

The first instigation had involved Hashirama Senju, Mito Uzumaki, and Madara Uchiha - that was the first disaster in the making if ever there was one. Then came the Third Hokage's team; they were all still alive, but one could hardly call their relationship friendly. Politics had killed that particular team.

And of course, after that Orochimaru went nuts with his immortality/human experimentation scheme (from which Sasuke himself, Anko, and Tenzo had only marginally escaped). Jiraiya-sama had left with sudden guilt-ridden wanderlust, and Tsunade-sama was still a drunk despite her medical professionalism.

One of the current Hokage's team-mates had been sent back to childhood after a blow to the head in the second war, a permanent resident on Konoha Hospital's Psychological Ward. His second was still in a coma he probably wouldn't wake up from. One of Kakashi's team-mates was missing, and the other was dead. Team 7 was the most cursed team in Konoha's history. It was jinxed.

He just knew there would be problems in the future, and he hadn't even heard what he was expecting on the only Kunoichi under his tutelage yet... something Minato soon rectified.

"...I don't have to tell you about Naruko's situation; you were there. The villagers don't trust the seal not to break, and I'm not around as much as I should be so... Well, despite being the best in her class, she's something of a... hell-raiser..." he started, running a frustrated hand through one side of his hair.

Sasuke snorted; hell-raiser simply wasn't a word strong enough to describe Naruko Namikaze. The Hyuugas still hadn't forgiven her for that thing with the toads, nor the Inuzukas for the scent bombs. Then there was the decoration he had woken up to that one morning all over the monument...

No doubt she skipped classes too, and that was before all the Kyuubi and political red wire hanging around her came to light. She wasn't just inheriting her father's bloodline, but her mother's too, and both were rather coveted in foreign villages... Dear gods of Fire, why had he chosen this year to leave the ANBU for Jonin?

"...the reason I assigned you as her teacher is because of your bloodline; it would be stupid not to. Don't take that the wrong way – it means I trust you enough to let you handle the Kyuubi should her emotions get the best of her. The seal won't fail, but it was designed for Jinchuriki in the first place, so she will be able to use it eventually. I have to take precautions" the Hokage finished.

Sasuke had thought of that, but he understood it; it would be stupid to get into a huff simply because his bloodline was a factor in his appointment. That was how missions worked after all. His mad ancestor had already proved that the Sharingan could control the Kyuubi into attacking Konoha, so why not do the same in reverse?

"I understand sir" Sasuke replied; the man glanced at him, and then his face gained a weary smile as he pulled a stack of paperwork forward.

"In that case, I think you should start heading on over to the academy; their lunch break is finishing soon and you wouldn't want to be late" he stated, silently but politely dismissing him.

Sasuke remembered his mother's threat about boxing his ears earlier and shivered.
No; he certainly did not want to be late.

I know, I promised this story ages ago in my Poll. It's been lingering on my computer begging to be uploaded even though it isn't finished. Probably because it hasn't been uploaded. I have more interest in stories that are already uploaded in terms of finishing them so...

For the sake of clarification, Sasuke and Itachi aren't Identical twins, just fraternal ones, so they still look different.

Song quote is from 'Monochrome no Kiss' by SID.
Kuroshitsuji fans may know it XD

Hope you like :)
Nat.
xxx

This chapter was Beta'd by the fantastic XxJeanettexX. Huge virtual hugs and cookies to her for all the effort :)