One Piece chapters 574 and 590 made me honest-to-gawd cry.

Sarcasm gets me through the day.

Also, I'm doing this weird thing where I don't let got of the "shift key" until the second letter of the word.

Pen name: Damage Report

Real name: Kelly

Status:Cookie

Age: 16

Means of communication:email

Favorite ff types: Humor with a touch of romance.

Favorite Youtuber: Shanedawsontv and Whatthebuck and Sxephil (He's definitely not sexy~) and Kevjumba and not just because he's Asian! It's because he once got an elbow zit.

Favorite song: Belle of the Boulevard by Dashboard Confessional, Someday by Rob Tomas

Favorite Artist: Lily Allen

Favorite Manga: GinTama by Sorachi Hideaki

Appearance: Short. Asian. Smiling.

Pet Peeve: When someone rates my writing low without giving me a reason/ correcting anything. (I don't mean you, I mean at school. We peer review.)

Motto: Life would be so much easier if I knew how to fly. You know, metaphorically. (While I was typing "fly", I accidentally typed "fuck")

The previous one was so SAD SACK, I just had to replace it. I sound like I was begging for pity. Gross.

Update

So this is the most ironic thing ever. I visited my profile for the first time and I saw something that made me want to puke. In the corner of your profile, they usually have an ad. We'll get back to that later, but here's some more information on me. I don't like Twilight. I think it's Stephenie Meyer's masturbatory aid and that's just gross. I also hate Robert Pattinson. He's not that great looking and has the worst hair in the history of bad hair. (I saw a clip in the New Moon commercial where he's shirtless, and I was halfway done dialing a law office to sue Summit for emotional damage. Then I remembered I don't have lawyer money.) Back to the story, I was on my profile for the first time, and what do you think I saw? A Youtube video ad with it thumbnailed at ugly Cullen/Pattinson. It was as if the Cullenism(There is such a thing!) 'gods' were punishing me. On MY profile of all things. Gawd.

I just got back from my CTY summer program. It was so much fun, and going there was bittersweet. Three weeks is a bitch amount of time for me to get so attached to all the people in my hall and then some just to have them ripped away from me. I'm not going to lie, I'm slightly depressed right now.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in.If you are part of the five percent who aren't,copy this,and paste it to your profile,and add your name to this list.AnimeKittyCafe,Hyperactivly Bored,Gem W,Bara-Minamino,Yavie Aelinel,Crazy Billie Joe loving freak,shadow929,The astrology Nerd,brown-eyed angelofmusic,piratesswriter/fairy to be,The gypsy-pirate queen,watching-wishing-waiting,100- Harry- Potter-,Dark Hershey, Kitsuru, DamageReport

If you've ever pulled a door that says push, or pushed a door that said pull, PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have OORFS (Over Obsessive Rabid Fangirl Syndrome) And proud of it, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you never want to change, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it and you don't have to be gay to do so. I'm not, but I will stand up against anyone who has a problem with homosexuality.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. (I'm not going to lie, this one is kind of true. )
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (Gorgeous, actually.)
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt).
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.(That's my other half. And I hate tea and cricket and I don't sound posh. trust me)
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast. (I curse, A LOT.)
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a CUTTER so I MUST want to commit SUICIDE.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I have been ABUSED, so I MUST be an abuser

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. (except I'm not crazy, I'm INSANE!)

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

Special K cereal with all the fixings. (that just means milk)

2. Where was your profile picture taken?

from the web

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?

of course, but while majorly sucking at it.

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.

Aminah, dear

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?

one something in the morning. reading in bed.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?

of course

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

no :(

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?

pretty sure its adrienne

9. Do you believe exs can be friends?

of course

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?

that you need a doctor after drinking it. a surgeon to amputate your tongue and a psychiatrist for a psych consult to see if you're suicidal

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?

after verbal abuse

12. Who took your profile picture?

well, as i stated before i found it on a website so...

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Adrienne. we had just put make up on her

14. Was yesterday better than today?

majorly. no saturday school

15. Can you live a day without TV?

of course...on tuesdays, saturdays, and maybe friday

16. Are you upset about anything?

as always @_@

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

a DUHH statement

18. Are you a bad influence?

at times, maybe. pretty much depends :)

19. Night out or night in?

deff, night out

20. What items could you not go without during the day?

some one to poke me awake

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

never

22. What does the last text message in your cell phone inbox say?

JULIA CLAIMING he didn't call me.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?

in the sounds of my bff JULIA, Blegh(Yes. I even changed your name on FFN.)

24. Do you hate any one?

with a passion unknown to me otherwise

25. If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?

ff updates. i still use email, even if that makes me OLD FASHIONED

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?

no, because of...poppy seed muffins...the giant...costco ones!

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

yes, albeit sarcastically

28. What song is stuck in your head?

Defying Gravity, the Kurt version on Glee

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m, who do you want it to be?

Someone with a gun so I can shoot them for waking me up at two in the freakin' morning.

30. Do you want to have grandkids before you’re 50?

hopefully, if my kid is not under aged.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow.

sleep

32. Do you think too much or too little?

too much.

33. Do you smile a lot?

haha, favorite activity :D

Monday is 'State the Obvious' Day. Copy and Paste if you do this EVERYDAY.

Thursday is 'Kanye West Day'. That means you do everything IN CAPS LOCK. Copy and paste if you hate his guts. But secretly loves to mock him.

I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Life isn't measured by the amount of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm also the kind of girl who laughs at her own jokes while others stare.

I have smelled the worst smell on Earth. Abercrombie and Fitch has a perfume and cologne. My eyes well with unshed tears just thinking about it! I am not kidding. My brother has no olfactory cells. And no taste.

95 of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN/ROBERT PATTINSON at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and past into your profile if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!"

Some Random Things I Hold A Deep And Abiding Love For

Pineapples

Pirates

Cashews

Historical periods/drama/books

Drama

cookies

Korean music

"gifted" (They gave me a certificate!)

Grapefruit smell

Clinique's "Happy"

Toner

Emily/Julia (Who's "real" name is Richard. Whatever.) /Cindy/Adrienne/Aminah (THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!!)

Copy machines

People who are more book-smart than me and have no backbone.

My pride

Mr. Bean

Naivety

Lady GaGa

This was a "Talk-to-strangers" conversation I had.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: horrny tell me sex storie

You: yhere was once this lonely boy.

You: he was 15

Stranger: intense

You: he got bad grades in school

You: and he took viagra on time before his tutor came

You: his teacher was the hottest thing on earth.

Stranger: keeepe gooingg

You: gladyou like it

You: she was in college and needed money

You: long story short,

You: they did the naughty

You: and she got pregant

You: and then she needed even more money

You: so then they did it some more

You: then he found a wife

You: they still did it

You: and that's the story of tiger woods

Stranger: SWEET

Your conversational partner has disconnected

That was so cruel! He got what he wanted from me and then he couldn't drop me faster if I was HIV positive and tried to make him drink my blood. This is WORD-FOR-WORD, so typos are expected. This was co-penned by Julia/Aminah/Adrienne.