"There is precious little in civilisation to appeal to a Yeti."
- Sir Edmund Hillary

So, Yeti, what on Earth is happening with your fics?

I'm glad you asked, Anon, as now I have the perfect oportunity to tell you all about my excuse of the past year: HSC (those final highschool exams that the kids in Home and Away do). This is now OVER, which is good. This means Fic is Coming.

So, you're actually going to finish Birds of a Feather?

That's the plan. After I put the finishing touches on a few one-shots I've been working on for a while I will pour my heart, soul and bodily juices into getting the last four chapters of BoaF up, and then revamping the entire thing. I will NOT be making BoaF Canon-compliant, because that would be impossible, but I will be fixing up the more blatant parts where I am kicking my 14-yr-old self.

I am actually you, so I know that BoaF is meant to have a sequel, is this happening?

I have no idea, frankly. This is why BoaF has been taking so long - I've been playing around with different endings, one resolved, and one in preparation of having a sequel. The sequel has a lot of juice to it, and possibly even some Holly/Artemis, and for those reasons I would like to write it. However, with how BoaF stands, encroaching on its fourth year, I don't know if I should commit myself to another novel-length fic.

What about Forty-Two? I want my dose of Artler loving!

PTerry (or possibly GNeil) once said that if you don't know where a story is going after 10 000 words you'll never know where it's going. I have 20 000 words of 42 and... Well, I'm working on it. The Butler sections are coming along remarkably well, but there is, so far, no over-arching plot. Which really means There Is No Plot. It's sort of like there being No Spoon, but more problematic

What's this Fanfic100 thing?

Fanfic100 involves claiming a fandom/pairing and then writing 100 fics to 100 prompts. I have claimed both Artemis Fowl: General Series, and Discworld: Death, so expect 100 fics, ficlets and drabbles of those within the next six months or so.

Wow! You've finally done what you've been threatening to do for years and branched beyond AF!

Yes, I have, isn't it fun?

The Big Project is, of course:

The Chrestomanci Novel

This is currently getting two hours of Planning per day. It's filled with Gods, Goddesses, kidnapping, merging worlds, and completely lacks in child genii. I have flipped through encyclopedias, raided gods from all major religions, and gained sufficient knowledge on various subjects in order to add to wikipedia.

The Plan is to Finish BoaF tick, and then start on The Chrestomanci Novel. My Stepmum has orders to check on my progress, and so I will be forced to write 1500-2000 words/day for the 40 days after I finish sufficient planning so that I feel I can start writing and never stop.

The Chrestomanci Novel should take me out December through Janurary.

On this note, are there any Chrestomanci fans who'd like an unpaying job as ideas-beta?

Chrestomanci and Discworld. Are there any other fandoms which should be warned of your coming?

His Dark Materials (some ficlets and one-shots, as well as an Artemis/Will Parry slashfic), some Discworld Vimes fic, Howl's Moving Castle (also Diana Wynne Jones), and a few ficlets for The Sandman.

And all those Artemis Fowl one-shots you promised months ago...

One-shotting is fun, but takes a lot more out of me than novelling. (Weird, but true, because I spend a lot more time editting and playing with styles, formatting, and structure.) Some are coming, some are not, hopefully you'll like what does come, when it eventually comes.

You can be sure of a co-write with Kitty Rainbow, a flik'd, fantastic Christmas Fic. We started it in 2002, but finally have the time, inclination and bullying power to actually finish it. Deck the halls with bowels of Holly is probably as tasteless as it gets.

Anything else...

Look both ways before crossing the road, and stop talking about The Bird Flu Pandemic as being inevitable.

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I'm also a mod on Criminality (http://), which is a lovely AF fanfic archive, where we screen fics and have scary conversations in the forums. Go there, you shall find quality. We also need you to recommend any fics which you think are good enough to be archived on there. You can do this by sending an email to criminality-submit@, by leaving a message on the Criminality yahoogroup (http:///group/criminality/), or by leaving a message on the Criminality forums, (http:///cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi). Please do. (The Mary Sue Litmus Test can also be found at http:///litmus_test.html)

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Come one, come all, to The Orion Awards -http://. A sister-site to http:// and an extension of the Criminality crew's endevour to spread the news of quality Artemis Fowl fanfiction to the fandom. As the site is a WIP, we're doing a great deal of the work involved on and Criminality, hense the Orion Awards C2 group.

With the Orion Awards we aim to acknowledge those fics which are the best in their genre or category, with a fair and comprehensive voting and judging system. Unfortunately, we don't know about the fics unless you tell us of your favourite as well as what category/ies you believe it best fits into, which you can do through email (to myself, or to Liz-Beth37) . If the fiction is archived on it will be added to the archive of the Orion Awards C2 group. In time there will be a on-site recommendation system, but until this occurs we would appreciate your emailed recommendations.

The categories a fiction can be nominated for are as follows:

Genre
Best Het Romance Fic - The het must be the main part of the fic.
Best Slash Romance Fic - The slash must be the main part of the fic.
Best Alternate Universe Fic - s/e
Best Speculative Fiction - That is, science fiction and/or fantasy.
Best Action/Adventure Fic - s/e
Best Humour Fic - That is, non-parody humour.
Best Parody Fic - s/e
Best Drama Fic - s/e
Best Angst Fic - s/e
Best Crossover Fic- s/e
Best Miscellaneous Genre Fic - Includes Mystery, Horror, PWP, and General; fics should only be nominated for this if they do not fit under any other genre.
Best Overall Fic - Characterisation, plot, writing style, OC's (if applicable), and technicalities (spelling, punctuation, grammar, canon details).

Type
Best Short Fic - That is, a one-shot, drabble(s), or ficlet.
Best Work In Progress Chaptered Fic - s/e
Best Completed Chaptered Fic - s/e
Best Songfic - s/e

Single-Aspect
Best Original Character - Not only on lack of Sue-ism, but also three-dimensional.
Best/Most Memorable Line - s/e
Best Overall Characterisation - s/e
Best Concept/Idea - Originality, realism, and evidence of research/planning must all be considered.

People's Choice
Best Overall Fic - Characterisation, plot, writing style, OC's (if applicable), and technicalities (spelling, punctuation, grammar, canon details).
Best Relationship Fic - Can be either het or slash; again, the ship must be the main part of the fic.
Best/Most Memorable Line - s/e

Thank you for your time.