~* My Hero ~ *

People who though the wrath of Zeus was the worst temper to invoke clearly never had accidently taken a chunk out of a tree in front of a forest nymph before.

"I'm so sorry," Percy repeated, desperately trying to stem the seemingly never ending flow of name calling and berating coming from the tree nymph's, Phoebe, mouth. "But it wasn't your tree, right? No harm done – "

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Phoebe's usually remarkably pretty face twisted, her lovely olive skin darkening in a not so lovely way as she launched into a new attack.

"No harm done? No harm done? That fate of even a single tree affects the entire forest! How dare you – "

Percy fought the urge to groan, staring sadly at the tree in question, a slash marring its otherwise scar free and strong trunk from where Riptide tore through it only moments ago. Percy didn't think he ever regretted anything more than that stupid little, non-threatening cut. Seriously, the tree was fine. Give it, like, five months or so and new bark would completely cover the cut. He didn't think Phoebe would appreciate this assessment though, so he kept his mouth shut. She already didn't look like she was going to let him go anytime soon. He didn't want to add any kindling to that flame...which was probably an insensitive metaphor.

Percy dared to glare over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at Leo, who was gleefully sneaking away. It was all his fault – he was the one who challenged Percy to the foolhardy dare that ended with the superficial mutilation of the apparently all important tree. And he managed to shove all the blame on Percy before escaping. Percy tried to push all his feelings of ill-will into the glare, promising swift and brutal retribution for this betrayal. Leo's answering grin could have cut a hundred trees with its sharpness. Any further murderous thoughts were cut off as Phoebe demanded his attention again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the willful destruction of my diminishing home, which you took part in, boring you?" Phoebe hissed, jabbing her finger sharply into his chest.

"That's not – " Percy tried to deny, his voice dangerously close to a whine. "I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's home – "

"Oh, that's what they always say," Phoebe snarled, looking alarmingly ferocious for a normally peace-loving nymph.

The situation was obviously out of his hands. He tried desperately to salvage it, but Phoebe angrily spoke over him and, after a few painstaking minutes, he decided the best course of action would be to just let the storm wash over him. The resigned thought barely crossed his mind, his shoulders slumping and head bowing in defeat when he caught sight of a quick flash of gold. He barely had enough time to realize that the rapidly approaching object was actually Jason and quell his automatic 'fight, danger' response before his friend was upon him.

"He – "

The greeting was sharply cut off as the world suddenly tilted, his legs being literally swept out from under him, an arm under his knees and another supporting his back. He only got a flash of Phoebe's surprised face before his vision was filled with the great blue expanse of the sky.

" – ey"

The end of his greeting was cut off as sharply as the first half as his ascent took a rapid downturn and suddenly his body was colliding with the ground. Well, kind of. Jason actually broke his fall.

"What the hades Jason?" Percy complained once he got his breath back.

He shoved himself up onto his elbows, ignoring the grunt and whoosh of air from his friend's sternum as he jabbed his elbows into the blond in an effort to roll off him. Percy finally managed to sit up, frowning at his still prone friend.

"Ow," Jason complained, rubbing his chest where Percy landed. He pushed himself into a sitting position as well, grumbling a little. He looked torn between embarrassment and irritation as he waved a hand, "Leo said you needed rescuing. I was going to heroically sweep in and save you."

"By dropping me?" Percy asked, unimpressed.

"By dramatically sweeping you off your feet and carrying you away like the damsel in distress you are!" Jason huffed, offended. He paused, making a face. "I wasn't expecting you to be so heavy."

"Hey!" Percy objected, drawing back in offense. "Are you calling me fat? I'll have you know that I'm one hundred percent lean muscle."

Percy patted his stomach, then frowned as he pinched the underlying skin, "And maybe a couple dozen blue cookies or so... But you know what, obviously the problem here is that you're just weak!"

Phoebe gawked down at them, eyes wide in disbelief but the boys ignored her. Instead, Jason angrily scoffed, shoving Percy's shoulder.

"The problem is your weight. There's nothing wrong with my strength! You definitely couldn't even lift me off the ground!"

"Are you calling yourself fat?"

"No, I'm calling you weak!"

"Is that a challenge Grace? So help me I will – "

Phoebe, who had been standing frozen where they left her, suddenly turned and the movement caught Percy's short attention so even as he vaguely challenged Jason, he twisted around to see what drew the nymph's gaze. It was Annabeth, walking towards them with an exasperated look on her face, which was a common expression when dealing with him. She gave Phoebe an apologetic smile as she slid up to the boys, whose conversation died out of self-preservation at her approach.

"Annabeth," Percy called, unsure if the next words out of his mouth were going to be in defense of the superficially damaged tree or to demand that she vouch for his strength. But apparently nobody was going to let him finish a sentence today because Annabeth merely reached down and he automatically shut up as he gave her his hand.

He expected her to pull him to his feet so he was wholly unprepared for what came next. Annabeth grabbed his arm, slinging it around her neck as she ducked low and bodily flipped him onto her shoulders in a fireman's hold. Then, without missing a beat, she straightened up and kept walking, Percy still slung over her shoulders. The son of Poseidon blinked at the ground in mild surprise before recovering himself enough to lifted his head and meet Jason and Phoebe's gaping, disbelieving faces.

Percy scoffed, "And you thought I was heavy. Weak."

Beneath him, he could feel Annabeth laughing. It brought a wide grin to his face as the distance between them and Jason's still gaping face increased.

"My knight in shining armor," Percy said fondly, knowing he sounded ridiculously besotted and not caring in the slightest bit. "You're the best girlfriend ever and the strongest person I know."

"I know," came Annabeth's smug reply.

A/n What is this? I'm not entirely sure but it was cute and funny (at least to me) and I have all but forgotten what sleep feels like. Maybe I'm the only one who finds the image of Jason dropping Percy on his butt while trying to be all heroic absolutely hysterical. I should get some sleep. Please let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed ~*