"Good Christian people, I am come hither to die, for according to the law and by the law I am judged to die, and therefore I will speak nothing against it. I am come hither to accuse no man, nor to speak anything of that, whereof I am accused and condemned to die, but I pray God save the king and send him long to reign over you, for a gentler nor a more merciful prince was there never: and to me he was ever a good, a gentle and sovereign lord. And if any person will meddle of my cause, I require them to judge the best. And thus I take my leave of the world and of you all and I heartily desire you all to pray for me. O Lord have mercy on me, to God I commend my soul." The people witnessing my murder let out a roar of short cheer, a few yelling here or there to bless my soul, hail Queen Anne, peace be with you, my lady. But I drowned it all out.
How could Henry be doing this to me? Just to marry that milky faced girl? Yes, I usurped Katherine's position, but she left with her life. Yes, she left in some degree of shame and was forced to remain in obscurity. But she also left with her dignity, and pride, insisting she was still Queen of England. But she also left with her life! Why am I to be killed? I put everything at risk and ruined my good name just to be with him, to love him with all my heart and soul and I am being killed for loving him. What has that harlot put at risk beside my favor and good treatment of her? I recall now that Henry had once asked me if I were happy, the most happy. I had told him that the only way I would ever be unhappy were if he were to stop loving me. He'd replied by saying he'd die first. It now looks as though it's the other way around; I am the one who's dying. I refocused in on the crowd, now aware that my speech and calming was done. It was time to die. I took off my jewelry, handing it to my more loyal ladies. I tied my hair, securely in its bun, in a cap. Untying it from my waist I took the pouch of a generous amount of pounds and handed it to the executioner. I forgave him before he could even ask, and thanked him for his kindness of coming all this way. I knelt upright, managing to keep erect as I said my final prayers, in the French way of executions. I came into this whirlwind, quick paced; backstabbing life with style and by no means shall I leave without the same amount of flare. I looked out to the people, softening my face. If it should be frozen in time after this, I don't want it to look distraught. I wish to look as peaceful as possible. The people began to drop gracefully to the ground in deep bows and curtsies, which puzzled me. Technically I am not the true queen anymore; they don't owe me this respect. I might still be the Marques of Pembroke but they don't need to bow at all, much less so low. I scan the crowd and my tired eyes fall on Henry, haughty as ever. His chest is puffed with pride and importance as he strides up to the scaffold.
"Lady Anne Boleyn, Marques of Pembroke. Upon further inspections of the crimes Mark Smeaton, your brother, and yourself have been accused of, they've been proven false. But there is still no proof of your being pure before we were wed. Our marriage is going to be annulled when I find solid grounds for it and you are not to return to Court. You are to return to Pembroke and remain in obscurity there. Come, a carriage is waiting to take you and your trunks are all packed." I tried to hide my shock and utter surprise. George was alive! George was to live! And I as well! I am being allowed my life! I am not to die for the lies of overly ambitious courtiers and families! I gather myself, removing the cap upon my head in doing so. I stand and take a few short breaths.
"I cannot thank Your Majesty enough. You are indeed a most gracious king and sovereign lord. What of my family, they are not to return to Court either I trust?" the small crowd had already been dismissed and my Ladies, the executioner, Henry and I were the only ones left as we descended from the scaffold.
"We shall talk in a minute, Marques Anne." I nod shortly before turning to thank my ladies for all they have done. I am almost sure they shall not be coming with me to Pembroke.
"My Lady! Your pouch." The executioner tries to hand me back the money, but I gently push it towards him.
"Keep it, sir. Please, consider it a gift from me as a show of thanks. You did travel out of your way." He looks confused before nodding and backing away.
"Why do you look so gay, Lady Anne?"
"I had intended to die in a certain degree of style and grace. Now, please, if you will, I am still slightly disoriented and confused as to what has happened in my absence. What new information had come forward? What is to become of my family? And…what of Elizabeth? My beautiful baby girl…" thinking of my little Elizabeth was enough to keep me calm and quiet. I felt horrible for my little girl. What if Henry hadn't come? She'd be without a mother or mother figure. No doubt that harlot would treat her terribly, for she was in favor of the Spanish princess. And she'd become just like Mary, ignored and unloved by her male-hungry father. The last time my beautiful princess had seen me I was a wreck, yelling and screaming and begging for Henry's love and favor.
"The accuser's only proof of your witchery was a sixth finger and body marks on your back. I have never seen either in the many times we had lain together. Katherine's heart had not been blackened by foul practices but by some unhealthy air from where she was sent, she'd been sick for far too long. On the charges of adultery I found Mark Smeaton battered. He signed an oath stating that he'd never known you carnally. He'd only been tortured and done anything to make it stop. On the charges of incest, Cranmer had overheard your brother's wife telling another Lady about her guilt because she'd never truly known George to be with you. Nan had supported this by saying that you two were never out of her own eye and only shared as much as a kiss on the cheek. Your father is being allowed to stay, but George left immediately for Hever. He'd mentioned something about your mother being sickly. And for all I am told Mary is still living happily with her lowly husband."
"Your Majesty, if I may interject," I looked to him for his approval to continue, he dipped his head low for a short second before I continued. "I don't think it'd be wise to keep my father at Court."
"And why not?"
"He's quite the ambitious man. He and my uncle were always putting me under various degrees of stress and pressure warning me of your power over me, telling me it was too much at times, telling me to exile certain people. They gained me a few enemies that would've smiled at the thought of seeing my head roll." I looked down as he stayed quiet.
"Maybe you wouldn't've lost my boy if it weren't for them then? Absolutely not. They shall be dismissed. I thank you for being straightforward with me, Marques."
"You never answered my last question, Henry. What is to become of my daughter?" I was tired of calling him by his formal title. I had known him as Henry through seven years of companionship and three years of marriage. I am far too accustomed to it now.
"Our daughter, Anne! Elizabeth is mine too!" he was upset now. At least I am assured that he loves Elizabeth. "She is to remain at Hatfield as a royal child. However she is a bastard as well. She hasn't been told much except that she is to no longer to call you by certain names." I nod.
"When shall I be allowed to see her? I've missed her terribly."
"I know you have, Anne. But you are not yet allowed to see her. You coddle her so. She needs some form of separation and isolation from such strong feeling so she may grow into a respectable young lady. Once Jane bears my son, I plan on marrying her off to a dauphin." I smile wryly to myself. He knew how much I favored the French.
"Yet she is declared a bastard. Yet she'd still be under the children you have with Mistress Seymour."
"Anne, remember your place. You are forever beneath her from this point on. We are to be married as soon as our marriage is formally over. She'll not be crowned Queen formally until after she bears me my son, which won't take very long considering she's already two months along. But she is to be my legal wife and fulfill the position and title of Queen informally." I tried to swallow my temper. He's being generous, Anne. Control your temper. If you had before maybe he would still love you, and not the milky faced girl. Control your temper, Anne. Think of Elizabeth. She may be subject to Henry's wrath and consequence if I make use of my sharp tongue with Henry. The thoughts of my baby girl made me feel better already.
"Yes, Your Majest-" I passed out. I suppose Father was wrong, and Mother had always been right. Keeping your highly volatile emotions in like this isn't entirely healthy. I must still be quite drained and distressed from coming within an inch to my death. The last thing I remember were so many footsteps, all running toward me. "Lady Anne!" rang through my ears as the world went black.
When I woke up I was in my old chambers. True to Henry's word all my things had been moved out. But none on Mistress Seymour's were moved in yet. I suppose the milky faced girl prefers lighter colors than Katherine and I did. How frivolous. I enjoy light colors also, for certain occasions I even prefer them, but not for all the time. Darker, deeper colors bring about a sense of solemnity, of regality. Bright colors are nice but they do nothing for me. A few of my old Ladies stood around me, looking fearful. Among them were Nan and Madge. They were so loyal. Out of all I think I should miss them the most. They heaved a sigh of what I was assuming was relief before Nan shooed them away to go do as they had been told, sending Madge for the physician and Henry. She sat by me on the bed feeling my forehead and stroking my hair a bit.
"Thank god you're finally awake. The doctors were afraid you might stay in a sleeplike trance for weeks, maybe even forever. His Majesty was not at all pleased, he's been in a terrible temper for as long as you've been ill. The only person he'll see is the Duke of Suffolk." Her tone was of reproach and she was shaking her head and clicking her tongue.
"And how long exactly have I been ill?"
"My Lady, you have been in that trance of yours for four days time now."
"Why was Henry in such a foul mood? You've heard the news! I'm lucky to have my head. Everyone has heard the news. He no longer loves me like I do him. I am not going to be his wife for much longer."
"His Majesty caught you before you had hit the ground. He had thought you had died in his arms. He'd run into here as I was packing, yelling for us to fetch the physician who assured the king you were living. He and the doctors will tell you everything else. Right now I just have to make sure Mistress Jane's ladies don't screw up their tasks."
"You are not of her household, Nan? But you were born to be at Court."
"I refused. Being at Court wasn't worth sacrificing my own mistress whom I feel such allegiance to. I refused to be in her household and His Majesty allowed me to remain in yours, if that should please you."
"Oh Nan of course it does!" she smiled before leaving my bedchamber.
What could be so wrong with me that Henry would care now? Am I truly dying? I doubt it. He'd already signed a death warrant for me; I don't suppose actually burying me would've been of much consequence to him. I just wish to be out of this hellish nightmare and to get to my new home for some peace. If only I could go back in time, I would've mourned shortly for the loss of Henry Percy and simply moved on to marry another. I would've never opened myself to Henry. However much I love him now, all it causes is hurt. Henry's love is so fickle and I'm only seeing it again now that it has happened to me. Love truly does blind a person at times. I suppose it's so you only see the good in the one you love, so that you're protected from their obvious faults because you just want to be able to love them to no objection. I wonder what faults of mine Henry was blinded of. My temper, maybe? I did often have fits of anger and stubbornness. I'd often a time yell at him, and by the time he'd calmed me down from my yelling, I'd forgotten what I'd been so angry about. He used to love all my opinions and temper fits so much until he began to lust after that pale-faced whore. She's simply so bland. Katherine at least had fiery Spanish blood in her, making her all the more irksome to me because they, too, were known for being stubborn as mules. But at least she looked somewhat exotic. I am by no means bland. In fact Lady Seymour is the complete opposite of me. Maybe that's what attracted Henry so. A total of ten years we spent together and he'd gotten bored with me? When I was a girl I was often given little poppet's to keep me occupied while George and Mary were at their lessons. I would get bored with one, and demand another. I'd tuck the old one in a trunk, neatly, and only look back when I was refused a new one. I didn't tear them apart, like Henry has done with my heart and soul, or pop their little heads off. I set them aside.
"Anne! Lady Anne! Are you feeling alright?"
"Yes, Your Highness. I feel perfectly well. I thank you for showing such concern. Dr. Linacre I assure you I don't need to be inspected, I was simply under severe emotional stress." I turned to look at Dr. Linacre who simply dug through his bag looking for something.
"I realize this Lady Boleyn, but you still need to be examined. When I saw you the first time and you were unconscious I noticed some slight abnormalities and wish to have a further inspection of them. Your Majesty, are you staying?"
"Yes, yes I wish to stay with the Lady Anne. I shall be her emotional support for whatever is happening with her." He stated solemnly, grasping my hand in his. I felt utterly tempted to pull it away. If he thinks to toss me aside he'd better stop showing compassion and expect a certain degree of coldness from me. After what seemed like a lifetime of poking and prodding and unintelligible noises on the doctor's part, he finally began to pack up his things, smiling like a fool. He grabbed a sheet of parchment and began scribbling away at it before handing it to Henry. It seemed to be a list of instructions for something.
"Lady Anne Boleyn, Marques of Pembroke, I am proud to announce you are approximately four months pregnant. 'Tis a very good thing you didn't die or the baby would've went right along with you. Considering your prior physical health, the plague, Lady Elizabeth, and several miscarriages, this pregnancy is expected to be difficult and you'll be suspended to your bed for most of it. Nothing is to put you under stress as per usual, and this time that is a strict order and not simply regularity. I've given the instructions all to His Majesty. Good day to you and congratulations." He left smiling to himself still and I wondered what made him so happy. Why is he so happy for me? I am going to be unwed and pregnant! It's undoubtedly Henry's, but if Elizabeth, whom he adores, is declared a bastard, what's to keep him from not even recognizing the unborn child in me?
"Henry, I wish to go home now. I wish to begin my journey to Pembroke. I don't need anyone to know of my…pregnancy." He looked dazed. Dazed and confused but also a bit guilty. He'd better be. If I had been killed so would this baby.
"No, Anne. You're to remain here in your old apartments. I want you to be in comfort and travelling won't do that for you. For the remainder of this month and part of the next, you are free to roam around as you like but after that you'd be in your third month and just beginning to show. You'll stay here the entire duration of your pregnancy…I shan't make any formal announcement. I'll have to simply make Cromwell aware of what's going on. And Jane as well. This will be difficult."
I sighed and looked up from my embroidery. Henry was pretending to read a book in his lap as he snuck looks at me every five minutes. He has hardly left my side since Dr. Linacre delivered the news that I was four months along. I felt like such an idiot to not have noticing the symptoms. But in my defense, I had been distressed and preoccupied. Preoccupied with fighting for the love of my husband, fighting for my life and reputation, fighting for the safety of the position of my daughter, Elizabeth. How was I supposed to keep track of me eating or bleeding habits when such pressing matters are on my mind. I was only two months ahead of Jane. She was not showing an inch and I was only sporting a small bump. Henry had barely left my company. Whether I was eating, reading, taking a walk, or dancing, he always managed to be there. It was beginning to grow tiresome. Why does he have to pretend like he's my shadow when he could be doing something more important? Like finding a different loophole in our marriage. Of course I am the last one to want a divorce for us; I love Henry with all my being. My heart was sold to him. But I had also promised myself very young that I would never allow myself to be trapped in a loveless marriage. And whether I like to admit it or not, I am. Henry always could read my mind.
"The annulment is going to take quite a while." He settles his eyes on mine and heaves a sigh. "Legally you are still my wife, the annulment was supposed to be finalized by your death, seeing as I can't have been married to a dead woman. But seeing as you are still my wife and now you're pregnant we can't finalize or solidify anything until we make sure that you aren't carrying my son."
"Why? It couldn't be that hard to divorce a pregnant woman. You are head of church and state, Henry, you can find a way." He used to take my suggestions and opinions to heart. Let us pray that he still does.
"Oh so now you're so eager to get rid of me, Anne! Why is it that when I was the one who wanted to get out of our barren and accursed marriage you were so adamant on keeping it?" I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths. Father and Uncle are already gone from court, I don't need anyone else stressing me out and wearing me down. I placed a hand on my bump and was finally calm.
"Because I love you so much. It's hard having to watch as your heart and soul falls out of love with you and moves on to love another. You were adamant on tearing our small family apart. It's all in the past now though. I have to ask you something."
"What." His tone was harsh, unforgiving, terse, and I hate to admit it but I'm already used to it. It has become so easy for me to ignore.
"I wish to have Elizabeth and the Lady Mary brought to me. If I am to be confined to these dismal apartments, I may as well have company. Let the Lady Bryan stay, I just wish for your daughters."
"Fine. I shall make the arrangements while you are having your dinner. But I do not see any reason to bring the Lady Mary. She refuses to sign the oath when you were my legitimate wife and queen, I don't see why she should sign it when you aren't for much longer."
I don't want her to sign the damned oath anymore. I don't need her to. I need her company. Mary's condition was one of the few things I had made a mistake in when I was rising to the top. She was his first daughter, first everything. He had loved her more than anything in the world. The flame his Henry's heart for his little girl may not be as bright anymore, but it is definitely not smoked out. Henry loves all his children. He puts them above all else in his kingdom. Where I saw Mary as an enemy, I should've seen an ally. I should've comforted her, held her dear, and consoled her after her mother's death. I should've worked with my power over Henry to be more compassionate to her. I want her forgiveness. I pray to God regularly for repentance, it's about time I seek repentance out from the people I had wronged in my quest to be loved by Henry. Starting with his eldest daughter and ending with the deceased Wolsey. I will do better given this second chance.