My apologies for the length of this one; it was originally intended to be only a tad bigger than Ed but apparently it drank its milk...

Anyways, this chapter is set just after the Barry the Chopper episode, when Ed's still a bit fragile and shaky. And 12. What a great adolesence... Heh. This would also be my first (uploaded) venture into the FMA fandom, but by no means my last. Expect to be gradually and subtley spammed from here on. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Put it this way - if I was Hiromu Arakawa, I wouldn't be putting fanfics on the net now, would I?

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The office was unusually silent; the soldiers were working quietly, Alphonse and Winry were playing cards, and Edward was sitting on the window ledge, staring out at the world beyond the clear panes of glass. Roy glanced over at him every so often, a troubled frown appearing on his face each time. To be so still, so quiet, while inside the military building just wasn't like Edward – normally he would have stalked in, gotten his orders for the day, argued with the Lieutenant Colonel and stormed out, not silently sit with his back pressed against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around his legs.

"YES!" a triumphant shout broke the quiet of the office; Winry had jumped up and was pointing one finger at the empty suit of armour opposite. "You owe me a new wrench now!"

"What about all the times I beat you?" Alphonse argued.

"They built up and I earned a consolation prize!"

"You've learnt how to cheat from Brother, haven't you?"

The two continued to bicker for a while, oblivious to the fact that three sets of eyes were watching them; Havoc, Breda and Fuery were staring at them with blank expressions that slowly gave way to amusement. Edward was still staring out the window, a hint of sadness on his features. Roy was watching him with hidden concern and Riza was watching the Lieutenant Colonel, just waiting for him to give her the sign she needed.

"Ed, what d'you think?" Winry sighed eventually, turning towards figure on the window ledge. There was silence for a moment before the boy reacted.

"So long as you don't use it to hit me with," Edward answered, his voice softer than usual, more distant, and his gaze never leaving the view from the window.

Roy glanced at Riza, catching her eye for less than a second. It was all she needed.

"If you go now, it won't be so busy," she said to the young mechanic. "We can walk you through the building, we have an appointment with General Hakuro in the west wing."

"We do?" Havoc blinked.

"What would the General want us?" Fuery asked.

"He didn't say," Riza said absently as she tidied the papers on her desk and stood to wait for the other three soldiers.

"So why didn't you mention it before?" Havoc asked sceptically. Riza shot him a warning glare before replying in her usual clipped tones.

"I knew you'd make excuses or 'accidentally' double-book yourself if I gave you too much notice."

"Coming, Brother?" Alphonse asked the blonde alchemist.

"No, Roy said before Edward had even had the chance to twitch. "There are still some things about the military I need to cover with him."

"Can't it wait?" the blonde in question sighed tiredly.

"No. You've already been in enough trouble, the sooner you know this stuff, the better."

The twelve-year-old glared at him for a moment before returning his gaze to the world outside the military. Roy completely ignored him, choosing instead to flip briefly through a report from a soldier under his command that Edward had never met.

"See you later, Ed," Winry called over her shoulder as they left the office; said boy raised a hand and waived them off, his eyes not leaving the clear glass. The door closed behind them and the office fell into an uneasy silence as Roy continued to flick through papers and Edward was half waiting for Roy to say something, half completely disinterested in anything he might have to say.

Five minutes later and Edward's patience had run out.

"Do you actually have anything to say or can I go?" the boy asked, his voice holding the same tiredness as before.

"You really should work on your patience, Fullmetal, that wasn't very long at all," Roy smirked. Edward shot him a nasty look and stood, walking towards the door.

"Whatever. I'm going."

"No you're not."

"And you're going to make me stay?"

"I won't need to. You still want to know what I've got to say, and your pride won't et you come back and ask later, so you'll stay now."

Edward frowned – since when did that bastard get to know him so well? A smirk played across Roy's features as the diminutive blonde sat down heavily on the couch, glaring at him expectantly.

"I'll make you a deal," the Lieutenant Colonel began. "I'll tell you what you want to know, if you tell me exactly what happened with that serial killer."

"Winry was in trouble, I walked right into a trap, ended up fighting with him until Al and the military turned up and saved our asses, end of story. Your turn."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Fullmetal, I know there was more to it than that. I said I wanted it exactly."

"Like I said, Winry was in trouble and I walked right into a trap."

"What sort of trap?"

"Trying to paint a picture in your head? He was dressed as woman, sitting in a corner and from where I was it looked like they were crying. Just thought they were another victim, 'til they hit me over the head with something."

"Knocked you out?" Roy guessed. He could tell that the boy didn't like talking about things that bothered him, but he wasn't about to let the little blonde keep quiet for ever.

"Yeah," Edward said softly. He began unconsciously fiddling with his gloves and the sleeves of his jacket as he thought back to the events of that day.

"So what happened when you came round?" the raven-haired Lieutenant Colonel asked.

"Bastard had taken my arm off and tied the other one behind me," Edward tried to make it sound as though it hadn't fazed him, but his throat constricted with fear as he recounted what happened. Roy had noticed the boy's voice becoming fainter, so he moved to sit next to Edward on the sofa so that he didn't have to force himself to talk louder than he wanted to. He was careful to keep his gaze focused in front of him because he knew that the young alchemist would stop talking the second he put extra pressure on him, intentionally or not.

"And after that?" Roy prompted, a rarely-heard gentle tone entering his voice. "I take it you transmuted whatever he tied to up with?"

Edward nodded silently, the entire thing flashing in front of his eyes like a horrible dream that he couldn't escape from. Roy noticed that his real hand had begun to shake, but he said nothing – if the wrong words left his mouth then, Edward would lose any trust he had for the Lieutenant Colonel and continue to keep everything inside himself, even if it was too big for him to handle alone.

"Chains. They were chains. I made them into a pole so I could fight him off until I managed to get my arm back."

The boy's voice was barely above a whisper, the fear he had felt at the time more than evident in his voice and body; he was shaking all over, his hands were fiddling with whatever they could find, one leg was constantly bouncing up and down, and his eyes were darting all over the room, never staying fixed on one point for more than a second. Roy watching him carefully through his peripheral vision, onyx eyes still fixed on a spot on the opposite wall, waiting for the boy to speak again.

"I had to drop it," Edward whispered, his voice trembling. "I had to drop the pole so I could get my arm back. He took a swing at me, missed me by less than an inch." The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment. "That was when Al and everyone else turned up."

"No it wasn't," Roy said evenly. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," Edward replied shortly. He stood up sharply and turned to face the door, his back to Roy. "That was it."

"Stop lying to me," the Lieutenant Colonel sighed, also rising to his feet. "What actually happened?"

"I told you, nothing."

"I'm ordering you to tell me, Fullmetal. What the hell happened?"

Roy's small amount of patience reached its limit as Edward ignored his order, instead walking towards the door.

"Tell me now," he growled, only just keeping his temper in check enough so that he didn't snap his gloved fingers.

"Why the hell d'you want to know so badly?" Edward said defensively, his back still to Roy.

"Why the hell do you want to hide it so badly?" Roy shot back. His already severely frayed temper snapped completely and his voice rose as he continued. "You seem to be under the impression that you're the only person who's ever been in a situation like that, that you're the only person who knows what it's like. Open your-"

"I was going to kill him!" Edward shouted suddenly, spinning around to face the Lieutenant Colonel. There were angry tears in his eyes, but he ignored them. "I was scared enough that I was going to kill him, until Al turned up and stopped me! My eleven-year old brother had to stop me from murdering someone! Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The two alchemists stood facing each other in complete silence, Edward shaking from head to toe, anger tinged with fear shining in his golden eyes. Roy stared at him, unable to say anything; of all the things he had been expecting the boy to say, that hadn't been one of them. He hadn't even considered it as a possibility.

"Is that it?" Edward shouted. The tears of anger began flowing freely down his cheeks, but still he ignored them. "Are you just going to stand there? Aren't you going to say anything? Like how I'm in the wrong job if I don't want to do that every day? Like how I should just give up trying to get Al back to normal because I'm not strong enough? If I couldn't even fight off one person, there's no way I can get Al back, is there?"

Without warning, Edward's legs buckled beneath him as all his energy suddenly left him. Roy caught him before his knees had even hit the floor, supporting all of the boy's weight. The boy's weight… That thought hit him hard as he supported the blonde's small, almost too-light form – for all his wisdom and intelligence, for all his courage and determination, Edward was still just a child. A guilt-ridden, yet surprisingly innocent, lost young child. And he reacted to things exactly as a child would; with fear, with self-doubt, with the need for someone else to doubt him to give him the motivation to move on and prove them wrong.

"When was the last time you slept?" Roy asked softly as he led Edward back to the sofa, noticing as he did how worryingly light the boy felt. "Or ate properly, for that matter?"

Edward stayed silent, not meeting Roy's gaze; he was too tired to defend himself, and he didn't have the energy to lie. He had a feeling that Roy had already guessed anyway, so no amount of feeble half-truths would do any good in convincing him otherwise.

"You still need to look after yourself, no matter how back things get," the older alchemist said. He noticed that there were still tears leaving their trails down the blonde's cheeks, but they were no longer of anger; they were of fear, and of shame because of that fear, and from exhaustion from keeping everything inside of himself. "I know you're not looking to die just yet, so start damn well taking care of yourself or next time you won't be able to put up a fight."

Edward shivered at the thought of a next time, but otherwise kept quiet and listened to what Roy was saying – there was something comforting in it, although he'd never admit it out loud.

"Do you know how worried everyone was?" Roy said quietly.

"What?" the blonde looked up in surprise, golden eyes meeting onyx in a silent plea for answers to a thousand more questions in his head.

"When Al said you'd gone missing, everyone started panicking. Especially when Hughes told us about the refrigerated trucks and said there'd been one outside around the time you disappeared.

"Why?" Edward asked. His voice was tired and faint.

"You're a kid, in the military. Everyone who knows you is looking out for you, you just need to remember that you can ask for our help and we'll do what we can. We've got your back, you know."

Edward gave a small, tired nod as his eyes began drifting shut. Roy was still speaking, but it seemed his voice had a soothing quality when used quietly and without its usual commanding and official tone.

"…Never mind that-" Roy paused midway through a sentence; the young blonde's breathing was slow and rhythmic, and his fidgeting had ceased. A slight smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, Roy pushed aside strands of golden hair so that he could see the boy's face – he was asleep. "I'm really that boring, huh?"

He smiled and shook his head to himself; Edward had managed to go from distant to frightened to angry to fragile to fast asleep in less than ten minutes. It was going to take him a long time before he had that kid completely figured out… Bringing himself out of his musings, Roy moved off the sofa and manoeuvred the boy so that he was lying down with his head resting on the arm before fetching his coat from the rack and draping it over the blonde. The office was quite cool, and he was in no doubt that the lack of proper sleep and food was already taking its toll on Edward's immune system; it would be much less hassle to look him while he was asleep in the office than it would be if he got sick.

Once he was satisfied that the younger alchemist would be warm enough, Roy swiped the stray tears from the boy's face, stood up straight and returned to the chair behind his desk, continuing the paperwork he had abandoned.

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"Are we just going to stand here all day?" Fuery asked tentatively.

"Yeah," Havoc answered. "Until it's safe to go back to the office."

"How come?"

"Chief wanted to talk to the kid about something Ed wouldn't say in front of us, at a guess."

Havoc glanced at Hawkeye for confirmation; she raised an eyebrow in surprise and nodded.

"Very good," the First Lieutenant said. "How did you work it out?"

"If the General wanted to talk to us, we'd all get memos and there's no way you'd keep them from us just to stop us double-booking on purpose. Which I've never done – you've got Bessie for that. 'Sides, it was too sudden for you, and the timing was just too perfect. That should have given it away to everyone, if nothing else."

"You should be in Investigations," Hawkeye smiled approvingly.

"Nah, if I went there, I'd actually have to do some work."

"Uhh… Bessie?" Fuery was thoroughly confused.

"Hawkeye's gun," Breda grinned. "Named after the only girl Havoc ever got the chance to dump."

"She wasn't the only one!" the tall Lieutenant protested. "Just the one that sticks out most. Complete psycho, nearly killed me a couple of times, not unlike that damn gun of yours."

"I wouldn't have to shoot at anyone if you'd all just do your work," Hawkeye smiled.

"So… Should we go back yet?" Breda asked. He checked his watch. "It's been over twenty minutes already, and the place is still standing.

"They should be done, then," Hawkeye said, nodding to herself.

"Either that, or they've killed each other," Havoc put in. He shrugged when Hawkeye glared at him. "C'mon, admit it, you were thinking it too…"

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They returned to a sight they never expected to see; Mustang was sitting calmly behind his desk doing paperwork, and Edward was fast asleep on the couch with the Lieutenant Colonel's coat draped over him, for once looking entirely peaceful.

"Anyone wakes him up and you're charcoal," Roy said, his voice quiet yet entirely deadly.

"Got it, Chief," Havoc grinned, flashing a mock salute before sitting at the large central table and pulling his own pile of paperwork towards him.

"He doesn't look that young when he's awake," Falman observed as he and the others also sat down to restart their work.

"Kinda easy to forget he's just a kid," Fuery agreed.

The soldiers had just settled into their paperwork when the office door opened again, this time to admit Alphonse and Winry. They seemed to be bickering again, although both paused and fell silent at the sight of Edward on the couch.

"Just like Ed to fall asleep in an office," Winry said quietly, rolling her eyes but with a small smile on her face.

"At least he's actually sleeping," the armour next to her added softly. He turned to face the Lieutenant Colonel. "You didn't knock him out, did you?"

"Nope," Mustang held his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

"Don't believe him, we only just got the bump to go down again," Havoc sighed over-dramatically, indicating with one hand how big the "bump" on Edward's head was.

Winry giggled as Alphonse shook his head and laughed softly.

Gradually the conversation grew more and more ridiculous, with much quiet and muted laughter coming from the conscious people in the room. Every so often someone would glance over at Edward's sleeping form and usually roll their eyes, but never without a smile.

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As Edward began to come out of his exhaustion-induced nap, he listened to the chat and the laughter around him; he could recognise every voice in the room, and all of them sounded happy and calm. He smiled as he slipped into a real sleep – for the first time in a long while, he felt safe.

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All together now... Aww! How's that for a first attempt at giving the warm and fuzzies? I know the ending was kinda rushed, but I figured I'd better stop it when it reached 8 pages on MS Word... Alas, it appears I just seem to go on. And on. And on...