Update: 20th August 2018

Hello my lovely readers!

I know you haven't heard anything from me in the past 3.5 years since the last update on my profile I just wanted to let you knoe what's happening with me.

In 2016 I finally moved out of home and into a house with my best friend, changed my job from Bartending to working in Retail Sales full full time so I had no time to write in between learning how to run my own household, working full time and trying to get my drivers license.

Unfortunately, things started to go downhill shortly after I got my new job. My friend and I were fighting as we had quirks and habits that bothered each other, I wasn't earning as much money as I had been lead to believe and began regretting quitting my bar work for "full time" work as my sales position had me working 40 hours for the same amount of pay I was getting at the bar in half the amount of hours.

Then, my boss demoted me to part-time work as he didnt have enough hours for me so my finances dropped significantly. Due to this, I struggled and when it got to aroud Christmas 2016 he had demoted me yet again but to a casual position. During this time, my friend moved out but the rift between us was large ans while i really want to mend it, she doesn't so i havent spoken to her in near 2 years.Thankfully, I had been able to pick up some bar work when I was part-time so when I became a casual in sales, I found a third job in May 2017 that was full time during the week, while working at my sales job on saturday days and then working at the bar Thursday to saturday nights and sunday days. As you can imagine, this began to take a real toll on my physical and mental health as while I loved all three jobs, it was very exhausting. I quit my bar job (yes again, and yes, I f'ed up by doing this and came to regret it), and tried to focus on my other two jobs working 6 days a week while still trying to run a household with my 2 new housemates that I knew personally but werent very close to (so there was less fighting thank F!)

Again, unfortunately, the full time job didnt work out so my manager pulled me into a meeting and we agreed on a mutual Traineeship Termination (I was a childcare trainee for a diploma, and even though I left on semi-good terms, they are in no f'ing way on my resume or as references). So I was down to one job, 3 hours a week... if I was lucky, so I went back to the bar and picked up some shifts off the books (cash in hand).

Finally in late July 2017 everything came to a disaster. I received a letter from my real estate that I was being evicted for breaching my lease (I had a cat that I didnt have permision for and we hadnt been taking care of the yard work like we should have). In addition, rumours went around my workplace (sales) that i was doing the drug called "ice" (i wasnt and would never and WILL NEVER touch that SHIT!) then my sales job had let me go due to redundancy as they just didnt have enough hours to keep me on (imagine my surprise and anger when I found out from a famiy friend who works there told me that the section I had been working in told me that a month after I got let go... that they had hired on TWO NEW GIRLS!!!

Anyway, I moved back home with my mum and have been trying to get back on my feet. The bar still calls me in occasionally but nowhere near as much as I need so ive been looking for work which isnt easy for a 23 yo woman with no qualifications. I have recently picked up work in a retail clothing store that is popular in Australia though it is only casual and 1-2 days a week. Oh I forgot to mention that my bedroom roof used to leak so earlier this year when it was storming, my roof leaked and my laptop got water damage so it no longer works unfortunately therefore I havent been able to write and post anything let alone do any edits of my current posted stories XD.

There was also a couple scares with my little sister this year who went through depression and tried suicide muliple times (shes all good now though and she got the help she needed). In saying that, it was recommended to me by my GP and multiple friends and family that I should speak to a psychologist about my own issues. After 4 months of deliberating, I finally decided that it wouldnt hurt to speak to one and if I didnt like it, I didnt have to continue. I have had my first session already where she had me fill out a couple forms and has diagnosed me with moderate anxiety (the reason my GP wanted me to see a psychologist) and severe depression with high suicidal thoughts but low to moderat trees risk of me acting on them (go figure... I just thought it was all stress from the shit ive been through every year for the last 15 years). I want to be completely honest with you guys, while I wont tell you the main reason behind my depression, it WAS something that went on from when I was 9-15/16 and while it stopped almost 9 years ago, I never healed from it and have actually pushed it away and blocked it out which is not healthy. The reason I wont tell you what it was isnt because im ashamed, embarrassed or dont want to talk about it but its because it is a horrible, traumatic and illegal thing that happened and I know that I have young and underage readers. However (I feel I use this word too much XD), I want you to know that if an adult EVER puts you in a position (or if anyone puts you in a position) that you are even slightly uncomfortable with YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT! Go to another adult/person you trust and tell them what happened and I hope to GOD that you get the help you need! I suffered for 6 years because I was scared to speak up and get hurt or in trouble or in my case, I wasnt listened to and believed. The adult I went to brushed it off and thought I was lying because I didnt like the other adult. If this happens to you, go to another adult! Even a friends parent or a teacher.

I may not give the best advice as I most of the time dont know what to say, but if you ever need to speak about something that is bothering you and just need to rant to someone who will listen, or ask for advice on what to do or who you should speak to, please message me! I dont always check my PMs or emails so if you want, you can contact me on the chatting app called LINE the logo is green with a white speach bubble with green letters that say LINE. My ID is carpediemmay and my profile pic is two girls smiling with a caption underneath that says "CARPE DIEM MF'S!!!"

So add me if you want and so I know its not just a mistake, please message me there why youve added me and that you got my ID from my fanfiction profile.

Thanks for reading this update loves! I love every single one of you!

P.s: As of 31 July 2017 it had been 5 years since my last chemotherapy treatment which means I have officially been out of remission for over a year now!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

Update: 16/01/2015 (01/16/2015)

Hi everyone! I have kind of returned. I am in the progress of writing a Walking Dead fic. I am still working on the title, but at the moment it is called "Is There Hope In This New World" starring Abigael Foster.
The Summary: 'A young woman meets Rick in the beginning and they set out to find his family together. Will she find hers as well? And will they be alive or dead? And if they are dead, which kind of dead?'
I am looking for anyone who would like to read the first chapter and tell me what they think, so if you are interested, please let me know by PM and send me the preferred way for me to send it to you i.e. in email where I can attach the file.
Anyway, please let me know =D

You might have noticed by now (if you are one of my Labyrinth readers) that I deleted Passionate Truths, I ran out of ideas, I got writers block and I was definitely not updating at all regularly.

I deleted it, but I will continue to try and write it and finish it before posting it again, so keep an eye out, but don’t be too disappointed if it never comes. If it does, please leave a review.

Thank you to all my loyal readers. I have noticed in myself that I seem to be more inclined to read rather than write; and even when I try to condition myself to writing a complete story before posting it, I always fail and wind up posting something before I even have the second chapter started.

So thank you for everyone who has favourite me and my stories, and/or left a review or has sent me a PM. They all mean so much to me. I will try to do better, but I don’t enjoy making promises I cannot live up to. I try, but sometimes I fail (everyone does) =D

I have actually started a new fanfiction, and I have already written the prologue, chapter 1 and I am currently writing the second chapter. It is no where near completed, but I wanted to express my happiness that I have been able to write all this and haven’t posted any of it yet. So I have high hopes for myself that I can possibly finish it before I put it up. That way I can have regular updates!!! =)

Found this on the profile of a REALLY great ff writer... they wrote Life Renovations, Life Agendas, and Life Crusades, along with Black Bunny and more...

A funny thing I found about the best word ever:

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks."

Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers."

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot."

Dismay: "Aw fuck it."

Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now."

Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy."

Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!"

Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?"

Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here."

In Confidence: "He's a fuck off."

Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!"

The End!