Disclaimer: I don't own ML.

You know, if Adrien didn't just sit by and be an enabler. And if Chloé's character development actually stuck. And if the writers could actually write consistent characterisation.

Don't get me wrong, I love Alya to bits. But this girl was so wildly OOC in this episode that it's not funny. I also like all the other classmates. But since it's Chloé's POV, we all know our blonde bitch will take any chance she gets to drag them.

This is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! Okay, so Chloé doesn't like Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and you'd have to be an idiot to not realise that by now. But if there's one person that Chloé dislikes more than Marinette, it's that serial liar Lila Rossi.

Actually, scratch that. Chloé doesn't even really care about Marinette anymore. Hell, after all that stuff Marinette had done to get Chloé's maman to like her and then throw that party for Queen Bee, Chloé's inclined to think that Marinette is average. Not worth her attention, whether positive or negative, even though Chloé had been a bitch about the macarons on Heroes' Day (but then Marinette had invited her to the picnic, so. Yeah.). And sure, Marinette's crushing on Adrien – really, who wouldn't crush on him, that's just common sense – but she doesn't hang off him like some kind of…ugh, leech. Even Chloé's not as touchy as this Lila girl, who had practically been sitting in Adrien's lap in class.

And really, Chloé has a right to be so physically affectionate with Adrien. They're childhood friends, after all. She's started to suspect that he's not really that into it, but that's something they can deal with another day. Right now, the problem is Lila Rossi. More specifically, how everyone in the class seems to be under some sort of spell or something, because how else would they swallow these utterly ridiculous lies?

Hmm. Maybe Lila's just a permanent akuma from now on, with the power to make anyone believe her ridiculous lies. Queen Bee should really investigate that…with a few small hits to make sure. But Chloé can't really go Queen Bee right now, so it's time for the next best thing: the enemy of her enemy is her temporary ally. And that ally just happens to be one Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

"Ugh, really," Chloé scoffs, shattering the silence. Having taken the cafeteria by surprise, the attention is now on Chloé, just as it should be.

"Is there a problem, Chloé?" Lila says, all sickly sweet and pathetic. Ugh, really. At least Chloé doesn't have to tell so many lies for attention; that just comes naturally when you're the mayor's daughter. Small lies, sure, but at least she can say she's not Liar Rossi.

"Duh," Chloé drawls. She pushes her gourmet lunch from her personal chef away and stands up, hands on her hips, her lip curling at how everyone's crowded around Lila to cater to her every whim like Sabrina does for Chloé. The difference is that Chloé actually gives half a fig for Sabrina, whereas Lila clearly doesn't give a damn about any of these losers. "The problem is what's wrong with all of you."

"What's wrong with us?" Alya says. Hmm. Some best friend to Marinette she is. "You're one to talk, Chloé!"

"At least I'm not two-faced to my friends," Chloé says. "Sabrina knows what she's signing up for by being my best friend, though I'm not so sure I like how she's fawning over Lila like that when she's supposed to be fawning over me." She puts on a look of exaggerated thought. "But I don't think Marinette expected this from her friends…if you can even call yourselves that."

There's predictably immediate uproar, which Chloé drinks in with a smug smile on her face. Chaos is absolutely beautiful. Cause enough of it and you can pretty much get away with anything while everyone's distracted by their hurt feelings. Lila just stares back evenly, the look in her eyes promising that somewhere, sometime, Chloé will pay for this.

Which would be a lot more intimidating if Chloé hadn't mastered that look for herself, to be honest. What could this pathetic liar do to her, Chloé Bourgeois?

"Oh, come on," Alya scoffs. "Like you care about Marinette. You're just jealous of Lila because you're not the centre of attention anymore."

Chloé lets herself laugh at that because honestly, she doesn't give a damn about Lila. Maybe if Lila was actually a credible threat. But really, Chloé can disprove half her lies on the very spot; she'd just rather not until she absolutely has to get her hands dirty. Make everyone stew just that bit longer.

"You're right," she says. "I don't really care all that much about Marinette. But at least I'm honest about it. I don't go calling myself her friend and then turning my back as soon as some lame new girl shows up."

"Hey!" Kim says. "We didn't turn our backs –"

"No, stop," Lila sniffles. A tear slides down her cheek and it's all Chloé can do to not double over laughing at how obviously fake it all is. "Chloé has a point. I didn't mean to take Marinette's friends from her –"

"Dude, you didn't take us," Nino says. "You needed help because of your ear and wrist."

"Yeah!" Rose pipes up. "Marinette's just upset. But she'll come around! And then she'll just love being your friend!"

"Oh, this is priceless!" Chloé laughs, wiping a tear from her eye. "Do you even hear yourselves? 'Marinette will come around, then she'll love being your friend!' She can't stand Lila!"

"And I don't understand why," Lila says, delicately dabbing her nose with a napkin with the hand that Chloé's pretty sure is the one she claimed had arthritis. "I've tried to be nice to her! I want so badly to be her friend, but I guess some people are just incompatible…"

Chloé laughs even harder. "Oh. My. God. How am I the one defending Marinette while the rest of you treat her like some horrible person because she's the only one smart enough to see through Lila?"

"You're just defending her because she's acting like you," Alix says, her arms crossed. "Now that she's started being mean to Lila because she's jealous that Lila's sitting next to the guy she likes, I bet you think she's just the best person ever."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Chloé says. "I don't even like Marinette."

"No, really?" Juleka mutters.

"In fact, I have a whole list of reasons why I don't like her," Chloé declares. "Sabrina can back me up there. But you know what isn't one of those reasons? Being a bully. If there's any one person out of the lot of you who's least likely to be a bully, it's Marinette."

"But Adrien –"

"Think, people!" Chloé interrupts Rose. "Is Marinette really the kind of person to be mean to someone over a crush?"

Most of the class looks like they still want to demonise Marinette in favour of Lila, but it's Mylène who looks down and mumbles, "We did try to help her talk to Adrien. But she told us to stop because he liked Kagami and she didn't want to get between them."

Chloé files that nice bit of information away in case she needs to deal with Marinette later, although it probably won't be for a while if this lot are any indication. She and Marinette may never end up friends, but it might be wise to call a truce while Lila's around. "So, you know Marinette wouldn't be mean to someone because she's jealous," she says. "But you still rushed to kiss up to Lila because she told you a few cool stories?"

"I can understand why you'd doubt me," Lila says, still putting on her pathetic 'woe is me' air. "I know a few of my experiences sound pretty outlandish –"

"That's an understatement," Chloé says. "How anyone believed those utterly ridiculous stories is beyond me. And see, as soon as anyone calls you out, you cry and whine and act like a baby to make people feel sorry for you. And it works! Now everyone hates Marinette. And now everyone hates me even more, not that I really care." Actually, she does, if her outburst to Ladybug when her father had been akumatised is any indication. But they don't need to know that. "I hope you're all happy with yourselves."

Though everyone's still glaring at Chloé, there's a far less hostile atmosphere. In fact, the cafeteria is starting to feel shameful rather than angry, like everyone's beginning to realise that Chloé's right. Of course she is. She's grown up around people like Lila all her life, who'll say and do anything to win over others for their own use. And while Chloé's never had the subtlety to do it herself, she's very much familiar with the whole backstabbing business of it. One wrong move and you're done for. Unfortunately for Lila, Chloé doesn't care about being subtle and not making enemies, because at least she knows where she stands with people while being nasty to their face.

"You told Marinette that a journalist always uses sources," Chloé says to Alya, recognising this as the time to strike. "Did you use any sources, Ladyblogger? Or did you just believe Lila because she told you what you want to hear?"

"Excuse me?" Alya looks like she wants to spit nails.

"You believed a random girl over your own friend!" Chloé says gleefully. "Your best friend! You didn't even look for sources yourself like a good journalist would! And hmm…Marinette's the one who searched for sources on Heroes' Day, right? She did your job for you and you ignored her. Because she was just jealous."

The look of dawning horror on Alya's face is absolutely beautiful. "I –"

"My daddy's the one who invited Prince Ali here last time," Chloé says, her entire body about to float away from just how perfect this all is. "All I had to do was ask him and he said there was no way that Prince Ali could've invited a commoner like Lila to be his personal guest. The timing doesn't work out. And I'm sure that Rose could call him up and ask, since they're just the best of friends."

"I told you," Lila insists, shedding a little of her pathetic air, while Rose looks away. "He never said that he'd be in the country with us."

"Okay, whatever," Chloé says. "But even if Marinette can't prove that, what about Jagged Stone's kitten? Isn't Marinette the one with Jagged Stone's phone number? Didn't she design his album cover? Couldn't you have asked her to check with him?"

A wide-eyed Alya says nothing, so Chloé goes in for the kill, revelling in how obviously Lila is trying to hide her panic.

"And even if you didn't do that, you're the Ladyblogger, right? Ladybug talks to you. Why don't you just ask Ladybug if she's Lila's best friend? After all, a journalist always checks her sources! But sure," Chloé shrugs, "Lila's totally telling the truth."

"Leave her alone!" Nino growls when Alya backs away from Chloé and turns away, her face twitching and eyes shining suspiciously. "Why do you have to be so mean, Chloé?"

"Mean?" Chloé smirks. "For once, I'm not being mean. I'm being honest. But you can't handle that. And Alya's not the only one who turned her back on Marinette, so she's not the only one to blame. You all made up a whole seating plan to cater to one person without even asking the one being kicked to the back."

"I have to sit up the front!" Lila says. "My tinnitus –"

"Oh, I can't prove that's fake, as much as we both know it is," Chloé says. "And I'm not mean enough to accuse someone of faking a disability. But you and I both know that the only reason you wanted that seat was to sit next to Adrikins. And your 'disability' isn't even the problem. It's how everyone here made plans without even asking Marinette if she was okay with being pushed into the back row, then turned on her as soon as she asked why it was her who had to go when she wasn't asked in the first place. She didn't even say anything about Lila's hearing!"

"I offered to sit up the back because I felt bad that I'd caused that trouble," Lila says with a well-timed head droop.

"No, you said that to make Marinette look like the nasty bad guy so everyone would hate her more," Chloé says. "My maman is Audrey Bourgeois. Do you really think I don't know how this works? You suck." Her eyes sweep over all her stunned classmates, who are standing there with open mouths like some sort of hive mind. Ha, hive mind. Her sense of humour is as impeccable as her sense of fashion. "You all suck. Especially if you believe some story about napkin balls cutting eyeballs out that even I know is fake, and I don't even do my own homework. And the funny thing is that it took me to tell you all this and I'm not even Marinette's friend! In fact, hasn't she always stood up for all of you against me? And the only time you've paid her back is by helping her with a picnic where you got to eat her food anyway."

"W-Where are you going?" Rose says in a high, unstable voice when Chloé starts to walk off. Chloé turns back around.

"To find Marinette and kick some sense into her, seeing as none of her friends seem to want to do that. Also, thanks for ruining my lunch. I can hardly eat it now that it's cold."

Chloé whips her ponytail around in a move honed over years and walks out of the cafeteria. No one says anything as she goes. They probably all hate her even more than usual, not that Chloé really cares right now. She's used to being hated, and she's too drunk on the high of actually being in the right for once. Now to find Marinette and kick a spine into her.

"Chloé?" she hears as soon as she leaves the cafeteria. When she turns and sees Adrien standing behind the door, she can't help but beam.

"Adrikins!" she chirps, immediately rushing to his side. When he gives her the same look that he gave Lila, however, she forces herself not to throw herself all over him. Maybe all she needed was to see someone else do it to realise. "Please tell me you don't believe Lila and her awful lies!"

"I heard what you said in there," Adrien says. "And I think you could've been nicer about it but…you were right. Everyone did wrong by Marinette."

"Not you," Chloé insists, looping their arms together to pull him in the direction of the bathroom, where Marinette's probably hiding out. There's really nowhere else she can be, since bathrooms seem to be a magnet for crying teenage girls. "You didn't say anything mean to her, Adrien!"

"But I didn't stand up for her," Adrien says. He looks down, green eyes crinkled and mouth drooping, and the urge to slap Lila for all the trouble she's caused grows even stronger in Chloé at the sight. "I should have said something. I should have offered to sit with her at the back of the class. I knew Lila had a problem with lying – I should have said something then –"

"And had her make you look bad too?" Chloé says. "Please. It's not your fault."

Adrien doesn't say anything to that, so Chloé just harrumphs and hopes that an akuma doesn't come flapping its way in because if Queen Bee has to beat on her Adrikins then there's going to be hell to pay. When they finally reach the girls' bathroom, he freezes on the spot.

"I can't go in there!" he says. "I'm a boy –"

"Adrien, if Harry and Ron can go into the girls' bathroom to save Hermione or make some potion, you can go in there and cheer Marinette up before she gets akumatised and wrecks the school," Chloé says. Adrien stares at her. "What? I saw the movies. And I'm not as dumb as people think I am. Come on."

"I never thought you were dumb!" Adrien protests as Chloé pulls him into the bathroom. There's no one in there, but one of the stalls is closed and Chloé can hear faint sniffles from behind the door.

"Dupain-Cheng!" Chloé announces, her voice echoing off the tiles. "You better come out right now."

"C-Chloé?" Marinette's voice is thick and wet. "Go away. I can't deal with you right now."

"Marinette, Chloé's here to help," Adrien says soothingly, like he's talking to an animal about to spook. Judging from the gasp from inside the stall, Chloé thinks she's pretty spot-on with that simile.

Yes, she knows what a simile is. Just because she makes Sabrina do her homework doesn't mean she doesn't actually learn the stuff. She just can't be bothered doing the work.

"A-Adrien?" Marinette squeaks. "But – but this is the girls' –"

"Who cares what bathroom this is?" Chloé says. "Look, Marinette, I just lectured our whole class and made an enemy of Lila, so you'd better get out here this second."

Honestly, it's probably shock that gets Marinette to open her stall door, but Chloé doesn't care what it is. All she knows is that the lurch in her gut at seeing Marinette with red-rimmed eyes and a wet face should not be there because she so doesn't care about Marinette at all.

And yet, a small part of her can't help wondering if this is how she's made Marinette feel with her own meanness. It's not exactly that good a feeling. Ugh, is this what it's like to actually care about other people?

"You – you did that?" Marinette looks from Chloé to Adrien, seeking proof that Chloé's telling the truth.

"She did," Adrien says with a small smile. He unloops his arm from Chloé's so he can wrap it around Marinette, who squeaks and flushes brightly and accidentally pushes her damp handkerchief into Adrien's chest. "Chloé was amazing. She told everyone exactly what they did wrong, especially how they could've just asked you about Jagged Stone's kitten or Ladybug about being Lila's friend. And she also made them see that it was wrong to not ask you if you could sit up the back because they all thought you were angry at Lila's disability."

"It wasn't that!" Marinette bursts out. "She just – and everyone believed her, when she's done nothing but lie but I always help everyone – oh, I'm sorry!" She covers her face with her hands. "I shouldn't be acting so entitled –"

"Marinette, shut up," Chloé says. "You're allowed to stand up for yourself."

"Especially after everything you've done for everyone," Adrien says. "I meant it when I said you're our real-life Ladybug."

The bell ringing at that moment drowns out Marinette's squeak. Adrien looks around at the door, panicked.

"I can't miss class," he says wildly. "My father would be furious if he knew I skipped class to comfort a friend. But I can't just leave Marinette –"

"Go to class, Adrikins," Chloé says. "I'll stay here and talk some sense into her. And the principal wouldn't dare punish me for missing class or I'll tell my daddy."

"Are you sure?"

"Please go!" Marinette lets out another squeak. "I mean, don't go – I mean – I don't want you to miss class because of me!"

Adrien looks torn but, with one last squeeze, he lets go of Marinette and heads for the door. As soon as he's gone, Marinette squints at Chloé.

"Why are you doing this?" she says. "Why would you stand up for me?"

"Because I hate Lila more than I hate you," Chloé says. Before she can launch into some speech about calling a truce because they both hate Lila's lies, there's the sound of fluttering and Marinette shrieks and jumps away from Chloé.

"Akuma!" the noirette cries, backing away into a corner of the bathroom.

"Damn it, Marinette, stop being upset!" Chloé snaps, her eyes flitting to the bathroom door so that she can make sure she's got enough time to run if Marinette gets akumatised.

"I'm trying!" Marinette wails, waving her handkerchief in front of her. "I've tried breathing – I've tried thinking happy thoughts – but I can't help it this time! I'm sorry!"

Okay, wow, Lila is so going to pay for this because Chloé totally didn't sign up for an akumatisation today. She backs out of the room, determined not to be the first victim, but she pauses outside the door and peers inside when Marinette does something strange. As though resigning herself to the akuma, Marinette stops trying to get away and instead, yanks her earrings out and flings them into a corner of the bathroom a split second before the akuma hits her handkerchief. Chloé's distracted from the oddness of the action by Marinette sliding to the floor, whimpering and tugging at her hair as a purple outline appears over her face.

"No!" she shouts. "Leave me alone, Hawkmoth!"

Wow, is Marinette actually going to fight this off? Chloé sure hopes so. Her nails were just done yesterday.

"I don't want your power!"

But Chloé can see the exact moment when Marinette is overcome by Hawkmoth's sheer will. Not that she can blame Marinette, really. Chloé's been subject to it three times and she hadn't even tried to fight (though to be fair, she'd been hit by Despair Bear and Dark Cupid the third time). Hawkmoth can be super persuasive, especially with all the negativity amplified by ten and surging through you when the akuma hits.

"This isn't even my fault for once!" Chloé whines softly when Marinette's head whips up, an uncharacteristically dark smile spread wide across her face, and she's engulfed in dark purple and black from head to toe.

When the akuma magic fades away, the thing floating in the bathroom is nothing but an ugly mockery of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Her skin is now a blood red, her eyes still bright blue but the whites now burnt yellow. Her pigtails look sharper, more like downward-pointing horns, while she has little horns poking up that look like hair but, knowing Hawkmoth, are probably real horns. She's wearing a black one-piece that ends in short shorts and T-shirt sleeves, with thigh-high black boots and gloves a darker red than her skin, with hearts cut out of the back of her gloves and dotting her suit. And on her back are little black devil wings, though they're probably not keeping her afloat since they're not flapping. It takes Chloé a moment to locate the akumatised handkerchief tied around Marinette's throat like a cravat, and she's just wondering if she can somehow grab it without getting herself hurt when Marinette lets out a loud laugh and floats to the door, slamming it open and sending Chloé crashing to the ground.

"I am Little Devil!" Marinette announces, her voice warped deeply and horribly from the voice that Chloé knows. Chloé idly notices that she has a narrow black tail, like Chat Noir's but ending in a love heart-shaped point, just like the pitchfork she's carrying. "You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I'm the bad guy."

"Marinette, don't you dare go all akuma on me!" Chloé snaps. She's keenly aware that sassing the villain probably isn't a good idea, but she's probably going to be attacked anyway so she may as well get some jabs in first. Then she can at least claim that she tried. "I stood up to everyone for you and this is how you repay me?"

Little Devil looks down at Chloé, black lips curved in a wicked little smile that distorts the black hearts dotting her cheeks. "Chloé Bourgeois," the akuma says in her deep, smooth voice. "The one person I never thought I would spare."

"What?" Chloé splutters. Spare her? Is Little Devil high? Does Hawkmoth need Chloé for something?

"You stood up for me," Little Devil says. "You and Adrien came for me when nobody else did. So, the two of you will be spared. Everybody else?" Her eyes gleam wickedly. "Everyone has a little devil on their shoulder. I just need to make them listen."