Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters/content are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.

CHAPTER ONE

I laid there on the cold, wet forest ground as the rain started to fall, hitting me in the face. I slowly opened my eyes, taking another shaky breath. I could barely see the hand that was in front of me. It was so dark. I had been in the forest for hours, aimlessly wandering around in hopes to find him. I knew how very naïve this hope was but I searched anyway.

Somewhere, In the far off distance, I could hear the sound of my name being called repeatedly.

"Bella... Bella." It said, over and over again. There was more than just one voice, each of them sounding different.

The rational part of me knew that I should get up, or at least try and answer them back. I knew that I should walk toward the sound of their voices in the far off distance. But I couldn't. He was gone.

"It will be as if I never existed." His words coming back to me again, echoing in my head, making it hard to breathe. Each memory ripping me open and making each breath more painful than if I had swallowed razor blades. I clutched my stomach, trying to hold what was left of me together.

I was soaked to the bone and freezing cold, as I closed my eyes, feeling the rain on my face and welcoming whatever may come.

I should be fearful. I should have some sense of worry, panic even. But there was nothing. I was numb... entirely numb.

A very warm hand touched my arm and I vaguely remember being present enough to feel the same warm arms lift me up and carry me out of the wet forest though my eyes remained closed.

Maybe this was death. Maybe this is what death truly felt like. It felt as if I was floating on air, being lifted with such grace. Several voices, and a lot of footsteps, surrounded me as I felt my weight suddenly shift. The warm arms releasing me, passing me off to another pair of strong arms. "I've got her... I've got her..." A familiar, comforting voice said from above me.

Charlie?

I heard the old hinges creek in protest to my front door opening and knew I was home. Charlie laid me down on the sofa and I curled up into a ball. Not wanting to be present or feel anymore pain.

Just let me be. Please leave me alone. He's gone. They are all gone.

Agony ripped it's way through my chest, causing me to gasp and tears to run down my face. I heard Charlie try to speak to me then. "Bella? Honey? Can you hear me?"

I couldn't speak, even If I wanted to. It was all too much.

He was never coming back.

I laid there, feeling Charlie wrap me up in a blanket and leaving me be on the couch.

"She seems to be okay. I'll keep an eye on her and take her to the doctor's if needed tomorrow." Charlie's voice cracked on the last word, showing me a side of him I had never seen before. "Thank you." He said, to whom though I was not sure.

I felt the weight of the day powerfully pulling at me as I welcomed sleep with open arms, wanting to feel nothing at least for a little while.

The couch shifted beneath me and I knew Charlie was sitting at the end of it. I could feel his worried eyes on me. He didn't speak and after a few more minutes, I fell asleep, not wanting to wake up.

I had nightmare's. One right after the other. All of them making me scream out in horror and all of them ending the same. Edward leaving me and them all being gone. Me chasing him through the forest and never being able to find him. Never being able to feel his cool breath on my face, or his cold lips to mine again.

Charlie looked like he was scared out of his mind each time he would hear me scream. He would come bursting into my room, panic evident on his face. My last nightmare was all I could take. I finally gave up on sleeping anymore.

It was early morning as I got up, dragging myself insensibly to the shower. I was still cold as I turned the shower on scalding hot and washed up. Letting the hot water warm me. I mechanically brushed my teeth and hair, blow drying it, and slipping into clean clothes.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, seeing how void of light my eyes had become. The girl staring back at me appeared to be a mere ghost of herself. She was unrecognizable to me. I shuttered as I switched off the light in the bathroom and walked into my room, seeing all evidence of him was now gone. He had taken everything."It will be as if I never existed..." His velevet voice, repeating the same thing to me, over and over in my head.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, clutching my stomach, gasping."Never even existed."

I felt so empty, completely void of any and all emotion. Charlie stepped into my room, looking down at me with worry. "You're up. How do you feel?"

I kept my eyes focused on the ground, not trusting them not to betray me and expose how I really felt.

"Yeah, I got up a bit ago. I'm okay. Just tired." I lied, horribly.

"Bella..." Charlie sat down next to me, placing a hand on my knee. "Did... he... Edward- just leave you there? In the woods like that?" The anger in Charlie's voice was evident. The mere mention of his name, caused me to feel like I had swallowed more razors. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult.

"No... Dad. I just need rest. Can we talk later?" I asked him, not meeting his eyes. I had to get him out of my room. I could feel myself steadily losing my grip. The grip of any little control I had left over my emotions at all.

Charlie hesitantly nodded to me before speaking again.

"Okay. I'll be downstairs. If you need anything." He kissed my forehead and then left, closing my bedroom door slowly behind him. I walked over to my rocking chair that faced the window. The one he always sat in at night. I traced my fingers along the wooden arm of it and sat down, pulling my knee's up to my chest, staring blankly out into the dusky hue of the evening. The leave's were already changing. Fall was strong in the air and October would be here in a few short weeks.

I sat there for hours, only getting up for a glass of water or to use the bathroom every so often. Day turned into night and night turned back into day. This pattern continued in the same cycle. The same routine, each day, every day, for weeks before the weeks steadily turned into a month.

I couldn't sleep, though I tried. My nightmares tormented me each night, waiting for me, causing my screams to pierce through the walls of my room and waking Charlie every few hours. He had called in for a week of personal absence from the station last week. He was very worried about me and I could see that. I felt guilty for it but knew there was little I could do about it. I could hardly pull myself together, let alone offer my father any real sense of reassurance.

I would try every day to get up, shower, get dressed and ready for the day. Go to school and come home as normal as I could, but inside I was empty. I had lost a little weight from my lack of appetite over the last month. All of my jeans that Renee had been nice enough to buy me, were now a bit loose. I just added a belt to each outfit and didn't really care. But on a five foot five, one hundred - ten pound frame, I knew I didn't look healthy with the recent weight loss. I was borderline too thin.

Nothing appealed to me, not even coffee or pizza. My once favorite foods had all lost their meaning and taste to me.

I came home from school one night, pulling into my yard to see Charlie sitting on the porch waiting for me. "This can't be good..." I muttered to myself as I got out.

I closed the door and slowly walked over to him as he stood up, meeting me face to face. "Bella- it's time honey. I just talked to your mom and uh- We both think that it's time you go back to Jacksonville. Be there with her. Maybe she can help you through this. I obviously can't." Charlie's eyes grew misty on the last word, making guilt twist painfully in my stomach. I hated what I was putting him through.

I cleared my throat, finding my voice and speaking for only the third time all day. "I don't want to leave Forks. I'm not leaving." I said, drawing a shaky breath. Charlie shook his head in protest.

"Bella- honey... he's not coming back and you're not getting any better. It's been weeks."

I wrapped my arms around myself at his words, knowing how true they were. He wasn't coming back. They all were gone ... forever.

I had to convince Charlie I would do better. I didn't want to leave Forks.

"No... I know." I said softly, looking up at him."I'm actually going out later- with uh... Jessica- from school. I need to get out. Maybe go shopping or something." I nodded, looking at him again, trying to sound as convincing as I could.

"Bella you hate shopping. Your mom and I always have to go for you. Your whole wardrobe is from her sending it to you for gifts."

He had a good point there. I usually relied solely on Renee to send me the new clothes from all the name brand places she would shop at on a monthly basis. Her desire for shopping far outweighed my own. I was thankful for her to do it for me, cause I never had been one to go spend a whole day at the mall. I would rather get lost in a good book all afternoon. I thought fast.

"Well we're probably not going shopping. We were thinking of going to see a movie actually."

Charlie looked down at me, crossing his arms in front of his chest in disbelieving fashion. "Okay- Bella-Honey..." He said, placing a hand on my arm. "I don't want you to go. I don't, but I want you better? Okay?"

I nodded in understanding to him. "Okay. I know. I'll be okay, Dad."

I gave him the best fake, half a smile that I could muster and walked around him, heading into the house.

I had convinced him for now to let me stay. But I was going to have to do some major acting here in the next few weeks to really make him see the change, and let me stay here in Forks. It would be hard, But I thought if I tried hard enough, I could pull it off. I could convince him enough

I grabbed the phone from the receiver in the kitchen and dialed Jessica. Please be home.

"Hello?" Jessica answered cheerfully, after only a few short rings.

"Hey Jessica... it's Bella- Bella Swan. Listen, I know it's short notice but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight? Maybe- see a movie in Port Angeles?"

There was a long, drawn out, awkward silence on the other end.

I heard Jessica sigh and then laugh a bit."Well- okay. I can meet you in an hour? I'll actually pick you up, is that okay?" She offered. A sigh of relief cam from me, as I was glad she was willing to do this. Saving me from endless questions and being under the watchful, observant eyes of Charlie all night.

"Yeah. I'll be ready. Sounds good. See you later." I replied, hearing her say good bye before hanging up.

I walked up the stairs, rummaging through my closet and looking through the new clothes Renee had just sent in a big package a few weeks ago. I hadn't even touched them. Their tags were still firmly attached. I found a grey sweater and a pair of Black skinny jeans. I quickly removed the tags from them and slipped them on as I looked at myself in the long mirror on my closet door. I looked nice, presentable at least. The jeans fit me well, despite my recent loss.

I went into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and hair and putting a small amount of mascara on my lashes, trying to make my eyes seem more alive at least. I was never one to wear more than a few cosmetics at a time. It just wasn't my style. I grabbed my jacket off the back of my door, slipping it on before hastily running down the stairs.

Charlie saw me and whipped around in the kitchen, doing a double take, with the hint of a smile forming on his mouth. "Wow... Bella! You look real nice, honey! Have a good time and be safe okay? Call me on your way home?"

I nodded and kissed him on the cheek, quickly running out the door just as Jessica pulled up to get me in her silver Ford Focus. I jumped in with a fake smile.. "Hey... Thanks for this. For hanging out with me." I said to her. She smiled quickly in return and we took off for Port Angeles.

We made great time, getting to the Zombie movie a mere five minutes before it started. There were no lines at the consession stands, so we were able to get our soda's and popcorn rather quickly. The previews had just begun as we took our seats mid - theatre.

Jessica smiled at me as she took a handful of popcorn, tossing it into her mouth."So... you really would rather see this than the romantic comedy playing across the hall?"

I nodded to her. Just the thought of seeing a couple together, all happy and so in love, made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. "Yeah! I've wanted to see this." I replied to her. Jessica simply chuckled with a shrug just as the lights dimmed and the movie began to play.

The theatre was about half full, leaving us plenty of room to be comfortable. I glanced across from us, seeing a familair face that I couldn't place at the moment, sitting there with a girl next to him. He looked so familiar to me.

I took a small handful of popcorn, aimlessly taking small bites and picking at it, while glancing at them every few seconds. Where had I seen him before? He chuckled at the girl who placed her face in his neck, snuggling up to him at the first Zombie attacking one of the main characters in the film. Everyone jumped and a few gasps were let out. I was hardly paying attention although Jessica was fully engrossed in it. I turned my head a bit, trying to get a better look at him when he suddenly glanced in my direction, eyes's meeting mine with half a grin set in place.

I suddenly remembered who he was then and where I had seen him before. It was Quil... Jacob's best friend. I'd met him a while ago on first beach in La Push, when everyone went surfing. It seemed now like a lifetime ago. That was the day Jacob had told me about the 'cold one's'. The memory sparking raw pain to go through me. Quil waved at me with a small nod as I gave him a weak smile back in return. He soon turned his attention back to his date and the movie, tossing a handful of M&M's into his mouth.

Seeing him now made me think of Jacob. I hadn't laid eyes on him in weeks. He had tried to call me, but I just didn't have it in me to return the call. I felt as if I had nothing to say to him in my current state. Who wants to be around someone so depressed?

I had barely even been making conversation with Charlie over the past six weeks. My mind was a blank canvas most of the time.

I sighed heavily, feeling guilty that I hadn't returned at least one of Jakes phone calls. I made a quiet mental note then to do so later this week. The last time I had seen him was on my Birthday. At the school, when he had dropped by to wish me a Happy 18th Birthday.

Memories of my Party at the Cullen''s were now fresh in my mind from the recolection of that day.

Jasper trying to kill me.

I stopped the haunting memory there, not allowing myself to finish the thought.

The movie went on for about two hours and then we headed home. It had been good to get out with Jessica again.

As we walked out, I noticed a biker gang hanging out by Pete's bar. I stopped, closely looking at one of them, remembering the last time I was in Port Angeles at night. I shook my head and felt Jessica grab my arm, looping it firmly in hers.

"Uh-Bella... let's go." She said, tugging on me to follow her to the car.

"Hang on. I think I might know one of them."

They looked back at me, whistling. The larger man in the front, already on his bike, called me sugar... reminding me so much of that night Edward... I winced at thinking his name... came to rescue me from the group of boys.

I stood there in the middle of the street, looking intently at them, fully aware of my soon to be rash decision as Jessica tugged hard on my arm.

"Bella! Let's go! I'm serious! Are you suicidal or do you have a death wish or something?" She asked me in a stern, low whisper.

Maybe I did. Maybe I had come completely unhinged. After all, why else would I choose to be so brazenly bold?

I walked away from her and slowly headed for them. My feet move and my head was void of all logical reasoning. That's when I heard it, stopping me stone cold in my tracks, half way to them. Edwards velvet voice appeared to me. "Bella... turn around. You promised me- nothing reckless"

I stood there frozen, looking ahead at his perfect face. I must be dreaming. This couldn't be real. His image and voice faded away as fast as they came.

I took another few steps toward the men on the bike's, testing it, hoping it would come back. When I reached the men, the one in the front asked me if I wanted a ride and motioned for me to get on the back of his bike. I climbed on, not even thinking twice and closed my eyes, I listened to hear the most heavenly voice I had ever heard come back to me. The bike roared to life beneath me, and the man told me to hang on, speeding off fast into the night. We sped up and the voice came back to me with a stern tone. "Bella..." I watched ahead as his perfect image came to appear there at the end of the road.

We got closer and closer to it as fear began to rise within me, clawing at my throat..

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I screamed to the man, the bike skidding to a holt. Edwards image vanishing like a vapor before me. He was gone again.

The man took me back to Jessica, who was beyond furious when I reached her.

"What the hell were you thinking! Bella... are you crazy! I mean seriously! He could have killed you!" She grabbed my arm and lead me to the car.

I quickly got in and we rode the whole way home in silence. I felt guilty for putting her in a situation like that. I don't know what the hell had come over me. "Jessica, I'm sorry. You're right that was really stupid. I'm sorry." She nodded, seeming to accept my apology as we pulled up to the house.

"It's okay... just next time-don't do something so crazy!" She gave me a half smile, while I thanked her for the evening and got out. Jessica honked her horn, waving as she drove away.

I walked into the house, noticing it was eerily quiet. Charlie had left me a note, saying he was working a double shift but had left me some pizza in the fridge. I sighed, hating to be alone lately as I glanced up at the clock, seeing it was nearly 10 at night. The phone suddenly rang, jumping me. I grabbed it off the reciever, quickly answering it. Sounding a bit out of breath from being startled.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Bells." A warm, welcoming tone came from the other end of the phone.

Jacob.

I ran a nervous hand through my hair. Finding myself unsure of what to say to him. I hadn't talked to him since... everything. Charlie had told me Jake had been there when Sam found me that night. I hated the fact that he had seen me like that.

I cleared my throat once, finding my voice again."Oh-Hey Jacob. I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls. I just-" I stopped, falling short of what to say.

"It's okay Bella. I understand." He said, with sincerity clear in his voice. Jacob had always been so understanding. Just part of who he was. Part of his charismatic charm.

"I just-" He paused."Wanted to call again, to see how you were... are you okay?" His tone was evident with genuine worry.

It was no secret how messed up I had been. Billy was charlie's very best friend. Had been for years now. I knew with how worried Charlie had been, he had surely talked to Billy. And I'm sure Jake was there for more than one of those venting sessions.

"I'm-..." I paused.

I had no trouble lying to everyone else and putting on a fake smile for them but when it came to Jacob. I had a much harder time lying to him. He always saw right through me.

I didn't need to finish my thought, Jacob knew. "Want some company? For a while... I know... it's kinda late." He paused, dare I say, sounding nervous. It would be nice to have some company for a bit. I was jumpy already being here alone.

"Sure- um...that would be nice. Thanks."

"Okay. I'll be over in bit." He replied, with a warm chuckle. The hearty laugh I loved to hear.

"Okay." I placed the phone back on the wall and stood in my kitchen thinking back to what I had seen and heard atfter the movie with Jessica.

He was so real. Almost tangible, right there in front of me. I clutched the counter as the familiar pain raged on with an unrelenting nature from his clear memory.

Maybe I really was going a bit crazy? Maybe six long weeks of sleepless nights, long haunted days and barely living my own life anymore, had done me in after all, pushed me over the delicate edge I had been teetering on now for over a month.

The whole in my chest blazed with fire and radiated down to my stomach at the memory of how his face had appeared to me tonight, it's beauty... it's perfection. Something I feared was all just in my head alone. Not reality. After all... he was gone. But tonight, standing there in the middle of the street in Port Angeles, It had seemed to be all so real. Almost like I could have reached out and touched him if I wanted to. He was as beautiful as I remembered him to be.

I swallowed hard, fighting back the painful tears and pushing down the pain in my chest. I wrapped my arms around my stomach in an attempt to hold what was left of me together. The pain was so real and so raw, that I wouldn't have been surprised to look down and see blood coming from my chest. Evidence that my heart had actually been ripped out whole. Leaving nothing but torment and a heavy emptiness in it's wake. The tears slowly welled up and spilled over, running down my face for the hundredth time now. Sometimes I wondered how I had any tears left to cry at all. But they always came, seeming to have an endless supply for me.

There was a knock at the door and I quickly got to my feet. My head spinning from rising too fast. I leaned into the kitchen counter and wiped away my tears in a hurry. I didn't want Jacob to see me like this. I hadn't laid eyes on him since... he left.

Pain shot through me again and I clutched my stomach. I took a ragged breath and walked to answer the door, unlocking it to see Jacob standing there with a huge perfectly white smile on his face. The sight of it made me return one to him immediately.

"Bells! Where the hell have you been!" He said with his hearty laugh, scooping me up into one of his famous bear hugs and spinning me around outside on the porch. I laughed, the sound surprising me. I hadn't laughed in weeks.

He set me firmly on my feet and looked me up and down, eyes meeting mine..."You look really nice."

I felt an unfamiliar sensation spread to my cheeks... a blush. Something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

I stared up at Jacob, noticing the changes in him from just the few weeks we'd been apart. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans. His hair long and jet black and beautiful. The kind of hair that any woman would envy him for. But there was something a bit different. He was bigger.

Had he grown an inch? Maybe even two? I thought he had. I looked at him... really looked and saw how much he had changed. His muscles were bigger and far more prominent. Gone was the gangly form from last year. It hadn't been that long since I'd seen him...

"Jake..." I said, running a hand through my hair with a small laugh. "You're like- buff..." I reached for his arm, feeling the muscle there. "When the hell did that happen!" The curiosity was clear in my voice, as I noticed how very brawny he had become.

Jacob chuckled and glanced back at me. "Well- you know - I'm just filling out Bella. Maybe, it wouldn't be such a shock to you if you came around more often." He laughed again, eyes warm, meeting mine. I nodded and couldn't help but smile in return to him.

"Yeah. True." I sighed in agreement, as I welcomed him in and shut the door behind us.

I watched him as he walked into the kitchen. He really had changed. It had only been a few short months since I'd seen him. I shook my head in disbelief. Was it possible to grow that fast?

"So, how have you been?" Jacob asked, leaning against my kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

I took a steadying breath before answering. "I'm... okay and you?"

"I'm pretty good, just finished up my last class for school on the rez last week. I'm done."

"Jake- that's great! I mean... that's a big accomplishment to graduate early. I'm happy for you. I assume you'll be having some kind of celebration?"

He shook his head with a chuckle, looking down at the floor for a moment. "No, not really. My dad wants to throw this big ass bonfire I guess. I don't know... we'll see."

"You should celebrate your accomplishment." I replied, nudging him with my left arm as I laughed, while seeing his less than enthusiastic expression.

Jacob was always humble. Sometimes too humble. I saw the small blush creep up on his cheeks and smiled at it's warmth.

A comfortable silence fell around us as we stood in my kitchen. I felt Jacobs arm brush up against mine. His warmth was nice. Something I hadn't felt in a while. He put one arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him. Just the contact with him made a lump grow in my throat. I swallowed hard a few times. Fighting it back.

"You sure you're okay... really okay, Bells?"

I slowly nodded, not sure if I trusted my voice at this point. Jacob's arm tightened around my shoulders... "Really?" He asked me softly, a change in his tone.

"Yeah-" I whispered, which was all I could manage."I'll be fine."

"You know I'm here for you, right?" He asked me with such sincerity, it made the tears come back.

"I know." I sighed, quickly changing the subject. "What do you feel like watching?"

"Whatever you want." He replied, sitting down leisurely on the couch. I sat next to him after popping in an action movie Charlie always liked to watch.

Jacob glanced at the cover. "Since when do you watch stuff like this, Bells? I usually have to plead with you not to watch a romance... remember?" He said, with a teasing tone.

"People can change." I replied, looking up at him and silently pleading with him not too push the issue. Jacob's gaze remained on mine, reading me like an open book. The way he always had. He put his arm around me again.

"Yeah. They sure can."

I broke the stare and got up, feeling the lump in my throat return.

"Want some popcorn?" I asked, changing the subject. I knew Jacob never resisted food!

"Absolutely!" He replied with a smile.

I got out a glass bowl and threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I hadn't eaten but once again felt no urge to either. I poured the bag into the bowl, once it was finished popping, and took it in to Jake, handing it to him, seeing he was already into this movie. Of course, it was one filled with fast chasing cars and cops. Nothing I was into, but it sure as hell beat some romance flick right about now.

Jacob glanced down at me, seeing I hadn't touched the popcorn. "You... not hungry?"

"No, already ate earlier." I lied, feeling guilty about it already. But Jacob knew better.

"No you didn't. Come on. I'll order a pizza. It's my treat?"

I shook my head in protest."I'm okay really."

Jacob set the popcorn down on the coffee table, grabbing the remote and hitting pause. He turned to me with a serious look on his face, one that was out of character for him, revealing to me his worry for my health.

"Bells...Come on. You gotta eat something." A look of real concern crossing his handsome face and made me back pedal. I suppose I could choke down half a piece to make him feel beter. I'd do it for him if nothing else.

I rolled my eyes in defeat. "Okay fine. I'll order it." I agreed, going back into the kitchen and calling the pizza delivery place Charlie and I ordered from on a regular basis. They kindly informed me it would arrive in 30 minutes before I thanked them, gave them the directions and hung up.

I turned around and practically ran smack into Jake. His near silent approach startling me. He was standing right behind me. His reflexes quick enough for him to move back, before I could collide into him, no doubt hurting myself more in the end. He placed his hands on my arms to steady me as I glanced up at him, noticing the serious expression he wore.

"You sure you don't want to talk about ... anything?"

I shook my head quickly, knowing what would happen if I opened up to him. It would all come pouring out, like a river dam over flowing.

I couldn't. I would fall apart. Jacob stroked my arms and I felt the coldness fade away from me. For the first time in weeks. I felt truly warm.

Jacob's steady, even breathing, calmed me as I fought the emotion hard. The walls I had built up, trying to save what little there was left of me, were in serious danger of crumbling right here, in my kitchen with him. His warmth was so inviting, that I found myself taking a small step toward him. I leaned my head against his chest, looking down at the kitchen floor beneath me. His hands moved from my arms to my sides, resting there on my hips. I felt him hesitate a bit before wrapping one arm around me, then the other and pulling me into him as I felt an ache in my chest and tears form in my eyes. I knew Jacob would listen.

"Tell me-" He whispered, and for a split second, I sincerely debated it. But I knew better. I couldn't tell Jacob or anyone. I was alone in this. No one knew and no one could ever know. Tears ran down my cheeks falling to the floor.

"I can't." I said to him, apologetically, feeling Jacob hold me even closer.

"Why..." He breathed. "Why can't you?" My stomach churned at the pleading I heard in his voice.

If I could I would.

I had to stuff all my emotions back in. I surely wouldn't be so selfish as to put this kind of burden on Jacob.

No.

I pulled away from him, wiping my tears in a hurry before sitting down at the table, and keeping my eyes to the floor. "I can't... I'm sorry"

Jacob crouched down in front of me and placed his warm hand under my chin.

"You can tell me anything, Bella." He said softly, pleading with me.

How I wished that were true.

The silence fell between us again, causing my chest to ache all the more. Luckily, there was a knock at the door then. The pizza guy was here.

I sighed in a bit of relief as Jacob stood and went to answer it, guilt now washing over me for keeping Jake in the dark. He was guarded from all this and I was determined to keep it that way for as long as I could.

Jacob set the pizza box on the counter and looked at me. "Dinner!" He said with a chuckle. His straight white, perfect smile flashing over at me.

I got up, reaching for the plates on the top shelf of the cupboard. My hands were still shaking from earlier as I grabbed the plate and it slipped from my hand, crashing to the floor. I reached for it instinctively and sliced my inner palm on a large shard of glass. My head spun as I saw the blood start to run down my hand. Jacob reached for me, seeing me unsteady. "Bells..."

Jacob was quick... really quick. He grabbed a towel from the side of the sink,and wrapped it around my hand, putting pressure of it. I felt my head spin again at the memory of last time I had cut myself like this, only with a much different outcome. One where Jasper tried to kill me in the Cullen's living room. Thinking their name's again punched fresh hole's through me.

Jacob held the towel securely to my hand as the room spun aroound me. The rustic smell of my own blood making my stomach turn violently. I was on the verge of passing out as I glanced down to see the white towel soaked in blood.

Jacob wrapped a secure arm around me, helping to steady me on my feet. He looked down at the towel. "You need stitches, Bells." He said, seeing the amount of blood. I couldn't even speak. The smell was overwhelming. I simply nodded.

"Come on, I'll take you to the E.R."

I looked at the table where my keys to the truck were along with my green Jacket. Jacob grabbed the keys and helped me into my Jacket. He then helped me to the truck, having to stop twice with me leaning into him, my head whirling in fear of blacking out. I never did have a strong tolerance for blood.

Jacob quickly helped me climb in on the passenger side and than raced around, jumping in on the drivers side and roaring the engine to life. My hand started to throb and so did my head as we rushed to the E.R. Great... Charlie would be thrilled to hear this...

We were there in no time and walked in to find a pretty desolate waiting room. I was thankful it wouldn't be much of a wait. I approached the front desk with Jacob.

"I cut my hand and need some stitches." I told her rather quickly. She observed the blood soaked towel in my hand and hastily got a charge nurse to take me to an exam room. I didn't even have to ask if Jake wanted to go, he was right beside me.

The nurse sat me down and took some general information... Age, Date of Birth, weight, how I had cut my hand... the general stuff. When she was finished she smiled and said..."Okay, the doctor will be right in to stitch up your hand. I'll be back with some pain meds in just a minute."

It occurred to me that I had been unconscious the last time I needed stitches. I closed my eyes, remembering when that was... When James had hunted me, luring me to my old Ballet studio in pheonix. There was a lot more blood than this that day and a lot more pain. I felt Jake's warm hand lightly squeez my leg... ''You okay, Bells?''

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I whispered, staring blankly ahead.

"Don't be. It was an accident, Bells. No big deal." He reassured me. I glanced over at him, sitting next to me as he smiled warmly, his presence a great comfort to me.

The doctor soon came in, sitting down and wheeling himself over to me.

"Well, Miss Swan that's a real good gash you have there. We'll get that all stitched up for you in no time and you can be on your way." I nodded, knowing this was gonna hurt. I had never been one to do very well with pain. The doctor cleaned the wound with some antiseptic, it stung... a lot.

I turned my head towards Jake, looking away from the gash. The sight of it making me sick all over again. Jacob's hand gave my leg a reassuring gentle squeeze. I kept my head burried into Jake's arm. I couldn't look, I knew I'd surely faint. The doctor numbed the area and quickly stitched me up. I was thankful I could barely feel anything.

Before I knew it, he was finished and wrapping my hand in an ace bandage before he handed me some pain meds and sent us on our way. Jacob helped me back to the truck, keeping an arm around me. I was still a bit dizzy from all the blood. I shivered in the truck as the cold air blew threw my jacket. There was a real Fall chill in the air.

I scooted over next to Jacob, feeling the pain meds start to kick in, making me struggle to keep my eyes open. I laid my head on Jake's shoulder and felt myself falling asleep, comfortable there next to him.

My eyes slowly opened as I felt the truck come to a stop and heard Jacob cut off the engine. "You're home, Bells."

I sat up, feeling so tired as Jacob got out and jogged over to my side, opening the door and lifting me into his arms. "Come on, let's get you to bed." He said, carrying me inside. I tried to protest.

"Jake, you don't have to do that."

He gave me a smile and chuckled. "I don't think I trust you to make it safely to your bed. Not this tired and certainly not with your lack of grace, Bells..." He laughed his hearty laugh, making me smile right along with him and nod in agreement. He had a damn good point.

He carried me in the house and up the stairs to my room, gently placing me on my feet.

"Thank you." I said to him, his warm, dark eyes meeting mine.

"No problem, Bells. Do you need anything before I head home?"

"Um- No... I think I should be able to manage. Charlie should be home soon so."

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow, see how your doing?"

I nodded and watched as he flashed me his brilliant smile and closed my bedroom door behind him. I sat down on my bed, carefully taking off my jacket and laying back. I was beat as I threw the covers over me and was soon fast asleep.

A/N: Thank you to all my readers for reading this fic. :-) Feel free to leave a review!