This story is Non-canon/ AU: Alternate Universe / OOC: Out of Character

Rated: M

If you are a fan of Edward Cullen—absolutely, DO NOT READ THIS FIC!

A special thank you to the very talented Mist for creating a fabulous banner for this story.

Important Timeline Info: I've played with the timeline for the purposes of this story. Bella knows much more about the Cullens than in the books. The beach meeting between Sam and Bella never took place; however, Jacob did tell the story of the Quileutes being descended from wolves to her.

Note: I do not purport to be a psychologist or a specialist in any way. I am simply an author. Please turn to a professional if you are in need of help.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: A very public, cathartic moment leads Bella Swan to realize that Edward Cullen is not quite prince charming. Her newfound self-awareness leads to stronger friendships and new adventures, but will her past relationship with a vampire threaten her new, happier life?

A/N: Thank you very much for joining me on this wonderful ride with Bella and Sam. It was such a joy to hear from so many of my readers-old and new, and I'll be looking forward to chatting with you again during the next story. I will continue to work on Intensity, but if another plot bunny pops into my brain, I'll jump on it like I did with Catharsis. In the meantime, feel free to read some of my other completed fics. Two of my favorite recent comedies are 'Bella and Jasper's Excellent Adventure' and 'Besotted.'

CATHARSIS

And so we come to our second epilogue. The wolves were all happy. They had become wealthy beyond their wildest dreams thanks to Bella and Paul, and they lived out their lives fulfilling all of their desires and those of future generations.

The spell that the witch had cast had inadvertent consequences. It removed the spell the ancient Egyptian sorceress had cast so many millennia ago, and returned humanity to all good vampires of the sparkly, marble skin variety. The bad ones were unable to survive the change. They discovered this when bands of bedraggled nomads, all good people, began showing up on Carlisle's doorstep for healthcare from the United States and around the world. Between Carlisle and Sam, they were caring for every single one of them. Rose, who had also been to medical school, was called upon to assist, and Leah was forced out of retirement as a nurse to help, along with Tiffany Call. Rachel dealt with all of their dental issues, which were numerous, considering most of them were from a time before dental hygiene was even a thing.

Bella and Paul set up a shelter using some of their cut of the Volturi money because the former vampires needed help resettling, and they needed a tax shelter. Heck, most of them needed help learning to be human again, but that's another story altogether. Let's get back to our epilogue.

We'll begin with Brady who brought home his lusty Italian firecracker Gianna. He continued working for Charlie, and she opened an authentic Italian restaurant in Forks called Via Gianna. They made lots of babies together. They were loving, happy-go-lucky parents, and when their daughters were in high school, they became especially popular with the teenaged boys, causing poor Brady to prematurely gray.

When the Denali family moved to Forks, most were mated with the exception of Tanya. That changed the moment Colin Littlesea looked into her beautiful blue eyes. After a whirlwind courtship of thirty-seven hours, they tied the knot in front of the judge. They had three kids. Colin chose not to work. Tanya and he had enough money to get by. Instead, they focused on humanitarian causes, assisting newly human vampires who needed re-settling, which everyone was grateful for, because they put a ton of effort into it.

Seth Clearwater imprinted on a beautiful woman named Bonnie, who happened to be a powerful witch, from Mystic Falls, Virginia when she came to seek out Bella and Paul for help with a doppelgänger issue. They lived happily in La Push, following a trip to Mystic Falls with the writing duo to extinguish the doppelgänger, which involved a spell, the explosion of a crypt, and an amulet. The writing duo's subsequent book was called 'The Wolf, The Witch, and the Exploding Crypt,' and remained one of their best sellers to this day.

Harry thought it was handy to have their very own witch as part of the Clearwater family. The very first thing he had her do was cast a spell on his friends, the Swans and the Lahotes, so that they'd age at the same rate that Billy and he did. With all the phasing the pack had been doing, as a result of Bella and Paul's exploits, the wolves and imprints were aging very slowly. Besides, it was for a good cause. Harry would keep all his fishing buddies, but more importantly, he wouldn't have to babysit the Uley and Lahote children because they were holy terrors in the making!

Bonnie readily agreed to cast the spell after just two hours of keeping an eye on the toddlers. By the time Seth, who was an optometrist, had returned home from work, he found his imprint with her head slumped on the dining table with a haunted expression on her face, and Little Charlie Uley and Little Billy Lahote painting peanut butter and Nutella all over the house and themselves. A week later, when she found out she was pregnant with Seth's and her first child, she actually cried. Nine months later, they had one set of identical twins, and one set only.

Everyone in Forks and La Push thought Charlie, Alison, Jeff, and Kiki had especially good genes, and they were thankful for it. They all feared being called upon to babysit the Uley and Lahote children, who were known to be brilliantly smart, but highly mischievous. When they thought about it, they were quite similar to their parents.

Emmett and Rose were delighted to be human again. Emmett was a stay-at-home dad, while Rose worked as a physician, alongside Carlisle and Sam. They purchased a house in Forks across from the Swan home on K Street. She ended up birthing three daughters, each of whom were loved, cared for, and cherished. They named their oldest daughter Alison, after the woman who had lifted Rose out of a lifetime of depression.

The first thing Carlisle did after his return to humanity was to have Seth give him an eye exam because he couldn't see a damned thing clearly. It turned out he was nearsighted and had astigmatism, and needed to be fitted for glasses. He then recalled that he wore spectacles prior to his change, a fact he had forgotten about when he was a vampire. He continued working as a physician, while Esme assisted Colin and Tanya with the resettlement of former vampires. The couple had a son and two daughters. Their son was named Samuel Levi after their godfather, who happened to be a great doctor. Their daughters were named Alison, after the woman who empowered Esme, and Mary after Carlisle's mother. They didn't dare name their kids Bella or Paul because god only knew what terrors they'd turn out to be.

Peter and Charlotte had seven sons, and were on their way to having another. They enjoyed having sex so much that they could never remember to use birth control. It was okay, though, they were excellent parents to their boys who were named after the wolves because they really weren't particular about names. So far, there were: Levi, Harry, Billy, Sam, Jacob, Quil, and Embry. The next one would be named Paul, after which they would finally practice safe sex—Peter even doubling up on condoms. Peter opened up an auto body repair shop, which complemented Embry's auto repair shop. They frequently referred customers to each other, boosting business even more. Rose was frequently seen helping out in both shops because she enjoyed tinkering with cars so much. With a brood of eight children, Charlotte chose to focus on raising her boys. She eventually became head of the Forks PTA, and parents ran in the other direction when they saw her because they knew they'd be called upon to volunteer for one thing or another. They lived next door to the Swans in the house to the left of them.

Jasper and Alice settled in Forks, purchasing the vacant home to the right of the Swan home. Alice started her own Etsy business selling jewelry she created, while Jasper taught history at Forks High School. The couple had two kids—a boy and a girl. They named their son Charles Geoffrey after the steadiest man they had ever met, and their daughter Isabella Marie after the bravest girl in the world.

XOXO

A year following the adventure in Volterra, on the day 'Vengeance in Volterra' was released, Bella gave birth to a baby boy—the Uley's second son. They named him Levi Quil after Sam's great-grandfather and Old Quil. Their first son, who was now three years old, was named Charles Geoffrey after his favorite grandpa.

Sam arrived home after working overtime at the hospital. There had been a major accident on the 101 and multiple injuries to tend to. By the time he arrived home, Bella had already put the babies to sleep and was sitting in her pajamas working at the dining table.

"Hey, baby." He kissed his wife on the lips.

"You look exhausted, Sam. What happened?" She caressed his cheek with her fingertips, softly.

"There was a massive accident on the 101. Some tourists weren't minding their speed and they plunged into the ravine. I had to call Carlisle in for help, he had just gone home for the day."

"That bad, huh? Any fatalities?"

"Thankfully, no."

"So my super wolf saved everyone again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss."

He gave her a quick kiss, but reluctantly pulled away. "I need a shower. I was in surgery all night."

"Well, hurry. I don't know how long the baby will stay asleep."

"I'll be five minutes. Just wait for me in bed—naked."

They loved each other thoroughly and completely, then fell asleep in each other's arms, totally at peace.

Or so he thought.

The sound of slight shuffling stirred him awake. When he opened his eyes, it was to find his naked wife, sitting up in bed, and pointing her gun at an intruder. He looked to be just under six feet tall with brownish-black hair and piercing blue eyes. Sam wasn't sure what the guy was because he had a bit of a tan, but he didn't smell quite human. He had a friendly grin on his face, too. Besides, Bella had her vampire-killing gun pointed straight at him.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

"Do you think you can kill me with that thing?"

"You'd be surprised at what I can and can't do. And don't bother compelling me either. It get's old. Besides, I'm immune to it. I'm going to ask you again. Who are you, and what do you want?"

"Gee whiz! Bonnie said you'd be tough. I'm Damon Salvatore from Mystic Falls, Virginia. I was in New Orleans when you were in town for the doppelgänger issue, and I heard you might be the only person with a solution to our problem. I need your help, Isabella Uley. You must be Paul."

"No, I'm Sam."

Damon straightened his posture, puffed out his chest, and donned a seductive smile. "I can roll with that." He stripped down to his underwear, as the Uleys stared at him with bewildered expressions on their faces. He came to Bella's side of the bed. "Scoot over, honey."

"Seriously? This is my husband, Dr. Samuel Uley. I'm in a monogamous relationship. Paul is my writing partner."

"Oh, that's too bad." He looked chagrined. "Sorry. You have a pretty wife. Why don't I wait downstairs in the living room for you?"

"Thank you," Sam replied. "If you want a menage-a-trois, try asking the couple who own Via Gianna, the Italian restaurant in Forks. They're a bit more freer with their love."

Bella and Sam quickly got dressed and went downstairs to speak to their visitor, who was kicking back on the sofa and making himself at home, watching TV.

"You have a really nice house."

"Thank you." Sam wasn't in the mood for small talk. "Now why are you really here?"

"I come as a representative of Mystic Falls. We're being overrun by some sort of a hybrid."

"What sort of a hybrid?"

"Were-ninjas."

Sam didn't like how his wife's expression changed to an intrigued one. When she got that look, it usually spelled trouble.

"Ah, interesting. So they do exist. This will require a trip to Louisiana, and then one to Northern Japan."

"Why all those places?" Damon asked, confused.

"We have to get them at the source, and I'll need Alcide's help with this since he's a werewolf," Bella replied. "Fancy a trip to Japan, Sam?"

"Are we going to be in danger?"

"No more than usual."

"Why do you always do this to me?"

"Because I love you, honey."

"So, you'll help us?" Damon asked.

"Sure, sure. This will be perfect for our next novel anyway."

Sam turned to the visitor. "You're not exactly human, are you?"

Before he could answer, Bella replied, "No, he's a vampire."

"A traditional one?"

"Cursed. A traditional one wouldn't be able to enter our house without being invited in."

"Exactly what she says."

"Oh, good. That's nice to know." He turned to Damon. "Now, get out. You've got your answer. I've had a long day at work and I really don't feel like dealing with this right now."

"Yeah, I get it. You have to get on with making love to your wife." The vampire disappeared from their house, shutting the door behind him.

Sam shook his head, carried his wife up the stairs, and tucked her in bed.

"I just realized that life with you has never been boring."

"No, not really, but you know, Sam? You're the one who keeps me grounded, don't you?"

"Are you saying I'm boring?"

Bella rolled into his arms so she was snuggled up close to him. "You can never be boring. You make it possible for me to live life the way I want to, and when I'm in a bind, you're always there to rescue me."

In actuality, it was the other way around. Bella was always there to rescue him. She always made sure he was protected. Even last year, when she risked her life and walked into a vampire's lair in order to save La Push, Sam knew it was for him and him alone. He also knew that breaking the curse on the sparkly, marble vampires served a dual purpose. Not only did the vampires get their wish and have their humanity restored, but Sam's pack would be the last to phase. Their children would never have to go through the adolescent hell, which came with phasing.

It was like his mother once told him many years ago, Bella was always looking out for him.

"Thanks, Bella."

"For what?"

"For loving me."

"I will always love you, Sam." She placed his hand on her heart. "You're always with me right here."

He kissed her tenderly on her lips.

"You can keep my heart hostage forever, Bella."

And they lived happily ever after.