'Lo! I guess this is where I ramble and pretend you care, right? Close enough, anyway. I'm a big fan of , but sadly, my creative talents lay with the pencils and graphic design programs. I'll rarely be posting anything on here, and if I do, be proud. I get plot bunnies mobbing me, but after a 10 minute epic struggle for my life and freedom, they disapear. Poof! With multicolored smoke and rude sound effects. My ideas, plots, and characters get fleshed out, but they never make it out of the planning stage, such a shame. I do believe insanity is contagious, and my ideas certainly qualify *cackles* The world needs more insanity, the good kind, at least. Ah, my fandoms are pretty limited, but I'm addicted to Pirates of the Caribbean, Sherlock(I have been Cumberbatched) Harry Potter, Naruto, Supernatural, and Criminal minds, but I'm also pretty into Kingdom of Hearts, Final Fantasy, One Piece and some other randoms that I forget the names of. So, you'll find that out looking at my 'favorite' tab. I love techno music, snuggling, old school rock and punk, drawing, cooking, and long walks in the forest. You now know enough to date me, congrats XD Read on, if you dare: as I mentioned above, insanity is contagious...

Unfortunately, I attract technical difficulties. So, if I favourited and/or followed your story(ies) without reviewing, it means;

A)You're bloody brilliant and have a real knack for writing, thanks for sharing, by the way and

B)Technical difficulties prevented me from heaping well deserved praises onto you, in that case, just assume that you're awesome and that I'm sulking because I love giving credit where credit is due.

Guide To finding 'Libraries' Of FanFiction

~If you find a story, or concept that you love, go to the Author's favorite stories page. We often get inspiration for writing, by reading. It can take a few hits and misses to find a large fic bank for you to scour.
~In case the above fails to yield success, hit up the favorite authors tab redo the previous step.
~Raid the communities! They won't mind.
~Don't pay attention to the amount of reviews. Siriusly. *ducks flying fruit*
~Make use of the advanced search feature, and then follow steps one and two.

Reviewing Etiquette

~State things you liked, and things you didn't, preferably with why you did/didn't like it, and how the wonderful author can try do better next time
~Don't be stupid. Honestly. If you are smart enough to navigate this site, then surely you can avoid reading stories about things you fall into an uncontrollable rage after reading.
~If the author is discontinuing the fic, or is taking a hiatus, be happy that they wrote as much as they did, and encourage them to continue nicely. Threats, misspelled or no, aren't too effective.
~Give candies, and lurv. Everyone wants some lurv.
~Your enthusiasm is contagious, so go nuts!
~ Everyone is crazy here, bask in the shared insanity by throwing in inspiration for later chapters.
~If you can't say anything even close to being nice, don't say anything at all. Everyone starts somewhere.
~If you have made fanart, make sure the link you give to the author works. If it doesn't, it's like sprinting to the candy store, straight into a glass dome surrounding it. So close, yet so far...
~VIVA LA REVOLUTION! The reviewing revolution, that is. Even if it's a *thumbs up, reviews are the rainbows of . Tack on a review to every story you read, unless the 'can't say anything nice' applies.
~Proper punctuation and spelling are optional, but try not to misspell character names, the story title, or the author's name. Matters of pride, ya know?

When In Doubt...

~Scream and shout
~"FORTY TWO!"
~Point to the nearest object and place the blame.
~The voices made you do it, duh.
~You see, this really cool T.V show made it seem like a good idea.
~Use spray cheese.
~"In accordance to the prophecy, I cannot answer at this time"
~It was the brainwashing abilities of the Holy Spaghetti Monster.
~Dance it out.
~Preform either the Turkey Curse (see 'Teh Funny Thingies') or Madonna's 'Like A Virgin'
~Find duct tape.

~ Imitate a flat surface.

~"Not my division"

~Fish are friends, not food.
~Plead the six hundred and fifty seventh.
~Alien Abduction.
~Wear purple.

~Jiggle the handle.
~Use chopsticks.
~Sanity is optional, right?
~Go to Walmart.
~"Accio Hagrid!
~Hum 'Mission impossible'. Success rate will increase by a factor of Chuck Norris.

Teh Funny Things (As referenced above) That I Do Not Own

You have a twisted sense of humor.
"I prefer 'laughing outside the box.'"

Don't think of it as Voldemort, think of it as a leather upholstered Chihuahua.

To Perform the Turkey Curse:
Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were a Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
The results will be instantly apparent.

Sasuke doesn't bitch-slap. It's more like bitch-assassinate.

Deduction is great, It requires great precision, Forget John and Sherlock, You're my division.

The fish-like man looked around wildly. "Which way did he go?"
"Kisame."
"The former mist nin noticed his partner's regard.
"What has he done to me?" he demanded. "Is it my hair?" One hand shot up to his head, pulling the spiky locks in front of his eyes. Kisame twisted, trying to see his back. "Is there a sign?"
"Kisame!" Itachi's firm voice cut through the other's rising hysteria.
"What?"
"Your clothing is disintegrating."
A girlish shriek escaped Kisame's lips as the damage became obvious. His clothes were falling off in pieces.

"It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism!"

One day we'll look back at this moment, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

Do not meddle in the affairs of Slashers for you are cute and go well with men.

It's not cheating if it works and no one catches you.

Voldemort gave the saviour of the wizarding world an annoyed look. "I'm going to let you call me that, if only because you'll cause a scene otherwise by shouting Voldemort at the top of your lungs in the middle of a nice conversation. Mass panics can be nice, but I'd rather choose when they happen myself.

"Mayhem achieved, boredom relieved

How was he meant to know that this...this tower of jelly was capable of setting itself alight!

He pounded on the door demanding sanctuary from Castiel's sudden discovery of his inner fanboy.

McGonagall was giving him her patented 'you've just earned yourself another biscuit' look.Oh yes, he and McGonagall understood each other very well.

Floating a mass of internal organs into a room will bring silence.

"Murphy laughs at your so called perfect plans!"

Seriously, just look at this...this thing! It's freaky, bitch! Those eyes...it's looking at me all the time, like it knows something I don't... I swear it's mocking me, it's Fish of the Darkness!~~I love you suigetsu XD

These teenage, hormone driven psychopaths could probably make Voldemort wet himself if the bastard was still alive.

First thing, no. Second thing, shut up. Third thing, I will destroy you.

This was why it didn't matter if people wouldn't accept them. This was why it didn't matter if what they were doing could be explained logically. Because when Harry looked at Cedric, he saw something he wanted when he'd let himself want so little all his life. And when Cedric looked at Harry, he saw something worth dedicating himself to, even if it didn't fit into his father's plan.--D'awww, this story got even I, the anti-romantic, all mushy inside X3

"He who is grammatically incorrect has, metaphorically, chosen the short straw. Get a move on."

Dentistry is a false science.

Most kids my age think of Wolverine when they hear werewolf, not 'oh my God, I'm going to die'

"I mean it's Christmas day, and it's eighty-four degrees out," Dean, despite the complaint, smiled, "No wonder Santa doesn't come visit us- he'd melt!"
"Wrong Dean," eleven year old Sam commented from his position on the grass, "The snowman would melt if he came here; Santa doesn't come visit because you like to shoot things."

By Merlin, this boy needed a Hufflepuff!

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush... unless you're a flesh-eating bush.

"Thanks, Seph."
"Don't call me that. I hate it when you call me that."
"Why?"
"Because it makes me sound like a child's plaything rather than the killing menace I am proud to be."

"Wait, what? Are you serious? I'm not going to high school, Edward. I'm suicidal, not masochistic."

"But, Naruto-kun..." Hinata spoke up, "You don't have the bloodline limit to summon the red neck treefolk to sodomized them to death in the middle of the village!"

51. "Beaters do it with Wood" is not funny, even if the only people who aren't laughing are the Weasley twins and Oliver.

"You aren't a grim, Sirius, you're a regular dog," Harry replied, exasperated.
"A dog with delusions of grandeur," Remus added.
"Ideas above his station."
"Aspirations of grimhood."
Sirius growled. "Bugger off, both of you."

"You're far too amused by the knowledge that you've molested my father."

If you so much as whisper 'igloo', I'll kill you with my eyeliner.

"Remind me again why it is wrong to kill people," Cas glared angrily as he burst into the apartment.
"Um…it's the law, you'd look weird in an orange jump suite, it can be messy and if it was ok it would cause total anarchy." Dean offered cheekily as he flipped through a car magazine on the sofa.
"Those are not very persuasive arguments; most of them only apply if you are caught." He lights a cigarette standing behind the sofa.

55. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.

And jeese, people, lighten up on Ginny. She's always seemed pretty inoffensive to me. And yes, Fanon!Ginny is often rather over the top, but Fanon!Snape is snuggly and has clean hair, Fanon!Draco is insecure, abused, and selfless, Fanon!Ron is a blockheaded ingrate, and Fanon!Harry is a depressive rebellious Merlinesque self-mutilating sex god. Honestly.
~I love you opalish~ XD I hate Ginny and Snape, but this is an epic rant!

My Rules to Live By: (Because I don't know where else to plop this segment down...and yes..I, Charming Karma, Do own this.)
-Treat others how you want to be treated.
-The past is the past, you'll hit a tree unless you stay in the present and look to the future.
-Put yourself in their shoes, always.
-You can help and hope all you want, but it's their life, and their decisions.
-Never be embaressed. Life's too short, just laugh it off and play it up.
-There is always more then meets the eye and what is immidiately obvious.
-You can consider what others think of you, but at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and should stay yourself.
-Actions speak louder then words, but sometimes a whisper works better then a shout.
-Your decisions make your life, and what happens as a result is no ones fault but your own, with many exeptions...
-There is no right or wrong, black or white. Just various in-betweens and circumstances.
-Panic does nothing, prejudice does worse, keep a clear head and think using instinct and logic.
-Know yourself, because without the ink, a map is just a giant hard to fold piece of paper.
-Metaphors and hidden meaning are everywhere, even if peoples didn't consciously mean it to be X3
-A good cry now and then is fantastic, but laughter is what truly sets you free.

I try to live by these rules, and I do for, like, 99% of the time, old habits die hard, neh? This is the first time I've written any down, and it's a bit of an eye opener for me, and it tells you a lot about me. But that was the purpose so tis all good :P

A pigtailed woman, about twenty, continued to arrange apples on a shelf. Not turning she spoke, "No, Kakashi-san, I will not sleep with you no matter what my father says. Also I will not bear your children or watch after your dog when you leave for a mission." She finally about-faced to see the ninja, crossing her arms, "And I will not help you take over the world using a spoon as our communication device."

Do not anger dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

"Secrets make the world turn."
"I thought that was money?" said Fred.
"That's a lie told to keep the secret safe"

I've heard of sanity, but I've never had much use for it. Too many crazy people practice it for my tastes!

"Harry," Blaise said calmly, "Congratulations. You just knocked out a Dementor, using nothing more than your pet rock."

"Is that a good thing?" Lupin shuddered and Blaise was damn sure he was awake.

"Never argue with a fool. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

Naruto: "I've found out how to repair your seal so you can sleep again and control Shukaku, but it'd turn you into a woman."
Gaara: (pause) "Okay."
Naruto: "Really? You're fine with this?"
Gaara: "The sand prevents me from touching people, so I never bothered to develop a sexual identity. Not having dangly bits wouldn't be that big of a change."
Naruto: "Wow. I never thought about it like that."
Gaara: "Either way, I become a ravenous beast once a month."
Naruto: (sweat drops)

Nott seemed to take great pleasure in disagreeing with Blaise about everything from History of Magic ("Goblins don't eat chocolate, nor do they sing." "Are you sure? Maybe they just don't do it in public…") to the staircases ("They're evil, I tell you!" "They're magical." "What's the difference? They're still out to get me!" "No they're not- whoa!" "HA! I told you!" "I'm sure that was just a coincidence. They move all the time." "Then why is that suit of armor laughing at you?")

Anything Hagrid found interesting tended to leave emotional scars.

"You're…mad."
"Not mad," Draco pointed out calmly. "Obsessed. There's a difference."

"I refuse to go down in history as the man who led the naked revolution."

"Miss Granger, I do believe we are in trouble," Harry pointed out to Hermione with a smile.
"I do believe you're right Mr. Potter. But at least we're consistent," Hermione replied.

Suddenly everything clicked into place in Harry's mind. The letter, the gigantic man, this woman, his relatives' nervous expressions...It was all clear now.
"So you are a human trafficker."

"What about you, Rai?" Arcturus asked. "What's he call you?"
"Claws," Rai said with an evil smirk as he flexed a hand full of wicked claws.
"He was originally going to call him Sex Fiend," Ren told them quietly. "But Gaunt told him that could be viewed as sexual harassment, so he had to pick a new name."

"Oh satan on a stick," A.K. mumbled. "It's the bucktoothed Buckwheat."

"Look, all I know is that I was not groped by an angel." Dean talking about how he got out of hell

Remus would pat his knee, Dudley gave him odd little smiles, and the vampires...well, Harry was patient. Harry was sure that if he gave them enough time, they would stop removing him from the ground and hugging him.

Being strange is what makes you special. Being unique is what makes you human

With a squeal, Naruto made a bee-line to the puddle and jumped, both feet landing in the middle of the waterhole. He giggled as water splashed and soaked the hems of his pants. He jumped one more time for good measure.
And stopped when he heard an "oof!"
Blinking owlishly, Naruto stared at the puddle he stood in, before turning back to his team. "SENSEI! This puddle just talked!"
Sasuke arched a brow, while Sakura, nose buried in her scroll, didn't spare the blond a second glance. Kakashi raised his brows in amusement. "Is that so? What did it say?"
"OOF!"
"And what should we do about that?" Kakashi further inquired, visible eye curving into an arc to signify he was smiling.
"DO IT AGAIN!" Naruto shouted with glee, raising one foot and slamming it down in the puddle again. This time, the strangled cry emitting from the puddle was heard by all.
"My, that puddle sounds distressed," Kakashi commented idly.

If you can't prove it, nothing happened.

"Has Mr. Potter stared believing in magic yet?" McGonnagal asked Blaise.
"Nope."
"And how does he explain the dragon?"
"Iguana on steroids."

Kakashi made quick work of the two Mist Chuunin, tying them to a tree with some rather complicated (and ornate, Sasuke thought) knot work. "Saa… I don't suppose you two would tell me who you work for, now would you?" He tried.
No response.
"Hmm… What was your mission?" Kakashi tried again, rubbing his chin.
Again, no response.
"Tricky fellas, aren't you?"
"Uhm, sensei. I think they're unconscious."
"Excellent deduction, Sakura," Kakashi replied without missing a beat. Sasuke sighed. Sometimes, the man seemed really capable. Other times, he wondered if Kakashi was really all there…
"Oh, wow! I can see the whites of this one's eyes!"
Same went for Naruto, too.

We've found that while explosives are not the answer to all problems, the number of situations where they can't be used effectively in some fashion is extremely limited

"Looks like we've got ourselves some mist bunshin."
"What? Mist bunshin?" Sakura echoed. "How many types of bunshin are there?"
"Lots. I heard someone in Kumogakure recently created a cheese bunshin. But that's not important right now."

"You're really coming out of your shell, Calliope."
"More like you lot are smashing my shell against a rock repeatedly,"
~~That peoples, is what my friends did to me.~~

"War is chaos," Harry found himself quoting his earlier words in a musing tone. Then he raised his head. "Too bad we don't have any Americans.

"Actually I was planning to kill you with this pocky" he stated calmly as if it where a perfectly logical fact, By this time they had attracted a fairly large crowd most of which wanted to see the fox boy beaten but several ninja in the crown where wondering if it where even possible to kill a man with pocky, The man laughed.
A second later the man was no longer laughing, his throat was heavily bleeding from a pocky inflicted injury, soon after he was dead, most of the villagers fled at the sight of such "uncalled for" violence and the ninjas present, though thoroughly impressed, had more important things to do then stand around all day.

"What an interesting method of… dining." Rowena picked up her chopsticks and made a reasonable attempt at using them. Better then Godric's multiple failing attempts, anyway. He held one stick in each hand and was spearing his food only to be disappointed when it slid off the smooth polished wood and back onto his plate. ~~Those darn things hate me too, it's alright Godric!~~~

Admit it, Obito, you've come over to the gay-side

Harry was reminded that, while snakes and lions might be more purely dangerous, angering a badger was a really bad idea. Also, a badger was much harder to detach from one's leg.
~-Heck Yeah!! Puffs rule!-~

Denial was the only sane thing I could hold onto, because suddenly I felt like my name was Alice and I had just stumbled upon wonderland

And, finally, Jiraiya understood.
The key to getting into a group of women... grab a hot blonde kid and claim you're gay.

"A heinous crime." Ryan agreed casually. "Tampering with my menu. It should not be tolerated."
"It's your handwriting, Ryan." Remus said with an amused twinkle in his eye.
"My handwriting? Menu tampering and Forgery to boot? What kind of people do you accept into this school Dumbledore?" Ryan demanded innocently.

"How much longer are you planning to awe me with your ungodly ability to move like a drunk squirrel?"

"Albus, this must stop!" Minerva demanded, "Just this past week they jinxed Gregory Goyle so that he could only respond by shouting 'No Vacancy' at everyone, drew a Dark Mark on seven of their classmate's arms when they fell asleep and conjured up what they call the Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man no less than three different times!
"Hermione Granger now insists the answer to every question is 42! Blaise Zabini has begun carrying around a large book with the title Necronomicon Ex Mortuus and claims to be the Dark Lord's stenographer! Neville Longbottom has begun his own 'Little Shop of Horrors' with cuttings from Pomona's private greenhouses and has trained his toad to attack on command! This is- This is- maddness! And it's only their first year!"I love the Marauders even more after reading this...

"If you want to show a girl you care, blind someone for her." Gretchen said with a nod. "Diamonds are forever but so is a crippling injury."

"The camel bit him," Remus explained shortly. "Now he's cranky."

The Lemon Drops in the head masters office are poisoned. Never accept one if he offers them to you. Remember, you are usually going to be in there because you have done something wrong and it is his job to punish you.

"Tom Riddle. I'm fairly certain you're a pedophile."

The fish-like man looked around wildly. "Which way did he go?"
"Kisame."
"The former mist nin noticed his partner's regard.
"What has he done to me?" he demanded. "Is it my hair?" One hand shot up to his head, pulling the spiky locks in front of his eyes. Kisame twisted, trying to see his back. "Is there a sign?"
"Kisame!" Itachi's firm voice cut through the other's rising hysteria.
"What?"
"Your clothing is disintegrating."
A girlish shriek escaped Kisame's lips as the damage became obvious. His clothes were falling off in pieces.

Nobody is ever really 'sacrificed to the Giant Squid'; especially not head first via the toilet.

So, basically, as long as you don't try to Obliviate me or one of my friends, I don't really plan on doing anything. Oh, and if you try to steal one of my accomplishments, I will beat you to death with a paper napkin."
"CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?" Lockhart asked, intrigued and not at all bothered by Harry's threat.
Harry shrugged. "I'll have fun trying."

"I've seen your version of sanity. It bores me."

"Oh! But can't we just-"
"No Cassie you cannot blow them up." Bessie scolded.
"We then how about we-"
"Nor can you set them on fire, sell their kidneys on the black market, or mix the essence of Barney into their pumpkin juice." Joey eliminated in a bored tone.

"You don't get a say in this, old man. Tar. Feathers. Gelding knife. Superglue, walnut groats and two hundred rabid squirrels. Do not tempt me."

'in an insane world the sane appear insane

He completely blamed Voldemort...And Snape...What for he had yet to decide.

Pride would be wounded, nails would be broken, hair pulled, and feelings hurt and when it was all done Sirius Black would be there to gather the black mail…And the cute little new student of course.

"Oh, go deep throat an ice pick." Cassie shouted and stormed out of the room amidst the stunned silence of her housemates, bar George of course who giggled and clapped.
Back in the Bahamas, Draco was chasing a hysterically laughing Daphne around the room scolding her about teaching small children the process of creative sexuality.

"Even though you have all the experience of a rock that was dropped on it's head as a baby. I adore you." Utterly.
"Thank you?" Sai said

Apparently free and slightly singed gnomes preferred the taste of human flesh to that of potatoes.

Gringott's Goblins Rules of Acquisition number 37: Once in a while declare peace. It will confuse the hell out of your enemies

You have a twisted sense of humor.
"I prefer 'laughing outside the box.'"

Bug me and your dead... Touch me, you'll wish you were dead, try to talk to me for no god damn reason, and You'll die, go to hell, and

come back just to repeat the process. Got that?... Hmm…sounds like me in the morning or that one time when Branden wouldn't give me my hot chocolate back...*giggles*

Now, if you've read all the way to here, you get more specific info about me! Here's your metaphorical cookie! I'm 16 years old (Keep calm because I'm legal XD Major kudos if you know what pic I'm referencing), 5'11, with short hair and a love of all things Halloween. I'm a tomboy at heart, a pansexual, and I happen to love apples. I plan on going to med school to become a doctor, and I'm really not the most reliable person for day to day things, but when it comes down to it, I'll be there when it matters. Also, if it wasn't obvious, I am a girl. Rawr. Your cookie is only so big.