Disclaimer: (Cue tearful reunion of lazy author and extremely patient readers)

I'M BACK! 2008 (and half of 2009) went by in such a flash… but now I'm back with another chapter, so you'll forgive me, right?

I'm putting an end to italicizing El Azul and Jirafa. It's getting annoying. I may own them, but I don't own One Piece.

Friend and Foe

Chapter XVIII

"…Who won?"

Someone dared to break the silence that had fallen onto the scene after a particularly loud explosion that was sure to have decided the battle. The idiot who spoke up too early was immediately silenced by a few dozen death glares and one well-aimed shoe.

The crowd waited with wide open eyes for all the smoke to clear up. It was taking a lot longer than expected, and some were starting to turn blue from holding their breaths too long. There were a few muffled coughs.

"Is Smoker here or something?" Mel mumbled, attempting to remedy the situation by fanning the thick air around her.

"A smoker?" Jirafa responded, obviously unfamiliar with the person she was referring to. He was also waving around his hand, except that it was a lot bigger than Mel's and thus actually helpful. Some of the smoke around them cleared up.

"The lady is joking, my clueless friend," El Azul pointed out rather smugly, though he also failed to understand her reference.

Mel couldn't see the point of explaining herself, so she didn't. Her joke was already ruined anyway.

Even as the spectators began to grumble amongst themselves the smoke finally thinned, though the excitement from earlier had already died down a bit. Not that that was enough reason to keep the citizens of Lucha Town from witnessing the final victor of this epic battle. Steaming tea kettles and burning stoves had long been forgotten.

The wrestling ring was now practically shapeless- blackened here and there with flames still crackling in some areas and a monstrous crater in the center. The marines were the only ones who groaned at this sight- they were, after all, responsible for cleaning up this mess later. Everyone else was busy communicating their awe by going through every single sound that qualified as an exclamation of surprise, wonder, approval, and the like.

"Oh my," was what Mel had to say after a low whistle. She thought it was impressive that the navy base itself was still completely intact. Only the courtyard was destroyed beyond measure. The two who were responsible for the mess were standing on either ends of the crater.

"So who won?" the guy from earlier asked once more. This time he was ignored as the spectators watched the two figures intently. Smoke was trailing up from both of them.

"Could it be… a tie?" Jirafa suggested, sounding downright impressed. He honestly hadn't expected that pirate to even stand a chance against the star of Lucha Town.

"Ties are for sissies," Mel uttered grimly with her arms crossed. She obviously didn't know that Jirafa and El Azul tied all the time. The two wrestlers glanced at each other in shameful silence.

THUD.

The spectators simultaneously stopped breathing for a few (more) moments as they stared at the source of the noise. Captain Everard was on his back. And his back was on the ground. If he could get up within the time limit, the fight would be far from over. Nobody dared to make a sound.

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the referee reappeared. He was in fact, second-in-command at the Lucha Town marine base, but nobody really cared. Captain Everard was basically the only person worth knowing where the marines were concerned.

In any case, Mr. Referee (nobody bothered to find out his real name) was now receiving more attention than ever before- he savored the moment as long as he could, clearing his throat when it looked like the townspeople were ready to throw pointy things at him. He then began the countdown.

Senior officer Wilfred Gray grumbled in his black leather armchair. He got his own little cabin, of course, but that didn't seem to soothe his seasickness, which was having a rather violent tantrum somewhere near his kidneys.

It had never been like this in the old days, of course. Back then, he had been the one barking orders and making people seasick, until, quite a few years ago now, his insides had spontaneously decided to retire and had learned to dance with the waves. He had avoided any type of vessel ever since.

People made jokes about him these days, but he pretended that they didn't. Then again, it was tough not be made fun of when what was left of your hair was white and your surname was Gray.

He was the unlucky fellow, previously referred to as the old government official, who had faced two generations of the Diedricks and "let them go just like that", according to a particularly nasty report- the marine who had written it had wisely remained anonymous.

The way the blue-haired girl had slipped away after declining a job offer from Senior Officer Gray had been a bit embarrassing, but fortunately no one under his command was old enough to remember details of the far more humiliating incident in which the other Diedrick had escaped from a prison cell under his watch.

Not this time, though.

If the girl was on Lucha Town and her bag in the hands of the navy there, he would not rest until he affirmed it with his own eyes.

Even if that meant getting on a very fast ship and feeling his insides tango.

Captain Everard was still on the ground.

There was a long pause. Then a much shorter one. The puzzled townspeople exchanged looks.

Not a second too soon, Mel pressed her hands against her ears.

The place exploded with sound.

Tashigi twitched at the very loud sound of a door bursting open somewhere down the hall. She knew exactly which door was being handled so crudely and could imagine why. Some marines who had been patrolling along the same corridor cringed as the aforementioned door was shut with another loud bang.

"No need to worry, everyone. I am still alive!" a voice drew their attention. Tashigi blinked at the lieutenant who suddenly stood there, smiling broadly and looking distinctly proud of herself.

None of them had been worrying about her, but it wasn't like anyone was stupid enough to point that out. Smoker's subordinates were actually quite sensible—which was why they immediately excused themselves, leaving Tashigi to fend for herself.

The bespectacled petty officer blinked some more upon suddenly finding herself alone with the older woman.

"Err, lieutenant?" Tashigi spoke up seconds later, suddenly feeling the need to excuse herself as well. "I… eh…" Except that she failed to think of anything she ought to be doing.

It had just occurred to her that the reason behind the sudden departure of the six or seven marines who had been standing nearby might have had something to do with the slamming of that door just moments before.

Captain Smoker kicking the lieutenant out of his office was a common occurrence, but equally common were his ensuing disgruntled stampedes down the hall which would leave anyone in the vicinity gasping for breath and losing all sense of coordination while stuck in a smoky corridor with poor ventilation. Needless to say, such an experience was not exactly popular among Smoker's crew.

Emily stared expectantly at the younger woman who was now fidgeting nervously. Who knew what might have happened if a marine hadn't shown up at that very moment to save them from further awkwardness and inevitable boredom.

"Lieutenant Robertson! Oh hello officer-" the man greeted the two women, "I have a report!"

Ace did not quite know what to do with himself. But the people of Lucha Town certainly did. He was currently being paraded through the streets amongst lots of cheering and loud music performed by a mariachi band that had appeared out of nowhere.

Little old women watched from their balconies, waving colorful handkerchiefs and throwing confetti into the crowd. Not that it was necessary—the streets were already dotted with so much color that the resulting scene would have made any decent artist flinch.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," the pirate began, turning to the nearest face, which happened to be obscured by a yellow mask, "What is this?"

"It's a fiesta, my dear boy!" the man exclaimed jovially. He was the only one tall enough to talk to him, due to the fact that Ace was being carried on some strange and colorful contraption over the heads of the townspeople.

"Okay," he replied. It hadn't been much of an explanation, but he decided that it was good enough for now. He could smell a lot of food up ahead. Hmm, food. He hadn't had any of that in a while.

"You see, you're the new champion! The greatest luchador! A-" Jirafa stopped when he realized that the young man wasn't listening anymore. Ruddy pirates and their short attention spans, he thought to himself.

"So Senior Officer Gray is on his way to Lucha Island to collect the bag and possibly little Mel, too?" the lieutenant summarized as they walked along the corridor aimlessly.

"Yes, si- ma'am."

Tashigi was following the two because this was the only direction that led far, far away from the disgruntled captain's office. As oblivious as she could be to Smoker's temper, she too did not like the idea of suffocating in a stuffy corridor.

"Who's Senior Officer Gray?" Emily asked blankly.

"Err," said the marine.

"He's a … senior officer?" Tashigi attempted to explain, giving up when she failed to find anything particularly significant about the old man in question. He was old, for one thing, but that wasn't a very polite (or smart) thing to say about one's senior officer.

"I see," the older woman said, apparently satisfied with that rather unhelpful clarification. "Well, I'm not too worried," she added.

"About what?" the marine questioned, a bit dazed in the presence of the eccentric lieutenant.

"Oh, just in general," Emily replied airily. They believed her.

Meanwhile, the local salespeople were busy creating merchandise on the spot (which they happened to be very good at). Any proper vendor would have taken shameless advantage of the sudden rise in popularity of the color orange. Colorful masks were exchanged for largely orange ones; any and all hats were hurriedly soaked in orange dye to be sold at ridiculous prices, and little action figures of Ace were being created with incredible efficiency.

"I like this place," Mel said after disentangling herself from the colorful crowd. Aside from her bag she was also holding an armful of souvenirs that happy street peddlers had given her for free (for whatever reason). It was mostly colorfully useless stuff, anyway.

"I was just thinking the same thing," Ace told her, grinning lazily as a large table in front of him began to be piled up with all kinds of food.

The majority of the food in Lucha Town was spicy- ranging from burning furnace to blazing sun, though the issue of which was greater was still being debated. Even the local fruit had a peppery aftertaste, which Mel had discovered after biting into an otherwise normal-looking peach. Still, it was good food.

Though the pirate was technically the center of the party, everyone was so busy eating, dancing, and generally having fun that Ace was left to do whatever he pleased, which, in this case, was eating. His blue-haired friend sat near him, helping herself to some meat-on-a-stick as they watched an impressive dance-off between the townspeople.

"Your winnings, miss," an old man wheezed, having approached the two unnoticed. He held out a considerably large pouch full of coins which Mel took happily.

Ace raised an amused eyebrow.

"You were gambling?" he asked, grinning, "I am shocked."

She glanced at him sideways, looking dramatically offended.

"Of course not, see, gambling implies a risk of losing," she explained primly, "I never lose."

Lucha Town was a bit of a sore spot in navy politics. It was one of those few cases in which the local people, instead of simply disliking or ignoring the marine base (as per usual), had completely taken over and converted most of the marines to their unique form of dress and, well, life. Marines that were deployed there would never be the same when (or more, if) they came back.

In the navy, the topic was unanimously avoided- except when it came to unpleasantries. It was a place that officers discreetly hinted at whenever subordinates were being particularly useless, and some captains enjoyed observing the abject horror that was evident in their faces at the words 'transferring' and 'Lucha Town' combined in one sentence.

This was why the marine who shouted "Land, ho!" at the sight of Lucha Town couldn't help sounding rather dismayed. Senior Officer Gray, whose resolve to do something useful for a change had somehow overcome his seasickness, was therefore unpleasantly surprised by the lack of enthusiasm in his subordinates. He himself had evidently never heard of all the dreadful rumors concerning the island they were about to reach.

What could go wrong? All they had to do to renew the respect that Gray had pretty much lost over the years was to find a blue haired woman and her bag. Half of that was already done, since there had been news of the bag being secured at the navy base. Apparently the senior officer had yet to hear about the more recent goings-on in Lucha town.

"Once we arrive, you are to capture this woman," said Senior Officer Gray, holding up an enlarged picture of the blue haired woman in question. "She should be with Firefist Ace, so you can capture him, too."

He was, of course, hugely overestimating his subordinates (he had obviously been cooped up in that office of his for too long), but nobody bothered to point that out. They felt a bit sorry for him, and didn't want to burst his bubble.

"You know, I think I wouldn't mind living here," Mel said, grinning broadly while stuffing her newly acquired things into her bag. Somehow, there was still enough room in her already overstuffed bag for a pile of money, a pair of maracas, little bags of interesting spices (free samples, apparently), some unidentifiable and painfully colorful whatsits, and an ugly wrestling mask.

A delighted gasp came from behind her. It sent one disgusted shiver down her frozen spine. The grin melted off her face as if affected by the bright sunlight. She paled.

"Oh, my angel of the sea! I am delighted- no, honored!- to hear such words from you!"

The fawning admiration was unmistakable. Mel didn't bother (or dare) to turn around and check.

"I see what you mean. The people practically worship you," Ace commented while chomping contentedly on a rather large piece of smoked ham. He did not seem at all alarmed at the fast recovery of the marine captain.

Captain Everard was in a particularly good mood- he was anything but a sore loser, and was apparently quite happy about having met a worthy opponent in the fire-wielding pirate. That, and the love of his life had finally appeared in all her blue eyed glory- the main reason why he had managed to recover so quickly. It was less than an hour ago that the festivities had begun.

"Stay with me, my beauty, and you shall make me the happiest luchador alive!" the marine captain exclaimed with what could only be described as a joyful twirl.

Mel stared, her mouth slightly open in awe. Ace forgot to chew for a moment.

"On second thought…we… really… need… to go," she muttered numbly as the pirate began to cough in an attempt to laugh with a mouthful of food.

"Oh no, my lady," Everard replied, shaking his head and slapping Ace's shoulder in a good-natured way, "This fellow here won't be able to leave while we're having a fiesta in his honor!"

"Sounds good to me," said the pirate, ignoring the painful handprint on his shoulder and focusing on a giant drumstick.

Mel's shoulders sagged in silent despair. Then she remembered something-

"Wait- what about Blackbeard?"

The newly arrived marines stood, quite speechless, at the town entrance.

"This is… err…" one of them said, scratching his head. His words were drowned out by all the music.

Orange hats everywhere; men in colorful masks, shirtless and mostly muscular- women covering their heads with equally colorful scarves- everybody dancing, eating, drinking, laughing. Finding someone in this crowd -even if that someone did have blue hair- would be like trying to locate a needle in a giant pile of multi-colored straw.

Senior Officer Gray took a deep breath.

"NYYAAARRGHHH!!!"

-to be continued-

Comments: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tip your hats to Lunar D. Hayase! You've got her to thank for this update, which might have come a lot later otherwise.

This is what I'm going to do to ensure a steadier rate of updating this fic: I demand suggestions from YOU! Yes, you.

In your review that you're obviously about to start writing, include a suggestion for a completely new arc! It can be related to the actual One Piece canon (though nothing too recent… I have yet to start reading the mermaid island arc), or, preferably, something totally random!

An example would be… well, if I had a fresh example, I wouldn't be asking for help. This whole Lucha Town arc went on for 4 whole chapters (and I still have to wrap it up)! And it all stemmed from a random word that someone gave me for inspiration. I think it was 'men-in-masks'… or something like that. That's a beautiful example right there.

Show me your collective power of imagination! Review now!