Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Home: East Tennessee
Age: Uh... that makes me think of some song lyrics: "My friends say I should act my age; What's my age again; What's my age again." Do you know which song I mean?
Birth Sign: Scorpio. And yes, my personality does fit my sign.

Avatar image not mine.

Don't click here!

Various things my friends have said: "Fanfictions are rejecting someone elses reality and submitting your own."; "When life gives you lemons, read them."; "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and sit back and watch while the world wonders how you did it."; "Some people walk on the red carpet because they're celebrities. We walk on toilet paper because we are the Shit."; "Never criticize someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away AND have their shoes."; "Look! A distraction!"; "Wait, this is an honors class?"; "I lesbian you, but I'm not in lesbian with you."; "Hace motherfucking calor!"

Joke Section!

There's bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the Earth is flat. The worse news is that it's tilted. In short, we're all screwed.

Two babies were sitting in their cribs when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"
"I don't know," replied the other baby, giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.
"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference." was the reply.
"Well I do," said the first baby. "I'll climb into your crib and find out." He carefully got himself into the other baby's crib and quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes he resurface with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.
"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"
"It's quite easy, really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink socks and I've got blue ones."

A pirate walks into a bar. He has a steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, "Sir, you do know you have a steering wheel shoved down your pants, right?"
The pirate says, "Argh, it drives me nuts."

Charlie had sex for the first time, and came home and told his dad. His dad said, "Good for you, son. Do you have anything you want to ask me?"
Charlie says, "Yeah, actually. How long is my ass gonna hurt?"

My Copy-and-Paste list:

:) This is Evil Smiley. Evil Smiley likes sharp things. Copy and paste Evil Smiley on your profile so he can see the world.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

And now an ode to yaoi:

If yaoi were vodka

And i were a duck

I'd swim to the bottom

And drink my way up

But Yaoi ain't vodka

And i ain't a duck

So give me some yaoi

And shut the fuck up

1. i need to tell you a secret.(look at #5)
2. the answer is... (look at #11)
3. don't get mad. (look at #15)
4. calm down. (look at #13)
5. first. (look at #2)
6. don't be that mad. (look at #12)
7. i just wanted to say hi lol :P
8. what i wanted to tell you is... (look at 14)
9. be patient. (look at #4)
10. this is the last time okay. (look at #7)
11. i'm not crazy. (look at #6)
12. sorry. (look at #8)
13. don't be hype. (look at #10)
14. i don't know how to say this. (look at #3)
15. you must be ticked off now. (look at #9)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!